Title: The Babysitter

Author: Azure K Mello

Part: 10?

Pairing: Angel/Spike

Rated: R

Type: AU

Summery: Willow meets Will.

Thank you to snowpuppies for the plot bunny inspired by On the Other Side. I want more of that soon!

Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS.

Willow opened the door sporting resolve face, "I want it on the record that I think beaching the night before a big test is a bad idea."

"What test?" asked Will looking perplexed.

"The one he's studying for with your mom."

"He's not back yet?" Will saw slightly scared of this extremely intense redhead.

"No, he's cramming."

"Oh," Will shuffled his feet and studied the floor, "Maybe. . . maybe I should leave the picnic and you could help him study." He swallowed hard and nearly choked on his disappointment. It was stupid. It was December, freezing. What was there to do at the beach in December? Retarded to get so excited about sand. He handed her the two bags and said, "Sorry."

Willow opened her mouth to apologize as she saw how upset he was. But Will almost ran down the hall, around the corner, and hit the call button for the elevator. Will kicked the door as he wished it would hurry up. They slid open and Will sighed in relief. "Hey." He looked up and saw Angel leaning against the back wall.

Shutting his eyes tightly Will just barely held back the tears that were threatening to fall. He was being selfish, Angel had a big test and Will just wanted to walk on the beach and pretend that Angel loved him. So instead of being selfish he kissed the edge of Angel's mouth. "I left lunch with Willow and she's gonna help you study for your big test. Call me later? I mean if you have time." And then he made a mad dash to the stairway.

Face like thunder Angel stormed into his and Willows apartment, "What the fuck just happened?"

"What?" asked Willow looking confused.

"I don't know, Wills, what made him run down the fucking stairway so that I wouldn't see him cry?"

"What?"

"What did you say to him?"

"I just said that I thought it was a really bad idea to go beaching the day before a test. And he got really upset and left." Angel sighed. "What?"

"He thinks you hate him. Or he thinks he's taking up too much of my time. Or he thinks that I asked you to brush him off for me. I have to find him."

"You have to study at some point, Angel."

"Will can help me on the beach." Angel grabbed the lunch bags.

Will parked his DeSoto and slammed his head into the steering wheel. Even being in the presence of his baby wasn't helping. His parent's had bought the car for him as an incentive to not slip up in this new life, a life away from the old one in England. They didn't want him to join a gang. . . his parents were clueless. If a boy lusted after a 1957 Firedome it wasn't really likely that he was apt to incite mindless mob violence. He wanted to sink into his leather bench seats and never face the outside world again. Instead he went up to the house. The door was locked and Will put his ear to the door and heard a soft ticking. His father had reset the alarm. Sometimes he hated his father's foresight.

Sighing, he braced himself for the noise as he turned the key in the lock. The ringing registered in the back of his mind, as did his father's presence as the man walked out of the kitchen. He walked straight up the stairs without stopping to look at the dead girl on the wall. He bolted his bedroom door and locked the three locks; he believed in privacy. Finding his cd player under a pile of dirty clothes he started to blast Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. And wished he was dead as he lay on the floor crying.

He'd figured it out. There were two options. Either that Willow girl disliked him. Or Angel had told her to get rid of him. As he lay on his bed he considered both possibilities; neither made him happy. Was he a totally fool to believe that the night before had meant anything? He had wanted Angel to like him badly. He wanted to be liked for being who he was. Cordelia had loved him but he wasn't always sure why. He had a theory though. Angelina Jolie held starving children in refugee camps. Sarah Michelle Geller built houses for the homeless. Cordelia Chase hung out with a loser and smiled while doing it. All celebrities did charity work and she did hers with grace. She had met him just after his whole "Cecily Phase". And she had seen how scared and alone he was and she had taken him under her protection. Over time she had grown fond of him; had grown to love him. But she didn't love William, she loved the idea of him. Cordelia loved her pet project.

He sat up and saw his own tear stained face in the mirror. He had no make-up on. The last time he had gone that long without make-up he had been 15. He didn't know who he was kidding: he wasn't strong enough to not wear his mask. He wasn't someone's lover. He was a no one, a rock star, a freak, a pet project, not Angel's boyfriend. As he pulled himself back together as he sat up and applied his veneer with shaking hands. His hands were skilled and he needed no mirror to know what he was doing. When he finally glanced back at the glass he smiled. Because he didn't see a guy who Angel would never love: he saw a freak. And just as he relaxed into the music he heard a knock at the door. And the knock was familiar.