Once again, it's time for America's favorite ranting platypus. Starring in; 'Rantin' with Edward'!

Edward: Before I start my rant, I would like to announce that Stewie Griffin will be joinin' me durin' these rants of mine. Stewie?
Stewie: Thanks, platypus. The first thing I would like to rant about, is that clerk at the store. I mean, how dumb is he? Mopping the floor, and then not putting the caution sign out. What an bloody loser!! Edward?

Edward: Yeah he sure is, Stewie. I think in this chapter, he's gonna get his!! What's the forcast for this, Ollie?
Ollie Williams: HE'S GON'A GET ARRESTED!!
Edward: Thanks, Ollie! So my rant is about the last chapter!! I've noticed, there was some nudity scenes!! Especially from Penny's flashback!! One thing I noticed was, that I wasn't in that flashback!! I would've like to see her naked!! Why wasn't I in it?! But I must admit, that was the sexiest thing I've ever seen!! Stewie?

Stewie:(drooling) It sure was! I mean, according to the script for this chapter, there's suppose to be more nudity from either hip hop girl or that Patsy girl. I forget which. Let's get Ollie Williams' opinion on Hip Hop girl's flashback, Ollie?

Ollie: GIRL'S SEXY!!
Edward: Thanks Ollie! Now for,... uh, uh um, oh shit!
Stewie: What? What's wrong? What do you...uh, oh god!!

Penny walks in the scene.

Penny: Hey! I've heard what you fuckas just said!
Edward: Oh snap! What are you doin' here? You're not suppose to be out here! It's my time!
Stewie: I think, she's gonna cut our heads off, and hang them on her wall at home!
Edward:(begging) Don't cut off my head!! I still got a lot of gamblin' & evil deeds to do before I die!
Stewie:(also begging) I still need to kill Lois, and dominate the world!! Please don't kill me, Hip Hop girl!
Penny: No, I ain't gonna hurt ya. I've got tha rest of tha fic to hurt y'all. I just wanted to thank ya for mentionin' about my body!
Edward: No, thank you for havin' a sexy flashback!
Stewie: And thank you for having a sexy body!
Penny:(laughs) I don't take all tha credit. You can thank tha big G, Chappellelazlo for dat!!

She smiles at the hard-working author, and gives him a wink.

Ollie: DAMN, GIRL'S A PLAYA!!
Edward: Okay? I'm Edward.
Stewie: And I'm Stewie.
Edward: Join us next time, on 'Rantin' with Edward'!

The Storm

It was another cloudy morning at Camp Griffin. The wind was blowing harder than it was yesterday. It was knocking over some trash cans, and it was dark, too. Penny was up, and she was at the lodge. She was lifiting weights. "Damn, it's kinda lonely in here." she said. "Who cares? It's just 6:30. I don't expect anybody else to be up, yet." But Penny was wrong. She heard the lodge door slam. "Who tha hell's dat? Who could be up at this early hour besides me, news anchors, 5-0's, and crackheads?" So Penny sat the weight down, and went towards the door. She tiptoed towards the strange figure with a knife, and she made the attack. There was a scuffle. "Get off!! It's me!!" said a voice. Penny stopped wrestling. "Double N, is dat you?" "Yeah. What the fuck's your problem?" Nina sniffed. "I thought dat you was a punk-ass hood, G!" Penny said, as she put her unused knife away. "Well, I'm not!" Nina said, as she dusted herself off. "What tha hell are you doin' up at this hour?" Penny asked. "I'd just came back from work." Nina said. "Boy, yo' ass must be tired." Penny laughed. "You've been workin' for tha man since yesterday mornin'." "Well, I don't have to work anymore, Penny." Nina said. "Why?" Penny asked. "Because, I won the lottery!!" "Yeah right!" Penny laughed. "No really!!" Nina said, as she took out the winning lottery ticket. Penny looked at the ticket. "Damn Double N, you're tellin' tha truth!" she awed. "I told ya!" Nina said. "So, you're gonna take it to tha local lottery comission later?" Penny asked. "Yes." Nina said sleepily. Then she looked at her. "What are you doin' up?" "I was just liftin' weights." Penny said. "That's good." Nina said, before falling asleep. "I think, I'll leave. Dat'll be a wise thing!" Penny whispered, as she picked up her weights.

At Peter's house. The blowing wind woke him up. "Ahh! What the hell's that?" He looked around, then he looked out the window. "Oh! It's just the wind!" He looked at the clock. "Well, might as well get up, and make some breakfast." Peter said, as he got up from his bed. Soon, he was eating his breakfast. "It's sure is cloudy out, today." Peter muttered, as he turned on his TV. "I wonder what Ollie Williams got to say about it."

(Cutaway to TV)
The TV news was doing the weather, and it shows Ollie Williams. The background shows a picture of dark storm clouds, and lightning.

Ollie: IT'S GON' STORM!!
(End TV cutaway)

"Hee!Hee!Hee! That's Ollie Williams' funny!!" Peter laughed, as he ate his doughnut. "It's gonna storm later, that's good!" Then he turned the TV to another channel. Of course, there was nothing on. "Well, since there's nothin' good on, might as well pratice my poker face!!" Peter said. Then he started making faces at a mirror. One of the faces he made frightened him. "Monster!! RUN!!" he shouted. Peter ran into the wall, and knocked himself unconscious.

At Lazlo's cabin, Patsy was already up. She was quietly watching Lazlo sleep. Lazlo woke up, then he turned to her. "Good morning, Patsy dear." "Good morning to you too." Patsy said. Lazlo got up from his bed, and went to get dressed. Soon he was dressed, and so was Patsy. "Have you looked outside, dear?" Patsy asked him. "No. Why?" Lazlo asked. "Because, it's dark & cloudy out." Patsy said, as she turned on the TV. So Lazlo looked outside. "You're right, Patsy. It's sure is dark out! I wonder if anybody gonna do some outside activities today?" "I doubt that, dear. That wouldn't be a wise thing, and everyone's gonna be either in their cabins or the lodge." Patsy said. "Yeah, maybe." Lazlo said, as he sat on his bed. Patsy had the remote and turned the TV. "I wonder what's on?" she said outloud. "I don't know." Lazlo said, as he looked at the TV schedule in the newspaper. He looked in the paper, until he found some a program that was interesting. "It says that, 'Fat Albert' is on." "Okay." Patsy said, as she turned the TV to the station. "The schedule as says, it's suppose to be a good one!" Lazlo added. "I bet it's the one, where Rudy accidently explodes!!" Patsy said.

(Cutaway to TV)
It shows the junkyard/railyard, where the gang hangs out at. They was having a meeting at their badly-builted clubhouse.

Rudy: Okay, okay. Shut up, now!! Now first things first, Dumb Dick, do you got tha weapons?
Dumb Donald: Uh, th' name's 'Dumb Donald', you piece of shit!! And yes, I got tha weapons!!

He pulls out a plate full of cream puffs, doughnuts, cakes, Philadelphia fried cheesesteaks sandwiches, chili-cheese dogs & fries, polish sausages, and philly deep-fried pies.

Rudy:(evil smile) Perfect!! When Fat Albert eats these dangerous goodies; he'll explode, and tha show will be called, 'The Rudy comedy hour'!
Russell: Rudy, you're just like college on a holiday!
Rudy: How am I just like college on a holiday?
Russell: Easy! No class!!

Everyone & the audience laughs.

Rudy:(growls) Shut da fuck up, you muthafuckin' midget!!

Just then the ground starts to shake.

Rudy: Oh god! Here comes big boy!! Let's hide!!

They hid. The shaking and rumbling gets closer. The door opened.

Fat Albert:(takes deep breath) Hey! Hey! Hey! I smell somethin' sweet to eat!!

He looks at the plate full of the tasty, dangerous goodies on the raggety table. It had a note that said, "Help yourself!!".

Fat Albert:(walks towards the food) Hey! Hey! Hey! Someone's good on my book!!

He picks up a chili-cheese dog, but he noticed something. He saw a shadow moving from behind the clubhouse's TV.

Fat Albert: Who's there?!

Rudy pops his head from behind the TV.

Fat Albert: Rudy, did you put these tasty snacks here?
Rudy: Yeah, Fat Albert. I sure did!
Fat Albert: Why?
Rudy: Just because!! Go ahead and eat!
Fat Albert: Would you like to join me?
Rudy: No, I'd just ate!
Fat Albert: Come on?
Gang: Yeah Rudy, join him!
Rudy: Alright, alright!!

He unwittingly picked up a cheesesteak, and bit into it. His head blew up!! There was silence. Just then the audience applaued.

Fat Albert: Yo! Yo! Yo! I guess, dat's tha end of him!
Bill: Come, Albert. Let's go somewhere and get somethin' that we can actually eat!

So they left. Mushmouth picked up a doughnut.

Mushmouth: Mmmm! Aba boughnut!!

He bit the doughnut, and his head explodes, too. The audience laughs.
(End TV cutaway)

Meanwhile at Patsy's cabin, everyone was up. Quagmire & Gretchen was having an arm wrestling contest, and Penny was watching them. Quagmire wasn't really paying attention to the contest, and he was looking at Penny. "Oooh! Look at the cleavage on you!" he exclaimed at Penny. Gretchen slammed Quagmire's arm on the table, breaking it during the process. "Oh! Oh!" Quagmire whispered. "Oh snap! She's pissed at yo' ass, Q!" Penny said. "I'm sick of yo' ass doin' dat flirtin'!!" Gretchen shouted. "I'm yo' woman!! UNDERSTAND!?" "Y-Y-Yeah!" Quagmire said softly. "Perfect!" Gretchen said. Then she went into the next room. "Geez, what a overactin' diva!" Quagmire sniffed loudly. Gretchen ran back into the room. "What'd you say?!" "N-Nothing!" Quagmire stuttered nervously. "Are you standin'?" she asked. "No!" Quagmire responded. "Are you standin' up to me?!" Gretchen demanded. "N-No!" he said, scared. "What makes you think, dat I won't cut you?!" Gretchen attacked. "I-I don't w-want a-any trouble, G-Gretchen!" Quagmire said, scared for his life. "I-I gotta go!" He runs out of there. "Yeah! You better run away!! I will put yo' big-jawed ass in a box, bitch!!" Gretchen shouted after him. Then she walks into the other room, slamming the door behind her. Penny was alone. "Damn! All of this, because Q was makin' a nice compliment to me. I think, I'll check on Patsy, before dat Gretchen comes back and bite my leg off!" she said, as she ran out of the cabin.

Soon Penny met Patsy & Lazlo. "Hey bloods. I see ya'll up! Did you do anythin' last night?" Penny teased. "No!" Patsy sniffed. "So what do you want?" "I'd just wanted to see what you was doin'." Penny said. "We'd just got done, watching 'Fat Albert'." Lazlo said. "Damn! I'd missed it!!" Penny sniffed. "I haven't felt so pissed since dat time I was declined for dat job."

(Flashback)
Penny was sitting in a fancy waiting room. She was wearing a red suit, black heels, and black skirt. Her hair was combed neatly. Just then a man, with a neatly ironed shirt, and tie walks into the scene.

Man: Annette Smiles?
Penny:(talking clearly) That's me!
Man: Please come in, and make yourself comfortable.

Penny sat in the chair, that was in front of the man's desk.

Man: So, Ms. Smiles, tell me why you want this job?
Penny: Well, Mr..

She looks at the man's nameplate.

Penny:(reads nameplate) Mr. Bunker. Well anyway, I want this job, because I'm a expert. I can type 300 words a minute on a computer. Hell, I can do anything!!

Mr. Bunker: That's pretty good.

Just then the phone rang.

Bunker: Excuse me, Ms. Smiles. I gotta answer the horn there.

He walks off to answer the phone. He came back a few minutes later.

Bunker: I'm sorry Ms. Smiles, but I can't give you that job.
Penny: Why?
Bunker: Because the company just made a policy not to hire any mongooses. So get lost!!

He throws Penny out the door. She lands in a puddle. Then Bunker hung up a sign that said, "No Mongooses allowed!" Penny got up. She was dripping wet & cross.

Penny:(back talking in ebonics) Oh, so it's like dat? Well, looks like I have to beat tha shit outta dat muthafucka!!

The audience started to hoot & holler in a 'Married...with Children' fashion. Penny stomps back into the building, and into Bunker's office. He turned his head and was shocked to see Penny back in there.

Bunker: Can't you read?! It strictly says...
Penny: FUCK DA SIGN!! IT'S TIME TO WHOOP TH' BOUGIE OFF YO' ASS!!

So Penny grabbed the man by his throat, and started to whoop his ass. The 'Married...with children' & FOX audience started to hoot & holler again. The ass beating continued for thirty minutes. After the beating ended, Penny left the office.

Penny:(dusting off her hands) Dat'll teach yo' ass, punk!!

Bunker crawled to the door.

Bunker: I-I-I never judge a mongoose, ever again.

He passes out, and the audience cheered, laughed, & applaued.

Penny: Fuckin' snooty assed, stuck-up nosed Rhode Island bastard!!
(End Flashback)

"So, what do you wanna do today?" Lazlo asked. "I don't know. Wanna listen to the old school rap station on the radio?" Patsy asked. "Sure, but let's get somethin' to eat, first." Penny said. "Good idea." Patsy said. "That'll be a wise thing." Lazlo added. Meanwhile in his quarters, Stewie was just waking up. "Oh my bloody god!" Stewie said, as he stretched. "I wonder if Fat man's up yet?" Then Stewie got out of his bed. Outside, he bumped into Brian. "Hey dog. What are you doing?" "I'm goin' to Peter's office. He had knock himself unconscious again." Brian sniffed. "That Fat man's sure is dumb!" Stewie sniffed. "Yeah, he sure is." Brian muttered. "Please excuse me, dog. That platypus and I are gonna trash talk about Maury Povich's shitty ass talk show." Then he went towards Edward's cabin. "Uh yeah." Brian said, as he went into Peter's house.

Sometime later, everyone was at the lodge. Peter, who had been unconscious early in the chapter, was watching TV with some of the other campers. Cleveland was playing basketball with some of the campers, Joe was having a arm wrestling contest with Gretchen & Quagmire, while most of the campers were playing pool in the poolroom, & Stewie & Edward was playing 'darts'. "I say, Edward. That Maury Povich is such a loser!" Stewie said, as he threw a knife at the 'Lois' picture. "Yep! He sure is!! What a loser!!" Edward said, as he threw a knife. The knife hit someone off-screen. They screamed. "Yes!! GOT 'EM!!" Edward shouted happily. Meanwhile at Patsy's cabin, Patsy, Penny, & Lazlo was listening to the old school rap station on the radio. Just then the music started to fade. "Damn! Tha fuckin' wind's blowin' out tha signal!!" Penny sniffed. "So what? Change the station." Patsy said. So Penny changed the radio stations, but there was nothing but static. "Just turn it off, Penny." Patsy muttered. "Well this sucks!" Lazlo said. There was silence, then Penny spoke. "Hey playas, do you wanna watch TV?" "Yeah." Patsy said. "Might as well." Lazlo muttered. So Penny turned on the TV. The news was on. It showed a photo of the convience store, that everyone visited last chapter. "It's looks like dat Indian's finally gettin' his!" Penny laughed.

(Cutaway to TV)
Diane Simmons: In other news, a local convience store owner & clerk is being charged of neglect of running his store. He also being charged for assulting an officer.

It shows the store clerk being arrested, and being thrown into the back of a police car.

Clerk: Don't send me back to India!! I'll give you anything!! ANYTHING!!
Arresting officer: SHUT UP!! You're gonna get more charges, for bribing an officer!!
Simmons: This all started when the lazy clerk didn't put out the 'Caution: Wet floor' sign next to the wet spot, and the officer slipped in that area. And when asked about why wasn't a sign there to warn patrons about the wet spot, the clerk's answer was; "Free doughnuts!" The clerk will be charged and will be deported back to India. While the store will be runned by Spike Lee.
(End cutaway)

"What a douchebag!" Patsy exclaimed, as she turned the TV off. "Do you guys wanna go play knives again?" Lazlo asked. "Yeah!" Penny said, as she got her Edward drawing. At the lodge, Peter was getting up from the couch. "Well, might as well go back to my office." he said, as he stretched. "I think he's gonna read his porn magazines, again." said a nobody at the couch. "Damn, I wish we had some porn magazines to look at." another nobody complained stupidly. Penny was at the dartboard, throwing knives at the Edward sketch. "Ha! Ha! Bullseye!!" she exclaimed. "Oh snap! You'd hit the drawing in between his eyes! Cool!!" Lazlo awed. "It was, wasn't it?" Penny asked, as she threw another knife. "It sure was!" Patsy added. After the game ended, Penny looked at her watch. "It's 11:30." "Time for lunch." Patsy said. "I wonder who's cookin'?" Lazlo wondered. "I say, shut up imbelciles!!" Stewie shouted from a table. Everyone looked at him. "Today, I'm going to be cooking your bloody lunch! So I suggest that you don't dwadle!!" Everyone moaned. They knew, that a baby like Stewie couldn't cook. "W-ell, do you guys wanna go out for lunch?" Patsy asked. "Yeah!" Lazlo said. "I'll pay." "Dat's a wise idea, G!" Penny said.

At his office, Peter was scribbling something on the paper, when there was a knock on his door. "Come in, whoever you are." he shouted. Stewie walked in. "Hey Stewie. What do you want?" "I say, fat man. As you know, that I'm cooking lunch today." Stewie said. "Yeah?" Peter asked. "Go on." "Well, when I told the campers about this, a whole lot of them sounded disgusted!" Stewie explained. "Well, cook the food anyway." Peter said. "That'll be a wise thing." "What that's it? That's your answer? 'Cook the food anyway'? This is the worst answer, that I ever heard!!" Stewie ranted, then he thought a bit. "Well, that's not the worst answer I've ever heard. The worst answer I ever heard was, when you was on 'The Price is Right' that time."

(Flashback)
Peter was one of the contestants on the game show, 'The Price is Right'. He was in contestant's row. It was his turn to place a bid.

Bob Barker: And Peter, what's your bid?
Peter: That'll be the capital "O" Bob.
Barker: What?
Peter: The capital "O".
Barker:(sighs) God! What an idiot!
Peter: Thank you! Hee!Hee!Hee!
(End Flashback)

Sometime later, it was 12:30. Everyone just got done eating lunch. Penny, Patsy, & Lazlo just came back. "Oh god! That was a good lunch!" Patsy burped. "It sure was." Lazlo added. Penny looked at the sky. "It's still dark & cloudy." "I think, it's gonna rain. I can feel it!" Patsy said, as the wind blew a bit. "Yep! She'd be a brutal one!" said a voice from behind them. They turned to see an old sailor. He had wooden pegs for legs & arms. He also wore an eyepatch. "Who tha hell are you?" Penny asked. "I'd be Seamus. I've seen this type of weather plenty of times on the sea! Yep! It had taken me three friends' lives, so you three be alert!" Seamus said in a dramatic way. "So how was that?" he asked them. "That was pretty dramatic." Patsy said. "Bone-chillin'!" Lazlo added. "Nice serious touch to a comical fic!" Penny said. "It was, wasn't it?" Seamus asked. Penny, Lazlo, & Patsy nodded in agreement. "We should hangout more often." Seamus said. "Um, yeah." Lazlo said. "So, you guys wanna just chill?" Penny asked. "Yeah." Patsy answered. "Might as well." Lazlo said.

Meanwhile, Brian was sitting at his desk in Peter's office. He was listening to his cd player and was reading a magazine. "It looks like the Clippers are gonna suck again, this year." he muttered. Just then a policeman walked in. "Excuse me, but are you responsible for these two?" Brian looked up to see the officer with Raj & Clam. "Yes, officer I am." Brian said. The officer turned to Raj & Clam. "Now, promise me that you boys won't come back to New York and cause another riot." "I promise, but I'm not sure idiot boy here doesn't." Raj sniffed. "Riots, fun!!" Clam said stupidly. The cop accepted Clam's answer. "Uh, yeah. Just stay out of the UN. Geez, what a cheeky twat!!" he sighed. Brian turned to Raj & Clam. "Okay, ya'll can go off, now." "Come, dummy. Let's go see what Lazlo's doin'." Raj said. "Hip Hop Hooray!!" Clam shouted stupidly. Lazlo, Patsy, & Penny was throwing stones at Lois. "Oww!! Quit it!! Fuckin' stupid kids!!" she sniffed. "Shut da fuck up!!" Patsy attacked, as she threw another stone at Lois. "Ha! Ha! You got her in the eye with that one, Patsy!" Lazlo laughed. Raj & Clam walked up. "Hey Lazlo. Why are you guys throwin' stones at that big-nosed red-headed woman?" Raj asked. "Oh, we're just bored, Raj." Lazlo said. "Can we throw some stones, too?" "Sure! Grab a stone!!" Penny exclaimed. So Raj grabbed some stones, and Clam grabbed a giant boulder. Raj threw the stones at Lois, but he missed. "Ha! Ha! You missed!!" Lois jeered. "CLAM'S TURN!!" Clam shouted, as he picked up his giant boulder. "BOCCIE BALLS!!" Lois shouted. "This shit's gonna be good!" Penny laughed. "Go Clam!!" Lazlo cheered. "Break that huge honker off her face!!" Patsy called. Clam threw the huge boulder at Lois. The rock crushed her head. Everyone cheered, just then Stewie walked up. "I say, what the deuce are you weed sniffers doing?" he asked. "Don't look now, Stewie, but Clam just got Lois!!" Patsy said. "What the hell are you talking about, mongoose?" Stewie asked, with a puzzled look on his face. Lazlo pushed the boulder off of Lois. "Just look." Stewie looked at the sight. "Oh god!!" he exclaimed. "Rhino boy did this?" Everyone nodded. "Well then. The rhino must die!!" Stewie hissed, and walked away. "God, what a fuckin' whiner!" Penny sniffed. Patsy looked at Lois' squashed face. "This is the messiest thing, that I ever seen! Let's get Ollie Williams' cripplin' forcast on it, Ollie?" "LADY'S FACE FUCKED UP FOR LIFE!!" Ollie shouted. "Thanks Ollie." Patsy said. "I think, there's gonna be a joke about this pretty soon." Penny said. "So Lazlo, what do you wanna do now?" Raj asked. "Well, I was gonna check the e-mail on my laptop." Lazlo said. "Oh, I forgot, that you got a laptop." Raj muttered, then a crazy idea popped into his head. "Hey Clam, how 'bout we hang with Mr. Swanson?" "YEAH!! WHEELCHAIR, FUN!!" Clam exclaimed happily, as he ran off to find Joe. "I hope, he doesn't steal Mr. Swanson's chair, like he did the last time." Raj muttered.

(Flashback)
Raj & Clam was with Joe. They were fixing Peter's car. Like usual, Clam was being stupid.

Clam:(staring at Joe's wheelchair) Wheelchair. Must... ride... in... it.
Raj: Clam, what are you doin?
Clam: Uh, doin' my William Shanter impressions.
Raj: Oh! It needs a little bit more work.
Joe:(from underneath car) Raj, can you give me the oil can?
Raj: Sure.

Clam stared at Joe's chair again.

Clam:(freaking out) CLAM, MUST RIDE IN CHAIR!!

He jumps into the chair, and release the brakes. And the chair goes off.

Clam: Wheeeeeeee!!

Joe rolls from under the car.

Joe:(amazed) WHAT THE FUCK?! THAT STUPID ASS STOLE MY CHAIR!! COME BACK HERE!!

Raj: Clam!! Bring Mr. Swanson's chair back here, now!
Clam: NO!!

Clam was having the time of his life, but he didn't noticed that small twig in the road. He hit it, and he goes flying off of the chair.

Clam: WHEEEEEEEEEE!! I CAN FLY!!

This boost of self-esteem was shortly lived, as Clam hit his head against a brick wall. Raj soon came afterwards.

Raj: I hope this teaches yo' ass not to steal wheelchairs, Clam!
Clam: Uh, ketchup!
Audience:(laughs)
Raj: Fuckin' live studio audience!
Clam: 'Chico & the Man'!
Audience:(laughs again)
(End flashback)

Sometime later, it was getting close to 3:00 now. The wind was blowing harder now. The skies are getting darker, and thunder started to rumble. Lazlo, Patsy, & Penny was watching TV. They were watching 'Good Times'. "You know, that this show was pretty good, before they killed James off." Patsy said. "It sure was." Lazlo answered. "They should've cancelled it after Amos left." Penny sniffed. "Tha show had Florida preachin' every fuckin' episode!" "Shh! James is 'bout to go off!" Patsy said.

(Cutaway to TV)
James was complaining about Thelma dating a older guy. Like usual, Florida was trying to calm him down, but it wasn't working like usual.

James:(shouting) STAY OUTTA DIS FLORIDA!! I DON'T WANT MY DAUGHTER DATIN' A OLDER MAN!!
Florida:(about to cry) But James...
James: DON'T INTERUPT ME WHILE I'M IN A MOOD, FLORIDA!! IT'S NOT GROOVY!!
Thelma:(about to cry too) But daddy...
James: STAY OUTTA THIS, THELMA!! DIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!! AND IF I GET INTERUPTTED AGAIN, SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET IT!! NOW, 'BOUT YOU DATIN'...

Thelma: Daddy stop!!

James knocked Thelma out with a left hook. The audience laughs. J.J. walks in the scene.

J.J. Damn, dad. You knocked her out!! That was dy-no-mite!!
Audience:(laughs)
(End TV cutaway)

"Now, that was pretty funny!!" Lazlo laughed. "That was an wise idea to punch Thelma unconscious. I hate that bitch!!" Patsy laughed. Just then Penny got up. "Where are you goin' Penny, old bean?" Lazlo asked in a british accent for some dumb reason. "I'm goin' to get me somethin' to drink." Penny said, as she left. Patsy turned to Lazlo. "What's with the Britsh 'old bean' shit?" she asked. "I don't know. I thought it'll be funny." Lazlo said. "Oh, just don't do that shitty ass southern accent like Gretchen. That'll be a wise thing." Patsy said. "Wise thing, indeed." Lazlo added.

Meanwhile, Peter was laying back in his easy chair. He was listening to the blowing wind outside, plus he was rubbing his chin. "Hmmm? I wonder, if I can use one of the campers as a mustache?" he said outloud. Just then, he saw Penny outside. Then an crazy idea popped into his head. "I just got a crazy idea!!" Peter shouted. He put his finger in the electric pencil sharpener. "Ow! OW!! Why?! WHY?!" Then another thought popped into his head. "I'd just got another crazy idea!!" Peter got up and opened up his window. He looked at Penny. "Excuse me Ms. Penny, but can you come in here, please?" Soon Penny was in Peter's office. "Yeah?" she asked. "I would like for you to do me a little favor." Peter said. "Okay. So what do you want?" Penny asked. "Can you give me that duct tape?" Peter said, as he pointed to the table. "Yeah, okay?" Penny asked mysteriously, as she got the tape. "Thanks!" Peter said. Then he looked out the window. It had started rainning. "Well, Ms. Penny, since it's started rainin', how 'bout you stay here until the storm passes?" Penny thought about it. "Okay. It's not like I have anythin' to do!" she said. "Good!" Peter said. Back at Lazlo's cabin, the cable connection went out. "Well, there's goes the tv." Lazlo said. Patsy sat up. "It's looks like it's gettin' worst out." she said. "I hope Penny's gonna be okay." "Patsy, if she grew up in the projects in Detroit, I'm sure no little storm's gonna bother her." Lazlo soothed. "Yeah you're right, dear." Patsy said. Then she thought of something. "Uh, Lazlo. Aren't you concerned about Raj & Clam?" "No, I'm not concerned about them, Patsy." Lazlo said. "The last time I checked, they were in Mr. Swanson's hands."

(Cutaway to clubhouse)
Joe: GET OFFA MY HEAD!!
Clam:(stupidly) Damn, this chair needs some oil!!

Clam was riding on Joe's head.

Raj: Get off of Mr. Swanson's head, you long-nosed fucka!!

Then Clam put his hands over Joe's eyes.

Joe: HEY!! I CAN'T SEE!! GET YOUR HANDS OFFA MY EYES!! THAT'LL BE A WISE THING, YEAH!!
Clam: Talley-ho, old chap!!

They rolled away. On the other side of the clubhouse, Gretchen & Quagmire was playing with the new roulette wheel, that Brain builted. They crashed into the roulette wheel. Money flew everywhere.

Gretchen: HEY!! WATCH IT!! Gawd damn drunks!!
Quagmire: Doesn't matter anyway, I won!!

Joe crashed into the wall. Clam stood up.

Clam: THAT WAS FUN!! DO IT AGAIN!! DO IT AGAIN!!
Joe:(moans) Oh god!
(End cutaway)

"So, what do you wanna do now?" Lazlo asked Patsy. "I dunno. Wanna just talk?" she asked. "Yeah." Lazlo said. Patsy turned to him. "Okay dear, what do you want to talk about?" "How 'bout anything?" Lazlo asked. "Okay." Patsy said. "Did I tell you about the time when my cousin Mercedes beat up a second grader?" "No. I would like to hear & see that in flashback form please." Lazlo said. "Okay then." Patsy answered.

(Flashback)
Patsy's other cousin, Mercedes was shopping one day. She had red & black hair. It was tied up in a neat ponytail. She was also wearing bling, a red Chicago Bulls Michael Jordan jersey & shorts, black Nikes, and a black hat turned sideways. She was going back to her deep black Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Mercedes:(taking out her keys) With dat done. Now I can chill with my homies!

Just then a second grade girl walked up to her.

Girl: Ooooh! Look at the kitty!! I's like kitties!! Pet the kitty! Pet the kitty!!

She knocks Mercedes down on the ground, and starts petting her so to speak.

Mercedes: Oh snap!! This lil' beeoutch is fuckin' up my rags, and my track, son!
Girl: Pet the kitty!! Nice kitty!!
Mercedes: Ow!! I'm not a cat!! I'm a fuckin' mongoose!!

But the girl wasn't listening to her.

Girl: Good kitty!!
Mercedes:(getting mad) Gonna attack!!
Girl: Kitty!!
Mercedes: Gonna attack!!

Then Mercedes attacks the girl. She beats the girl to a bloody pulp. The girl runs away crying.

Mercedes: I WAS TRYIN' TO TELL YO' ASS, BUT YO' STUPID ASS WOULDN'T LISTEN!!

Brian walks up to the scene.

Brian: Damn girl, you whooped her ass. Damn!! Even when that special boy petted me, I didn't even do that!! Damn, Patsy's family sure can fight!! How hot is that?

Mercedes:(dustes herself off) Fuckin' kids!!

She turns to Brian.

Mercedes:(picks up her hat) Excuse me, playa, but I must be goin'.
Brian: Okay, Mercedes. Hopefully one day, we'll met again.
Mercedes: Yeah, and hopefully I get to guest star or star in a fic pretty soon.
(End Flashback)

"That was a pretty funny flashback, Patsy." Lazlo said. "It was, wasn't it?" Patsy asked. Lazlo nodded. "It sure was!!" Brian said, popping from out of nowhere. "I'd wondered why he was in that flashback." Lazlo muttered. "After this storm ceases, I'll let Peter know about Mercedes!!" Brian exclaimed. "Um Patsy, do all of your cousins know about me?" Lazlo asked out of curiousity. "Well, most of them do." Patsy said sheepishly. "Are they all females?" Lazlo asked. Patsy nodded. "W-Well then." Lazlo said as he blushed a bit from embarassment. "But you don't need to worry about them, sweetie. They can dream, but I'm the only one who got the real thing!" Patsy said, as she touched his face with her finger. "Oh damn, Patsy. Y-You're makin' me sweat!!" Lazlo said nervously. Patsy giggled seductively. "I love it when I make you sweat, dear." she said in a sexy voice. "Oh snap!!" Lazlo exclaimed. "Don't tell me, that you're gonna flirt with me in front of Brian, are you?" Patsy looked over towards the dog. He was busy reading a book. "Well, I was gonna flirt with you a little bit, dear." she said. "Oh." Lazlo muttered. "So you got anymore crazy stories about your family?" "Yeah." Patsy said, as thunder rumbled in the background. "Oh good! Tell away!" Lazlo said.

It was almost 7:50, now. The storm had stopped for the time being. Brian woke up. "Oh!! I think the storm has passed!" He looked over towards Lazlo's bed. Lazlo was asleep, while Patsy was reading a magazine. Brian got up from his location. Patsy noticed him. "Where you goin'?" she asked. "I'm gonna get something to eat, Patsy." Brian said. Patsy's stomach rumbled. "I-I guess, I could get something to eat, too." Patsy said, as she put her magazine down. Then she gave Lazlo a little shove. "W-Who there? Who there?" Lazlo asked confused. " It's just me, dear." Patsy said. "Why you woke me up for?" Lazlo asked, as he stretched. "I'd just wanted to get somethin' to eat, and you're were sleeping on my hips." Patsy explained. "Oh, I'm sorry. Grabbin' something to eat sounds like a wise idea." Lazlo said. Then he looked around. "I see, that Penny still haven't came back yet." "It's been almost four hours now." Patsy said worriedly. "Don't worry guys. Penny's probably playin' some pool." Brian said. "Maybe." Lazlo said. "Let's go see." "That'll be a wise thing." Patsy added.

After stopping by the mess hall, and got herself something to eat; Patsy went to the poolroom, to see if Penny was in there. She wasn't. "Maybe she's at the clubhouse." Patsy said to herself. She checked the clubhouse, Penny wasn't there either. All Patsy saw was Clam was trying to steal Joe's wheelchair again, Joe trying to grab Clam by his throat, Raj trying to break it up, Stewie trying to kill Clam with his ray gun but he was unsuccessful, Gretchen scolding Quagmire for flirting again, and Chip & Skip playing strip poker. "She's not in here, either!!" Patsy sniffed. "Just a clubhouse full of stupid fuckas!!" Then a thought popped into her head. "I know! She's probably at my cabin watching TV!" Patsy said, as she left the clubhouse. At her cabin, Penny wasn't there either, only Nina. She was counting her lottery winnings. "Uh, Nina. Have you seen Penny?" Patsy asked her. "I haven't seen Penny since early this morning, Patsy." Nina said, as she counted some cash. "Damn, I could of swear that she'll be here!" Patsy sniffed. "How 'bout you go to Scoutmaster Griffin and tell him what happened to her." Nina said. "Okay. I will." Patsy said. Then she looked at all of the money in Nina's hands. "Nina, where'd you get all that money?" "Uh, um, from Hillary Clinton?" Nina lied, as she laughed nervously. Patsy walked closer to Nina. "Don't tell me that you're last night's lottery winner?" "Yeah, I am!! Now please leave me and my money alone!! That'll be a wise thing!!"Nina sniffed. "Cheeky assed long neck 'ho!!" Patsy mumbled.

At Peter's office, Peter was laying back in his massage chair, and was looking out the window when Patsy walked in. "Uh, Scoutmaster Griffin?" she asked. "Yes?" Peter said. His voice sounded strange to Patsy. "What's wrong with your voice, sir?" she asked. "Uh, nothing's wrong with my voice, Ms. Smiles. So what do you want?" he asked. "Well sir, I was wondering if you seen Penny? It seems like, no matter where I look, I can't find her." Patsy explained. "No, Ms. Smiles. I haven't seen Ms. Penny." Peter said. Then Patsy sees a white T-shirt and a black vest on the floor. "Is this Penny's shirt and vest?" she asked, as she picked up the two pieces of clothing. "Uh, no it's not!!" Peter exclaimed. Patsy turned Peter's chair around to see that Penny was taped on top of his upper lip. "What the hell's that?!" Patsy demanded. "It's my mustache, Ms. Smiles." Peter said stupidly. "What?" Patsy asked. "It's my brand new mustache!! It's makes me look cool." Peter said in a laid back type of way. "Patsy, would you mind gettin' me down or somethin' like dat?" Penny asked. "SHUT UP, MUSTACHE!!" Peter shouted. "I know, that having a mustache makes men cool and shit like that, but please let Penny down." Patsy pleaded. "No! I don't wanna go back to bein' bare lipped Peter!!" Peter sniffed. "Even if this mustache has gas!!" Penny burped & farted. "Oop! Mustache burp & fart!!" Peter laughed. "Maybe next time I should not eat so much mexican food." Penny muttered. Cleveland walked into the scene. "Hey, have ya'll seen..." He looks at Peter with Penny taped to his lip. "Uh, maybe I should come back, when ya'll's not so busy." He walks away. Peter ripped Penny off his lip. "Wait up Cleveland!!" He runs after Cleveland. Penny got up, and walks towards Patsy, who was still holding her shirt & vest. "God, this shit's gonna hurt like hell, when I take this tape off." Penny said, as she looked at the tape on her six pack abs. Edward & Stewie accidently walks in. "Oop! We didn't interupt anything, did we?" "No!! Now get da fuck outta here!!" Penny sniffed, as she ripped some of the tape off. It hurted a bit. Edward & Stewie walked back out. "Damn, she was in her bra! Nice breastes!!" Edward exclaimed. "Boy, I thought Hip Hop girl's milk jugs was gonna pop out of her bra!!" Stewie exclaimed happily. "Fuckin' punks!! This must've how B felt when Big Boy did this to him!!" Penny sniffed as she put her shirt back on. "Probably." Patsy said. "So, do you wanna go tease Lois with me & Lazlo?" "No thanks, P." Penny said. "FOX is doin' 'The best of the '90's', again tonight."

(Cutaway to TV)
Announcer: Tonight on FOX's 'The best of the '90's' it's; 'Married...with children', 'In Living Color', 'Martin', & 'Roc'. Plus some commentary from the stars of the former shows.

Martin Lawrence: The show was pretty fun to do, until tha writing staff started gettin' high, and writin' ridculious shit!! Thanks a lot, Campbell!!
Damon Wayans: You know, I miss 'In Living color', you know? My show, 'My wife & kids', was a success, except two things bothered me about it. First, it was on ABC, & tha second thing was dat Campbell woman was casted as my wife. I kinda wanted Beyonce to be my wife, but shitty ass ABC refused!! Bastards!!

Announcer: All this & more!! You'll laugh. You'll cry. Well, you might cry, and you'll definately get laughs!! All on FOX tonight!! FOX: We're different. GOT A PROBLEM, WITH THAT?!
(End TV cutaway)

Later, it was getting closer to 11:00 now. Everyone's heading to bed now. The storm clouds have returned. Lazlo, Patsy, & Penny was outside talking. "Well, this had been some day." Lazlo yawned. "Yeah, it was pretty interesting!" Patsy added. "Yeah, especially when Clam threw dat boulder at dat red-headed slut!!" Penny laughed. "That was pretty funny!!" Lazlo laughed. "Well, this had been fun. I'm goin' to bed." Penny said sleepily, and walked away. Lazlo turned to Patsy. "Well, looks like we're not gonna sleep with each other tonight." Lazlo said sadly. "Don't worry dear. In two years, we'll both be 18 and be able to sleep together legally." Patsy soothed. "Why?" Lazlo asked stupidly. "Because, we'll be adults then, silly!!" Patsy laughed. "Oh! God bless America!!" Lazlo said, as he did a salute. "YEAH!! WE'RE #1!! YEAH!!" Joe shouted, popping from out of nowhere. "So, how was that?" Lazlo asked Patsy. "That was pretty patriotic, dear!!" she said. "But it was missing something." "What?" Lazlo asked. "FIREWORKS!!" Patsy exclaimed loudly. Just then thunder rumbled and lightning struck something behind her. "Well, there's your fireworks, Patsy!" Lazlo laughed. "I-I guess it was." Patsy giggled nervously. "I guess, that's god's way of tellin' us to get inside. That'll be a wise thing." Lazlo said. Patsy got closer to him. "Good night, honey." Patsy said, as she kissed Lazlo good night. "Sweet dreams, Patsy honey." Lazlo said, as he hugged her. After the kissing & hugging, Patsy & Lazlo went to their respective cabins. Shortly after they got to their cabins, it started to downpour. The sound of the rain eased everyone at camp to sleep.