Author's Note: I do not own Twilight. Twilight and all of the characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

THANK YOU to IWonderWhatIShouldBeCalled, immortalroxtar, CloudyNight, and emmettlover4everandalways for reviewing the last chapter! Think we can hit FIFTY reviews by the end of this one?

chapter ten

august 18th, 2013

-oOo-

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark

-Evanescence, Bring Me to Life

It had been a week since I had woken up from my transformation, and things seemed to be getting back to normal… well, as normal as things could be around here. Alice ordered the new furniture for my room, and it came merely days later. Now I had a new daybed, two new bean bag chairs, a flat screen TV with its own TV stand, and a lantern-like floor lamp. We got rid of the bed and the futon, but we kept the black desk and the nightstands. The room had the same color theme, which made me very happy.

My memory was almost back to the way it was. Thanks to the help of the family and other various objects throughout the house, I could remember just about everything that's happened since I met them. I do vaguely remember Kari and Emi and some of the fun times we had together, but most of my childhood was a blur. I don't even think it was worth remembering.

Since a week had past, Bella and Nessie were coming back home today. I had been hunting every day, at least three times a day, so that my thirst would be in control when Nessie got back. I did not want to hurt her.

My eyes were still red, but Carlisle assured me that some small gold flecks would show in them within the next month or two. I still hated looking in the mirror and seeing those eyes, so I only looked in the mirror when I really needed to.

It was around noon when I was sitting in my room, flipping through TV channels. I heard footsteps approaching the door to my bedroom. From the scent I detected, I believed it was Parker. I was starting to identify my family members by their scents, thanks to my now enhanced sense of smell. Parker smelt like cinnamon, and it almost took my breath away. It was what I was smelling now, which made me know it was him.

"Come in," I said, just as Parker began to knock.

He opened the door and quickly sat down in the vacant bean bag chair. "Hi."

I turned off the TV, and turned to look at him.

"Hi," I said in the same tone.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Edward told me that Nessie and Bella should be back in a half an hour or so. We should go on one last hunt, just to be safe."

"You're probably right," I said, standing up from my seat.

I took down three deer during my hunt as a precaution. I wanted to as prepared as possible for when Nessie arrived. Alice had reminded me that she could not see Nessie in her visions, so we all had to be extremely careful.

Parker and I took our time getting back to the house, and I could hear a car in the distance that sounded like it was coming close.

"I think they're back," I told Parker.

"I think you're right," he replied.

I took a deep, unnecessary breath.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"I think so," I sighed.

He grabbed my hand and we ran the rest of the way home. I made sure I ran at Parker's pace so I wouldn't be pulling him along.

When we entered from the doors, I could hear chatter coming from the living room. Parker grabbed my arm and we slowly walked towards the room.

When the living room was in view, a bronze-haired girl stood up from the couch and turned to look at me. My nostrils flared, and the most mouth-watering scent hit me like a bullet train. All I could hear was the fluttering of a rapid heartbeat, and my mouth pooled with venom. I was so focused on getting to the sweet, warm blood flowing beneath that girl's skin. No… she… that girl… had a name… I was forgetting everything, but I could not forget that my throat was burning.

Things moved slowly then.

I broke free from Parker's grip and ran towards the girl. The smile she had for me faded away into a look of pure terror. A brunette ran towards her, grabbed her, and darted off into the opposite direction. Suddenly I hated that brunette. I hated her with a passion.

I began to chase them, but I was grabbed by two males who pinned me to the ground. I thrashed violently, wanting to be rid of their iron grasps. This wasn't fair. I snarled and hissed, trying desperately to get free. My vision was tinted with red, as I was infuriated. The faces of larger, brown-haired vampire and the sandy-blonde haired vampire stared down at me. I hated them, too! I wanted to kill them. I wanted to rip them to pieces so I could get to the girl.

"I'm so sorry!" a bell-like voice cried out, sending everything back into normal time. "I wasn't able to see this! I'm sorry!"

Wait…

It was Alice's voice.

The two vampires pinning me down were Emmett and Jasper.

I got mad at Bella.

I almost attacked Nessie.

Dear God… what have I done?

I immediately stopped thrashing under Emmett and Jasper's grip. I froze and closed my eyes. I'm a monster… a monster.

I started shaking with dry sobs. A monster… I'm a monster.

"Alex?" Carlisle asked. Hmm, I didn't think he was here. God, of course he's here. I was meeting someone with blood for the first time.

Look how well that turned out.

"You can let her go," Alice murmured.

Emmett and Jasper slowly released me. Nessie was probably very far away by now… they had no reason to doubt Alice.

I stood up and looked around at everyone. They looked at me with pure pity. Bella and Nessie were gone, of course, and Edward was not there. He probably went out after them.

I don't think they would forgive me for almost killing their daughter. I don't even think I could forgive myself.

Esme was closer to me than I thought, and she reached her hand out towards me. I ran upstairs before she could even get close.

I opened my door and slammed it so hard behind me that cracks formed in it. I growled, and then realized I had still been gripping the door knob. In my frustration, I ended up squishing the metal into an oddly shaped lump. I growled again, and ran towards the opposite side of the room. As I did so, I passed the mirror.

I saw my eyes. My red eyes. The eyes of a monster. A monster that almost killed someone she loves.

"Damn eyes!" I screamed.

Out of pure rage, I threw my fist forward. It collided with the mirror and…

The mirror shattered, sending shards of glass to the floor.

I felt like I should go somewhere dark, somewhere far away with no one around. That way, I couldn't hurt anyone. Red tinted my vision again, and I heard Alice run into the room.

"Alex, Alex, it's okay!" she yelled, grabbing my shoulders.

"Let me go!" I shouted. I tried to shove her to get her off of me, but that shove sent her flying to the floor. She let out a cry of pain when she hit the ground.

I looked down at her, and then everything just came crumbling down. I sunk down on my knees in agony.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

She sat up and moved her way towards me, wrapping her arms around me once again, but this time I did not throw her off. I merely collapsed in her arms.

"I'm a monster," I moaned.

"No you're not-"

"Yes I am!" I shouted. "Don't you see? I almost killed Nessie! I threw Parker off of me, wanted to attack Bella because she took Nessie, and had murderous thoughts about Emmett and Jasper! All because of the blood! I'm a monster! A MONSTER!"

I began to shake violently and dry sob again.

Alice started stroking my hair, and all of the sudden I started to calm down. The sobbing stopped. My shaking progressively ended.

I looked up, and Jasper was standing in the doorway.

"Thank you… and I'm sorry," I whispered.

He nodded once.

"If anyone is going to understand what you are going through, it's Jasper," Alice said to me.

I looked up at her face. "I'm really sorry, Alice. I didn't mean to knock you to the floor-"

She shushed me. "There is no need to apologize. You were going through a lot… emotionally. I understand."

I sighed. "Bella and Edward are going to hate me. Nessie will be terrified of me."

"They are not going to hate you," Alice muttered. "And Nessie is very smart. She knows what is going on, and she will not be scared of you. Trust me."

She tapped her temple with her finger.

I moved from her arms and stood up. Jasper was still in the doorway.

I hung my head. "I think I'm going to stay in my room… for a while."

"Alex, you don't need to hide," Alice said.

I walked towards my easel so I wouldn't be facing her.

"Come back downstairs, Alex," she said.

I shook my head. "I just want to be alone."

"Maybe it would be best if we let her be, Alice," Jasper said. "Give her some time to cool down."

I clenched my fists. He was making it seem like I was unstable… and I'm not saying that I disagreed with him. I felt like I was unstable.

Alice didn't say anything, but I heard her walk over to Jasper. She slowly shut the bedroom door, and I heard their footsteps trail down the hallway.

I sat down in front of my easel and wrapped my arms around my knees. I don't know how long I sat like that, but then there was a knock on the door.

"Alex, sweetheart, may I come in?"

It was Esme.

"I'm sorry, Esme. I just want to be alone," I whispered, knowing full well that she could hear me.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk?" she asked.

"I just want to be alone," I repeated.

Esme was quiet for a moment. "Well, if that's how you feel. I'll be downstairs if you need me."

"Okay," I whispered.

"Oh, and Alex?"

"Yes?" I asked.

"You will have to come out of there eventually. You need to hunt," she said.

I didn't answer her, and she had nothing else to say as she walked away from my room.

I sighed as I stood up from the floor. I just stared at the easel for a moment, before I grabbed my sketchbook and a pencil and made my way to my daybed.

I sat down and flipped to the next clean page. If anything, this would be a way to vent my frustration… by drawing. I started by sketching two eyes at the top of the page, and then drew a broken heart below it. My eyes and my heart.

I let out an unnecessary breath and laid my sketchbook beside me. The picture needed color, so I quickly grabbed a red colored pencil to color in the irises of the eyes and the heart.

I flipped between the sketch of the fish and the sketch of the eyes and heart. My difference in mood was easily noticeable between the two drawings.

I paced around my room a few times. I didn't want to leave and face everyone yet, but I wasn't sure what to do with myself otherwise. Wandering into my closet, I ran my hand along my clothes until I came upon my dresser. A high-tech camera, the one I remember getting as a Christmas present from Rose and Emmett, sat upon it. I pressed the power button, and took a quick shot of my clothes hanging next to me.

I darted out into my room and took a picture of the new furniture layout, then dashed over to my easel and snapped a photo.

I lightly tossed the camera back and forth between my hands, wanting to see my photos off the camera. I remembered that Carlisle had a photo printer in his study, so I figured I would make my way in there.

To make it go unnoticed that I was finally leaving my room, I quietly opened my door and tip-toed down the hallway that led to my bedroom door from the main hallway. The door to Carlisle's study was right across the hall. I turned the knob and quietly went inside, and lucky for me Carlisle was not in there. It was late, so he was either working a night shift at the hospital or out hunting.

I walked across the room, headed for the bookshelf containing the photo printer, when I passed a chess set. I looked back, and it triggered the memory of Parker bringing the same one in my room on my birthday to try to teach me how to play. Instead of going to the printer, I turned around and ran my fingers along the smooth wood of the board. The box for the pieces sat next to it, and it gave me an idea for a picture I could take.

The chess board was black and white, so I grabbed a king and an opposite-colored pawn. I placed the king in its starting point on the board, then placed the pawn two spaces in front of it. I crouched down so I was eye-level with the board and the table it was sitting on and snapped a picture.

I ran over to the printer and hooked up my camera. After about seven minutes, all four photos I had taken were printed out. I quietly made my way back to my room, and luckily I didn't encounter any of my family members on the way.

I grabbed my sketchbook and a black colored pencil, and then threw them on my daybed with the photos. I needed some tape or glue, so I looked on my desk where I found a roll of double-sided tape. Perfect.

Flipping to another blank page in my sketchbook, I wrote GAME ON on the top of the page in black. Using the tape, I placed the photo in the middle of the page.

I stared at the page for a moment, trying to think of something to write below the picture. Then, an idea came to me.

THE POWER-HUNGRY KING DESIRES THE PAWN. HE WANTS IT FOR HIMSELF… HE WANTS IT TO BE HIS PAWN. WHEN HE CAPTURES IT, WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?

-oOo-

I've put up some Coveted Girl photos on my profile if you would like to check them out! Also, if you guys are looking for another FanFiction to read, check out Eliza Russell's story Hold My Hand! It's just getting started, but from the looks of it, it seems to have a lot of potential. It is an Esme/Carlisle/OC story, and I think you'll like little Lily… Check it out!

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