Chap 9 (Slashy Version (S))

AKA melodramatic version. Rated T, for safety's sake.

-000-

Kolya was on top of him now, and the blanket was long gone- ripped from Rodney's desperate clutches.

He couldn't breathe. The feeling of a large man against his bare skin was so bizarre- it was utterly inconceivable.

And, as Rodney felt the miniscule distance between them degrade, he cried out in terror.

"Get off of me!!!" he screamed, bucking his body wildly, ignoring the tearing sensation in his ankle and forearm.

But the man on top of him barely budged, his rough hands gripping tightly, imprinting fingerprint bruises on Rodney's ribcage.

As Rodney opened his mouth, whether to scream or try to blurt out his true identity once again, Kolya's tongue injected itself roughly, gagging him.

Rodney's hands flailed wildly, gripping Kolya's back, leaving claw marks from his short nails.

And, though he had been expecting it, railing against it, trying with every fiber of his being to deny, rebuff, and refuse it- it happened.

The shock was so great, so strange, so against that for a moment, Rodney felt as though he was floating above his body, watching as the frail female body he inhabited was violated by the far larger man, the man's moan of satisfaction eerily recognizable.

Rodney snapped back, pain drawing him in like a rubber band stretched too far.

Kolya was laying half-on him, panting and sweating, his fingers caressing the sensitive skin between Rodney's breasts.

Rodney turned his head to look at him, disbelief written on every feature.

Kolya's hand ran down Rodney's stomach, tracing circles below her navel.

"Perhaps," Kolya said, catching his breath, "next time you will allow me to make it more enjoyable for you."

Rodney did not bother to suppress a horrified shudder.

Unknown to Rodney, Kolya translated it as a thrill of excitement.

-000-

Trying to sleep in Kolya's arms was like trying to sleep in the clutches of a serpent, but, as exhausted physically and mentally as Rodney was, his body left him no options.

When he awoke, he had the faint hope that this had all been some elaborate and psychologically scarring nightmare, but the rough hands lying over his hips belayed that wishful assumption.

He barely resisted the urge to break into tears, his body shivering mightily. He was going to vomit. Curling up the best he could without allowing any part of his body to press against Kolya's, Rodney wished with all his might that Sheppard would come busting in the door and kill the SOB lying next to him.

He had been raped. Never in his wildest and most horrific dreams had he imagined this scenario. And he was king of 'worst possible things that could happen'. Rodney shuddered harder, quivering so hard that it was quite surprising he didn't wake the man lying behind him.

The man.

Kolya.

Of all the people- anyone would have been… but HIM! Like he hadn't been featured in enough of Rodney's nightmares before this!

Rodney laid like that for a long while, trapped in his thoughts, always circling back to that horrible moment. Ignoring it when Kolya rose from the bad. Ignoring the calloused hand that brushed across her forehead. Ignoring the blanket carefully placed around her. Staring resolutely at the wall; unseeing, unmoving, shivering.

And, as much as Rodney would like to blame Kolya, the longer he thought about it, the more he realized- it wasn't Kolya's fault. He was simply a man- a rough, uncivilized, brutal man, but a man nonetheless. How many times had Rodney, himself, taken a woman with barely a thought towards her, not without permission, of course, but with just as little thought?

No. There was one person responsible for this. Sheppard. He was the one who forced him to leave the safety of Atlantis; he was the one who forced him to wander away, who wouldn't listen to his warnings, who made him take that first watch, who let Kolya take him through the gate.

Why didn't he stop him?! He didn't even try! That gun he was always bragging about, the same gun that had missed Elizabeth's head to free her from Kolya's grasp; that SAME gun, in those SAME hands, had failed to shoot. Failed to try. And why? Rodney thought bitterly. Because I am not Elizabeth. Because I am not worth saving.

Well, screw him. Screw them all. They were too slow; too busy sleeping to rescue him in time. And screw this silence. NOTHING was worth this. So Kolya would know he was McKay, so he would probably torture him for information on Atlantis. So what? Like THIS wasn't torture? And what for? To protect a bunch of ungrateful, unhelpful, useless…

Carson's face flashed in front of his eyes, Teyla's soft eyes and swollen stomach, Radek's crooked smile of discovery.

Not all of them. They weren't all useless. Some of them where his friends. He couldn't give them up. And if Kolya knew… There was no way he could keep from telling that man anything he wanted to know. The only thing that had stopped him so far was the fact that he had not been asked a single question.

With the images of his friends in his mind, Rodney resolved that Kolya would never find out the truth. No matter what.

Besides, Rodney thought, mentally chuckling, what worse thing could Kolya do to him?

-000-

Rodney regretted asking the question.

The time had moved interminably while Rodney was deep in thought, and, now, the darkness was once again in full force. They had eaten- some concoction that Kolya had thrown together while Rodney was oblivious.

And now, it seemed, Rodney was about to have his mettle tested. But I'm not made of metal, Rodney thought dizzily as Kolya once again stripped and approached the bed.

Rodney gulped and pressed himself into the wall, the trembling starting once more.

"Not again, not again, not again," Rodney chanted to himself, unaware he was speaking at all.

Kolya paused, settling on the edge of the bed, slowly eying Rodney's lithe female body.

"Perhaps, Doctor," Kolya said softly, sliding the blanket from Rodney's grasp, "this time you will allow me to make it pleasurable for you?" he asked rhetorically.

Rodney, pressed into the wall, his injured arm covering his breasts, closed his eyes and held his breath, somehow hoping that if he was motionless enough, Kolya would lose interest.

No such luck. Rodney winced as Kolya drew close, running his fingers down her body. Kolya's breath was hot on her neck, the puffs of warm air raising goose bumps.

Kolya's lips ran slowly down her collarbone and hovered at the base of her throat, causing her to swallow roughly. Rodney's trembling intensified.

Gently pushing aside her injured arm, Kolya's large calloused hands ran across her breasts, barely brushing the sensitive skin.

Rodney forgot how to breathe as Kolya's lips followed his hands. A moan of pleasure threatened to erupt before being frantically suppressed by a supremely male mind.

99, not prime. 67, prime. 1,462…

Then Kolya's hands stroked the tender skin of her inner thighs, his tongue flicking out…

And Rodney's mind was overwhelmed.

With a moan of pleasure, Meredith pulled Kolya closer. Her fingers digging into his back for purchase as she drew him in with a growl of possessiveness. Finally opening her eyes to see a triumphant smirk on Kolya's face- before it was replaced by a look of glazed bliss.

-000-

AN: Oo… Okay. That was strange to write. Tell me what you think, please! Btw- I'm listening to Dido's 'Don't Leave Home'… It fits, in a very weird way.