18 ½ years later…
Amy Lucas-Swan holds tightly to the sides of her seat as the plane starts descending. She hates flying and she can't help but add 'making her get on a plane' to the number of things she plans to yell at her mother for. She makes her way through customs and out of the airport before she turns her phone on. She has 14 messages from Hook. She hopes he stops being mad at her by the time she comes home.
They've known where Emma is for four years. Hook's brother's previous wife works for the State Department and risked his job to find out which embassy she'd renewed her passport at. Neal didn't want to know and Amy understood that he was still mad at his sister for leaving, but she has a right to know where her mom is. Neal had disagreed and the resulting fight lasted nearly six months.
Well fuck him. She's 18 now and she's worked all summer for the last three years to save up for this trip. Neal tried to forbid her from going but this time she didn't need his permission. She got a passport and a plane ticket and when her dad pointed out that London was a big place, Hook had sheepishly produced an address. He'd hired a private detective in London to track Emma down and when Neal had started yelling Hook had just said "Neal, you knew this day was coming. This way is safer than letting an angry teenager storm around London on her own."
She shakes her head to clear it as the train pulls into her station. It's raining hard outside and she pulls up the hood on her faded Old Navy sweater. There's a line of taxis outside the station and she jumps into one and gives the address.
She's shivering, and she's pretty sure it's not from the cold. She's heard about Emma Swan her whole life and now she's moments away from finally meeting the woman who ran rather than raise her. For a long time she blamed herself. If her mom hadn't died giving birth to her, none of this would have happened. That thought hurts, though, so for the last few years she's chosen to be angry instead.
She catches sight of her reflection in the cab window. The black dye in her hair is growing out but her natural color is dark enough that you can't really tell. Her nose stud flashes in the raindrops scattered over the window and her habitual scowl peers back at her.
She looks kind of like Emma when she scowls and that makes her even more pissed off.
The taxi pulls up at the end of the street and she passes the guy some of the weird multi-coloured bills they use here. She gets back some even weirder coins and mutters reluctant thanks.
She checks the door number written on her hand, hoists her backpack onto her shoulder and stomps up the street.
It's a nice house. A little small, but the front yard is neat and there is purple hyacinth growing in the borders. Hyacinths are her favorite flower. She starts to feel a little unsure of herself, but she's come this far.
She strides up the path to the front door and raises a hand to ring the bell, but thinks better of it and hammers on the door, ready to start yelling as soon as it opens.
The door swings open. Amy opens her mouth-
"May I help you?"
It's some middle-aged dude in a sweater vest. Amy just stands there, mouth hanging open. Of all the ways she imagined this going, this was not one of them.
"Um, hi," she manages, "I'm looking for Emma Swan."
The guy is staring at her like she grew another head.
"You're Amy," he says, sounding amazed, and she immediately takes a step back.
"How the fuck do you know my name?"
He laughs incredulously. "You look exactly like your mother."
Amy knows for a fact that apart from her natural hair and her frown, she looks nothing like Emma, which means…
"You knew my mom? I mean, Ruby?"
He shakes his head. "I never met her, but I know her face very well. Emma will be home soon. Would you like to come in and have some tea?"
Suddenly this feels very real. Her instinct is to run, but she refuses to be that hypocritical, so she nods and follows him into the house.
"I'm James," he says, offering his hand.
"Amy," she shakes his hand and he smiles at her. She perches on the edge of an easy chair as he goes through to the kitchen and starts pulling out mugs and boiling water. After a few minutes he comes back and hands her a mug of tea.
They smile at each other awkwardly for a moment.
"Um, dude, I don't mean to be rude, but who are you?"
He laughs again, self-consciously.
"Sorry, I should have said. I'm Emma's boy friend," he says.
Amy's breath leaves her like she's been punched. Her whole life she's heard about the epic love her moms had for each other and how when Ruby died it completely destroyed Emma to the point she couldn't even be a mom anymore and yet she's clearly over it enough to shack up with some British guy. James must see some of the turmoil on her face because he waves his hands anxiously.
"I'm sorry, I believe you must have misunderstood. I'm her friend that is a boy. Amy, you mustn't think Emma has forgotten about Ruby, or you. Please, just…I'm not the right person to explain this, it isn't my place."
He looks conflicted for a moment and then turns towards the door on the far side of the room.
"Let me show you something."
He opens the door and leads her through a corridor and up some stairs until they're standing in front of another door, this one with a keyhole. He reaches up and pulls a key from on top of the frame and unlocks it, before gesturing for her to enter.
The first this she sees when she enters is the sunrise. One entire wall has been painted to show the sun coming up over the sea and Amy recognizes the scene instantly. She has a photo on her bedroom wall that her mom took on their honeymoon that shows exactly the same view. She's always felt a connection to it and seeing it large-scale like this, she starts to tear up without really knowing why.
"Emma and I have only known each other quite a few years," James says quietly, "but I feel like I've known her much longer. When she first came to London she and I shared a house with two other friends. She was broken back then and none of us knew why. She wouldn't talk about herself, her life, at all, but we could all see she was in real pain."
Amy clenches her fists and takes several deep breaths. James keeps talking, his tone sympathetic.
"We knew she was married because she wears a ring and we figured out pretty quickly that she'd been widowed, but I didn't hear Ruby's name or find out about you until she'd been here almost five years."
Amy finally looks away from the mural, only to see the other walls are covered in photos. She recognizes some of them, including the photo of her moms and her brother Henry at Henry's promotion from middle school, but some of them are new. She walks up to one and bites her lip, hard.
Her moms are sitting on the couch in their house, the one she owns, now that she's 18. Ruby is pregnant with her. Emma has both hands on Ruby's stomach and is looking at her wife with absolute love and devotion, and at their feet sits Henry, looking up at them with a dumb grin. For some reason, the sight of Henry is what finally breaks her resolve not to cry. Henry had moved out, and been gone for eight years now, but she still misses that stupid brother every day.
After a couple of minutes she pulls herself together.
"Why did she leave?" She asks James. "Did she ever tell you?"
He hesitates.
"Yes," he admits, "she told me. Something happened a couple of weeks after Ruby died, but… look, it really isn't my place to say. I'm sorry."
She shakes her head. She's starting to feel like the walls are closing in on her. Maybe Neal was right, maybe this was a bad idea. She's beginning to realize that the ideas she's held about her parents for so long don't exactly match reality.
"I need to get out of here," she mumbles, and pushes past James. She goes back down the stairs and heads for the front door when she hears the key turn in the lock.
She freezes as the door opens and Emma backs into the room, shaking her umbrella off outside the door.
"James?" She calls over her shoulder and Amy has heard that voice in home-videos her whole life, but hearing it person makes her gasp.
Emma turns and looks at her.
Amy knows she has her mom's eyes, she's always liked the electric green color, but right now she wishes she didn't, because as soon as their eyes meet Emma turns white.
She doesn't look like a woman whose about to turn fifty, Amy notices with weird detachment. Her hair is darker than it is in Amy's photos and her skin is paler, probably from living in a country where the sun only shines on special occasions, but otherwise age doesn't seem to have touched her all that much.
"Hi," Amy says. James comes into the room behind her.
"Amy's here," he points out needlessly. There's a long moment of silence and he shuffles uncomfortably.
"I'll go and make some more tea," he says and goes into the kitchen.
Emma stares at her for a long time before speaking.
"You look just like Ruby." There's wonder in her tone
"I know," Amy says awkwardly.
"Why are you here?" Emma asks timidly.
"Why did you leave?" Amy retorts automatically and winces.
Emma looks down and doesn't answer for a long moment.
"I didn't… I wasn't fit to be a parent."
"Your boy-toy said something happened, that it wasn't his place to tell me."
"He's not my boy-toy," Emma says and Amy's gaze flicks to the gold ring on her left hand. She's wearing an identical ring on a chain around her neck and suddenly it feels hot against her skin.
"Will you tell me? Please?" Her voice cracks on the last word and Emma takes an automatic step towards her before stopping herself.
"Okay. Okay. Let's sit down."
They sit on opposite sides of the room. Emma takes a deep breath and starts to talk.
It takes less than fifteen minutes. Amy is amazed she isn't screaming by the end. Neal was right, she wasn't ready for this.
When Emma finishes talking she looks at Amy, half ashamed and half hopeful.
"I'm so sorry, Amy," she says, "I've wanted to reach out to you for such a long time, I just didn't think I had the right. But you're here, and there's so much I want to ask you-"
Amy stands abruptly.
"I've got to go. This was a bad idea."
Devastation flashes across Emma's expression, just for a moment, before it's hidden.
"Okay." She says quietly and Amy kind of hates her for giving up so easily. She grabs her backpack and opens the front door.
"It was so good to see you," her mom says in a small voice. Amy chokes back a sob and slams the door behind her.