Chapter 10
Strange

Lilo curled in the corner of the walk in cooler. Besides herself, Puka, and a box of something that smelled strangely of broccoli (which she absolutely refused to go near), the room was completely empty. It wasn't as cold as she'd expected it to be in the cooler since the owners of the theme park hadn't used it for possibly several years. She assumed it must've been malfunctioned. The handle was broken from the inside but even if she did figure out a way to somehow open it, she was still cornered. The Joker had established one of his goons on the outside to make sure she didn't possibly discover a way to escape.

She saw the shadow of the man descend into the faint light coming out of the window every now and then to check and make sure she wasn't up to any mischief. There wasn't much for her to do anything besides sleep. She lay down and positioned herself in the most comfortable place available on the cold concrete. With Puka curled up against her stomach and under an arm like a fluffy tale-less kitten, she felt surprisingly rather snug. It was only a minute before she fell into a dream.

"Still no luck, pumpkin?" It was little past three a.m. and Joker was still at work on that camera. Harley strode into his workroom bearing some coffee for him. She knew just how he liked it; three sugars with extra cream. He'd most certainly needed it after staying up this whole time.

The very minute Lilo had been taken away, Joker had begun his work on the video recorder. After some prying and wrenching, they'd discovered that the camera wouldn't open or operate for some strange reason. He'd even had one of the stronger looking men try and prize it open. His attempts had been about as fruitful as if he were trying to squeeze water from a rock. After realizing brute force wouldn't get him any closer to discovering the secrets hidden within the tiny tin, Joker regrouped. He went about collecting a few items, intending to confront the problem with, hopefully, some better approaches.

"Nothing," he answered tossing away a screwdriver he'd used to pick at the indent where the screen was suspected to be hidden under. He took the coffee mug from his girlfriend without thanking her and sipped slowly. He rested his cheek on his fist and he pondered over the camera. "This is one tough tin. What the hell could she be hiding in here?"

"Maybe it's just locked." Harley suggested picking it up to examine. It was a pretty mint green color with silver lines crisscrossing over the surface where the pieces held together. Harley felt it was rather strange that there was no screw holes drilled in to hold the covers in place. Maybe it's just a new manufacturing technique, she thought. These new models were sorta weird. "Maybe it needs a key is all?"

"Who would put a lock on a camera?" Joker demanded, slamming his mug down and splashing a little coffee on the table.

"Ah, ya got me, puddin. Maybe the kid has something to hide. Or maybe she just doesn't like snoopers."

"I sure hope it's something juicy." He groaned leaning back and allowing his girlfriend to run her fingers tenderly through his dark green hair. "I'll really be peeve off it there's nothing in here but home movies and stupid school programs."

"No one would get an automatic lock for a camera unless they had something worth hiding." Harley counseled moving her fingers from his hair to give him a relaxing neck massage.

"It'd better be." He hissed leaning back and closing his eyes to indulge with the pleasure of Harley's rub down. "After I did all that work for nothing."

"The only thing left is, what'll we do with the stuff we get out of it?"

"Who knows? We need to see it before we start making plans."

"This'll be interesting, won't it, puddin."

Joker smiled. "Yes, it most certainly will be."

"Zim! What are you doing here?" Lilo cried, pointing accusingly at him. He was in her kitchen back home, seated at the table and reading a newspaper. He looked up at her with a mouth full of… waffles. Stitch sat next to him, munching happily on his own plate. Off to the side she saw the toaster and a blender bobbing independently in midair. The tablecloth was a bright purple with big yellow smiley faces all over it. The scene was completely bizarre.

GIR popped up suddenly bearing another big plate of sticky waffles and handed them to her. She caught them just before they splattered all over her red and white floral shirt.

"GUESS WHO MADE WAFFLES!" He cried gleefully. Before she could respond, the little dog was pushing her towards the table where she was shoved into a seat next to Zim.

"But, I usually just have some cereal for breakfast." She said, trying to dismiss the gooey snack handed to her.

"GIR's waffles are great." Zim said flipping the page of the paper and taking a big bite of more waffle. "Quit wining and eat your food, earth girl." Stitch nodded and shoved the whole tower into his mouth, chomping and smacking his lips happily, while GIR replaced his empty plate with a brand new one stacked even higher.

Lilo studied her plate suspiciously. She trusted GIR not to poison her. After all he hadn't the last time she had a snack with him. Zim, on the other hand, might've done something to the batter while everyone wasn't looking. Then again, she was pretty hungry and nothing seemed to be happening to Stitch…

She speared a big chunk and opened her mouth wide. But before she could even taste it…

"AHHHH!" Zim yelled pointing in horror at the door. "The evil zombie mime solders I keep in your garage have escaped AGAIN and have summoned up the dark powers of the universe to create a demon army of terrorist leprechauns to do their evil bidding." Lilo's mouth closed as what Zim just described rushed into the kitchen and attacked the green alien. They didn't even pay any attention to the rest of the occupants. They merely seemed to be concerned with tearing Zim apart. Lilo watched in blank amazement with her best friend and the little robot as the creatures began to beat up the invader for whatever reason.

"GAH! OOF! ACK!" Zim yelled as the zombie mimes grabbed him by the nap of his shirt and pounded his head over and over again into the floor. Then three of the terrorist leprechauns heaved him into the air and let him fall smack down on his face.

At last, once they were satisfied that they 'd beat him up enough, the monsters fled in all direction at the exact same time. Zim crawled back to the table dragging his weak frame to his chair. He was burnt, bruised, bloody, and maimed… but other than that he seemed to be all right.

"What happened?" Lilo and GIR said in unison. Stitch had his mouth full of waffles at the moment.

"Eh they got bored and flew away." He shrugged and turned back to his breakfast shoveling in mouthfuls of sticky goodness.

Lilo shrugged too. She knew she should've been more troubled, responding to his encounter with something like, "Uh… Hello! You just got a butt-whoopin' from a bunch of mutant zombie monsters—and you're not even upset?" But somehow the energy needed to summon up enough concern just seemed too exhausting, so she just brushed it off.

Her one concern for the moment was getting her stomach filled with some waffles. She impaled a big piece and took a bite and tasted… air. She looked back at her fork and there wasn't anything there. Where the heck? She turned and saw Dib holding the fork away from her, a frantic look in his eyes.

"Don't eat that, Lilo! You don't know what he did to it."

"But, Dib," She wined feeling her stomach growl and reaching for her food. He held it away from her speaking with a "this-is-for-your-own-good" tone.

"I can't let you. Zim is evil! He could've done something horrible to it."

"But Stitch ate it and nothing's happening to him!"

"Nothing yet." Dib said waving a finger at Lilo. "STITCH, DON'T EAT THAT FILTH!"

The blue dog didn't listen to him, only continued to shovel mouthfuls of sticky goo in his already full mouth.

"Come on, Dib, I'm really hungry." She pinned him with her most pitiful expression, making her eyes big and brown and capable of making any cold heart melt with the mere glance. His expression softened and he sighed.

"Well… alright. But let me take the first bite, okay? Then you can avoid whatever happens to me." Lilo shrugged and Dib popped the piece into his mouth. His eyes swiveled to the ceiling, as he tasted it experimentally. He swallowed and tested his fingers, making sure everything was in order. "It seems to check out." He waited for a moment. When satisfied he handed it back to Lilo. She speared another piece, licking her lips as she brought it to her mouth.

"Hee hee hee." Dib chuckled beside her. She paused to see what was so funny. "N-nothing." Dib snickered, covering his mouth. She eyed him suspiciously before finally putting the piece in her mouth.

Yum! GIR sure does know how to cook. These are great!

She opened her mouth to put another piece in. Suddenly Dib burst into more laughter and she paused, open-mouthed, to gawk at him. He laughed harder and harder till he was bent over and holding his sides from the strain. Lilo set her fork on the table and jumped down from her chair to his side.

"Dib what's wrong with you?" This wasn't normal laughter. Dib never laughed this hard for no reason… he never laughed this hard period! He fell over and began rolling on the floor with his building mirth.

"I-I-I d-don't know what's wr-wrong with (snort) m-m-me!" Ha cackled holding his side and tearing up with pain. "It's like HEE, HEE, HEE, I can't s-s-stop AHAHAHAH l-l-laughing!"

For one horrible moment, Lilo realized it was from the waffles. But Stitch wasn't reacting this way. "Zim! What did you do to the waffles?" She grabbed his shirt and shook him viciously.

"Nothing." He cried, trying to pry her fingers from the neck of his shirt. "I have done nothing to the waffles that were suppose to be for Lilo. Zim does not even know how to cook waffles."

Lilo realized she believed him. It wasn't like Zim to deny a perfectly horrible plan of his that had succeeded in harming his greatest foe. One thing she knew about the irken was that he loved to brag, and this would've been a perfect chance for him to boast of his supposedly brilliance.

Lilo released the green alien and rushed to Dib's side who was now doubled over and holding his gut to the current stream of giggles. She saw water dripping from his face. "AHAHAHAH! HEE, HEE, HEH th-they h-h-hurt. HA HA HA! I d-d-don't get it! I (snort) just c-can't stop l-l-laughing! It's f-fre-eaking m-m-me out!"

"Dib…" What could she do? There wasn't anything she could do and it was scaring her worse than anything ever had before.

Dib's head threw back and he cackled to the sky with a sickening glee that wasn't his own. Lilo jumped back, startled as he began to grow. Dib's voice seemed to fade into some other heinous chortle as he grew taller than her and then still higher than the fridge. As he grew, he morphed. His skin bleached and his black hair established a greasy green tint to it. His face stretched with a pointed chin and a sharp nose to match. His black boots, pants, and trench coat faded into a purple tuxedo and white and black loafers. This was no longer Dib, she realized with open-mouthed horror.

The Joker's laughter faded and his face turned down to gaze at the children with a curling smile. When they looked into his face he had no pupils. There were just two white orbs staring at her with a look of pure, terrorizing vice.

The kitchen was suspended, frozen into shock and dread. All Lilo could do for a minute was stare with terror. Finally she found her voice though it came out in something like a squeak. "W—where's Dib?"

He rubbed his hands together and bared down on her. "Why would you need that little punk when you've got two new parents, Doll Face?" Harley appeared suddenly beside him holding him affectionately around the neck and winking at Lilo who backed away.

"We've been waiting for you, Lilo."

Joker held his arms out for her, as if expecting the girl to rush into them. She turned and began running. Strangely enough she wasn't getting anywhere. No matter how hard she pushed her legs she remained stubbornly in that tiny spot. She stopped to catch her breath and realized there was a hook secured to the back of her shirt. Not only that, but she had been running on ice the entire time.

"Where do you think you're going?" Joker growled from the very back of his throat. It was so unlike the insane laughter coming from him before. Lilo's heart missed several beats as she shut her eyes tight for when he would snatch her.

"HEADLESS CLOWN!" A tiny green dog sailed through the air and tackled the Joker, squealing with delight. "My headless clown. They finally sent me the headless clown! YAY!"

"GIR!" Zim cried coming around as the robot was dancing in circles on the man's head. "Heel, heel you bad robot—eh I mean dog!"

"But my clown. MY CLO-OWN!" GIR cried, hugging the man's neck until he turned blue with the grip.

Why in the world isn't Joker shoving the dog away? Lilo mused, staring blankly at the absured sight. That's what he normally would do.

Zim grabbed GIR by the collar and tore him off the man himself, saving the Joker the trouble. When he got back up, Joker was smiling as if it didn't bother him in the slightest.

Before, Lilo thought this dream was strange, but now this was just flat out weird. He should've been caught in a swirling fire of fury right about now and he was patting GIR happily on the head.

"That's alright, sonny! I love orange!"

"But what does orange have to do with anything?" Lilo cried throwing her arms out in disbelief for this wacky vision.

"Isn't orange your favorite color?"

"Well yeah! But no one is wearing any orange! There isn't a trace of it in this whole kitchen!"

"Look at me!" Stitch said walking in her line of sight. He held his arms up in a gesture of victory as he proudly displayed his new groove.

"STITCH!" Lilo cried her narrow eyes going the size of saucers. "You're… you're…"

"MAGENTA!" He cried happily. "How do you like it?"

She wanted to say that the new shade didn't suit him in the least, but the expectant look he cast her, was so hopeful for her approval, she couldn't bear to upset him. She smiled and nodded with approval. His ecstasy was worth the lie. He cheered and danced around the room with GIR. Quite suddenly a disco ball appeared from out of the ceiling and the lights were replaced with shining beams of colors coming from the floor.

In only a mere second, the kitchen had transformed into a dance floor, and in the next everyone was swinging to the tune of the Hampster Dance.

Even Joker and Harley Quinn were waltzing across the floor.

Okay, now this is just plain crazy! Lilo thought, avoiding GIR as he twisted past her. "I should probably be waking up now." She anounced over the music as she was waving her fairwell. "So goodbye everyone!" And good riddance, she added silently when the images began to blur from sight.

Okay.

I just HAD to make a crazy dream for Lilo. My original idea was to make it a really really scary nightmare as you probably expected when Dib transformed into the Joker... but you know I just could't do it. It would make it weird for the development of the story for some reason. So I just made her have a normal weird dream.

Believe it or not, but I once dreampt of a terroist leprechaun too, and he was running people over in a voltzwagon-like the one Nani had in the first two movies.