POSTED BEFORE MIDNIGHT! TAKE THAT, DEADLINES!

Phew...sorry it took so long! Thank you to Guest(or do you prefer Smile?) for your wonderful review, and thank you to Anneliza for that wonderful follow!

Disclaimer: Because I would totally be writing fanfiction if I owned Hetalia.

A side note: Going by East Coast US time. So if you live in England, it's already tomorrow. But not here! So...yeah. That's it, just thought I should let you guys know.

France's lips were soft against England's. The island nation leaned into it, pressing up against France and not pulling away. Francis's eyes were wide. The television in the background had been muted after the 'Happy New Year!' and Britain couldn't say he wasn't grateful. Finally, the two broke apart, breathless.

"Vous n'êtes pasbu?" he asked in a shaky voice.

"I…it's late!" England practically shouted, trying to distract himself from the fire that had moments ago been coursing through his body. "It's after midnight!"

"Oui."

"I'm tired!" Britain yelped. "I think I'll just head up to bed now!"

"Angleterre," France said gently. "It was just a kiss. It…..it didn't mean anything." His voice broke.

"Didn't mean anything?" Now Arthur sounded insulted, and he felt his cheeks flare up. "Is kissing me really that terrible? 'Ohonhon, I am French, I can kizz anyone I like wizout feeling a thing?!'"

"Non, it's just –"

"Do I really mean nothing to you?"

"But Angleterre –"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it!" England wiped his face with his hand, catching a few angry tears. "I'm going to bed. GOOD. NIGHT."

"There's something you should probably see before you head upstairs," France said, his tone a bit dark. He gestured at the television, still mute. England looked at it. "What –?"

Alfred. Fucking. Jones.

Was on top of one of the ball in Times Square.

"Dear God, he better be carrying his cell phone!" England shrieked as he launched himself across the room to the telephone and dialed. The camera crew had zoomed in on the idiotic American. A scowl passed his face as he dug out his cell from his pants and checked the caller ID, but it was erased as he flipped it open with a smile. "Hey Artie!"

"What the hell are you doing?!" he screamed. France snickered, and England shot him a look.

"Right now I'm in Times Square. Rita told me the view from the ball was terrific, so I wanted to see if it was!" Alfred explained, grinning.

"I know that! Do you realize that you are on international television?" Britain yelled. "I am fucking watching you talk to me right now!"

"Really? Cool!" the large country exclaimed, beaming. "Hey, what am I doing right now?" He started dancing.

"The Macarena," England said shortly. "Listen, you not only could get extremely hurt and most likely arrested, you ALSO interrupted my New Year's ki –" He stopped.

"New Year's?" confusion passed Alfred's face. "Dude, it won't be the New Year for a couple hours."

"A couple hours?" Arthur asked. Francis mouthed the words 'time difference.' "Oh. Different time zones. I suppose they just showed a replay of last year…."

"Yeah. I can't wait until the ball drops! The rush, man! The rush!" America said gleefully. "I've also been getting all sorts of texts from my kids."

"Like?" England asked faintly.

"Well, William* and Jennifer* are, like, so pissed," the American said, eyebrows raised, and ignoring the searchlight that was focused on him. "Charlie* is opposing it just because Ree* is so ecstatic about it. Rita, Steven*, and Toby* are pretty happy too. Reni* started texting stuff that's probably better censored and Joshua* being the follower that he is just said 'whatever twin sis texted I agree with.' The rest are pretty worried."

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE ON TOP OF THE BALL IN TIMES SQUARE!"

"Yeah, maybe," Alfred scratched his head. "Hey, someone's yelling at me with a megaphone. Something like 'get down from there!'"

"THEN LISTEN TO THEM!"

"So you want me to jump?"

"NO!"

"Then what do you want me to do?!"

"Sir, will you please –"

"Hey, chill, okay?!" America yelled down at someone – probably the NYC cops – down below. "I'm talkin' with my pal, Artie! He's a smart guy! British!"

"Thank you for that adequate and appropriate description," England said sarcastically.

"No prob.

"I'm exhausted. I'm even more tired from just talking to you. I'm putting France on."

Francis made a 'no no no' sign with his hands. Arthur rolled his eyes and shoved the phone into his hands.

"Bonjour, O Idiot Un."

England sighed and went up the stairs to clear his head of that night's events, and to fall asleep. The last thing he heard was France arguing with America over the phone. Then he fell asleep.

Britain swore there was something sitting on his chest when he woke up. Maybe it was the thing that was sitting on his chest that woke him up. Either way, the fact that there was something on him was confirmed when he nearly at a long brown ponytail.

"That wasn't very nice, aru!" China exclaimed, hopping off him. England scrambled into a sitting position.

"What in the name of all things holy and sacred are you doing here?" he cried.

"I told you it would not be good manners to have him wake up with you on top of him," Japan's reprimanding voice said from outside the room.

"Well, what did you want me to do? It was either me or Ivan, and I don't think any of us would be happy if I had let Russia crush him," China protested.

"Or have NO ONE sit on me at all," Arthur said, panic still etched on his face.

France entered the room, grinning like a madman. "Now mon petit lapin is awake?"

"It was like watching the dead rise," China confirmed.

"I am not a damn zombie," England said sharply, then looked at Francis with despair. "How did they get into my house?"

"I invited them for the eighth day of Christmas," France shrugged.

"How are all these bloody people able to get into the country yet you can't get out?" England asked in anguish.

"Kiku and I came with Ivan," China replied. "Your snow is kind of repelled by him."

"Russia repels British snow?" Arthur muttered.

"Someone called?" the large nation entered the room, Japan running after him and bowing to England.

"I apologize. I tried to stop them all –" he began, but Britain cut him off.

"No, if they're going to run into my bedroom, they all might as well do it," he sighed. "Who else is in my home?"

"Ludwig, Feliciano, and Mathieu are the only others," France ticked them off on his fingers. That caught England's attention.

"Matthew? Not Alfred?"

"Da. Your stupid former colony has gone and gotten himself thrown in jail," Russia said cheerfully.

"England looked at the four other nations in the room.

"I'm going back to sleep."

"Non!" Angleterre, today we are going to the dairy farm!"

"Fuck no."

"But I worked so hard on it! And big brother said –"

"Fuck what he said."

"Italy, you should probably leave England alone."

"He looks as if he is going to kill someone in the near future. I do not wish to be around when he snaps. Sayonara."

"At least someone has sense around here. Japan is going to be the only one left alive today."

"At least try it, aru. Maybe you'll even look as cute as me."

"No."

"Angleteeeeeeeerre…"

"No!"

"WEAR IT."

All the countries turned to look at Ivan, who had started emitting a purple aura. That was never a good sign, and England took the hint.

"Fine. I'll put it on," he said, sulking. Russia's face immediately brightened.

"Good, comrade. The rest of us are wearing ours, so you should too, da?"

"Well, I guess…."

"DA?"

"Yes, yes, alright! Just let me change!" England ran to his room and slammed the door. Shuddering, he looked at the dress he was supposed to put on. It was mostly black, with a skirt that came to his knees and sleeves that came to his elbows to match. They were cuffed with white. Over top of the black dress, he put on a white apron, though this apron covered his torso and extended in frilly cloth that slightly passed his shoulders. To top it off was a white cap.

In other words, it was a traditional British maid dress, with stockings and shoes that buckled to boot.

Arthur exited his room, grumbling but grateful that his dress wasn't as short as France's or Japan's. At least his came below the middle of his thigh.

Carrying himself like a proper lady(it was difficult, he wasn't sure how women were able to do it day in and day out), he walked downstairs. He observed the scene; France was tapping his foot impatiently, sporting a French maid costume while Matthew tried to get Italy to notice him. Italy looked younger in his dress, and almost feminine, while Germany was his polar opposite. England wasn't quite sure how the burly man had fit himself into the tight-looking dress. With great difficulty, he thought to himself wryly. Next was Japan, whose dress was so short that it almost brought a blush to Arthur's face by just looking at him. Russia wore a long dress, perfect for a maid in a snowy climate. He was beaming, and had refused to remove his scarf. Clinging to his arm was China, who if Arthur didn't know better, would have assumed was a girl. Though he lacked certain womanly parts, his dress was loose enough and his body was curvy enough for him to be a lady

Goddamit, they were all cross-dressing fools that were going to go and milk cows for the day.

"Come one, everybody in!" he said crossly, getting into his car. France climbed into the passenger seat, and the rest squeezed back there, with the exception of throwing both Italy and Canada in the trunk. It was a tight fit, but it work.

"Why didn't you put China in there with them? She – I mean, he's small enough to fit back there," France whispered as they got on the highway.

"Russia would have probably thrown me out the window if I'd even suggested it," Britain shivered. "That is not on my agenda for today."

"Neither was milking cows with most of the G8."

"This is different."

"Of course."

"This seems like fun~! C'mon Germany, let's go pick a cow to milk!" Italy immediately had said, grabbing the German and dragging him in the direction of the barn.

"Ludwig, you fool! You must call me Ludwig when we are around citizens!" he hissed.

"I shall go find my own cow. Perhaps I shall discover what India finds so sacred about them," Japan said, walking off on his own as well.

"How does that guy have so much energy after being crammed in a trunk for an hour?" Canada moaned, rubbing his neck.

"I already apologized once. You're not getting another."

"I am going to go milking cows as well. We do this a lot in Mother Russia," Ivan said cheerfully. Turning to Yao, he said, "Did you know that in Soviet Russia, cows milk you?"

"Really?!" China looked interested. "How do they do that? They don't have opposable thumbs! Or any fingers at all!"

"Come and Mother Russia will tell you…."

The two walked off, leaving France and England alone.

Oh yes, and Canada. Let's not forget about Canada.

"So how long will it take Alfred to get out of jail?" France asked, ignoring the strange looks people were giving them.

"As long as it takes Victoria and Charlotte to tunnel their way into the US bank," Matthew said solemnly.

"Tunnel? Couldn't they just ask for the money?" Arthur asked.

"No, the national bank in DC won't give money to the states, especially those two. Hector hasn't given his permission," Canada explained. "He's a pretty smart kid."

"But tunneling still seems a bit extreme," Arthur said worriedly.

"At least it'll get Alfred out of jail sooner," Francis said optimistically.

"I don't know about that," Matthew said, skeptical. "They were planning to tunnel their way in using spoons."

"This isn't as bad as I thought it would be," England said brightly, milking a cow named – what would you know – Bessie. "It smells better than I thought it would."

"Mmm," France said, making a face.

"What's wrong with you?"

"My maid outfit doesn't match this cow's hide," he answered distastefully.

"You are fucking kidding," Britain snorted.

"Black and white mix terrible with this tan. The colors don't lie, mon petit lapin."

"You're a wanker."

"It's not my fault that you were born with a shitty sense of fashion."

"If you two don't stop cursing, I'm afraid I might have to kick you out," a disapproving female voice said. The two looked up to see a woman in overalls walk towards them.

"Sorry," England said in a small voice.

"Desole," France murmured. "It is just two friends bickering, madame."

The woman looked flustered, and confused at the attire they were in. "Oh, well…..the others milking might feel a bit uncomfortable with the words you're using. What happened to you two? Lost a bet?"

"The cursing shall not happen again," France said gravely. She smiled at him. "As for the dresses, we are experiencing what it might have been like for maids back in the Victorian era and such." The lie slid easily off his lips, followed by a truth. "I believe my bucket is full."

"That's very good. The one collecting should be coming around soon; you can keep it on your lap for now," she said. Arthur snorted. She was obviously charmed by France, and though this worked in their favor, he couldn't help but feel a bit jealous.

"Merci. You are very kind. My friend Arthur here –" He gestured at England. " – is sometimes very rude."

"I am not, you frog."

The woman gasped, and pink stained her cheeks. "How dare you call him –"

"Relax, cher," France laughed. "He had called me that ever since we were enfants. My name is Francis, yours?"

"I-it's Mary," she giggled.

"Like the Queen of the Scots, and you see what we did to her," Britain muttered, earning a sharp glare from both of them. "What?"

"You are an idiot," France sighed. Then, turning back to Mary, he said, "He can be quite nice when he wants to. There was one time that resulted in someone named Jacques –"

England stood up with a clatter(really, he was beginning to have a newfound awe of women for being able to manage anything in skirts) and forcefully shoved Francis's face in his bucket of milk. Mary gasped. "Sir –"

"YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER BRING THAT UP AGAIN, YOU BASTARD!"

"It kind of just slipped out of my mouth," France spluttered, spitting out the fresh milk. "Also, this is the second time you've ruined my hair in as many days."

"When did I ruin it yesterday, shit face?"

"When you pushed me into the lake!"

"France, my dear wanker, you forced me to go watch swans and then mocked how THEY could swim and I can't!"

"Well, it's pretty pathetic considering you were one of the greatest pirates at one point in history!"

"Swimming is a useless skill when you're trying to win the fucking French and Indian War!"

"Well at least I helped America earn his freedom!"

"And look where he is now! Jail!"

"At least Ree and Charlie are trying to get him out!"

"BY TUNNELING INTO THE US BANK IN DC USING SPOONS!"

"Oh my God, you're both crazy," Mary muttered, falling down. The two screaming countries looked at her.

"Eh….."

"Perhaps this is a good time to get the others and get out?"

"Oui."

The two backed up slowly, so as not to frighten her(or any of the other milkers who had started recording the fight on their phones), and then took off at a run. As they neared the exit of the barn they were in, a man came flying through the wall.

"What they bloody –?"

"We need to go. Now," Matthew said in a no-nonsense tone. "The Axis Powers are already in the car, they finished up early."

"Matthieu, why did a man just come flying through the wall?" France asked, pale.

"I'll explain later! We need to go NOW!" Canada emphasized grabbing the two countries' hands and dragging them towards the car. Snapping out of their state of shock, France and England began to run again.

"Where have you been?" Germany asked. "I brought wurst and was waiting for you all to show up so we could eat lunch."

"We'll eat on the road," England said hurriedly. "Where are Russia and China?"

"They're running here now," France pointed at the fast approaching figures, one giant and one on the small side.

"Okay. Okay. CANADA! GET IN THE HATCH WITH ITALY!" Britain yelled. With a squeak of surprise, the North American country grabbed the smaller one and jumped in the hatch. Russia and China finally got to the car, out of breath, and the larger nation closed the hatch as China got in.

"Drive drive DRIVE!" China yelled. England floored the gas pedal, and they were off like a bullet.

"What the HELL happened?!" the island screeched as they drove away from the dairy farm.

"I don't want to talk about it," China said quietly.

"Yao Yao doesn't want to talk about it," Russia repeated, though louder and in a much more threatening voice.

"I think I have the right to know what's going on!" England yelled.

"Well, why were you in trouble?" Germany asked.

"We got into an argument," Arthur gripped the steering wheel. "We forgot that there were citizens."

"We brought up our country names –"

"And my pirate days –"

"Then I mocked his swimming –"

"And we yelled about the wars in North America –"

"And America getting arrested."

"And that's basically it."

"And we did this all very loudly. Now spill what happened to you two."

"You are unbelievable," Germany shook his head. "I doubt anything that happened to you was that exciting."

Russia glared at him and China sank lower in his seat.

"I wouldn't say that," mused France. "I suspect you were behind the man that flew threw the wall as we were leaving."

"You threw a man through a wall?" Japan asked, disbelief in his voice.

"He deserved it," Russia said darkly.

"What on Earth did he do?" Now Britain was really curious.

Ivan looked at China, who sighed. "Well, if you won't stop badgering me, fine." He took a deep breath.

"He mistook me for a….a girl," China began, flushing scarlet. "And then he tried to feel my nonexistent boobs."

"And then I picked him up and threw him," Ivan said, grinning deliriously.

"Ouch," France winced.

"He mistook you for a girl?" Germany asked incredulity.

"Well you look rather feminine," Arthur pointed out, earning an elbow in the ribs from France.

"From the scream he let out, you would think that the Huns were invading," a quiet voice said from the trunk.

"It was not that loud, aru!" China exclaimed, flustered. "Who said that?"

"Canada."

"Oh. Well, how would you know what I said?" the old nation asked uncomfortably.

"I believe it was something along the lines of 'Damn that Mongolia, can't he just stay on his side of the wall?'" Japan deadpanned.

"How do you know that?!"

"I had just formed at the time. You know how impressionable children are."

"I hate you all."

"Even me, Yao Yao?"

"No. Everyone but you, Ivan."

"Good bye! Don't hesitate to stay in your own country!" England called to the others. "Honestly. I can't believe them."

"Oh, don't worry Angleterre, they'll be back again tomorrow," France said slyly.

"What do you mean?!"

"Oh, nothing. For now I want to talk about that New Year's kiss."

"...what about it?"

France pulled England tight and pressed his lips to the island. Britain's eyes widened slightly, but slowly he melted into the kiss.

"Je t'aime."

"I think I might just love you too, you frog."

*Rita - New York

*William - Massachusetts

*Jennifer - Minnesota

*Charlie(aka Charlotte) - Virginia[edited from Maddi. Her original name WAS Charlotte, but I had forgotten, and put Madeline instead. But now it's all fixed!]

*Ree(aka Victoria) - Maryland

*Steven - Colorado

*Toby - Texas

*Reni(full name is Katherine) - South Carolina

*Joshua - North Carolina

My OCs. You no takey without permission.

Guess who remembered time zones! AND FIXED HER MISTAKE!

Yup, Alfred got himself thrown in jail...and Maryland and Virginia are trying to get the bail money by breaking into his bank by tunneling to it.

With spoons.

Oh dear Lord.

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