Notes: As ever, thank you so much for your support. A certain, anonymous reviewer may find a section in here that their comment inspired...
There will likely just be one more chapter- unless I add an epilogue.
(First You Have to Tell Yourself Part 2)
Armed with lightly salted popcorn, the two meant to head back for Santana's room. They were stopped however, by a voice coming from amidst the small crowd in the common area. "Hey, Thunder, get over here!"
Santana stopped short, turning to face a rather tall girl with dark blonde hair. "'Lyss, no matter how many times you call me that, I will never, ever, call you 'Lightening'. Besides, your reasoning behind the nickname is entirely flawed."
'Lyss, whose actual name was Alyssa, stepped just a little forward even as Rachel asked, "Why would she call you 'Thunder'?"
"Because she's loud and has a tendency to come in late."
Rachel smiled at the new twist on an old joke, one she recognized immediately as a musician joke. "Does she…" She turned bright eyes on her friend.
"No." Santana affected a stance that she'd been rather famous for in high school. Even though Rachel had been seeing different examples of the same thing since she'd arrived, it was amazing to her how even though it was the same stance, the intention was so different. There was no anger. Santana was just playing with friends. "If you want to talk about 'being late', you'd really need to talk with the wannabe diva who thinks that rubato is implied whether it's written or not."
A couple of the others 'ooh'd at the jibe. "Just because no one else has a sense of musicality…" Alyssa trailed off before recovering, "which will be proved when the solo list's up next week. I killed my audition and not you or anyone else could've done better."
Santana beamed at the girl, obviously pleased despite the nature of their banter. "Oh, I doubt that. Even on your best day, I still know a hobbit princess that could sing circles around you." The initial look of challenge faded slowly as it sunk in what she'd said, who she'd said it in front of, and just how her friends were going to make it worse.
A hobbit princess who sang… Rachel knew that this nickname was hers and she could feel a smile taking over her face. It was an endearment, a sign that she was one of the people who was 'worth the effort'- and the addition of 'princess' to the old name was a pleasant touch.
It was the horrified glance Santana sent in Rachel's direction that started to clue in the others. One of the guys, who by the arm around Alyssa's shoulder, was probably the girl's boyfriend, was the one to say it though. "Holy shit," he pointed at Rachel, "she's the boogieman you're always getting threatened with." He lowered the hand that had been pointing to slap against his leg as he started to laugh. His girlfriend on the other hand, was staring with wide eyed shock at the girl she'd truly believed Santana had invented.
"You've been invoking me to torment your friends?" Rachel's left eyebrow approached her hairline as she asked, and though she tried to keep a serious face, her lips quivered with the need to grin.
"It's possible that after my time in McKinley's glee club that I found a choir without the threat of being upstaged by Rachel Berry to be somehow lacking…"
A few more gentle taunts were passed around, followed by a bit of discussion of the latest music the choir was working on before one of the guys who Rachel hadn't learned the name of invited them to join them for a film, using the common room TV which was significantly larger than the one in Santana's room. Rachel was surprised when, after they gave their assent that the next order of business was: 'So, what should we watch?' She'd really expected that the group would have planned that first, but it was apparently not the case.
Santana, entirely unsurprised was quick to offer, "I'll just go pick something out. We all know I've got the best movies."
Some of the group actually seemed fairly inclined to agree and go along with whatever Santana chose. Alyssa, however, had a stipulation. "No Romero. Period."
"You have one little marathon…" Santana rolled her eyes, "It was in honor of the mushrooms! The poor, decapitated mushrooms!"
She couldn't help it, Rachel snorted at the reminder of the fateful lunch and its less than stunning fare. Santana also couldn't help it; she thought the sound was both hilarious and adorable.
They ended up watching someone's copy of The Fifth Element, one of Rachel's guilty, nerdy pleasures. When some of the others tried as well, she even allowed herself to fully indulge and during the Diva Dance she tried to hit all of the notes- and did hit more of them than the original performer. This feat earned her a number of cheers and a few slaps to the back. Santana put a hand on her shoulder and gave her the brightest smile she'd ever seen from her. It made Rachel feel like the other woman was proud of her and that made her flush with pleasure. Subconsciously she settled back into the couch, a little closer to Santana than she had been before. They had already been sitting fairly close to each other.
It was impossible for Santana not to notice. In fact, she wasn't noticing a good portion of the second half of the film as she continued to notice. It all started with the thought that Rachel was pretty much the perfect size for a Santana-shaped object to hold onto. The train of thought picked up speed, obviously traveling downhill, from there.
Santana considered her strengths. She was intelligent, attractive, most of the time people laughed at her jokes and, again for the most part, she was getting pretty good at the whole 'decent human being with emotions' thing. She had prospects for the future, though they were perhaps a bit vaguer at this point than some. She glanced again at Rachel who had known exactly what she'd wanted before she'd gotten through preschool.
That thought forced her to consider the other hand. Right now they were friends- which was great, except that she had sort of promised herself to never do anything that even vaguely reminded her of the way she'd started her relationship with Brittany all those years ago. Of course, this was different. They were older, and wiser, and all that crap. Santana had also proven that she could maintain friendships with other women without it getting all complicated. So, maybe that wouldn't be a real problem beyond the weirdness of having to say, 'Hey, I've been thinking that what I should have said in that coffee shop was that we should really give this dating thing a go.'
That left the third hand which said that if she thought the whole 'let's not just be friends' conversation would be awkward that she should remember those six years immediately following elementary school. They'd gone to different schools for the first seven years or she'd probably have to count those as well. She'd like to think that before hormones made sex and fear the center of her universe that she'd have been nicer to Rachel but she wasn't willing to count on it. So, yes, there were six years of insults, a slushy here and there, that thing with Finn, a number of other things she didn't really like thinking about all that much… Yeah, she couldn't actually think of how that conversation might go. They were good as friends, but there were different standards for friends and for girlfriends. When you got annoyed with your friends you just didn't hang out for a bit until you got over it. If you got annoyed with your girlfriend you brought up past indiscretions and held them up as proof that the other party was clearly slime. Santana had been on the receiving end of this far too many times, with girls who had far shorter histories with her.
Santana didn't miss the entire end of the film, but it was likely that everyone found her a bit distracted as the larger group broke apart. The two walked in full silence this time on the way back to her room. She hadn't thought anything new, but she was diligently thinking all of the old thoughts, testing them for weakness.
For her part, Rachel was also thinking over something that had been on her mind. She realized that it was kind of a stupid thing and that it shouldn't be any kind of big deal. It wasn't as if it were something odd to ask. It was simply that she really cared what answer she received. When the door was shut behind them she allowed excitement and curiosity to win out over nerves and just came out with it. "So, you know that I have been preparing my senior recital." She continued at Santana's nod, "Well, the date's set for just a week from now and… well, you'd be more than welcome." That wasn't nearly strong enough, "I mean, I'd really like you to be there."
There was no way that Santana was going to be able to say 'no' to the bright, hopeful look she was being given. "I wouldn't miss it." She smiled, "Wow, just a week. You completely ready? Ha, what am I saying? Of course you're ready."
"Well…" Rachel grinned sheepishly, "I'm mostly ready. I picked a challenging range of selections, but I feel really good about them… well, I feel really good about them now, so I suppose that I might not feel so good about them in, say, six days when…" Looking up at the amused, quirked eyebrow that was Santana's response to her rambling, Rachel brought that thought to a halt. "I've been meaning to buy a new outfit, something kind of special, but I haven't been able to make up my mind. I keep going to the shop and then find I can't decide if something's fabulous and flashy or just gaudy and horrible."
That hit Santana in the gut. Rachel didn't even begin to imply it, but she couldn't help thinking that she'd done her part in making the woman in front of her doubt herself in this arena. Probably half of the insults she'd thrown had been about Rachel's attire. Perhaps the girl had worn a few unfortunate outfits, but in another six years they'd all be looking at their high school fashions and wincing in shame. "I'm sure that you'd be able to pull off anything that called out to you."
"Yeah?" Rachel sounded hopeful and doubtful all at once. Half a second later she keyed in to what her comment may have sounded like. "Well… yes, I'm sure it will be fine. I've successfully pulled off 'fine' and even 'quite nice' a number of times. It's just that this time I kind of want 'amazingly amazing' and it would be really comforting to get a second opinion before I put that kind of money into something that I probably won't be wearing all that often."
A slow grin takes over Santana's face at that. "I'm told that I'm infinitely qualified in the art of opinions… Well, ok, I'm told that I'm really opinionated, but it's totally the same thing, right?"
Despite her laughter Rachel managed to say, "I'd be honored to make use of your 'expertise'."
They hadn't been able to meet the day after their little, impromptu movie party, but the day after that found the two women dress shopping. As it turned out, this was not nearly the project that Santana had been lead to believe it would be. Rachel had honestly decided what dress she wanted a while ago, but she'd chickened out on the way to the register twice now. She'd walked directly to it, sighed in relief that it was still there, picked up the hanger and marched into the changing room like she was planning on engaging the enemy.
Honestly, she loved the dress. It really wasn't complicated, it draped over one shoulder and billowed about, slightly toga-esque, and was a shade of yellow that, in Rachel's opinion, seemed to go really well with her skin tone. She thought it made her look exotic. Wearing it she felt like she could leave behind 'moderately attractive', and get to try out 'beautiful'. It was a heady thought, but it also made her worry that she was turning delusional. That was a danger; she'd seen the proof. Rather, she'd been forced to see the proof when she really, really didn't want to. That in mind she steeled herself for judgment and stepped out for her inspection.
Santana felt her jaw unhinge and she fought to keep her lips shut to keep it from being so obvious. She'd been keeping herself in check for weeks now, only very discretely checking Rachel out occasionally. She'd mostly kept her hands to herself apart from innocent, well mostly innocent, incidents like sitting so close during The Fifth Element or that proprietary hand she'd put at Rachel's back at the terrible diner before she'd remembered she wasn't on a date and that the gesture might not have been ok even if she had been. This dress, she decided, was the fashion equivalent of an ambush. She made another decision too. "Buy it. Seriously, it was made for you and if you don't buy that dress it would be a crime against nature, or fashion, or whatever. Just buy it." She'd decided that awkwardness be damned, she'd grovel, make huge, embarrassing gestures, or whatever she had to do, but this 'just friends' business was going to come to an end soon.
First Rachel smiled at the affirmation of her choice. Then she felt chills from the intense look she was being given. They were good chills. In fact, there were more, very pleasant reactions going on. For a moment she remembered a certain Britney Spears experiment. For another half a moment, before she got her head together, she had just enough time to realize that she had actually managed to forget her own name. She liked Santana looking at her that way. She was going to make sure it happened again, as many times as she could manage. What was a little history, anyway?