Thank you to the TWO people who bothered to review my last chapter. =)
They spent the day wandering around the centre of London until their feet hurt more than they had ever thought imaginable. They wandered around Covent Gardens for a while and sat down for something to eat at one of the stalls. After they had ordered and got their food in front of them, they quickly started talking again.
They were on considerably better terms than they had been and they both hoped that this wasn't a temporary achievement.
They caught the bus to a street about 15 minutes away from Alice's place and about 20 from Bella's and walked the rest. Bella stayed with Edward, planning on taking the route to her house via Alice's so that she wouldn't have to cut the day short just yet.
"Are you staying again tonight?" Edward asked her as they got off the bus.
She shook her head, "I have my own flat to go to," she told him, smiling slightly.
He nodded, of course she did.
"Thank you," she said suddenly, filling the temporary silence that had fallen over them. "For last night, I mean,"
He chuckled slightly, "we've already been over this, its fine."
She nodded, "I know but I really am grateful. You didn't have to, you know,"
"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to." He told her, smiling crookedly "Besides," he continued, somewhat more seriously, "I didn't like seeing you like that,"
She sighed, "Sorry about that. I would've stayed at home but I just needed somebody to talk to. I didn't realise the time."
"No problem," he chuckled.
They stayed silent for a moment before he asked the question he had been dying to ask the whole day.
"If you don't mind me asking, what was the matter?" he asked her quietly, hoping she wouldn't think he was intruding by asking.
She had seen this coming all day and knew she owed him an explanation for what had happened so was well prepared. She would simply tell him the truth.
"Connor and I broke up," she said in a matter-of-fact tone.
He was silent. He was surprised, really. He felt the most curious combination of sympathy for Bella and relief. He was concerned about how she had reacted to this and didn't want her to be distressed in any way. On the other hand, he was oddly glad that she was no longer with that Connor guy, something that he was quite ashamed of. He did not want to be acting like a jealous school child but he just couldn't control his feelings towards the matter.
"Oh," he said finally, unable to think of anything else to say "I'm sorry to hear that," he lied.
"Hmm," she said simply, as if not quite in agreement. "It was bound to happen," she told him, looking in the opposite direction.
He frowned, he had actually thought they were getting on fine, much to his annoyance, "How do you mean?"
She sighed, not sure whether she should tell him this, afraid that his opinion of her would somehow be depleted by this confession. She decided that she would tone down the explanation so that he didn't think she had been using Connor, as she so obviously had been. She was far too ashamed to admit that to anybody, however unintentional it had started out to be, it was still unacceptable.
"I shouldn't have been with Connor," I said quietly, not daring to look at him and staring at my food instead. If he was surprised then he didn't show it
"I'm still not getting you," he said breezily, laughing slightly, "what do you mean you shouldn't have been with him? Didn't you want to be or something?"
She sighed, "No, I did at first. Well, I thought I did. I had liked him for a while but it seems that I didn't like him as much as I had thought,"
She stayed silent; this was hard for her to admit. She hated users and yet here she was confessing to be a one.
"So you broke up with him last night?" Edward asked nonchalantly. She nodded and he couldn't help but feel relived at what she had just told him, despite his many attempts to remain courteous. Something puzzled him though, if she didn't want to be with him then why had the break up affected her in such a way? He decided he would ask another time, not wanting to pry on the subject too long and upset her again.
"So, have you got anything big on at work?" Edward asked casually, leaving Bella rather relieved that the conversation had changed its course before she had to explain what had happened between her and Connor.
"Well, I've got a shoot with 'Cosmopolitan' tomorrow," she replied, not sure whether that meant anything to him.
He nodded, "I think my mum reads that," he chuckled, "I'll tell her to look out for you,"
Bella smiled, "She probably wouldn't recognize me without all my baby fat and spots,"
Edward chuckled, "You've changed a lot, that's all,"
"By that you mean I'm not as ugly as I used to be," she giggled,
He looked away, uncomfortable, "You weren't ugly," he told her solemnly
She left that comment hanging, wanting to move on and decided to go back to their original subject. "My manager is trying to be me a shoot with 'Look' as well," she said, smiling slightly when he looked blankly at her, "apparently it's the most subscribed fashion magazine," she said, giggling again when he nodded his head, no longer confused.
"Sounds good,"
"Yeah," she responded, "Hopefully it'll get me a little better well known. What about the band? Are you releasing anything new any time soon?"
"Well, we're planning on writing a new album soon. I'm supposed to be writing while I'm here," he told her proudly.
"Wow," she breathed, "I doubt I could ever write anything worth releasing," she laughed, "I always kind of admired musicians that write all their own music, it's something I would love to be able to do."
"I'm sure you would be able to if you tried," he assured her, secretly pleased that she found his work innovative and admirable.
She shook her head, "I don't play an instrument so I wouldn't be able to do that side of it and I'm not poetic enough for the lyrics side of it,"
"Have you ever tried?" he asked,
She shook her head, "No, but I can't imagine I would be any good. Remember how bad at poetry I was in school?" she giggled as they turned the corner to Alice's road.
He chuckled along with her, "you weren't that bad," he told her
She giggled, "I rhymed shower with hour, Edward. I was bad at it, okay?"
Laughing again with her he shook his head, "that was pretty bad," she shot him a mock glare before they began laughing again.
They came to a stop outside the block door, neither willing to break up the discussion.
"That must've been the only part of writing you were not good at," he laughed while she blushed. "Whatever happened to your dream to become an English teacher?" he asked curiously. She had always wanted to teach English but she obviously hadn't gone down that path, he wondered why she had changed her mind. She was always so stubborn; it was not in her character to change her mind about something.
"You remembered that?" she asked him, pleasantly surprised and slightly touched,
"Of course," he smiled crookedly, "Now, tell me what changed your mind,"
She laughed, "I don't know that my mind was ever changed," she said, thinking back to when she had first been offered a job in the modelling agency. "I had done English in college and was planning to go to University but I didn't have the cash,"
"So you didn't bother at all?" he asked, slightly surprised that she had given up so easily, "that's not the Bella I know,"
"No, I was still planning on going; I just had to take a gap year to earn the money,"
"And you thought that this was the next best thing?" he asked sceptically,
"No," she shook her head, "I actually worked in a hotel as a waitress,"
He shook his head, "I'm confused," he admitted, "so you were a waitress in a hotel, how do you get to be a well known model?"
She shrugged, "I was out shopping a few months into my hotel job and somebody offered me a job with their agency. They were offering good money, better than I was being paid at the hotel, so I took it as a temporary thing."
"Why did you stay?" he asked, still confused. This was not something he had ever pictured her doing.
She shrugged, blushing slightly. She didn't want to go into this right now.
He seemed to take the hint and change the subject. She felt slightly sorry for him; although they were on better terms there was still so many difficulties and awkward patches, so much she was unwilling to share. It couldn't be easy trying to patch a friendship together when one was so adamant not to let the other one in on their feelings and thoughts. She decided she would be looser around him, but only on certain subjects. She could not explain to him the real reason why she hadn't pursued her life long dream to become an English teacher and settled for something else instead. Not now.
"Where do you live now?" she asked after a while, "I mean, do you live with your parents up in Edinburgh or do you live elsewhere?"
"I live in Edinburgh but not with them," he told her; slightly surprised that she was interested. He knew she had been in contact with Esme and Carlisle in the interval that they had not talked. That was probably the main reason they were so set on the pair finding friendship again; they knew that she was the same girl that he had always viewed as his family.
"What's it like down there?" she asked curiously
"It's… nice," he told her simply, not really sure what else he could say. Sure, the actual place wasn't that bad and he quite liked his flat but there was nothing holding him there. Sure, he had friends and if he left he would miss some of them but he wasn't close enough to any of them to stop him from moving. In fact, if he were to get pretty much any offer, within reason, he would probably move away. His life there was just… empty, in a way. There was nothing to keep him there and no reason why he wouldn't leave given half the opportunity. Still, he couldn't tell her that.
"Just nice?" she asked sceptically.
"Yes, nice," he repeated, letting her know that the subject was dropped.
She felt better; at least she wasn't the only one of the two withholding information.
She shrugged simply before continuing, "Do you live on your own or with a friend or girlfriend?" she asked, hoping against her rationality that he would say he did not live with a girlfriend. It was that she was jealous as such; she just didn't like the idea of him being with somebody. It was a curious feeling, especially since it was only a 'teenage crush' as she told herself if was, unable to admit that she might actually have feelings for somebody who had hurt her so severely. But that was in the past, she told herself, she needed to get over that. It was old news, long forgotten. She had forgiven him, especially after his help the previous night. He had proved that he was actually capable of being caring.
"I live alone," he told her, watching her face carefully. She was too good at controlling her features though, and he didn't catch even a glimpse of the shameful joy she felt. He decided to try again, closely scrutinising her face and ready to catch sight of any flicker of emotion "My friends are mostly living with their own girlfriends and I'm single, you see," he told her.
She was well aware of his scrutiny and fought extra hard to control her features. However, battle as she may she couldn't quite control the emotion that showed and although it was only a brief second, she knew he had seen the flicker of happiness when he looked away with a satisfied smirk on his face.
She blushed deeply, completely embarrassed. She knew what he was doing and now he had caught her out. Maybe she could just explain that she was feeling the remnants of a teenage crush and this was simply the repercussion of his reappearance in her life? No, that wouldn't do; then she would have to admit to having feelings for him as a child, a feat that would go be easy to do considering she was the person left behind as a result of his adolescence.
Edward however, was quite pleased by this revelation. His rational, gentlemanly side was telling him that this was not an implication that she liked him in the way or to the degree that he liked her, by any means. He simply decided that she was experiencing some emotions that meant she didn't like the idea of him being with another woman. However, the majority of his brain was shouting in victory, fully satisfied that he was not the only one with feelings of admiration towards the other and a feeling of jealousy directed at the other's possible, ex or nonexistent other half.
He looked over at Bella who was staring at the floor and blushing deeply and felt awful at once. He had embarrassed her and he knew she hated being embarrassed and blushing.
"Will I see you again before I leave?" he asked, changing the subject.
"When are you leaving?" she asked as nonchalantly as she could managed despite the fact that her heart was going crazy at the thought of him disappearing from her life once again.
"Next week," he lied. He hadn't, in reality, decided when he was returning home and the idea of returning to an empty flat in Edinburgh when he could be here with Bella seemed absolutely ludicrous to him. But, if he told her he was leaving soon, he would get to see more of her in a shorter period of time. He could always say he's extended his stay at the end of the week.
"Oh," she said, slightly disappointed "Well, like I said, I've got that shoot tomorrow and I'm going to an interview for a catalogue job the day after that so I'm not sure if I would get to see you then. Maybe the day after that?" she said uncertainly. She didn't like the idea of not seeing him until three days time but she would have to get used to the idea of him leaving.
"Oh," he said, equally as disappointed "Sure, that sounds good," he assured her.
"Okay, well I'm going to have to get going," she said, "I have to be up early tomorrow to go to the gym so I need to get some sleep,"
"The gym?" he repeated, chuckling slightly,
"Yes, the gym" she replied, slightly annoyed "is anything funny about the gym?"
"No," he said quickly, "I just didn't have you down as a gym kind of girl," he admitted
She laughed, "If I didn't go to the gym regularly then do you think I'd still be in this business?"
He frowned, "What do you mean?"
"Well, if I don't keep in shape then I wouldn't have a job and I have to burn those calories some way," she told him laughing slightly, before hugging him loosely "Anyway, I'll see you on Wednesday," she told him before turning and walking down the road.
"Bye!" he called, staring after her as she walked down the road. He didn't go inside until long after she had turned the corner.
He spent the rest of the night thinking about the next time he would see her and the next time they would be spending a day like today together. He remembered the smiled and laughs of the day and smiled fondly. He had forgotten in the years that he had been without her how much he genuinely enjoyed spending time with Bella. He remembered the look that had crossed her face when he had told her he was single and stifled a smile. He knew that this may not be as he thought and that even if it was that didn't give him the go ahead to do anything. He had, after all, decided that he would be happy with just a simple friendship with Bella if that was all she wanted. He could not let a slightly indication that he may not be the only one of the two with feelings for the other go to his head.
He heard Alice return home, bringing him out of his thoughts. He got up and went through to greet her.
"Where've you been all day?" Alice asked, knowing that Bella had gone looking for him when Lucas had called around earlier that day. She did not know, however, whether the expedition had been successful and was eager to find out where he had spent the majority of his day.
"Bella and I spent the day trooping around London," he said, trying but failing to hide the grin that spread across his face
Alice stared at him, shocked, before squealing and pushing him into the seat next to her. "Tell me everything!"
This is a short-ass chapter, I know. Sorry and all but I didn't want you guys to wait any longer. =)
Review, review, review!
Reviewers get a preview of chapter 11 =)