I was getting annoyed now. It was 3am and I still wasn't asleep. My brain was whirring with thoughts, and driving me insane.

What will I say to Shiro? What if Eoin's there? What if they think L is weird? I wonder if yellow makes me look fat. What if I'm weird? Is it weird to want popcorn and ice cream for breakfast? 'Oh, my, god. Brain, shut up!' I mentally screamed at myself. God, I am nuts.

I threw the covers off me in a huff and sat up. After so many months of not sleeping, it was proving difficult to get back into the habit.

Plus I had the added worry of going back to my work. L was so calm about it, as though he went up against murderers' everyday.

Well, actually, I guess he sort of does.

I noticed a faint light coming from beneath my door, and realised that someone else must be up too. I rolled out of bed and glanced briefly in the mirror. I had been here for over a week now, and was already looking better. I had put on weight since getting back on insulin, and my bruises had now faded yellow. Still, it was far from the look I had once sported while working for Akahoshi.

I used to be immaculate. Hair always smooth and shiny, face always made up and dressed to perfection in black.

Now I pulled my traitorous curly locks into a ponytail, and grimaced at my pyjamas (white singlet and black shorts). I tottered over to the door and peered out into the hallway. The door to the room where the NPA and L normally worked was ajar, and I could see that the light was coming from there.

I crept across the hall, so as to not disturb the people in the room, and peeked inside.

I was surprised to see only L, sitting in front of his laptop, tapping away quietly. The screen was the only thing illuminating the gloom.

It struck me how very lonely this picture seemed, this man sitting alone in the dark in the dead of night. It was the first time I really got to study him.

His posture was terrible – there was a start. I had had several years of deportment classes with Akahoshi; not that I ever put them to much use.

I took in his pale skin, his messy hair, and those luminous eyes. He was still good looking, in weird way.

I had such a crush on him when we were growing up, but then…

I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't notice L turn around and spot me.

"K? Is everything alright?"

I just about jumped out of my skin at the sudden disturbance. I considered feigning sleep walking to escape embarrassment, but I doubted he would fall for that.

"Oh, you caught me. I can't sleep."

L nodded considering me for a moment, before gesturing for me to sit on the sofa opposite him.

"Help yourself to some coffee if you like."

He was tapping away at his computer again, as I drifted past, I noticed his cup was empty, and absently picked it up. I walked to the kitchen and started making coffee.

After a few moments, I realised I was being watched, and hastily turned around.

He had stopped typing for the moment, and was studying me.

"What never made coffee before?" I tried to joke. His gaze was so intense, it made me feel awkward. He looked away again, and I started hunting for sugar and milk.

I gave a little cheer when I found sweetener, exclaiming 'Sugar-free sugar!" and turning to show L the box.

L gave me a small smile, before shaking his head. "I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"Go without normal sugar."

"It's not that bad. I eat what I want, just not to excess like some people."

I proceeded to pour 14 sachets of sweetener into my coffee, before bringing them back to the living room. I simply handed L the sugar bowl; I remembered how much he enjoyed turning hot drinks into crystallised messes.

We sat in silence again. It was weird really. He had been my best friend just five years ago, but we had changed and grown so much since then.

"How are you finding your living quarters?"

"Um…They're good."

I was practically writhing with the awkwardness that settled around us. We used to talk about anything, and now we were like total strangers.

L was gazing off into space chewing his thumbnail.

Say something.

Say something.

He'll think you're an idiot. Say something smart.

"So, uh, Kira eh? What an asshole."

Silence.

Those huge eyes fixed themselves on me. Then I noticed the corners of his mouth twitch.

I could feel the laugh bubbling up inside me, before I completely lost it. I starting giggling into my coffee and found I couldn't stop. L was still watching me, and now he was smiling.

"God,' I managed to splutter, 'Understatement of the century much?"

It was like letting out all the tension, anxiety and fatigue in that one laugh. I realised that if I didn't stop, I would end up crying, so I calmed myself down.

I stared down into my drink, thinking about how very unfunny this entire situation was.

"You're worried."

I glanced at L, and tried to put the smile back on my face. I failed.

"Well, yeah. Everything is so risky at the moment. I've got half of Japan trying to kill me, as well as some sort of God…"

"You think Kira is a God?"

I bit my cheek, I hadn't really given that much thought as to what a 'Kira' actually was, and only knew as much as newspaper headlines gave me.

"I haven't had much time to sit down and read the papers about Kira, I only know what the headlines say."

"But deducing what you do know about him, you think he is God?"

I sat back and carefully considered my answer.

"I guess…not."

I seemed to have gained L's full attention now. His eyes no longer had that glazed quality; he was looking right into me.

"I mean, I was under the impression that God was forgiving to those who repented for their sins, yet Kira is killing people who have served time and changed their ways. There are people who have been rehabilitated, people who truly regret what they have done."

"You think that people who have killed should be let off the hook?"

"No, not at all. That would put you out of a job for a start. I think that rehabilitation is the way to go. You can't murder, murder. So looking at this from that point of view I guess…I guess that would make Kira a criminal."

I sat there, stunned at my own revelation.

L took one last look at me, and then turned back to his computer screen, though not before murmuring:

"Very good."

***

I finally made nice with Matsuda, and it turned out that he was an okay guy. It was a change from the others anyway, they were all so serious and L was always off in his own little world.

Today he was helping my pick a disguise to wear while meeting Shiro; L insisted that I wear one so I wasn't killed on the way there by one of the hit men. That was a bit of a mood killer, but at least I got to play dress up for the day. Talk about trying to find your silver lining.

So, being obedient, I asked Watari to bring me a selection of clothes and wigs that were as 'un-me' like as possible.

"Hey what about this?"

I had a long electric blue wig on with a pink feather boa around my neck. I posed in front of Matsuda, sucking in my cheeks and batting my eyelashes. He laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his head.

"Um, I don't know…"

I whipped the wig off, "You're right Matsuda, and it's more you anyway."

I plonked in on his head and sorted through the rest of the stuff. Aizawa poked his head into my room for a minute, and looked disgustedly at Matsuda.

"I knew it!"

Matsuda pulled the wig off and started whining at Aizawa, begging him not to tell the others.

"Guys, get out for a minute, I'm getting changed."

Matsuda looked like a kicked puppy as he slumped out of the room, and I heard Aizawa call out "You'll never guess what I caught Matsuda doing…"

I tied my hair into a bun, and then slipped a sleek white wig over the top. It was cut into a short bob that was longer at the front. Next was a black and gold tiger striped dress that flared out at the waist, under a navy blue sequinned blazer. I finished with black fishnets and white high heels.

As un-me like as possible.

I marched into the work room, and stood with my arms outstretched.

"Guess who?"

The NPA looked up and gave the customary compliments. Matsuda said he liked my jacket. I said he could borrow it any time.

L barely looked up.

"Very nice Viola,' he mumbled in mono tone. "Seeing as you're ready, I think we should but our plan into action tomorrow."

My good mood from frolicking in the pretty clothes was dashed instantly. I was annoyed to find that I was disappointed that L didn't check me out. Any other guy would. L shut his laptop and addressed the NPA. Apparently they already had worked out a plan, and were just waiting for the right time. As L went over with to the men again, I wandered over to the window. The sun had started to go down, and it occurred to me that this time tomorrow I could be in the morgue.

I had only about 15 hours before I stepped into Akahoshi Productions. 15 more hours of living. I opened the doors to the balcony and stepped out. I pulled off my wig and jacket and put them on the ground, and let my hair down, feeling it play on the wind. I drank in the sight of Tokyo. The city lights started to go on, twinkling in the darkening city like jewels in a black sea. If I lived through this, I would go out and explore freely. No more hiding in the shadows, or running, or being always aware of who was around me.

I breathed in deeply, and quietly admired the world before me.

I gave a start when I realised that L had followed me out. He didn't look at me, instead choosing to watch the city.

I stared at his profile, watching the fading sun brighten his features. He looked weirdly heroic, in the gold light. Everything about him was weird.

Together we watched the sun go down.

"The end" I muttered bleakly. I would be forgotten with yesterday, cold and dead before the next sun set. As though the world wanted to match my morbid thoughts, a cold wind picked up and chilled me. There was nothing but darkness now.

"Look."

L finally spoke, and I saw he was gazing skyward. I tilted my head back, and was amazed to find that because of the darkness, I could see every star, the entire twinkling universe above my head.

We stood there together, with our misty breath floating to the moon, and waited for the fateful light of day.