And Then There Was Light Chapter 10, a penny dreadful fanfic

A/N: Has it really been almost 5 months since my last update? Gosh, does time get away…I officially dislike adulting. And, since drinking tea, reading books, and watching my favorite shows all day is frowned upon, my life has become an endless pile of homework. Don't worry, though, I will try and get the next chapter up sooner than I did with this one.

And thank you all for those lovely words and input on my last chapter!

So, I've decided to do this chapter a bit differently than the rest. The first part will be from Ethan's POV, and the other part will be from Vanessa's. I hope it works out okay!

R&R! Happy Readings!

Ethan's PoV

The night before the change is always the worst. A burning energy stirs under my skin, and if I close my eyes to sleep, I'll imagine all the horrors that could occur. Most nights, I choose not to sleep and wait until sunup when the beast quiets down a bit. The calm before the storm.

But tonight is different. Tonight, I don't feel the scratching beneath my skin, and while I still don't sleep, it is like a wave of peace has settled over me. For once, all is quiet, and I send a silent prayer of thanks for the soft body sleeping next to mine.

The candles have long since burned out, and I look down at the source of my peaceful night, watching as the nightly shadows, mix with the moonlight across the pale skin of her back. The sight of her takes my breath away, and I force myself not to wake her. She needs the rest. Instead, I settle on brushing her dark strands from her face, and gently stroke her cheek, watching the soothing rise and fall of her chest.

oooOOOooo

When the sun makes its appearance, I slowly leave the warmth of the bed and pull on my clothes from the night before.

There are a few errands for tonight that need to be taken care of, and I'd rather do them before Vanessa wakes. Finding a pen and paper, I quickly scrawl a few words down.

Just in case you wake before I am back. Be home for breakfast.

With love,

Ethan

After placing it on the empty spot next to her, I quietly make my way downstairs.

I am almost to the door when a voice stops me.

"Good morning Mr. Chandler."

Turning, I smile slightly at Aseema, who is leaning against the kitchen doorway with her hands wrapped around a mug.

"Mornin', you're up early." I say in greeting.

She laughs softly. "I could say the same to you, Mr. Chandler."

Her accent is more pronounced in the mornings I notice, and my throat tightens at the reminder of her father. I quickly push the feeling away.

"Just have some things I gotta do this morning." I drawl and put on my hat, hoping she would take the hint that I am in a hurry.

"For tonight, yes?"

I pause.

"And you don't want Miss Ives to know." She states

My continued silence is enough to confirm her question. It unnerves me when she does that.

"You know, I keep forgetting you can do that." I mutter.

Realizing that I won't be leaving until she quits her questioning, I brush past her and head into the kitchen, feeling a bit irked that she's been looking through my head.

Sensing my irritation, she follows me in and pours me a cup of coffee.

"I wasn't reading your mind." She says, handing the hot mug over. "I can only see what you let me, and you sir, have a sturdy wall around your thoughts. Almost as tough as Miss Ives'."

I frown, confused at her words.

Then how was she able to see into Vanessa's mind while she was sleeping? Or how did she know my feelings for Vanessa, when we only just met?

My puzzlement must be evident on my face because she quickly explains.

"If I want, I can force my way in, like I did with Vanessa, that first night. But it can be very uncomfortable, and I prefer not to invade if I do not have too."

I nod and look down at my coffee. It still doesn't explain why she knew those other things about me.

And then she chuckles, causing me to look up at her. She regards me with an amused expression.

"I may not be able to get through to your thoughts, but you are one of the most readable people I have encountered." She pours herself another cup and takes a seat at the table. She nods to the empty chair, and I join her, waiting for her to continue.

"I knew you loved Vanessa because it was so clearly written on your face when you looked at her, and I know why you don't want Miss Ives to take part in your morning errands. You are ashamed of the creature you turn into, and you think Miss Ives has seen enough monsters in her lifetime. You don't want her to have to deal with what you believe yourself to be on nights like tonight."

I swallow.

"And what's that?" I ask.

"Monstrous."

We don't say anything for a while after that.

oooOOOooo

Aseema breaks the silence, as I'm heading for the door.

"I want to come with you."

I sigh.

Of course, she does.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

I pull on my coat as she watches me, her face indignant. Sometimes I forget that she is so young.

"It was my father who helped you before, was it not?"

Can't she just leave it alone?

"Yes, and look how well that turned out." Clenching my jaw, I yank open the door, inhaling as the cold air hits my face.

"He knew the risks, as do I, and if it's all the same to you," She murmurs softly as if speaking to a cornered animal. "I'd like to help."

Damn it all to hell.

"Come-on then, I'd like to be back before breakfast."

Since it's still early, we make our way through town quickly. I get new shackles for the basement since the others have rusted over in my absence, and despite Aseema's protests, I buy her a gun, for safe keeping.

When we return, the house is still asleep, and after bringing the supplies down to the basement, I make my way upstairs.

oooOOOooo

Vanessa's PoV

I wake to the sound of muffled noises echoing downstairs. Blinking drowsily against the soft pastels of autumn light flooding through the window, I turn to wrap my arms around the warm body next to mine.

Except there is no warm body next to mine. I reach my arm out to touch the cool sheets, and my hand grazes something smooth.

Sitting up, I push the hair from my face, and pick up the folded parchment, reading it.

With love, Ethan.

I frown.

The last time I saw those three words, they concluded his farewell, and I cannot help the tightening in my chest at the sight of them.

I quickly look up as the door opens, revealing a sheepish looking Ethan. I set the paper aside.

"We didn't wake you, did we?" he asks.

I only smile in response, as he makes his way over to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Sleep well?"

His voice his husky, and I feel my smile widen.

"Very."

He smiles back, if not a little shyly, before pulling me up and softly kissing my mouth. When we pull apart, I can't help but run my fingers through his hair. It's grown out a lot in the weeks since he's been back.

"Where did you go?"

His smile falters as he regards me.

"Town."

"Hmm..you are being stubborn." I say, tugging his hair slightly harder than I normally would. But ordinarily, he doesn't keep things from me.

"For what?" I press.

"You already know why I went out, so why are you asking?" He snaps.

I let my arms fall at my sides and narrow my eyes at him.

"Because I didn't want you to go alone."

His eyes soften slightly at my words.

"I wasn't alone." He says, "Aseema went with me."

Huffing, I get out of bed, and peel off my nightgown, ignoring the gooseflesh rising on my skin.

"So, you just didn't want me to go with you, is all." I say, trying not to sound too hurt.

"Can I at least be there with you tonight?" I ask

Behind me, I hear him sigh.

"Vanessa, it's complicated."

I scoff and pull open the door to my wardrobe.

Complicated? What's so complicated with wanting to help?

Tugging a grey underdress over my head, I turn back to Ethan, who is still sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Did you forget our conversation last night?" I ask, "I am not some damsel. You've seen me at my worse and have remained by my side. Now it is my turn. Let me be there for you."

He stands up and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"You can be there for me, without actually being there." He says slowly.

"Why don't you want me in there?" I ask, "It is not as if I have not seen what you are. And we both know the wolf will not cause me harm."

He says nothing.

"What are you so frightened of, that you cannot even let me in?"

"Damn it, Vanessa!" Almost growling, he grasps my upper arms in a firm grip, making me look at him.

His eyes, usually a soft brown, are hard with desperation.

"Just, please."

Pulling free from his hold, I set my jaw and leave him standing there. I quickly do up my dress and pin my hair, before opening the bedroom door.

I turn back to his motionless figure.

"We are supposed to be partners, you and me." I whisper quietly and shut the door with an echoing click.

OooOOOooo

I find Malcolm in the main room, reading the paper. He looks up as I walk in, and smiles.

I attempt a smile back, but seeing right through my façade, Sir Malcolm narrows his eyes in concern.

I sit down next to him and lean my head on his shoulder.

"Why are men so stubborn?"

A low rumble of laughter vibrates against my cheek.

"I do believe us men ask that very question about women." Malcolm replies, sounding amused.

Sitting up look at him, I narrow my eye at him in suspicion.

"Do you know the reason Ethan will not allow me to be in the room when he changes form?"

A flicker of bemusement crosses Sir Malcolm's face, but it is gone in an instant.

And I know it is because I am not usually one to seek him out on matters of the men in my life, but Ethan is not just a man in my life. He is a part of everyone in this company, and I know Sir Malcolm understands this.

"I do not think we will ever know some of the reasons why Ethan does what he does." He turns on the couch to look at me, "His life before us, is still a mystery, even to me. Just give him some time, Vanessa."

I nod, feeling ashamed at my behavior upstairs. But only slightly. The man is too stubborn for his own good.

"Oh, I almost forgot."

I am pulled from my thoughts as Malcolm pulls out an envelope from his vest, and hands it to me.

It is addressed to my name. I go over to the desk and quickly cut the letter open.

"It is from Mr. Lyle." I say.

"What does it say?" I look up from the parchment at the sound of Ethan's voice.

Meeting his gaze briefly, I look back down at the letter and began to read it aloud.

"Dear Miss Ives,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. As you know, I have been conversing with Miss Hartdegen. What an fascinating woman she is! She reminds me of you a bit if you do not mind my saying so. She has brought to my attention, the peculiar situation you are in. Upon hearing this news, my dear, I have decided it is time for me to come back to London. I hope you do not mind, as I have told another of your predicament. His name is Colin Gibson. He is an apprentice of mine, and I think he can be of great assistance to us. A fellow English man. Quite handsome he is too! Though do not tell our good Mr. Chandler I've said as much. I assume he is back? Oh, so many questions my dear. By the time this letter reaches you, Mr. Gibson and I will be well on our way. We will call upon you as soon as we arrive in London. Until then Miss Ives.

Mr. Lyle"

Smiling fondly at Mr. Lyle's unabashed words, I carefully fold the letter back, tucking it into the pocket of my dress.

"I am having lunch with Victor today, so I will pass on Mr. Lyle's return." Sir Malcolm says.

"Don't forget to warn him of this handsome Mr. Gibson who has apparently taken our place." Ethan adds, humor filling his voice.

Sir Malcom chuckles quietly and I can't fight the smile that slips onto my mouth.

It seems we are all relieved to finally have some air progress underway, no matter the tensions from earlier.

OooOOOooo

I sit in the main room with my cards, until Sir Malcom leaves for town, and then I head down into the basement.

He is there, just like I knew he would be, sitting in a chair from the kitchen, that has no doubt seen better days. It faces the stone wall where several chains are attached.

"My father."

"What?" It is barely a whisper, and I almost don't catch it.

"You asked me what I am so afraid of." He leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, "My father."

I soundlessly cross the distance between us, and crouch before him, searching his face, but he's looking at the iron shackles on the ground. My skirts shuffle innocently around them.

"When he found out what I was, he told me something that I hadn't even remembered until now." Pausing, he takes a deep breath and lifts his eyes to mine. "He told me, 'when you find that one person who means everything to you, you better hope to God you don't kill her too'."

I swallow, taking in his words. I know little about what happened to his family, but he has known since the very beginning that death has followed me closer than most normal people. Quite possibly it will be that way for the rest of my days. Though deep down, I know, no matter what I say now will convince him that his other form is the least of my worries, because if I cannot beat the forces against me, if I fall, he will still blame himself.

I know there is plenty more he is not telling me, but I understand his anguish at the thought of me seeing him chained up like a beast.

"Ethan," I lean up to brush my lips with his. "I will go out tonight, I have some things I need to tend to anyways."

He accepts my attempt at a truce, and pulls me into his arms.

"Though this still does not mean I am entirely happy about it." I mummer into his neck.

He sighs, "Noted." I can almost feel him rolling his eyes. I smile.

OooOOOooo

I leave Ethan in the capable hands of Aseema, just before sundown, with the promise to be back before daybreak. He doesn't ask where I am going, and I can only suspect it is because there is already too much on his mind tonight.

A jittery energy fills the night air as I climb into the awaiting coach, though I don't know if it is to do with Ethan's changing or if it is because I am suddenly nervous to be out unaccompanied.

Since when did being alone bother me?

Taking a deep breath, I push down my paranoia and focus on the rhythmic movement of the carriage, knowing I will feel better when I get to my destination.

The place is just as I remember it. I enter through the back, and don a white hospital mask. A girl, who couldn't have been more than sixteen, hands me and apron and a ladle, and I get to work.

As the hours pass, I forget about my nervousness from earlier, and I am filled with a sense of accomplishment. It feels good to be able to discard my own troubles, if only for an evening, and focus on offering comfort to these suffering people.

"Miss?"

I look up from my spot next to a young boy, who had wanted me to sit with him while he went to sleep. It is the young girl from earlier, and she gives me a small smile.

"The morning shift will be arriving soon." She informs me.

I stand and undo my apron, handing it back to her.

"Thank you." I say, "I will be back when I can."

Dawn is just beginning to break, and I decide to walk back. The foggy sky leaks bits of color through the passing night, and there are a few work men, snuffing out the street lamps, who tip their hats to me as I pass.

I am almost to the gates, when I feel the hairs on the back of my neck raise. A chill carries its way over me. I am being watched. I look around for evidence of this feeling, but there is nothing out of the ordinary. Just the early risers, prepping for a day of work.

Quickening my step, I continue on, all the while sensing someone at my back. Lurking in the shadows like a predator tracking its prey. Waiting.

And as I lock the door behind me, I can only hope Mr. Lyle and his apprentice have some answers for us.

A/N: Whew…I think this is my longest chapter yet.

So, as we all know, nothing ever stays hearts and butterflies in the world of Penny Dreadful, but I took a few liberties and added a little anyways;)

Anyone else glad that Mr. Lyle is coming back? Also, new character! I am excited to introduce him.

If this story feels like it is dragging, I do apologize with promises of it picking up very soon. Action and twists await. I just had to kind of get the ball rolling.

And as always, comments are graciously accepted. I do love hearing your thoughts and ideas:)

Until next chapter

-S