Chapter Ten
She had rolled over in her sleep. One bare leg was caught between his own and her arm was wrapped firmly around him. Her head was tucked under his chin. He had been awake for a long time, not moving for fear of waking her. She seemed to be sleeping so deep he probably could have screamed in her ear and barely gotten a reaction, but he kept himself still regardless. The large shirt she had warn to bed had ridden up her back when she moved around, exposing a good amount of skin. He traced lazy patterns against the softness there at the small of her back, knowing that this may be the only time he got a chance to do this. Eventually they would be back on the road and there would be no quiet moments to just be with her.
Occasionally his fingers would brush over a scar and he would trace it carefully, wondering when and how she had gotten it. When he had woken up, what felt like hours ago, he had been terrified that she would wake up and realize that he was sporting a severe morning erection that was straining against the flimsy shorts, pressing right up against her stomach. But he had had plenty of time to tame that traitorous beast and she hadn't woken up to find him in that embarrassing position.
One of his arms were trapped between them and had fallen asleep a while ago. He knew he wasn't going to be able to even move it once she wasn't mostly lying on it but he didn't care about this fact either. At the moment, for the first time in a very long time, Daryl Dixon really didn't have a care in the world. If he let his mind think about what may or may not happen once she woke up and found herself in this position then maybe he would care but he wasn't letting himself do that.
"You have no idea how good that feels," her voice was muffled from where her face was pressed into neck.
He went still when he heard her voice, his fingers stopping as he waited for her to pull away. Then her actual words penetrated his panic and he relaxed again, continuing on with his timid explorations of her skin.
"How long you been awake?" He whispered, opening his eyes to the dimly lit room.
She shrugged delicately. "Long enough," he felt her lips turn up and then realized that those lips were less than a breath away from his throat.
Surely she hadn't been awake through his battle with morning wood. His face flamed at the thought and then he felt her breath as she laughed softly. He huffed. He hated to do it but it was time to face the day. They needed a plan. He needed to talk to Rick about what their next move might be. She sighed heavily and rolled onto her back.
"I should have known not to say anything. You're so sweet when you think I'm sleeping." He followed suit and glanced at her. She was staring up at the ceiling, looking petulant.
"I gotta get outta these stupid clothes and figure out what the hell we're gonna do in a few days. You'll be ready to go by then."
She nodded and then her eyes slid over, locking onto his. "Thank you for not letting me kick you out. I don't think I've slept that good in a long time."
He nodded, like he had only done it as some great favor to her. She knew what he was doing and rolled her eyes. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily. He really didn't want to leave the bed. He really didn't want to leave her but now that she was conscious, he couldn't think of a reason to just lay there with her without things getting awkward.
"Five more minutes?" She asked suddenly.
He yawned and then looked at her. "Five more minutes?"
She nodded and sat up, placing a hand on his chest and shoving hard. His head hit the pillow hard and he turned his head to stare at her with wide eyes. She laid back down and burrowed into his side, her arm wrapping around his torso and her head using his arm for a pillow. That was something he never would have guessed. She was damn bold in the morning.
"Yes. Just five more minutes and then everything can go back to normal," she said, sounding almost sad.
"What's normal?" He asked.
She pulled the blanket up higher and closed her eyes. "Normal is hard. Normal is lonely. It's cold."
Instinct had him wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer into his side. He didn't say anything because he wasn't sure what to say. He hated that what she said was the truth. The series of events that took place last night, from the startling kick to the nose to her getting caught without any clothes on had led them to a near perfect moment. He was too damn jaded to assume it was going to last. Good things didn't. They were walking proof of that. So he indulged her and five minutes turned into ten and ten minutes turned into both of them falling back to sleep.
An undetermined amount of time later Daryl woke to the sound of someone knocking. He rolled back over onto his back and looked up at the door just as it opened. He was expecting Rick. It wasn't Rick. It was Glenn. He sat up quickly as Glenn's eyes widened as much as they could.
"I... er... I thought you were out hunting. I was just... I thought I'd see how Carol was..." He cut off his words and smiled. "Carry on," he motioned and then backed out of the room.
Daryl sighed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. Son of a bitch. He didn't want this. Rick coming in was okay but now Glenn thought that there was more to this than there was. Carol hadn't even stirred and when he glanced at her his eyes widened. The blanket they had used had worked its way off of her legs. All Glenn was probably able to see was her naked thigh. Daryl covered her up before she caught him staring at her and then shook her shoulder.
She opened her eyes and then instantly sat up. "We fell asleep."
"Yeah, and Glenn came in for a wake up call," he said gruffly as he slid out of bed. "At least now everybody will have somethin' to talk about."
She got up and pulled on a pair of jeans he had never seen before but wouldn't mind seeing more of. She turned around, her back to him. "That bothers you, doesn't it? That they would think the wrong thing?" She asked over her shoulder and then his eyes went wide as she shrugged right out of the shirt, giving him a view of her back.
He couldn't think about her question until she slipped a dark tank top over her head. When he was finally able to think he kind of surprised them both. "Nah. Gives them somethin' less depressin' to think about I guess."
She turned around, her eyes bright. I'll go ahead and get your clothes," she said as she walked past him. "They might still be damp but I'm sure you don't want to walk around in that all day. No matter how adorable you look."
She was out the door so she didn't hear him snort loudly.
~H~
Carol breezed through the living room, avoiding the eyes of the others as they watched her pass. She did the same in the kitchen. She walked right out the back door wordlessly, retrieved Daryl's clothes where she had hung them on the banister then hurried back through the house. No one said anything as she passed but she knew they were all burning with curiosity. She hoped her face wasn't as red as it felt. Maybe she wouldn't be embarrassed if her and Daryl had actually done something the night before but their whispering was wasted. It was a very innocent night. It was a perfect night, actually. She almost hated that it would be sullied by a couple of dirty minds.
She entered the room and tried not to smile. He was standing in front of the window, arms crossed, hair disheveled. He looked so much different in such casual clothes. She touched his arm and was surprised when he nearly jumped out of his skin. He spun around. She couldn't help but wonder what had his thoughts so consumed that he hadn't even heard her. It wasn't like him.
He took the clothes from her and nodded.
"No morning show either?" She raised her brow and smiled as his face reddened. "Okay, I'll go."
She headed downstairs leaving him in peace for now. She felt much better than she had after her and Rick's less than daring rescue. She felt more rested than she had in a long time. Those were all good things. There was just one thing troubling her, however and the thing that troubled her was just one irritating question. Why? Why had Daryl taken her last night? Why had he insisted on sharing her bed? It was those things that had a frown forming between her brows. The thing about Daryl was, she was almost certain he had already given her everything he had to give, and she didn't take that lightly. He was her friend. He was a provider and a protector. And after secretly wishing he could give her that last little bit for a long time, she had given up believing that he had it in him to give.
She hated to admit it but it was frustrating. It wasn't that she wasn't happy with what he had already offered. But after this morning, all she could think about was more. And more wasn't an option. It was frustrating. She made her way out to the barn to relieve whoever was on watch. It turned out it was Sasha and Michonne.
"How was your night?" Rick asked from behind her.
She sighed and sat down on a moldering bale of hay. "It was restful. How was yours?"
He sat down next to her and shrugged. "It was fitful." He chuckled and glanced at her from under the lock of hair that fell in front of his eyes. "I'm ready for you to be better so we can keep going."
"Where are we going?" She asked, glancing at him before looking out over the yard.
He sighed and his eyes turned troubled. "I don't know yet. I thought maybe we should all talk about that."
"Mmm, so you've given up your Ricktatorship for good this time?" She hadn't meant to say it out loud but she had. The look on his face had her laughing.
"Giving up my what?" He asked.
She shook her head. "Nothing. Never mind. I think it'd be good to talk about where to head to next."
"Any ideas? If you could choose, where would you want to go?" He asked, meeting her eyes and holding them steadily.
The question took her aback, not because of the content of his words but the fact that they were a mirror image of the ones Daryl had spoken to her the night before. She looked away, suddenly aware of how close they were sitting, their thighs pressed together. "I don't really know how to answer that. Would anywhere be safe?"
He pushed his hair out of his face and followed her gaze. "There has to be somewhere. There seems to be pattern that I've noticed that I want to bring up."
"A pattern?"
"Yeah, a pattern. Woodbury, Terminus, the Prison."
"What's the pattern?" She asked, truly intrigued.
He turned to meet her eyes and she could see the pain behind his gaze. "They all crumbled because of madmen. But we're stronger now. We know more of what to expect and I think if we build somethin' again, we can keep it."
"Rick, you weren't a mad man," she said softly, her hand resting on his forearm.
He nodded. "Yeah. I was. I saw... Lori everywhere I looked. I heard things. I was a mess and then I just gave up. When I did start putting the pieces back together I was still on shaky ground. I could have done more and the prison would still be standing. And what I did to you..." his voice trailed off and he turned away again. "I was," he nodded. "But I'm stronger now and I know I can build something. For Carl and Judith. We can start over and we can make a life. If we don't try then there isn't any reason we shouldn't just end it all here."
She thought about that and nodded. "What about the coast? I mean, we were willing to travel all the way to D.C. Why don't we just head for the ocean. There would be food, we could find something there and we can start building."
He seemed to turn the thought over in his mind and then smiled ruefully. "When I was a kid my parents took me to South Carolina once to visit some crazy old aunt of my mom's. It was a place called Pawleys Island. I don't remember much of it but what I do remember, it was pretty amazing. We can become a group of beach bums, huh? I don't know. I don't think Abraham has the skin tone for that."
She laughed with him but he sobered quickly. "We'll bring it up in a while, when we're all together. I was thinking of a few teams walking out a ways, look for any signs of a herd or any other trouble. What do you think?"
She shrugged. "I'm feeling up to that. I walked with Daryl last night. Me and him could-"
"Nah," he shook his head. "I'd rather him stay back. I was gonna go and I don't want both of us out there. Me and you can go north and Tyreese and Glenn can head south a ways. It shouldn't be a hard walk for you."
She agreed but for some reason had an uneasy feeling in her stomach.