Chapter 10: Poor Decisions

Beep - Beep - Beep

Qui-Gon Jinn sat in a chair in one of the rooms in the Halls of Healing. He had volunteered, mostly to give himself something to do, to watch over their comatose charge after a nasty episode not to long ago. He glanced over at the sleeping Revan tied to a horde of monitoring equipment. The man had settled back into his normal state, but the healers wanted someone with him at all times. Qui-Gon could admit, he understood why. He had felt it, the moment the Dark Side started rippling out of the man. It had been a sudden onslaught that had sent him into cardiac arrest and the healers scrambling to get him stable.

And they had no clue why.

Or at least, anyone who wasn't a little green troll didn't. Yoda had come during the episode, watched, muttered something about the darkness not being Revan's own, and left after he stabilized. Qui-Gon didn't know what to make of it. So here he sat, watching and waiting.

It wasn't like he had anything else to do anymore, not after...

His thoughts trailed off before he sighed and leaned down to put his head in his hands. "Oh Obi-Wan... how could I have been so foolish?"

Always so caught up within the moment, he didn't see the ramifications of his actions until it was to late, how much he had damaged their relationship, until the young man had finally exploded at him. He had practically abandoned Obi-Wan for Anakin. Even worse in Obi-Wan's mind was that he had then 'abandoned' Anakin to Meetra...

Do we truly mean nothing to you Qui-Gon? That you pick us up, your pathetic lifeforms, and then cast us aside when it's convenient to you? I could have handled it if you had taken him in, but to just cast him off, just like that, after all the effort you went through, after casting me off as well? It's deplorable, and to be honest, I'm glad he's gone, he doesn't have to suffer under your teachings!

Qui-Gon let out a ragged breath and sat up. "I'm an old fool, I truly am."

Now Obi-Wan was off purposefully alone preparing his trials, soon to be a Knight, one who would want nothing to do with his old master. And Qui-Gon? He remained here, alone.

"I never should have taken on another padawan," muttered Qui-Gon, "I always fail them."

"I question that my old padawan," came a stoic and dreadfully familiar voice, "Feemor has proven himself quite well since he became a knight, not that you would know having cast off the poor boy."

Qui-Gon stiffened and tensely looked to the door, sighting someone he really didn't want to deal with right now, or ever, standing in the doorway. "Master Dooku, to what do I owe the displeasure?"

His old Master took a moment to look him over before scowling. "You were in a mission that involved the Sith, can your old Master not express concern and check on his old Padawan?"

"I am fine," Qui-Gon stiffly answered.

Dooku slowly and dramatically raised an eyebrow. "Fine are you? Sitting here hiding in the Halls of Healing brooding about failing your Padawans? That is anything but fine. Force, I haven't seen you in such a pitiful state since Tahl passed."

Qui-Gon scowled right back at him. "Not that you were there for anything but a brief 'I'm sorry for your loss, but you should have known better', between your missions."

Dooku slowly shook his head. "Time and again I try to advise you Qui-Gon, but never does my words break through that thick skull of yours."

Force, it was like his apprenticeship all over again, and every time they met after. While he had always, and would always respect his former Master, it was difficult to deal with how apathetic he could be. That ever so eloquent cultured voice delivering harsh rebuke from an cold expressionless face. And his advice always left much to be desired...

Old advice, best left buried and forgotten, rang through Qui-Gon's mind: 'Betrayal is part of life, Qui-Gon, and we can't always see it coming.'

"Perhaps," began Qui-Gon, growing icy, "You should consider how you deliver your words."

Dooku had the audacity to look offended. "I always consider my words carefully, perhaps you should consider how you interpret them."

"I interpret them as cruel words from a callous old man who wants to make others as bitter as he is," spat Qui-Gon.

Dooku stiffened and went completely silent. He stared at Qui-Gon for a time, hurt displaying across his usually controlled face.

Finally, he offered a faint, "I see."

For a moment, Dooku seemed every inch his age, perhaps even double it, his voice brittle. "I will leave you to your troubles then, I won't bother you ever again."

For a brief moment, as Dooku turned to leave, Qui-Gon felt guilty. Despite their distance and shaky relationship, he hadn't needed to be cruel to a man who thought he was helping in his own way. However, Qui-Gon didn't voice an apology, and didn't stop Dooku from leaving. He had his own issues to deal with. He moved to sit back down before freezing as an unfamiliar Force Signature brushed against his mind.

Don't make the same mistake you did with your Padawan... bring him back... or lose your Master forever...

Qui-Gon blinked a few times, confused and bewildered. Whose signature was that? And how did they just communicate like that? It felt like it was everywhere and nowhere at once. He blinked again as he registered the words, and his face paled, aghast. Oh Force he had done it again, hadn't he? Driving away anyone who meant anything to him. Just like Feemor, just like Xanatos, just like Obi-Wan...

Would he ever learn?

Qui-Gon was a bit undignified as he scrambled out of the room and turned his head, spotting his Master a ways down the hall. His words froze in his mouth as he gazed on the old man. Force, he could feel the effect his words had on the old man. There was pain all over his signature, and threads of darkness weaving there way in, interweaving with what was already there. Did his words, his opinion, really mean that much to Dooku to have hurt him so? It was just like Xanatos, he was driving his Master to darkness.

No.

Not again.

"Master Dooku," called out Qui-Gon rather loudly, drawing the eyes of a number of healers and passing Jedi.

The old man paused and half turned his head, bracing himself as if expected further and public rebuke.

"I... apologize," Qui-Gon managed to get out, shoving away his wounded pride over so public a declaration, "My words were brash, cruel, and without thought. I have been going through a difficult time and should not have taken it out on you. If you are willing, we could continue our conversation inside."

Dooku turned to full on stare at Qui-Gon, his face that stoic featureless mask he knew so well. Yet Qui-Gon could feel the man abruptly pull himself together in an instant, masking his leaking aura under his normal discipline. Dooku nodded curtly, and followed Qui-Gon back into Revan's ward. They sat down on opposing sides of the room, staring at each other awkwardly.

Dooku was a skilled word-weaver, however at times the man was not afraid to be heavily blunt. "Do you truly think that low of me Qui-Gon? Is that the Force damned honest way you think of me?"

Oh, the pain was gone, the anger had taken it's place. This was going to be a nightmare. Force he should have just let the man go.

"It's how you've come off for a long time," said Qui-Gon softly, "I know better, but sometimes, it's hard to remember that you do actually feel under that mask you wear on your face."

"A Jedi," said Dooku thinly, "Must keep a tight and careful control of their emotions. Beyond the dangers of the Dark Side, betraying any of what you feel may..."

"Lead to betrayal in turn," said Qui-Gon with a sigh, "I remember your lessons Master, as much as I disagree with them. Not everyone is Lorian Nod, nor should they be treated that way."

Dooku glared at him with a dangerous glint in his eyes that made most people wither and slink away offering panicked apologies.

Qui-Gon had learned to shrug off that glare when he was fourteen. "It's true and you know it."

Dooku slowly shook his head. "I would have thought you would have more tact then that my old padawan. Some subjects are best left buried."

"Even when they effect your every waking interaction with others and your entire thought process?" prodded Qui-Gon.

"Since when did you become a Mind Healer?" jabbed Dooku.

"Since I no longer resided in the padawan portion of the unit we used to live in," countered Qui-Gon, "Bringing that up when I was still your padawan would have been suicide."

"You will always be my padawan Qui-Gon Jinn," said Dooku, huffing slightly, "And it is still suicide."

The two men stared each other down before they both started chuckling softly, tension slowly leaking out of the room.

Dooku sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "Qui-Gon, what happened on the mission?"

Clever, to divert attention away from himself, but Qui-Gon would allow it. He had badly overstepped himself mere minutes ago. It was an easy story to tell, up until the end of their time on Tatooine. Then his voice trailed off, and he knew uncertainty was ringing from him in the Force judging from the look Dooku was giving him.

"What is it my old Padawan?" asked Dooku.

Qui-Gon hesitated. "Something the Council has given me express orders not to discuss."

A time traveling Jedi Exile and one of the few who could be called a redeemed Sith Lord were a tightly controlled secret.

There was a heavy, resigned sigh from his old Master. "I see."

Qui-Gon gave a self-depreciating chuckle. "It's not something you'd believe anyway. I can sometimes hardly believe it myself."

In hindsight, he should have known better than to open his mouth.

A calculating look crossed Dooku's face. "Judging by the timetable you've been giving me, does whatever the Council does not wish you to discuss coincide with that unusual disturbance in the Force that happened not so long ago?"

Damn, he forgot how quickly Dooku could piece things together with so little to go on and only coincidental timing to go by. "It might. I'm surprised you felt it."

"Qui-Gon, I don't think there is a single Force sensitive that didn't feel it," chided Dooku, before a glint entered his eye, "Now I won't press you to reveal what happened..."

"...but you wouldn't complain if I did," finished Qui-Gon.

There was a small smirk on Dooku's face. "No, I wouldn't, and not a soul would hear of it."

Force, he almost felt like his old Master was guilt tripping him into it. Not that he actually was, it was more Qui-Gon's own guilt nagging at him. He wanted to offer Dooku something, anything, more than a few words of apology that were not nearly enough for the corrosive bile he had flung his way. Something to get back into his good graces, something to give him someone to hold onto when he had driven everyone else away.

"Do you believe in time travel?" asked Qui-Gon.

Dooku's face went so utterly blank for a moment Qui-Gon had to resist the urge to laugh. "You're right, it's not something I would believe..."

Dooku licked his lips. "Yet, that disturbance, the feeling that something 'did not belong here'..."

Dooku crossed his arms. "Alright, I'm listing, as an neutral, impassive observer."

"Aren't you always?" questioned Qui-Gon, eyebrow half raised.

Dooku huffed. "Oh get on with it boy."

Qui-Gon sighed. "I trust you know your history. Two people were apparently flung here from roughly four thousand years in the past. One was the Jedi Exile Meetra Surik."

Dooku raised an eyebrow.

Qui-Gon turned his head to look at the comatose patient. "The other, him, was Revan."

Utter silence.

He turned his head back and watched his old Master silently. The man had a perfect Sabaac face, and Qui-Gon could feel a soft brush to his mental shields, which he dropped, allowing Dooku to sample for the truth. When he did, he watched all the air leave the older man's lungs.

"You are serious," he said, it was not a question.

"Yes," answered Qui-Gon.

"Force," whispered Dooku as he turned to look at Revan, "Of all the things for the disturbance had been... time travel? No, some random person discovering time travel would be an acceptable thing compared to those two specifically."

"Is something wrong with that?" asked Qui-Gon.

Dooku leveled a heavy stare that made Qui-Gon twitch uncomfortably. "My Padawan, you have no idea the ramifications of what this means. Not a clue. Those two warped the fate of the galaxy around them in their own time. For them to have been brought here? When the Sith have revealed their survival?"

Dooku reached a hand up to rub his forehead. "Force, what are we in for? Another galaxy wide war? Another schism? Another Jedi Purge?"

Qui-Gon's eyes went slightly wide at that. He had not given their purpose here much thought to be frank. Meetra had seemed like an excellent candidate for training the Chosen One, but he had not dwelt on why the Force might have brought them here otherwise. Always caught up in the moment, sometimes his affinity for the Living Force could be a blinding burden.

"That... hadn't crossed my mind," murmured Qui-Gon.

Dooku scoffed. "Obviously not."

The old man seemed his age again. "Force, this leaves me with much to dwell on..."

He made a motion with his hand. "Continue, what left you in here brooding about failing your padawan?"

Qui-Gon went silent for a moment, shame bleeding out of him, before he softly spoke of the council meeting, of being more than willing to brush off Obi-Wan for Anakin, and then passing the boy off to Meetra. Of his and Obi-Wan's angry encounter back in their quarters not so long ago. When he finished, he sat there, awaiting what he was sure to be a viscous and well deserved rebuke from his master.

Instead, Dooku sighed wearily. "We're both old fools aren't we? Doomed to alienate those we care for."

Qui-Gon chuckled without humor. "I suppose we are."

"We're a mess the both of us," mused Dooku, "Me and Komari, you and I, you and Xanatos, you and Obi-Wan."

They both grew quiet, united in their failures, until a chime of a comlink sounded; Dooku fished his out and scowled at it. "Right, I have a meeting with Damask."

Qui-Gon wrinkled his nose with distaste. "Him and Palpatine again?"

Dooku raised an eyebrow. "Why my old padawan, is that a dislike aimed towards our esteemed Chancellor?"

"Wouldn't dream of it," deflected Qui-Gon.

They both showed a hint of an amused smile before Dooku's broke off, a frown on his face. "Actually, it's been a rather curious development that's been going around the political circles. Palpatine and Damask used to be close friends, now? It's as if the moment Palpatine became Chancellor, their friendship eroded and broke. The barely restrained hostility between the two when they briefly met in the senate dome yesterday was... palpable."

"Curious," said Qui-Gon, tilting his head to hear a whisper of the Force.

This was important. He did not know why, but it was. But the choice was up to him. The Force did not urge him one way or another, to involve himself or not, with what was going on. Just that this upcoming meeting was going to leave a heavy impact on both Dooku and the Galaxy for decades, centuries, perhaps even millennium to come. Qui-Gon struggled with the decision for a moment before deciding he had cut enough people off. He would help his Master in whatever was to come.

"Perhaps we should investigate?" offered Qui-Gon.

Dooku was taken aback. "You would willingly involve yourself in a potential political debacle?"

"No, I would willingly help you involve yourself in it," said Qui-Gon, an amused smirk on his face.

There was a faint fondness in Dooku's eyes and voice. "Just like old times my old padawan."

"Like old times indeed," said Qui-Gon, rising to his feet.

With that, the two of them left the room. If Qui-Gon had turned around, he might have seen a faint blue outline, almost like a ghost, standing next to Revan's bed, a mirror image of the comatose man. He might have seen the uncertainty dwelling in those weakened ghostly eyes, wondering if directing Qui-Gon back to his old Master had been the right decision to make, or if he had just made things catastrophically worse...

Obi-Wan Kenobi was irritated. He had enough on his plate dealing with the aftermath of his Master's cruel stunt, preparing for the trials he personally did not feel ready to partake in. He did not need to get summoned into the Chancellor's office. If the man had wanted to thank him, he could have just sent a message. Damn politicians... probably wanted to make this into a PR stunt or something.

No, no, such thoughts were rude, and unbecoming of a Jedi.

He schooled his face, released his immense frustration into the Force, and walked into the Chancellor's office.

The older man looked up from his desk and gave him a warm smile. "Ah, welcome Master Kenobi, I was hoping you would have time to spare for an old man."

Obi-Wan gave him a brief forced smile. "A Jedi will always have time for the Chancellor, and Padawan Kenobi will do, I haven't even made knight yet."

Palpatine seemed amused. "Ah, the humbleness of the Jedi certainly isn't understated."

Obi-Wan gave the man a self-depreciating smile. "It's said to be a virtue."

"I suppose, but I do hope," began the Chancellor, "You would allow your humility to slide for a brief moment to accept my thanks for your heroic actions in helping to save my planet from the Trade Federation."

Obi-Wan couldn't help it, he sighed and allowed out a, "You're welcome, I was glad to be of service."

The Chancellor gave him a brief smile before curiously looking over the Padawan's shoulder. "Though, I was hoping to thank your Master as well, the invitation was for both of you."

Obi-Wan couldn't help but stiffen, the Force rippling around him. "Master Jinn is currently offering his services in the Halls of Healing last I heard."

Palpatine looked at him, a strange gleam in his eye. "Perhaps I overstep my bounds my boy, but is everything alright? You grew... tense... when I mentioned your master."

"Nothing to be concerned about," Obi-Wan forced out in a strained voice, "Just a... misunderstanding between the two of us."

The Chancellor leveled an unimpressed look at Obi-Wan and walked over, placing a hand on his shoulder. "My boy, I am a politician. I am, by design, excellent in picking up bodily cues. You, are giving off at least ten different hints of distress, extreme distress. This is alarming especially in considering you have the training of a Jedi."

Obi-Wan couldn't muster up the strength to argue, for some reason, he felt like all the strength to fight was leaving him. His legs even felt wobbly.

"Come," said the Chancellor in a strange soothing enticing voice as he directed Obi-Wan to a chair, "Sit."

The Chancellor walked around his desk and sat back down in his chair. "I will not let a champion of my people suffer so, what troubles you my boy?"

Obi-Wan's throat felt unusually dry. His head was pounding, whispers in his ear. He didn't understand it, how muddled he felt for a moment. He felt... a desire... a compulsion almost... to confess his deepest darkest fears to the man, one that had already come to pass. Wouldn't it be better to just get it out with? To someone on his side? Rather than a mind healer that he didn't want to see who would always poke and prod and remain so infuriatingly neutral? Wouldn't it be better to unburden himself on such a caring, wise old man?

He was momentarily shocked when it slipped out his lips. "Qui-Gon abandoned me."

There was a look of shock, and then sadness on the older man's face. "How? Why?"

And then any emotional control was gone. "In front of the entire Council, for a new potential padawan."

Palpatine looked mortified. "The entire Council?"

Obi-Wan nodded and then couldn't help but spit out, "He then proceeded to go an abandon the new potential padawn to another Jedi as well."

A hint of disgust showed on Palpatine's face. "Perhaps I have grossly misjudged Master Jinn."

"Maybe so did I," said Obi-Wan softly, wearily, painfully.

Sympathy bled across the old man's face. "My condolences my boy. I dare say you certainly will be a better Jedi than he was despite his teachings, and not repeat his mistakes."

"I would never abandon a padawan of mine," spat Obi-Wan viciously, "I know what it's like, to sit day in and day out, hoping and praying for a Master to take you and save you from being dismissed and sent to the Agricorps. Once you quench that fear, another one rises, of not being good enough for your master, of failing them and being renounced as a padawan. There are not words to describe what that moment was like. It was just a few words, so quickly forgotten when followed by the rest, but for me, it was a horrific eternity to wonder what I had done wrong."

"My boy," said the Chancellor in a tone that demanded his focus, "You. Did. Nothing. Wrong."

The man had such charisma and conviction in his voice, Obi-Wan couldn't help but relax a little and hope deep down it was true.

"You are not beholden to Master Jinn's mistakes," chided Palpatine, "If he was so foolish to cast aside a remarkable young man like you, then pox on him."

Obi-Wan couldn't help but gawk a little. He had exploded at Qui-Gon early, but that had been a brief lapse of control, an emotional response. Palpatine just flat out said it and meant it. He could feel it from the man, he thought Qui-Gon a fool for throwing him away.

"Though," said Palpatine with distaste, "I imagine he'll come crawling back at some point to offer honeyed words and a false apology."

A darkened look crossed Obi-Wan's face. He had... desperately hoped Qui-Gon would come back, would apologize... but was Palpatine right? Would it just be false words? Just to abate his own guilt or the accusations of others?

He tossed it away. "I don't think I'll accept. Once I pass my trials, I owe him nothing."

There was a glint of approval in Palpatine's eyes. "Good, good."

Palpatine slowly rose and stalked around the desk, if not for the friendly face he wore, Obi-Wan might have considered himself prey to a predator. "I'm glad we had a chance to speak my boy. It's good for you, to have someone to unburden on. I know it's not the Jedi way, but you are only human, it's only natural. I would be honored if you would consider me a friend enough to continue to do so if ever the burden becomes to much."

Obi-Wan stared at him, and then his hand as the Chancellor offered it. It was something he should refuse as a Jedi, he knew it. Yet... he felt an odd sincerity from the older man. He was telling the truth in that he wanted Obi-Wan to come to him, and that he would be willing to listen. An unbiased third party, who wasn't a Jedi Mind Healer.

Force, the idea alone of not having to go into the Halls of Healing to deal with issues that he couldn't manage to release to the Force or bury was enough on it's own to get him to shake.

The concept of someone outside the Order, not bound in the same ways as he, who wouldn't be afraid to privately call the Jedi out on things that made no sense, was what made him do so. "I would be thankful Chancellor, to have you as a friend."

The Chancellor smiled a kind, benevolent smile at him. "As am I Obi-Wan Kenobi, as am I..."

Author's Notes:

Because I like diverging from Cannon even more than I already did. ^_^ (Also a short break from Meetra and Co.)

Review Responses:

The Benevolent Scriber: Revan and Anakin will have their teaching moment(s). Though what happens there I haven't exactly planned out yet, aside from Jolee Bindo's name being brought up.

Guest (Jan 31): Meetra's struggle with why she turned away will be pretty brutal when it comes about. It's more than just accepting what she did (which will be a large part of it), but more of why exactly she had to do so. Think of it for a moment, hundreds, perhaps thousands of bonds with other beings suddenly being abruptly cut off. Being a Wound in the Force masks the damage, but it's still there, festering, and when it's unmasked, it's going to be bad, a fall though? We'll see I suppose, we'll see...

Jedi Alex Colbent: Yeah, probably could use one. To lazy to seek one out though. As for Padme? Who knows, but I'm leaning no. Anakin/Padme is in so many fanfics, why not something different? IDK, like Cmedina1 said, it might be seen as creepy and a turn away from the story, but if it does happen, it won't happen for awhile, and who knows what form it will take... we'll see

Cute Gallifreyan: Just a simple, one sentence line, but Revan just made a galaxy changing impact in this chapter. :D

Cmedina1: Creepy... hmm... mayhaps. Mayhaps not.