Chapter Nine

The year after Ivy's birthday party passes by in such a flurry that she is unready when the Quarter Quell announcement comes around. Her family – excluding a certain few members who had chosen to stay behind and run the shop – had moved into her home next door while she remained with Haymitch. They'd seemed ready to forgive and forget and push their past in the shadows. Ivy had no problems with that, and Haymitch wasn't opposed either.

In fact, things get so comfortable that Ivy begins to get paranoid. She had her life go good for too long now, she knew something was in the wakes.

And of course, the blonde was right.

-x-

"I don't know, Haymitch," Ivy whispers to her lover at night. They were wrapped in their blankets, shielding themselves from the cold of the winter. Haymitch sighs.

"You're being paranoid."

"Like I don't have a right to be?" she snorts.

"I'm not saying you don't have a right to be paranoid, princess," he sighs. "I'm just saying that you're finding a problem where there is none. You're trying to make your life awful because you're scared of being happy."

"And when did you get so philosophical?" Ivy asks, turning to face him. She could barely see him the darkness, but she reaches up blindly to touch his face anyways.

"When you started taking my job of being the insane one," he replies. She slaps his bare chest and he chuckles, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I'm kidding, sweetheart."

"And I'm not, Haymitch. I'm serious, I don't have a good feeling about the quell."

"And you shouldn't," he says. "Look, I'm not saying whatever the Quell has in store will be good or healthy. I'm just trying to tell you not to over think it. Let's try to hope for the best."

"Hope doesn't exist, Haymitch. You said it yourself."

"I said that before I started sleeping with you," he points out. Ivy shrugs. He might just be right. Maybe the Quell wouldn't impact them hard this year. Maybe she was just over thinking things. Or at least, that's what she tells herself so she could sleep.

-x-

"In honor that even those of blood to the strongest are not above the reaping; only family members of Victor's shall be reaped. All family members included." It settles in her mother's brain before it settles in anybody else's. Mrs. Pagan grabs Ivy's hand, a worried expression on her face. The Quell didn't have an age limit. Ivy could very well mentoring her father or her youngest brother. Either way, there was a very high possibility that two of her family members wouldn't make it out of the arena alive. Especially considering the other Victor's siblings and parents.

"I'm sorry," Ivy chokes out, finally, glancing towards her father. His face was marble, as he showed no expression. Thicket stands and rushes to the trash can, emptying his stomach of that nights meal. Everyone had mixed expressions. Some looked horrified or shocked, but most of the occupants in the room were angry. Ivy doesn't even jump when Haymitch launches his liquor bottle at the wall.

"You!" Cayenne yells. Usually she would be at the sweetshop, but she had joined her family for the Quell viewing. "You did this!"

"I'm sorry!" Ivy shouts back. "I just wanted to come home… I didn't know it would affect you all in the long run! I'm sorry, Cayenne!"

"You wanted this!" Her twin rages, flipping a chair over. "You dragged us back in your life so we could die! I hate you!"

"Don't say that!"

"Why not? Because it's true!? You basically just signed all of our death certificates. Placed targets on our backs, you did!"

"I said I was sorry," Ivy whimpers, fighting off the tears welling in her eyes. This isn't what she'd wanted. All she had wanted was to have her family be safe from harms way. All she wanted was to protect them.

"No you're not," Cayenne snaps coldly, before turning on her heel and storming out the house. The whole place shakes when she slams the door behind her. Ivy shakes, unable to remove her gaze from the door. She only stops looking when Haymitch envelopes her in his arms. Uncontrollably, Ivy sobs. It seemed as if everything she loved, everything she had ever held close had been snatched from her. First Faustinus, then Gale… and now two of her family members.

The realization makes her grip Haymitch's shirt tighter. She couldn't lose him too. Ivy knew that if she lost Haymitch, her sanity would be gone. Haymitch kept her level, and he kept her alive.

"I love you, sweetheart," he murmurs into her hair. "It'll be okay. I love you." Lies, Ivy thinks. All lies. Nothing will ever be okay in my life.

-x-

She's curled up on their bed when her oldest sister, Jasmine enters. Jasmine was the polar opposite of Ivy, in looks and personality.

Instead of blonde locks and grey eyes, Jasmine had long short dark hair and shining blue eyes. Whereas Ivy was an emotional person as well as very unbalanced, Jasmine was very sane and level-headed, never letting her emotions cloud her thoughts.

"Ivy, look at me," her sister commands. Through her tears, Ivy obeys. Jasmine had never looked so sad in her life. "I want you to buck up and get your shit together. This is not your fault."

"Jasmine, you and I both know it is! I should have just died in that arena!"

"But you didn't, did you? You fought and you came home. You earned your right to life, now live it. Twenty-three children didn't die for you to abuse your right. Now it may not be me going into that arena… I just want you to know I don't blame you. You couldn't have possibly know what would happen after you win. You didn't ask for this to happen. I don't blame you, sis."

"But everyone else does," she spits bitterly. "Especially Cayenne."

"Cayenne feels like you abandoned her. She's hurt. It's probably best you talk to her," Jasmine advises. Ivy can tell she's trying really hard to make things better, so she nods. She didn't want to stress her sister out any further. The last thing she needed, in a situation like this.

Ivy stands and makes her way downstairs where Haymitch had passed out hours ago. After turning him on his side so he doesn't choke on his own vomit, she leaves the warmth of the house to go find her sister.

It doesn't take long to seek out Cayenne. She's at the sweet shop, screaming and overturning things as she cries. When she sees Ivy in the doorway, she glares.

"Come to finish me off, have you?"

"I'm not a murderer," Ivy blinks.

"Sure you aren't. Tell that to the pretty rascal from 4 that you murdered."

"I did what I had to do to survive, Cayenne. You know this."

"Was leaving us to starve while you went to go live in your pretty house with your pedophilic boyfriend surviving too?"

"Yes, actually, it was. I was trying to keep you all alive. You don't understand-"

"What's there to understand, Ivy? Because I think I get it perfectly well! You left us so you wouldn't have to deal with the burden of providing for us."

"That's not why I left you!" Ivy shouts, snapping. Cayenne stumbles back, staring at her sister.

"Then why?"

"Haymitch told me what happens to Victors with families. He told me what happened to his family. I didn't want you all to be at risk, I didn't want my ties with you to get you hurt. I certainly didn't want… this," I say, allowing my hands to rise and fall uselessly by my sides. "All I ever wanted was to protect you. I swear."

"So you left us," Cayenne whispers. Waves of realization wash over her face and she looks back up at me. "You left us… to keep us safe?"

"Complicated huh? That's all my life ever is now. A complicated mess. I love Haymitch, but I'm scared I'll lose him. Madge is my best friend, but I just up her reaping chances by two by knowing her. I need you all in my life, but I don't want to hurt you. Never, do I ever, want to hurt you. I'm sorry I put you all in this mess by winning. I'm sorry I didn't just die."

"I'm sorry too. I spent all those months being angry at you because you were carbon copy of myself and I didn't like being away from you. I didn't like hearing your screams at night… and when Haymitch came to us last year saying that he had been with you all that time… I felt so much hatred that you didn't let me help you, instead letting some man you didn't know soothe your terrors. I didn't understand, and I hated it. I hated not knowing. I'm sorry I didn't try to listen."

"Well I guess that makes the both of us assholes, doesn't it?" Ivy asks, giving a sad smile. "Now people really know you're my twin."

"Yeah, they do, don't they. Well, don't I look stupid."

"Not at all. But we should probably clean up."

"That would be wise," Cayenne agrees, picking up the cash register she had knocked over. "We're going to have to spend a lot of money to get this fixed."

"I have it to spare," Ivy replies. Probably not the best thing to say on her part, but Cayenne shakes her head clear of the angry thoughts that begin to bubble to the surface. She was beginning to get too tired to argue with her sister.

Instead, she shrugs. "I don't think dad will be alright with you lending us money."

"I'm not lending you anything. I'm not even giving it to you. It's your money just as much as it's mine," Ivy murmurs. Cayenne rolls her eyes.

"Whatever you say, sis."

Meanwhile, back at Victor's Village, Haymitch had been pulled aside by Mrs. Pagan, and they are currently outside in the winter snow. She's chewing her lip nervously as he paces, and she hardly flinches when he flips over the snow-coated lawn chair in her daughter's backyard.

"Do you think they've forgotten?" She asks eventually, when he's done raging. Haymitch's eyes flutter closed as he tries to control his breathing, tries to calm down.

"One can only hope. What all does the boy know?" He asks, taking the coat she's holding out to him. In his rage, he'd forgotten to grab a jacket but the goosebumps on his arms were clearly protesting that.

"I'm not sure. He doesn't stop by often, just occasionally with his new friend. Haymitch, how long are you going to wait and tell Ivy?" Mrs. Pagan asks, an eyebrow raised. She glances around nervously to make sure there are no extra listeners, seeing as she'd prefer to keep this secret between herself and Haymitch. Nobody else needed to know... yet.

"Tell Ivy what? That her ex-boyfriend is my son and I've very quite possibly just put his life on the linehere ? Tell Ivy that there was a possibility that I could have wound up being her father-in-law if she hadn't of won. Yeah, that'll sell real well with your borderline insane daughter," he snips. Mrs. Pagan rolls her eyes.

"I'm not saying it's a good idea, I'm just saying she needs to know. If she sees Gale being forced into the reaping, she'll think it's because of her. I can't very well tell her she slept with her brother because Gale looks nothing like us. You have to confess, tell her before she goes insane with thinking there are more people that she's risked."

"Gale was an accident," Haymitch breathes, more so to himself than to his lovers mother. He wanted himself to know that it was an accident. He never meant to get Hazelle knocked up, never mean to betray Fedaline like that. It had been a drunken, mis-directed accident that happened almost twenty years ago.

"So was Ivy and Cayenne. It happens, Haymitch. But she needs to know it's not her fault if Gale appears at the reaping," Mrs. Pagan says wisely.

"I'll tell her," Haymitch agrees. "Just not now. If they remember that he's mine, I'll tell her. If not, then I'll keep her in the dark. What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

"Oh but Haymitch you have to remember," Mrs. Pagan says tiredly, turning on her heel to go back inside. "What's done in the dark always comes to the light."

Another short chapter to accompany the previous one. Well at least it's double-whammy, eh? Alright, move on with your life.