Sometimes, Coulson isn't the first person he tells. Skye is.
They're sitting on the floor of the cargo area, right after a training session. She's sitting crosslegged in front him and he's slowly unwrapping her hands. He's aware that he's staring a little too hard at her hands and he's going unnecessarily slow about it, but he enjoys the feeling of her hands in his. A part of him knows that she'll pull away from as soon as he tells her, and he just wants this one moment between them to last as long as possible. It's likely to be their last.
"Hey," she finally speaks and he can tell she's worried," Grant, what's wrong?" And that's when he knows she's really worried. She only ever calls him by his first name when she's concerned about him; the last time she did so was when he passed out from touching the Berserker staff.
Ward sucks in a breath, fully aware that its raggedy and there are tears threatening to well up in his eyes. This was a thousand times harder than his last dream where he told Coulson. While he knew this was harder because he loved Skye, he wishes since it's a dream it wouldn't feel this painful. But it is, and he can't stop himself.
Even when she hears the sob threatening to spill out of him and so she leans forward to wrap her arms around his shoulders. "Grant," she begs," Please tell me. Please."
He shakes his head. "You'll hate me," he gasps out, his voice no more than a ragged whisper.
"I can't ever hate you," she whispers back, one of her hands coming up to stroke through his hair reassuringly," Please tell me, Grant. You're scaring me."
He hates to admit it, but her hand in his hair does calm him down. Enough for him to choke out," You should be scared of me, Skye. I'm… I'm Hydra." And it all spills out after that. He's more or less stumbling over his words, in a rush to just get everything out before he wusses out. He tells her about Hydra still existing, how he was recruited by Garrett when he was just a kid, how his mission was to infiltrate SHIELD in his early twenties and how he spent the last ten years as a double spy. He tells her why he's on the plane, to find out how Coulson survived and get the information back to Garrett by any means.
While he's spilling his guts out, while he's laying his entire soul out for her perusal and judgement, she actually continues to hold him throughout it all. It surprises him, that she can stand to even touch him. He's a traitor, a monster, the man that was sent to gain their trust and betray them. And she just holds him in her arms, rubbing his back soothingly whenever the tears are close to spilling over.
"Why aren't you pulling away?" he asks her when it's all over, when they just sit there in silence for a few minutes and she doesn't say anything," Why aren't you running to Coulson and May, telling them everything I just said? You-" he stutters, actually fucking stutters," You should hate me. I betrayed you."
Skye just leans back so she can look him in the eye, but keeps her arms wrapped loosely around him. Her face is deadly serious as she asks him," Why are you telling me all of this, Grant?" There she goes using his first name and that just confuses him more. Shouldn't he at the very least be back to 'Ward'? 'Grant' is too affectionate, too endearing.
But he at least owes her the truth. "Because I love you," he admits," I can't lie to you anymore, Skye. I fell in love and I wasn't supposed to, and now I'm compromised."
He screws his eyes shut and a few tears finally fall. As soon as he does, he feels her forehead press against his own and he jerks so hard he dislodges their connection. When his eyes snap open, her own eyes are watering. "You didn't betray us," she tells him," You told me the truth, you risked everything because you couldn't lie anymore."
He doesn't understand. "I told you I can never hate you, Grant," she repeats," I love you too, you idiot, former double agent and all. Emphasis on the former part.
He's not quite clear on who's idea it is in the first place. Maybe it's his, because he knows all too well what Garrett will do once he discovers Ward's compromised. He already tried to have Skye killed just to motivate Coulson to find the GH-325 drug; he'll come to kill her and Ward himself if he finds out Hydra's been revealed early. But when he suggests they run away, she's quick to agree. While Ward's terrified of Garrett and what he'll do in retaliation, he wonders if she only agrees because she's worried what SHIELD will do to him.
They sneak out the next time they land (in a remote base in Italy) in the dark of night when almost everyone is sleeping or too tired to notice two agents sneaking off base. They don't bother packing anything more than a few things to remember the team by; they can restock on anything they need later.
All they leave behind is a notebook, every page filled with words and left on Skye's bed. The first part is filled with letters from both of them, written to each member of the team. Ward assumes Skye's letters explain why she left with him, but he didn't dare read them. His own letter are apologizing to everyone; his longest letter is to Coulson, in which he explains his former double agent status and how he became Hydra. He finishes his letter promising that he sincerely loves Skye, and she's the reason why he decided to turn his back on Hydra, and for the rest of his life he'll protect Skye and keep her safe. The rest of the notebook was filled by Ward, filled with everything he ever knew about Hydra and all that he's learned under Garrett's tutorage. He only knew of a few other Hydra agents, mostly the ones that got him into the SHIELD despite his criminal background. Namely, Ward knew about Agent Sitwell.
So he writes all this down for Coulson, along with all of Garrett's safehouses all around the world, including his favorite in Havana, Cuba. Ward hesitates a moment, debating if he should write down all of his own safe houses. He's not sure if Garrett knows about all of them, only a few for sure. But he and Skye are going to need those safe houses if they're to be a step ahead of Coulson who will undoubtedly come after them. With that in mind, he decides not to write them down; it's better to be safe than sorry.
"You did good, Ward," Skye tells him when he lays the notebook down her bed. She's at his side -miraculously- and resting her head on his shoulder, both of them staring at that notebook.
He shrugs," Doesn't mean I am good." He hears her sigh next to him and he's sure she's going to do everything she can to make him change his mind. A part of him is looking forward to seeing her try, and another part sincerely hopes she succeeds.
In the end, they're holding hands when they leave, walking side by side as they take their first steps out of the SHIELD base. Followed by forever.
It was seven months later in a cozy apartment in Venice, when Skye came running out of the bedroom with her phone. "Grant! Grant!" she called excitedly, and he barely had time to set his coffee down before she launched into his arms.
"Hey!" he locked his arms around her, trying to contain her eagerness and all the bouncing that came with it, but grinned down at her regardless," What's got you so excited?" She squirmed in his arms, attempting to free one of her own so that she could shove her phone under his nose.
"Just look at this!" she cooed happily. She giggled when Ward had to cross his eyes in order to even look at her phone.
He just stared at it in confusion. "It's the phone I got for you in Germany?" he asked, wondering why she was so excited about it. She's had it for five months but he's never seen her this exuberant about it before.
"No, you idiot," she berated him and -thankfully- pulled the phone back far enough so he could see it without having to cross his eyes," It's Coulson!"
Ahh, now that he could focus he did see Coulson portrayed on the phone, the video paused on what was no doubt a news anchoring. Then the implications finally settled in. "Wait, what?" Grant's eyes widened and he snatched the phone out of her hand," Is this…" He eyed the subtitle with disbelief and awe.
"He did it!" Skye was so ecstatic that she was practically jumping up and down in his grasp. "Watch it, watch it, watch it!" she commanded, moving and shoving his arm -he was too busy staring at the phone to really resist- so that it was wrapped around her waist instead of constricting her movements. By the time she was comfortable, she was sidled under his chin where both of them could see the tiny screen.
Ward nervously pressed play.
"-Agent Phillip J. Coulson, of SHIELD," the pretty newswoman stated," has just announced the second demise of the World War II terrorist organization, Hydra. But tell me, Agent, I thought that Hydra had been disbanded permanently in 1944 when Captain America defeated its founder, Johann Schmidt."
Coulson nodded sympathetically at her, then explained," We recently discovered that Hydra hadn't disbanded entirely, it had simply gone underground and focused mainly on espionage for the past 70 years. Luckily, we found them before they could do any real damage."
"Is it true that they were hiding in your own organization?" the reporter pressed, and it was evident she was a little judgmental on the point," I mean, SHIELD is supposedly the most elite spy organization in the world, even more infamous than the CIA. How was it possible for a terrorist organization to hide right under your nose for so many years? You say they haven't done any 'real damage' but how do you know? You weren't aware of their existence for almost a century."
Coulson just shrugged and Skye had to laugh at how nonchalant he was being when faced with a nosy reporter. "Their agents were good," he simply said," Our agents are better. In the end, it only took two Agents of SHIELD to start the process of cleaning house. If it weren't for those two, Hydra would've gotten away with much more."
"Where are these two agents?" she asked,"How about we have an interview with them and find out the full story?"
He just smiled knowingly," I'm afraid Agents Skye and Ward are unavailable at the moment; they've had to go off the books recently." Then, as if knowing they'd be watching, he turned to directly face the camera and with a serious face he announced," We're still waiting for them to come to their senses and come home. We're still a team, and those two will always be a part of it."
And with that, he thanked the reporter for her time and walked off screen, ignoring the woman's calls that the interview wasn't finished yet. But Skye and Ward didn't bother watching the rest, and silently he placed the phone down on the counter.
After a long moment, Skye turned around in his arms so that she was pressed against his chest and looking up at him. "It's been seven months, Grant," she said quietly. Seven months since they left, seven months since SHIELD started cleaning house, seven months since they've seen their friends. But Ward wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready to face them again. Not now that they knew the truth, knew that he had been a traitor from the very beginning. He was already unbelievably lucky that Skye stayed with him, loved him even; he couldn't be selfish enough to hope that maybe the rest of the team would take him back.
Besides, they had their own life now, here in Venice. It was a quiet city, beautiful and with an infinite amount of escape routes. Was Ward ready to give that all up just to go back?
As if understanding his dilemna, Skye leaned up on her tiptoes so she could press a kiss against his lips. He barely responded, distracted by his thoughts as he was. But it was enough to at least get his attention and she watched as his big dark eyes blinked slowly at her. "This can still be our home, Grant," she whispered," But they're still our family. We can't shut them out forever."
"I'm not saying we go back to being agents," she amended," But maybe… think about maybe inviting them to dinner?"
He blinked at her. Dinner… Yeah, he could do that. Until, that is…
"May's going to kill me," he groaned.