Welll…. I'm not dead… and here's the newest chapter of I'm a falling star…. Hopefully, you'll like it!

Chapter 10- Begin Again

Ren POV

Finally, a new day has begun. Now I can focus on other things like work and training, instead of that dog. I and Mitsu-chan begin work starting today. I'm sooo excited! I jumped out of bed in eager anticipation and quickly got dressed as casually as possible, knowing that I'll have to change later on anyways.

I bounded on the stairs, two at a time, till I bumped into someone's hard chest, hitting my nose. "Oww!" I muttered, looking up at the person whom I bumped into. It was a boy who looked about my age, with blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. "Well, well, to think of my luck so good…. Allowing me to bump into a pretty girl so early in the morning... oh, what have I done to deserve such a favor?" he says, in a soft, almost husky voice, smiling.

My eyes widen at his sentence. Pretty? Who? Me? Luck? Favor? What is he talking about? I keep looking at him for a long time till he says, "I know I'm amazingly hot, but still there has to be a limit to your staring in public, honey. Of course, when we're alone, I'll let you stare at me for as long as you like." His statement causes a wide blush to spread across my face, which causes him to smirk.

"Umm… who are you?" I ask softly, looking anywhere but his pretty blue eyes. "Well, my apologies. I am Demitri of the Volturi. Do you know that you are in their castle? And who exactly are you, pretty girl?" he asks, smirking even wider at my discomfort.

"Yes, of course I know that I'm here… and …. I'm Ren, Ren Whitlock. Formerly known as Renesmee Cullen. But please call me Ren." I say back, now in a firmer voice. He smiles and looks at me from head to toe.

"What a beautiful name for a pretty lady like you. Ah, you've most certainly grown, though not so much in some places as I'd hoped…. Well, one can't have everything, can we?" he says, grinning as if he's just made a spectacular joke. I don't understand what exactly he meant by my 'growth' but he sure said it in a weird, almost snide way.

"…" I keep staring at him. I have no idea what to make of him, but I don't have time for this. I don't want to be late on my very first day! So I say to him, "Sorry, but I'm in a rush… I have to go and work… so if you could please excuse me…"

He grins as I walk away from him, which makes me think he's probably got some issues. Or else why would he smirk and grin like that?

I shake him off my mind, hoping that I won't meet anyone else like him on my way. But my luck seems sore to me, and I meet another guy, this one with brown hair and brown eyes. He says to me, "Are you the hybrid that Aro invited to stay with us?" in such an arrogant and apathetic voice that I almost feel as if I've done something wrong.

I'm tempted to look down, there's something so very cold in his brown eyes that sends a shudder down my spine. He's looking at me in a bored manner, and suddenly I realize that he WANTS me to be scared and intimidated of him. That he considers me a fool, an idiot for even existing.

For some reason, this doesn't sit well with me, and I stand up straight, meet his eyes with a small defiant look and say, "Yes, I am the half-human, half-vampire that Aro invited. But 'hybrid' is not my name. My name is Ren Whitlock."

He smirks, and his eyes appraise me. I don't know why, but it's like his opinion of me hasn't changed in the slightest. "Ren Whitlock?" he says in a mocking tone. "What, is that your way to rebel against your goody-two shoes image that your family has set up so perfectly for you? Or is it a way to escape the reality that's going to bind you down soon? I'm not impressed in the least. Try harder if you want me to take notice of you, hybrid."

His words struck an old, too strained, too stretched chord in my heart. And I'm sure that my expression confirms his words, because I can see the all-too knowing look in his eyes. How can he know all of this? All my insecurities, summed up so perfectly, by a complete stranger. Wait, he's not the only one. Earlier, with Demitri too, he gave me the same look.

Am I this vulnerable? Perhaps Alec, Felix and Jane saw right through me too, but were too kind to torment me the way these two are. This is where I have to take a stand, and explain my situation right? But WHAT is my situation? JUST WHAT is it that I'm escaping from? Jacob, or me? I have no answer to this guy's unasked question. He seems to gain this and smirks. He says, "Colin's the name, though don't wear it out. It will be nice to have you here, confused hybrid. Hmph, all of this is like a really crappy shoujo manga… well, it all depends on how YOU answer, doesn't it?"

I stare at him, dumbfounded. As he walks away from me, he whispers something in my ear, something that makes my eyes widen.

I stay in the hallway for a long time, motionless and stiff. But my thoughts are moving at 5000 miles a second. I am lost.

But I know I can find my way, even in this slimy darkness that encases me. What am I here for? Why am I fighting against the tide? Maybe I should just return. After all, I'm too naïve. Everyone here has seen right through me, even before I could begin anew. Isn't there somebody to help me in this darkness? I need a hand. I stretch out my hand desperately, hoping someone will pull me out.

Suddenly, a hand grabs my shoulder, shaking me. The darkness about me clears apart and I meet an angry pair of green eyes I'm somehow familiar with. "Oi, what are you doing down here, crying and stretching your hand like that?" It's Alec's voice. I realize that he has grabbed my right hand, which I'd held out unconsciously. He looks at me with anger, annoyance and a teensy bit of concern.

"Why am I here?" I ask him blindly, still too lost to realize that he has no answer for my stupid and illogical question. He will probably take it as pertaining to me being in the hallway, not HERE, in Volterra. But I still look at him in anxiousness, my eyes demanding an answer that I myself do not know.

He looks mad for a second and says, "What the hell do you mean? Did you lose yourself in this place?"

"No…. why am I HERE, in Volterra?" I whisper out, desperately begging him for an answer, any answer that will tell me why I decided to fight. He looks at me as if he's unsure what to do with me and smacks my head, saying, "Just how am I supposed to know that? Wasn't it your freaking decision to come here? What, you're chickening out? Tch. Coward. And you were doing normally yesterday."

My eyes widen. I realize that Alec has unknowingly given me an answer, but it's surprisingly right. It was MY choice to come here. And I'd already begun anew yesterday, by making new friends and new memories. So why am I hesitating now? I need to walk this path, and I'm going to do it damn well. Yes, these people have seen through my childish attempt to start fresh. But somehow, even with their harsh words, they are encouraging me not to stop.

THAT was what Colin was trying to say. That's why Jem and Anika brought me along. That was what Alec was doing when he spent a whole day with me. Jane and Felix and even Demitri. Now I can't stop. I wipe away the tears that had unknowingly come out.

I straighten up and start to walk away, whispering a "Thank you." to Alec. He catches my arm to stop me and says, almost abashedly, "Listen. I don't know what's gotten into you today. But I just want to let you know that if you really want to change yourself, to go to the extreme of changing your name, I'll be watching. It was a shock for me to see you when you first came here. You've certainly changed, it's almost as if you're in some problem or something. You seem desperate to do something, and I don't know what that is, but I'll still ... You are no longer that mutt-loving brat that I came to kill, I think. That's the only reason I've approved of you this far. So, don't… give up, I guess."

I feel a warmth spread in my chest. I was right. Everyone has seen through me, yet they are somewhat supporting me. So I won't give up! I turn to Alec and look at him straight in the eye and give him my best smile. He seems to understand, and looks a bit relieved.

We walk off in different directions, me towards the exit of the castle and he towards the inside. But, I'm pretty sure, that our thoughts are the same. We're both encouraging me to move on, ALREADY!

I give my characters a lot of pain right? Perhaps because I feel it too… well anyway, PLEASE review! ONEGAISHIMASU *bows deeply* and please forgive me for not updating soon! GOMENASAI *bows again* and thank you for liking and 'favorite'-ing my stories! It makes me feel awesome, like I'm a real author *blushes*

Revie: But we know she isn't, she's just a lousy potato sack who eats and eats and watches anime and reads manga. She doesn't have any problems, and that's why she doesn't update quickly.

ME: REVIEEEEE! HOW COULD YOU!? DOSHITE?! NANDE?! Anyways, please ignore Revie and tell me your views! -Anika