A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!
Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns it all.
The next couple of weeks were stressful for me. Deadly vampire sought my death for her lover's revenge. Senior year was over half way done and lots of school work to complete. My job at Newton's. Trying to be a best friend to one and a girlfriend to another. Spending time with friends other than the aforementioned. Spending time with Charlie. Keeping in touch with Rene. Having time to myself. It was becoming a little overwhelming and some things were falling through the cracks. And on top of it all, I was being baby sat by a group of guys all of which were younger than me but one. So, to add to my list I was worried about them all being outside at night watching over me. ARGG!
I finally came to my breaking point one afternoon after working at Newton's. I came home to find Jacob sitting on my front porch.
"Jacob, what are you doing here?"
"What do you mean? I'm here like I said I would be on Sunday. We're suppose to watch a movie and have dinner together. You know, our 'Bells and Jake best friend time'." I looked at him with a confused expression. I could have sworn we were suppose to hang out Wednesday night. "You didn't forget did you, Bells?"
"No, Jake, but I thought we were hanging out on Wednesday."
"It is Wednesday, Bella."
"No it's Tuesday. Right?"
"No, yesterday was Tuesday, today is Wednesday a.k.a. 'Bells and Jake best friend time', and tomorrow is Thursday." He looked at me expectantly but all my brain could process was that tomorrow was Thursday.
"Crap!" I flew by Jake and ran into the house. A very confused and concerned Jacob followed me in.
"What?! What's wrong?" He was looking all over the place.
"What's wrong is that it's Wednesday and I have a huge Calculus test tomorrow that I haven't even started studying for." As I am lying out by books to study in the living room the door bell rings. "Now what?"
I open the door to see my boyfriend. I begged internally that I didn't have plans with him too, all the while wondering how I could rid of Embry and Jake the fastest and with the least amount of damage.
"Hello sweetheart. How was school and work today?" Embry asked with a huge smile. This was gonna be harder than I thought.
"Not good. Look Embry-"
"What is he doing here, Bells?" Jacob glared at Embry.
"Me? What are you doing here, Jake?"
"I am here for 'Bells and Jake best friend time.' So you can just leave. Thanks for stopping by and have a nice day." Jacob said with a fake smile.
"I'm not going anywhere, Bella and I work on homework every Wednesday night after she gets off work."
"Well, not this Wednesday. Bella and -"
"Both of you shut up! You are both going. I am sorry but I have huge test tomorrow that I HAVE to study for and the two of you can't be around to distract me."
"But Bella-" They both said in unison.
"No! Jake, I know I said we could hang out, and we will, but not tonight. And Embry sorry I forgot about our Wednesday night habit. But I need to study alone tonight so I can really concentrate.
"Okay. But I can come over tomorrow and study right?" Embry looked at me with puppy eyes.
"No, because she will be watching a movie with me. Righ,t Bells?"
"Look, Jake, I am her boyfriend and I think I should get some kind of preference here."
"I don't think so. I am her best friend and I have been in her life our entire lives, you only just met her what 2 maybe 3 months ago."
"God! I can't take much more of this. My life can't revolve around the two of you. I have other responsibilities and a life of my own. I have work and school. I never see my friends from school and I hardly ever spend time with Charlie other than an occasional meal. Even then usually at least one of you is there, too. I need time to myself sometimes. I need Bella time! And I definitely don't have time for this right now. I have to study. So both of you out! I don't want to see either of you until the bonfire Friday night. Do you understand?"
They both looked like a mix between a deer caught in headlights and finding out Santa Clause doesn't exist. They briefly looked at each other to glare, then turned back to me. I guess neither one is completely use to seeing me so worked up. I think the only time I have ever really acted like this was the day Embry imprinted on me after I chewed him out for abandoning Jacob and Quil. But this had to be done. I felt like I was constantly being pulled in different directions with no time to find myself.
"But what about tonight after patrol? And after patrol tomorrow night? I can still see you then right? I mean I can still come up." I shook my head 'no.' "I couldn't bare to not see you, Bella. I need you too much. Please don't do this to us. I promise to be good. You can hang out with Jake tomorrow after school if you want. Please don't shut me out at night though. That's my favorite part of the day."
Now Embry looked like I killed his puppy right in front of him. It would be hard on me as well. Ever since that first night weeks ago when they started patrolling around my house, Embry would always come in through my window after his shift was done and stay until the morning. I had become very fond of our time spent in each other's arms. Nothing but a few minutes of innocent kissing ever occurred in fear of Charlie in the next room. But I had grown used to the shift in the bed around 2 am every morning, and then cuddling with my personal space heater. I knew this would hurt us both, but I just needed time to myself to think. To think about how to better manage my time so that nothing and no one was being neglected.
"Please both of you go. I am really sorry. But I just have to do what's right for me at the moment. I hope you both can understand that."
"Sure, sure." With that Jacob walked out the door with his head hung low. I looked over to Embry who looked utterly lost.
"We're- we- you- you aren't, you know, br-breaking up with m-me, are you?" He stuttered while a single fell down his cheek. I quickly wrapped and arm around him while I whipped the tear away with the other.
"What?! No! Embry, of course not. I love you and nothing is going to change that. I just need to figure out how to do everything I need to without missing something else. I have a lot on my plate. I have been running myself ragged lately. I knew something had to be done. Tonight just made me more aware of how made things were getting. I mean I forgot about a super important test and I double booked you two guys. I just have to get my head on straight again and make it through this week. I promise things will get better. Spring break is coming up and things will let up and we can spend lots of time together then."
"Okay, Bella. I love you. I love you so much. I just want to see you happy. I'll back off the next couple of days and give you your space."
"Thank you, Em. I love you. and I'll see you Friday."
"Yeah. Friday. I'll miss you. But know I'll still be out there patrolling. If you need me, just call out your window and I will be here before you know it."
"I will." I lift up to give him a small kiss, but lingered longer than planned. He pulled away and walked out the door without another word. I knew this would be hard for him, but it was necessary.
I spent the rest of the night studying for my Calc exam. As soon as it was over my thought returned about what to do about my bad time management. I knew I couldn't be making plans with both Embry and Jacob at the same time by accident again. It would only cause a lot of issues. By Friday I was still lost about what I should do.
Instead of going straight to the beach, where the bonfire was to be held, I decided to stop at Emily's first. We had become even closer since the day she stood up for me the day Laurent attacked. She really had filled any void that Alice had left. I didn't have to keep any secrets from her like with Angela. I could go to her for any advice I needed with the whole werewolf business. And tonight wouldn't be any different. Hopefully her advice would be as helpful as usual.
I walked in without knocking. I had learned to do that weeks ago. If you waited for answer you might be waiting awhile for werewolf with manners or until Emily gets free second. And in Washington, that wait time equals getting soaked from the rain. I headed straight for the kitchen holding my 5 pies; 2 apple, 2 cherry, and 1 key lime. The last was made special for my Embry.
"Hey, Emily."
"Hello, Bella. Oh wonderful, you brought dessert. I was so focused on the rest of the meal that dessert was put on the back burner so to speak. I was just about to start panicking. So, how was your week?"
"Stressful, like they all have been lately."
"Yes, I did hear a little something about the two men in your life vying for your time and attention on Wednesday night."
"Yes, they were and it just wasn't a good time. I had a huge exam, that I forgot about. And I still didn't do great on, because I was thinking about how hurt they both were when I sent them away. Emily, I was wondering if I could talk to you about all this maybe a little tonight."
"Well sure, Bella. You know I am always here. Let's talk now, who knows if I will get a second with you after those boys see that you're here." We sat down at the table. "So, what exactly did you want to talk about."
"How do you do it all, Emily? I mean, you cook and make a place for the pack. You watch Claire, when she's pried out of Quil's hands, you are a great imprint to Sam, not to mention the shop. How do you do it all? I drive myself crazy trying to balance my life. You seem to do it with no effort. Don't you ever just want you time?"
"Well, it was a little tough at first. You have to find a balance that works for you. You are the most important person in many people's lives, so I can see why it is so hard for you. Charlie, Embry and Jake all look to you as a large part of their lives. Have you tried a schedule? I know that sounds very impersonal, but it might be what you need."
"I did use a kind of unofficial schedule that first week, when Jake still couldn't see me since he didn't have control yet. I guess that could work. It just seems like I don't care as much if I have to schedule the people I love into my life. It's like their intruding into my life, and I don't want them to feel that way."
"I get that, I do. But you will be of no use to anyone if you drain yourself dry. It doesn't have to be a permanent thing. Just to get into the swing of things. To make habits to do certain things with certain people each week. Eventually after it all becomes routine, you can switch days and activities around without schedules, just feeling what is right. Right now it's just important to be with the people you care about without hurting you or them. That way a thing like Wednesday doesn't happen again."
"Yeah, I see your point. Thanks, Emily. I think that will work, at least for now. I guess we should go feed those growing boys, huh?"
"I suppose we should."
We got out of my truck and loaded our arms with as much food as we could carry. As we approached the beach I could hear a lot of yelling. Both Emily and I stopped and looked at each other, then proceeded to walk faster along the trail. When we got closer I could tell by the voices that it was Jacob and Embry arguing. As we broke through the tree line I can see that they both look as if they could phase any minute. I dropped the food on a table and ran towards them, only to be caught by Quil.
"You don't need to go over there, Bella. You'll only get in the way and get hurt. That wouldn't help either of them. So just stay here and let them get it all out of their systems. The past two days has been nothing but tension building. We all knew this argument was coming and it needs to play out."
"You all are just going to let them go at each other?" I was astonished.
"No. If things get too out of hand, Sam told the guys to step in. My job is to watch you. We all know how sneaky and stubborn you can be. So nothing like that now. I am just keeping you safe."
"Neither of them would ever hurt me!"
"No intentionally, Bella. But you've already been hurt because of one of their fights. Let's not risk a second time." I was still too far away to actually make out what they were saying.
"So, what are they arguing about? Me, right?"
"Yes, you. They're both jealous of the time the other one gets with you. And they both blame the other for why neither could see or talk to you until tonight."
"But it was my fault! Those stupid boys! Ahh! Let me at them, Quil."
"Don't think so. Sit your little butt down. This will be over shortly, I'm sure. Until then, neither I nor you are going to movie from this log."
"Fine, but I think Emily needed help with Claire. I guess someone else will have to help her now." He looked at me with wide eyes filled with excitement.
"Claire-bear is here?! Why didn't you say so sooner woman!" His eyes were darting all over the place trying to find his little imprint that wasn't even here.
"Over there behind those trees." I took his moment of distraction to make my get a way. I ran and tripped my way over to Embry and Jacob. Now I could hear their words.
"You son a bitch. You don't know what it's like not being with your imprint. It's physical pain, Jake. I can't stand to be away from her."
"I am sure it hurts just as much as seeing the girl you have been in love with since forever with your supposed best friend! You asshole! I only get her as a friend and not even that sometimes, because you hog all her time!"
"Enough!" Both of their heads whip around to look at me with stunned faces. Obviously they were too enthralled in their argument to notice my approach.
"Bella, sweetheart, I think it would be best if you went back over to Emily or Quil or someone. We're in the middle of something and I don't want you to get hurt." Embry said as calm as could make out through his clenched jaw. He was still shaking, as was Jacob.
"No."
"No? Bella, I am serious. Please, baby. I'll be there shortly."
"So am I. Don't the two of you think about what ya'll fighting does to me? It hurts me and it makes me feel like crap. It makes me feel like I have ripped the two of you apart. Wednesday was my fault and don't even argue with me. I told both of you I would hang out and then I bailed on both of you."
"It's not your fault, Bella. It's his." Jake pointed to Embry. "He needs to learn that just because you're his imprint, doesn't mean he gets you all to himself. Sam shares Emily with the rest of us. He doesn't throw a hissy fit when she hangs out with us or cooks for us."
"You're just jealous, Jake. I have what you want and you can't stand it. You will never know Bella's love, not like you want to. I get that part of her." That was it. The breaking point. Jake launched himself at Embry. Instead of phasing himself, he pushed me aside, so I was completely out of the way. Problem was, out of the way was in the water. I was pulled out of the water by an annoyed looking Quil. Guess he found out Claire wasn't really here. Sam was holding a human Embry back, while wolves Jared and Paul were pushing back a pissed off Jake wolf. He was snapping at them and growling loudly.
"This is quite enough. We thought maybe the two of you could work things out on your own but obviously not. I don't want to, but I will put an injunction on the two of you, so that you are not to be within so many yards of one another. Emily tells me that her and Bella came up with a solution, if only temporarily that may help the current situation. Bella, would you like to explain what you came up with." All eyes fell on me.
"Sure."
"Why don't we get Bella into some dry clothes and Jake back into human form and some clothes as well? Then we can all talk like, I don't know, humans."
"Thanks, Emily."
"Not a problem, Bella. Come on, you can borrow some of my clothes." The whole time this occurred Embry had his head down, refusing to be my stare. I could tell he regretted that last line he spoke to Jacob.
So, we went back to Sam and Emily's home and I explained the schedule plan. Jacob sat on one side of the small living room in an arm chair, while Embry sat on the couch on the other side. Plenty of wolves sat in between them. They didn't look happy with the plan, but agreed that it would probably be for the best. Sam said he would work their patrols around whatever schedule we made between the three of us. They understood that I wasn't going to see both of them every day. I needed time for Charlie, Angela, school and work. As much as I loved Embry and knew we would always be together, I didn't want to ever only depend on him and the pack the way I did with Edward and the Cullen's. I had to have a life outside the pack.
After we got done talking, we ate the almost forgotten food. I then started to head to my truck, frustrated because neither Embry nor Jacob would talk to me or even look me in the eye the entire night. As I got to my truck I heard foot steps behind me. I turned to see a somber looking Embry.
"Bella, I just wanted to apologize. You were right earlier. I wasn't thinking of how Jake and I fighting would affect you and I should have. I am going to try and work on my jealousy of Jacob. I know he's only a friend, but the two you share so much history and sometimes I feel like he knows you better and I hate that. I want to be the one to know everything about you. I promise I will get better. I love you, Isabella. I would do anything for you. Just say the word."
"Thank you, Embry. I am sorry, too. It will get better. I will get my stuff in order and things will be fun again. I promise. I love you, too. See you later tonight?" His eyes widen.
"You bet!" A huge grin spread across his face. I knew letting him come over after patrol was what both of us needed. We both needed to be close together. I had really missed him and it had only been two days. I don't think either of our hearts could take much longer.
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