Hello All, Thanks for joining me again, in this epic tale.
First of all…for my own satisfaction, I feel I need an explanation (not a defense) of Gabe and Freddie's comments on the wrestler being gay. No, I don't think that wrestlers, or wrestling is gay…(unless you count most of the WWE, but who doesn't think it's gay-wink). I am close with guys who are wrestlers, and Coffee Noodles, you are correct. The worst thing about them is some have given themselves eating disorders trying to make their weight class (worse than being gay any day!). This wasn't about wrestlers; it was about stupid attitudes. I wanted to make it shocking to Gabe that a fellow jock could be gay, (oh, and the fact that he was totally wrong about Alana). It had to be someone he knew and respected, but wasn't close to. Wrestling is so misunderstood, that it was an easy one to use. When people find out someone is gay, there's this whole "I should have seen the signs" thing that goes on. They're teenagers, of course they're going to think stupid thoughts like that. I tried to temper it a little by having Freddie say that they weren't cool by making assumptions about Derek. So, lets review: I wasn't trying to bash on wrestlers, or gay people…just stupid teenage boys who don't understand them. All clear?
Alright, on to this chapter, yay! I get to write Boomer again! So on with the show…
Oh wait, one more quick thing. (Always something isn't it). I added some links to the bottom of my profile as to what was going through my head in describing the characters. There's also other stuff like sort of how I pictured the "Scrambler" and you can see what a Balalaika is (one of Freddie's questions from the trivia contest). I even went virtual shopping for Sam's outfits that were described. So…if you're interested in that sort of thing, go take a look.
Ok, On to the story for real now. Right after this…
Disclaimer: I still don't own iCarly, but I have a new plan! I'm going to disguise myself as a happy orange splat and see if I can infiltrate the bowels of Nickelodeon. I'll just plaster myself against the walls until I get to the iCarly stage. Then, while they're happily making their little show, I'll scoop them all up in my mysteriously enlarging bag, and take them all home with me! (Maybe I'll leave Lewbert) Think it'll work?
Sam and Freddie watched the commotion on the field as they approached. There were giant inflatable obstacles everywhere, and people were hammering stakes into the ground. It looked like a camera crew setting up on a platform next to the course. Freddie eyed the equipment longingly as they past.
"Easy boy," Sam smirked. "Don't jizz yourself before we even start."
Freddie scowled at her and blushed a bit at the comment. They kept walking through until they finally found someone they recognized.
"Whitney," Freddie shouted as he ran up to her.
"Yes," she said looking down on them. "Can I help you?"
"We're here to check-in," Sam smiled.
"Oh, Freddie," she frowned. "Where are Gabe and the other girl?" She asked looking past them.
"He's feeling a bit sick right now, and Alana's helping him. But that's ok, Sam's going to be my partner." Freddie pointed.
"What? No, he's gotta be here! We gotta have two teams to play this game! Besides, you can't change partners. You already started with the others! " she said in a panic.
"Look Witchy!" Sam yelled.
"It's Whitney," she rolled her eyes.
"Not from where I'm standing," Sam growled. "Only one of the team members had to sign up. The only team members you have solid are Freddie and Gabe. My name isn't on either team. Those were your rules. I had my turn with Gabe, now I'm partners with Freddie." She took a step into Whitney's face. "You got that?"
Whitney backed away from Sam with wide eyes. "Riley!" she called. She quickly turned and stomped away in a tantrum yelling for the producer. "RILEY!!!"
Freddie turned to Sam as they watched Whitney storm away.
"She's going to bring that producer guy back with her," he explained. "You already pushed the rules in the last game, maybe you ought to let me do the talking this time."
"But…" Sam started, but Freddie quickly cut her off.
"If you get them mad then we'll probably all be disqualified," Freddie explained urgently. "We need to be charming."
"I can be charming!" she pushed him hard.
"Yeah…to snakes! Ow," he yelled back, rubbing his arm. "Look, if we don't do this right, none of us are going to win," he said quickly as they saw Riley walking towards them.
"Are you gonna let me do the talking?" Freddie asked as he caught her eye quickly.
"Alright, Fine." Sam grumbled. She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for the producer to approach.
Freddie made the first move. "Hello Mr, uh…. Riley."
"Smooth," Sam muttered under her breath, before Freddie nudged her with his elbow.
"Yeah, whatever kid," Riley sighed. "Britney tells me…"
"Whitney," Freddie corrected.
"Do I look like I care what her name is?" Riley sighed. "Intern Bimbo # 2 tells me you guys wanna switch partners." He said flipping through his clipboard.
"Yes." Freddie stood up straight in and attempt to seem more intimidating. "We feel that with the lack of clarification in the rules, that we should…"
"Fine," Riley cut him off, adjusting his headphones. "Just go get changed and be back at that platform in 10 minutes." He gestured over to a large standing platform that had one of the cameras pointed to the inside of the obstacle course.
"That's it?" Freddie asked shocked. "You don't care why we're changing partners or anything?"
"Look Kid," Riley rolled his eyes, bored at the conversation. "I don't care if you tap dance naked to the Star Spangled banner. I have one more week of this hell hole then I start my new job at KRAP."
"You mean that station that does the Rap Attack Playback?" Sam smiled.
"Fo Shizzle, Home Skillet! You got 10 minutes Dawgs." He threw up two fingers at them and turned around. "Peace," he yelled over his shoulder as he walked away.
Freddie turned around and smiled at Sam.
"Yeah, don't act like you did anything, Mr. Charming," Sam rolled her eyes as they headed over to change. "So how exactly do you expect to beat Gabe, anyway? You're not exactly Olympic material there Sparky."
"Gee thanks for the vote of confidence," Freddie deadpanned.
"Just saying," Sam shrugged.
"Well, I don't think I'll need to," Freddie smirked. Sam looked at him curiously. "We start in 10 minutes," he continued. "…And where is Gabe?"
"Puking his guts out!" Sam said excitedly. "Let's change clothes and meet back here to get my tickets, Frederina!"
"You mean our tickets," Freddie grumbled.
"Yeah, yeah. There's gotta be a down side to everything," Sam smirked. "Hurry up and get changed."
They changed into their KDJS tracksuits and met back out front. They rushed back up to the platform. No sign of Gabe and Alana. They saw Boomer emerge from a group of somewhat important looking people.
"Ah, there's my girl," Boomer said pointing to Sam. "Give em Hell out there Sweetheart!"
Sam gave an awkward smile back and shot him two thumbs up. A small crowd in KDJS tee shirts enveloped him again and it seemed they were talking about something urgently.
A small smile crossed Freddie's lips. "What's up?" Sam asked noticing his smile.
"They've probably just realized that Gabe and Alana aren't here." He turned and gave her a broad smile. "We are going to that concert, Baby!"
Sam gave him a quick little fist bump as the crowd around Boomer dispersed and people started getting into their places.
A burst of light hit them, as Boomer came over with a fresh Microphone in his hand. Riley seemed to be pushed aside and replaced by a big guy in a bomber jacket and baseball hat. Freddie assumed he must be the video director by the way Boomer was focusing all of his attention on the man.
A few more seconds of fidgeting and the man suddenly yelled, "Alright, we are going live in 5, 4, 3, " he silently held up fingers for the 2 and the 1, then pointed to Boomer as music started playing in the background.
"How come he didn't say the 2," Sam whispered. Freddie shrugged and turned his attention back to the DJ.
"How's everyone doing out there?" Boomer yelled. Someone waved at the audience and they returned a deafening cheer. "I'm Boomer Rossi from KDJS. We are back at the Seattle Fair for the last leg of the Rock with the Soxx Contest." The crowd let out another cheer and someone in the audience yelled out "We love you Boomer!"
"Hey, look at that," Boomer chuckled. "Sounds like I got a future ex-wife in the crowd. So there are a few things different here. If you haven't noticed, we have cameras all around the field. Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time ever, we will be streaming the contest live on . So, if you're near a computer log on right now and you can see the amazing set up we have for this evenings event."
The crowd cheered again and Sam and Freddie noticed another camera pulling in close and zooming in on their faces. As the crowd died down, Boomer turned his attention to the new camera. "The other difference is, it seems during out little break we had a shake up in the teams. Standing with me here are Freddie Benson and his new partner Sam Puckett. Say hi to the people kids!"
"Hello," Freddie said into the microphone.
"When you gonna give me my tickets," Sam asked unimpressed.
"I love this girl!" Boomer laughed and shook his head. "You might be wondering what happened to the other team," he asked into the camera. Freddie and Sam gave each other a huge knowing grin. "Well," Boomer turned to look back over his shoulder. "Here they come right now, Gabe Asher, and Alana Michaels!"
The crowd erupted into cheers as Gabe and Alana came out hand-in-hand in matching KDJS tracksuits, looking like perfect Barbie and Ken. Freddie and Sam looked at each other in shock. When the other two reached the platform, they gave each other a quick kiss, then Alana looked at them with a little smirk.
"So guys, you ready?" Boomer asked the new couple.
"Hell Yeah, we are," Gabe cheered.
"Alright," Boomer said hitting him on the shoulder. "Our next even, if you haven't guessed yet is an obstacle course," he gestured behind him. "Now there are
six tasks to this course and the first team across the finish line wins," he explained looking between them. "If you guys are ready, why don't you go take your places."
The two teams followed Boomer over to a painted yellow line on the field. The first thing that Sam noticed was a table full of pies marked off into four sections.
"What's with all the pies," Sam asked.
"That, Sam is your first challenge," he explained as he turned to the camera. "The challenge goes as follows." A video started playing a quick clip along with Boomer's explanation of the course.
On this table you will find four sections, one for each of you. Each section contains 10 pies. In one of those pies is a key that unlocks the door in front of you," he gestured to the four doors. "Past that door is a maze. You're going to make your way through the maze and out the other side. From there, you will grab one of these harnesses," he pulled out a harness to demonstrate, "and hook yourself up in it. The attendant will make sure you are strapped in. When he says ok, you're gonna climb that inflatable wall over there. When you get to the top, you may unhook yourself and slide down the other side. You guys with me so far?" They all nodded their heads. "Any questions?"
Sam raised her hand, "Are any of these pies loganberry?"
Boomer chuckled. "And a healthy appetite to boot, folks," he said as he put his arm around her shoulder. "I don't know kid, but if there's not, we'll make sure you get one before you leave here today."
"Nah, that's ok," Sam shrugged. "I don't really like loganberry.
"Ok then," Boomer said turning back to the obstacle course. "That's the first half of the course," he explained. "Moving on to the second half, when you come down the slide you'll find an alleyway with a little surprise there waiting." Boomer started grinning and nodding when he said 'little surprise'. The KDJS staff started chuckling among themselves, but no one else seemed to get the joke.
"Alright, you're going to make your way through the alley, on the other side there is a series of ropes. You're going to crawl over and under the ropes until you reach the other end. From there, you will carry your partner the remainder of the distance to the finish line. The one rule there is, the partners have to cross the line together." All of the contestants nodded their heads again. "Now, are there any other questions?"
Freddie raised his hand. "Are we allowed to help each other out?"
"As long as you go through all the obstacles and cross the finish line together, you can get there however you like," Boomer nodded. "We okay? Alright lets get started."
The four contestants took their marks at the starting line. They were each given a helmet and a pair of goggles. Once they were all strapped in, the camera got a running shot of them all on the line ready to go. "On the gun," Boomer shouted. "On your mark, Get set…" Bang went the gun and all four started in a short run to the table.
Sam dove into her first pie. She started with the Crème pies first, figuring they would be easier to feel around with her tongue. She quickly moved past the Coconut, and the Chocolate, and had just started on the Banana. She took her second bite into the Banana pie and felt something solid. She plunged her face in and came out with the key. She grabbed the key out and noticed what Gabe and Alana were doing. Gabe was on his 2nd pie, but he was biting mouthfuls and spitting them out. Alana was barely finishing her first, but she was getting so grossed out by it that she was going very slowly at it.
Sam nudged Freddie aside and dove into a cherry pie next to her. Freddie had finished off the Apple and the Peach pies, without finding the key. They suddenly heard a commotion next to them and Freddie looked up to see that Gabe had found his key and took off through the door, and Alana had moved on to her second pie. Freddie threw the empty pies aside and went for the lemon meringue. Sam was already grabbing for the Boston Crème. Failing at both of those, they each grabbed for another. Sam had already started into the pumpkin pie as Freddie grabbed the Chocolate Meringue. Within four bites Freddie's tongue hit the key and he fished it out, just as Alana started on her fourth pie.
Sam and Freddie both wiped their faces and headed for the doors. They couldn't tell where Gabe was, but they kept calling to each other throughout the maze. Gabe had already passed through the maze and was starting the climbing wall when Freddie made it through to the other end. Sam had made a wrong turn somewhere and was stuck in the middle of the maze. They could hear the crowd shout as Alana started into the maze. Freddie got into his harness, but noticed that Sam wasn't there yet. He took a few steps back toward the maze and started calling out to her.
"Sam, I'm over here," he yelled.
"Where, Dipwad?" She was quickly becoming annoyed.
"Follow the sound of my voice," he shouted. "And I really wish you'd stop calling me names. My mom, hardly lets me come over to do the show anymore because she hears the names you call me during the web cast and she's afraid it's going to cause permanent psychological damage," he scolded.
"That's because your mom is permanently psychologically damaged," Sam smiled as she came out the end of the maze.
Freddie chuckled, "you're probably right." He grabbed the harness and helped her step into it and latch the hooks. Once they were secure, they started up the wall. They were grabbing onto tiny ropes sewn into the bag. The hands were easy enough, but the footholds were harder. They were each about 7 feet up the bag when Alana came through the maze.
"Go Sam!" Freddie yelled as Alana started to put on her harness.
Sam stuck her foot in a rope hold and reached to the next rope quickly. She was able to move quicker when she wasn't keeping pace with Freddie. Freddie continued to climb, but his toes were having a harder time fitting into the ropes. When Sam finally reached the top, Freddie was still only 2/3 the way there. Alana was just under half way, but she seemed to be closing in on Freddie pretty quickly. Sam turned and grabbed Freddie's rope and helped pull him as he climbed. It quickened his pace by about 3 times and within a minute he reached the top. They quickly undid their harnesses and turned around to see Alana well past the halfway mark.
Sam grabbed Freddie's arm. "On the count of three we're going to jump into the slide, just like when Carly and I jumped off the cliff into the water last summer."
"But Sam…" Freddie said fearfully, but she had already started the count.
"One," she said as she watched Alana getting closer. "Two," she said as she started rocking on her feet. "Three! Jump Freddie!"
Freddie let out a terrified scream as they jumped off the side of the platform and onto the slide. The weight of them hitting the bag together caused the inflated bag to jump. Alana was knocked off the other side, and was quickly lowered to the ground. Once they were mostly down the slide, Freddie's terror scream gave way to a fit of laughter, and they gently plopped off the other side.
At the bottom of the slide, they could see the top of Gabe's head just over the wall of the alleyway. Freddie watched with wide eyes, as Gabe was struggling with something and a couple times completely disappeared.
"Well, come on Fredenstein," Sam dragged him. "It's not gonna get any better." They peeked into the alleyway. They could see a straight shot to the other end, but there were barrels lining the walls along the way. Freddie tentatively took a step in, but was shoved the rest if the way in by Sam. They walked through several feet together, when all of a sudden they heard, "Entrega fea del cerdo!" Two little men in colorful skin tight face masks jumped out and grabbed at them.
"Little Luchadores!" Sam shouted excitedly. Freddie wasn't as excited, seeing as one had climbed on his back and was pulling at his hair. The one that had attached himself to Sam's leg, she quickly disposed of by doing a backwards pile driver. While her guy was rubbing the dizzy out of his head, she ran over to help Freddie detach himself from his. She climbed onto one of the barrels and jumped onto the little elf, knocking him off of Freddie, and taking a chunk of hair with him. Sam had one of the wrestlers pinned and Freddie was trying to get off the ground, when the other grabbed his leg and was trying to pull him down again. Sam managed to get the one in a sleeper hold and he was out for the count. Freddie was still trying to shake off the one that had grabbed hold of his leg. Sam grabbed that one around the chest and pulled against him with all her weight until he came flying off of Freddie. Unfortunately, Freddie's pants came off too. While he was momentarily tangled up in Freddie's pants, Sam jumped over him and ran toward the boy in boxers. She pushed him out of the alleyway and onto the platform for the next obstacle. Freddie turned and was about to go back for his pants, but Sam grabbed his arm.
"Forget it, Kid." She panted. "I'm not rescuing you again." She dragged him toward the next station. They looked to see about 10 ropes stretched across a shallow trench filled with whipped cream. Gabe was already moving in an over under motion, and was two ropes from completing the task.
Sam sunk low to the ground and started to crawl under the first rope. She got halfway under and turned to see Freddie still standing there. "You gonna stand there and look at my butt all day, or are you gonna follow me?" Freddie blushed a little then bent down to follow her under the rope. "Here grab onto my jacket, that way you won't get stuck under the wrong ropes," she said as she crawled out from under one rope and headed over the next. Freddie slipped and his face landed full force into the whipped cream. The goggles covered his eyes, but he still couldn't see anything through them. He reached up to what he thought was Sam's armpit, but he heard her gasp and received a big slap across his head.
"That wasn't my jacket, Dork butt!" She yelled.
"Sorry," he mumbled almost inaudibly. He could feel his face burning so hot, he was sure the whipped cream would melt off. Sam grabbed his hand and pulled him up on the other side of the rope with her. They continued this rhythm through most of the obstacle, until they suddenly heard Gabe (who had already completed this task) yelling.
Freddie looked back to see Alana running wildly, kicking and screaming through the alleyway. The little luchadores were there, but she was flailing so much, that they really couldn't get near her. She looked like a mad woman, but she got through the alleyway untouched. She hit the platform on the other side and dove under the first rope. Sam and Freddie started to pick up their pace. They finished the last two and headed onto the grass.
Alana was making quick work of the over/under and Gabe was waiting there cheering her on. "Sam, we're not that far ahead, I don't think I can outrun him," Freddie said worriedly.
Sam grabbed Freddie's arm and flipped herself underneath it so that he was behind her with his arms over her shoulders. "Jump on," she commanded.
"What?" Freddie asked shocked. The crowd cheered as Alana dove under the last rope.
"Do it Nub!"
Freddie grabbed tighter around her neck and jumped up and wrapped his legs around her. In one quick movement, she grabbed his legs and started running. Alana came out the other side; Gabe was already turned around and waiting for her. She took a leap onto Gabe's back and slid immediately to her butt on the grass. The whipped cream, and Gabe's lack of hips had made it more slippery than they figured. Sam and Freddie were able to gain a small lead, but Gabe quickly ran over and scooped Alana up into his arms. He ran as fast as he could, quickly gaining on Sam and Freddie. The crowds were getting louder as the end was getting closer.
"Go Sam, Go!" Freddie shouted into her ear and she dug in and went as fast as her legs could carry her. She could hear Gabe coming up beside her, almost even. The finish line was right there, just a few steps more…but so was Gabe. With all the strength she could muster, Sam bent her knees and dove into the finish line. She broke the tape, just past Gabe, and she and Freddie rolled to a stop on the other side.
Sam lay there panting for a moment before Freddie went over to help her up. The crowd was loud, but they could barely be heard past the beating sound of her heart. All four of the contestants waited in silence for Boomer to come over. He gathered them all together. "Wow kids," Boomer cheered. "This was one hell of a race, and right here I have two ticket and backstage passes for…"
They all waited anxiously for him to announce the winner. Sam, who still hadn't totally caught her breath, grabbed his collar and growled, "Dude!"
A smile slowly spread across Boomer's face as he announced, "Freddie and Sam!"
Sam and Freddie both started jumping up and down. In her exuberance, Sam leaped into Freddie's arms, but he wasn't ready and he fell to the ground backwards with her landing on top of him. They were both laughing and breathing hard. Sam raised up to look at him and their eyes froze on each other for a moment…A moment that was broken when Boomer walked up to them and joked, "Whoa hold on there kids this show is PG-13. "
Sam got up and helped Freddie up. Gabe and Alana walked over and asked "No Hard Feelings?" Sam scooped a bite of whipped cream off of his slightly exposed chest.
"Nope!" she laughed. Alana looked down at Freddie's legs, and smiled, which of course made him blush.
"Let's hear it for our winners here." The crowd gave a deafening cheer. "Let's also hear it for our Little Luchadores," Boomer yelled as the four little men in masks came forward. "We have: Pequeño Diablo , El Muerto Negra, Zorro del Oro, and Le Bestio Feo." Each of the little wrestlers took a bow in front of the cheering crowd.
"That is so cool," Sam jumped excitedly. "I always wanted to have a Mexican Wrestler name."
The luchador in the gold mask stepped forward. "Si niña," he said to Sam. "How about La Cobra Azul." Sam looked a bit puzzled for a moment.
Boomer stepped forward, "Let me see if my five years in Cabo paid off, he called you The Blue Cobra, si?" he asked the wrestler, who shook his head in affirmation.
"I want one," Gabe cheered.
"How about Roboto Guapo," the wrestler nodded.
"The Handsome Robot?" Boomer questioned. Again the luchador nodded his head.
"I will call you Guepardo Loco," he said to Alana.
Boomer started to laugh, " The Crazy Cheetah, would be very accurate for that performance in the alleyway."
"What about me?" Freddie asked.
The luchador looked down at his legs. "How about El Mono sin Pantalones," he laughed.
The crowd started to laugh with him, but Freddie just grumbled, "The Monkey Without His Pants. Oh Har Har!"
"Then how about El Matadito?" The wrestler said, giving Sam his pants back.
"That's not bad," Freddie smiled. "I'd much rather be called that. El Matadito!" Freddie put his hands on his hips and thrust out his chest like a superhero.
"You do realize he pretty much just called you a nerd," Boomer chuckled.
Freddie growled in frustration as he grabbed his pants and started putting them back on again.
"Let's give it up for our losers today, Gabe and Alana!" Boomer said to the crowd. Gabe reached over and pulled Alana into a hug and kissed her forehead. "It was real close Guys." Gabe threw his hand in the air and waved to the cheering crowd as the turned to walk away.
" Now for you two," Boomer turned to Sam and Freddie. "Here are your tickets and your backstage passes." He held them up for the crowd to see. "So what are you two excited to hear tonight?"
"Not you," Sam said as she grabbed the tickets and passes from his hands. "See ya!"
Boomer chuckled as he watched them walk away. "A girl who knows what she wants. There goes another one of my future ex-wives, folks!"
"In your dreams," Sam yelled over her shoulder without looking back.
Ok, sometimes being lazy pays off. Sometimes you get these "whack on the head" inspirations out of nowhere, like the little luchadores. Thanks to Invader Johnny for calling Freddie El Matadito. Incidentally, I found a Mexican Wrestler Name Generator and just for kicks plugged in the iCarly gang's names into them. This is what came out.
Sam = Chile Misterioso (mysterious Chile)
Freddie = Huevos Rapido (quick eggs)
Carly = Super Mega Anaranjado (super mega orange)
Spencer = Chile Retardo, (hmm, nuff said)
These made me laugh, so I had to share.
Hold onto your hats kiddies! I have an interactive question for you! (Probably my last). What is a totally awesome job (or hobby) that a teen (guy) or his parents could have? Oh, and that they might be doing on a Sunday. Think big, like Circus Clowns! LOL, that would be funny. One that would make you say, aww you're so lucky! Oh, and it has nothing to do with Alana/Gabe or any of the iCarlies…they just know someone that knows someone. That's all I can say! No you can't drag it out of me!
One last thing…my goal was to finish the story before I left for vacation today. Since I don't really want to leave the story here, I failed in that mission. That means you have to wait until I get back to update. Please do not let this discourage you from leaving me a glowing (or not so glowing) review in my inbox. Just think how happy that would make me when I come back all sunburned and broke…almost like someone likes me, or something. Just remember it'll be a week before I can respond. =D