The big One O. Here's where things start to become interesting… re-watching scenes will suck though.
Chapter X: Praise the perfect one… (This title has nothing to do with the actual chapter so ignore it and just continue praising the perfect one{If thou does not know what 'The Perfect One' is, go play the calamity mod for Terraria})
"Question" Alex speaks up "What is it?" Noire asks "Can I keep her please?" He responded.
Hold on real quick we seem to be missing some importanto text, something happened that we clearly missed here. Oi Author you mind going back a bit and properly follow what happened at the end of the last chapter.
(Fiiiiiiiiineeeeeeee but just this once. Next time I won't be so nice. Okay I lied everything happens because that is the direction of my mind)
"Histoire! We're home!" Noire yelled out when we entered the place.
"Welcome back Noire, Plutia" a higher pitched voice called out to them as she floated into the room.
"Hmm? It seems we have some guests. Hello, my name is Histoire ( ^ v ^ ) /" hold up did she just use an emoticon? How the hell? (Stop questioning things Narrator) Never!
Cue the first line of text please… or just scroll up… or don't I can't force you to do anything. Or can I? HehehehehahahahhaHAHAHHAHA Ahem you saw nothing continue on, please.
"( '_ ^ _ ) Eh? Keep? What do you mean by that?" Histoire asked "It means exactly what it means. You are extremely adorable and I want to take you back home with me so pl-" Alex was answering 'til he was rudely interrupted by Maddy who knocked him the fuck out.
"He deserved that. Although he is right, you are tiny and adorable. More importantly is the question as to whether you are actually Histoire... Because I don't remember you being this tiny."
"I agree with Maddy on this. You were never this small" … "Well I have 2 theories that may answer this question" James began "1. We're all dead… though that likely is the more impossible answer."
"Or 2. Time Travel which is also illogical as fuck" He finished "Onto more pressing matters. Where is Neptune? Now I get that she can be the laziest Goddess ever but I mean she's normally around the Basilicom like 99.99% of the time."
"Neptune… that name sounds familiar…" Histoire muttered, "I am not sure what you mean, could you please explain it to me?" She asked.
"You alright Histoire? I would think you knew Neptune the best I mean you are her oracle after all… granted you do all the work" James asked muttering the last part "I'm sorry but I do not know who this 'Neptune' you speak of is" she answered.
"Huh? I'm confused now. How don't you know Neptune she's literally the Goddess of Planeptune?!" James questioned which elicited a confused look from Histoire until Noire decided to butt in "What kind of crazy are you? The Goddess of Planeptune is Plutia, not this 'Neptune' you're talking about."
This made the two natives from the land down under look at Plutia with the kind of look that says 'You fuckin' with me mate?' "Sorry what? I can't legitimately believe that after the events I've witnessed" James said before looking over to Maddy "I think we had one too many drinks last night…" James whispered which Maddy shrugged in response.
"Pics or it didn't happen," Alex said as he got up from his Maddy induced sleep "Seriously though can you actually back those words up with fact? I know we can… I think" he continued as he moved over to his friends whispering to them "We did take a commemorative winners photo during our little drinking party."
The two shrugged "Dunno, that night is still a little hazy so we should check our phones I guess" James whispered back "Does that mean I can transform?" Plutia asked in an excited tone that is questionable "Well if it proves the point please do" Maddy answered while Noire and Histoire looked a little pale and were about to stop Plutia but it was far too late.
"Yay~ transfooorm~" MY FUCKING EYES. THAT IS REALLY FUCKING BRIGHT. TURN IT DOWN PLEASE.
(As you can see the Narrator is experiencing technical difficulties… you see he's new here and hasn't been introduced to the bright light that is these overly exaggerated transformations. Apologies… I'm not actually sorry)
Finally, the light is gone holy fuck that was way too bright. Moving on.
When the light dissipated there was no longer the slow and sleepy little girl but instead a woman in an outfit that would give Vert a run for her money except now its black and magenta. Her hair violet coloured, and unlike her smaller form, it was left to flow freely. Lastly is her red heys with the same familiar power button that you would probably never actually see on any current day console… maybe a PS2 or PS1?
"I am both impressed and disappointed at the same time. Impressed that she actually is a CPU, and disappointed that you could actually back up those words of yours. But this only raises more questions" James began.
"Oh? And what kind of questions would these be?" Plutia asked "Exactly how are you the CPU of Planeptune. This makes no sense whatsoever considering that there should only be one CPU per nation yet now I've met not 1 but 2 Planeptune CPU's" James answered.
"Now I'm starting to think we did time travel, but that still doesn't add up correct from what I was told. Noire said she wasn't a CPU but that doesn't make sense since CPU's are born from the faith of the people, well, that's what I was told at least" James continued.
"I, therefore, conclude that I, James, AM EXTREMELY CONFUSED PLSHELP!" He finished as Alex walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder "Don't worry buddy because… IM CONFUSED AS WELL, WHY THE FUCK ARE WE YELLING!"
"I DON'T KNOW AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" James responded before the two were promptly left unconscious by our lovely lady who has the be the adult in almost every situation involving these idiots.
"Ignore these idiots. Anyways it would be nice to have some kind of explanation, although from what you have all told me I think I figured it out already… I expected the nerd to figure it out first but I guess he's just that, a nerd" Maddy said to the girls in the room muttering the last piece.
And with that questions were asked and answered until the boys woke up like 2 hours later to which they got an explanation to everything while Noire, Plutia, and Histoire went out for reasons unknown.
"So we somehow managed to travel to another Dimension… again? You sure about this Maddy?" Alex asked to which she sighed "Well considering it happened once it could happen again, plus I have no other way to piece it together as nothing adds up. Anyways let's go over what we know so far" Maddy answered.
"First, we are somehow in another dimension."
"Second, CPU's here aren't born from shares, rather they can become one through a certain rare item called a CPU Memory."
"And Lastly, We don't have a clue how to get back to our home? Or is it 'new home'? Doesn't matter" Maddy went over these in much more detail but that's like far too much text so we skipped ahead in time and shortened it so the authors' brain doesn't crash trying to explain it in more detail and not get distracted by the background music.
Suddenly the door to the Basilicom opened and 3 people entered although you probably already figured out where I'm going with this… hopefully.
"How many times do I gotta say it?! Are you listening to my words!? I'm me! And you know me, Noire!" A loud childlike spoke when they entered the Basilicom "Hey doesn't that sound like…" Alex started and the two others nodded in response.
"Ugh, this feels hopeless. She must've hit her head really, really hard." Noire said.
But hey even the word hopeless has hope in it… plus if you rearrange the letters it spells peeslosh… the last part was probably… unnecessary… I'm sorry.
"Aww, so Neppy is gonna die…?" Plutia asked meanwhile the three lads + lass look at each other with a concerning gaze "Oh boy, we are in for a ride aren't we" James said to the two who sighed and nodded in response.
"I'm not gonna spin the bucket! If I up and croak, the fanfic would probably end way quicker than the author wants it!" Neptune said in a mildly angry tone "You're so stubborn, Noire! I mean, pretending not to know me is a good joke for a few minutes, but keeping it up is the same as bullying!" Neptune continued as the 3 friends sighed "Should we tell her?" Alex asked but there was only silence "Nahhh," the three said together.
"I'm not pretending. I have no idea who you are. However, I believe there are some others here who do know who you are" Noire responded to the pudding obsessed Goddess "And there she goes again! Then how come I know all your secrets? Huh?! Wait? Others?" Neptune told the legendary tsun.
"Whooooa, you know her secrets…?" Plutia asked completely derailing Neptune's question and starting up more madness "Yeah, right. Fine, let's hear all about me. Come on, don't be shy." Noire responded derailing this further than it needed to be. Hey while it's still derailed does anyone want to get some ice cream with me?
"Okay! I'm gonna do it…!" Neptune said with pep. "Hrm-a hum-a… (Do not question it that is literally the text straight from the game {Hey! Author! Who said you could butt into my important dialogue?! Huh!?}(Whoops, gotta go) I'll start with an easy one. Noire, you're the CPU of Lastation!"
"Ooooh! Wow, Noire… You're a CPU, too…?" Plutia asked surprised "No, I'm not. Well, not yet… But Lastation sounds like a pretty cool name…" Noire replied muttering the last part.
"And you got a kid sister named Uni!" Neptune continued "Gosh…! I had no idea you had a little sister…" Plutia said surprised "HEY! IT SAYS GULLIBLE ON THE CEILING!" Alex shouted out.
"Huh? What was that?" Neptune asked but no one responded so she shrugged it off. "And I don't have a little sister Plutia. If I did, I would've introduced you."
"And thirdly. The clincher! Noire has no friends!" Neptune said in a slightly teasing tone this emitted some small laughs from our three musketeers. (You know even after all this time this game still gives me a good laugh.)
"Gah!" Noire responded completely surprised by Neptune's words "Aww, you don't have any friends? That's soooooo sad…" Plutia said in a slightly sad tone "Huh? Waaaait, does that mean we aren't friends…?" Plutia questioned (Fun fact: every long word said by Plutia is 110% accurate down to the letter. No seriously you could go back over every line of text and find out for yourself.)
"Wh-What are you talking about?! We're, y'know, we're…f-friends…" Noire said "We are? Yaaaaaaay…!" Plutia replied happily "Huh? Plutie, this is gonna be an itty-bitty awkward question, but are you really her friend?" Neptune asked. You know what's more surprising? The fact everyone is currently in the same room but completely oblivious to our 3 friends.
"Uh-huuuuuh! My beeest buddy." Plutia answered, "Hey, when do you think they'll notice us?" Alex whispered to the others "To quote the author 'Soon™ sometime maybe never one day eventually' taken directly from his Reddit bio" James answered.
"H-Hey! Don't say something embarrassing like that out loud!" Noire said in an embarrassed tone (Fun Fact 2: My punctuation is god awful that the text from the game has more punctuation in the few lines I've written so far compared to my entire story… probably.)
"A friend, huh? Noire…actually has…a friend?" Neptune said completely caught off guard "Noooo! She's a clone! This Noire is totally fake!" Neptune blurted out "Wh-What?! That's pretty offensive, y'know!" Noire responded a little irritated.
"Oh, woooow… I had no idea you were a clone this whole time, Noire!" Plutia said completely surprised by this new development "I'm NOT A CLONE! You really need to stop believing every little thing she says!" Noire responded.
"OK then let's stop this madness before it gets out of hand. Firstly, hello Neptune. Second, I'll explain everything so far" James said getting up from his seat dissolving the soon-to-be-argument before it happened "Huh? Wait! Jamie?! Alex?! And Maddy too?! I'm so confused right now" Neptune said shocked.
And so Neptune took a seat while everything the three know so far was explained to her.
"So you're saying we're in another Dimension?" Neptune asked to which the three nodded "Well I guess that's believable considering where you three are from… speaking of which I'm kinda curious about your world. You said that everything is far different compared to Gamindustri but never really explained it" Neptune continued.
"That is true we never really did go over anything. Well, we have some time so why don't 3 take a seat and we can give some cool information" James responded which the 3 girls took his advice and sat down.
"First and foremost. God's and Goddesses are mostly just spoken of in religion and mythology, personally, I don't believe in any of them, although I will admit mythology is pretty dope" James began.
"Unlike Gamindustri there are far more nations and countries… Like waaaayyyy more" he continued "Also unlike Gamindustri, monsters don't exist, so basically the world sucks and is boring as fuck, although video games made up for this, to be honest."
"There are other things as well but the author is not gonna bother to look them up and would rather not be bothered to do so since in his words 'Modern society can go suck a fat one'" Alex said.
"Shit it's getting late we should probably find someplace to stay," James said to which the two nodded as they got up off of their seats and made their way to the door "See ya tomorrow Nep" James waved as they left the place in search of a hotel.
On the way, the three started up a discussion "Hey, Maddy, you remember what Noire said earlier about CPU Memories or whatever they are called" Alex said "Hmm? Oh, those what about them?" She asked, "Well, it's pretty interesting how you can become a world leader with a rare item, other than that, the power that comes with it would be pretty enticing don'tcha think?" He replied.
"What, you thinking of looking for one?" Maddy questioned Alex who shook his head "Nah, I think James would agree with me on this one though, the power sounds nice and all but the work that comes with it is just far too much responsibility for someone such as myself" Alex told Maddy "I do agree. Power sounds cool and all but I'm not interested" James responded.
"What about you Maddy? What's your opinion on it" Alex questioned to which she shrugged "Well it does sound pretty good if you ask me, the power is interesting but the whole nation thing is a bit of a turnoff. If there was an option to not deal with the whole nation portion of it I might actually go looking for one" Maddy answered.
After this, they entered a hotel and got a nights rest and awaited the next day although I hope someone has gotten an idea for some plans I have for our characters here minus our main lad, although I'm still debating what to do with our resident idiot. MOVING ON NEXT DAY PLEASE I'VE SAID TOO MUCH.
It is now the afternoon and here we find our trio out in the field on some quests because they are very bored.
"That's another quest down!" Alex exclaimed "Y'know we make a pretty good team if I say so myself" He continued as the three moved through field to their next destination "Well, I can agree with that, although I'm kinda curious where did you learn how to fight Alex? I know Maddy was fascinated with swords once upon a time and learned how to use one properly."
"Didn't learn from anywhere I'm just hittin' them with whatever" Alex answered "Now that I think about it…Where did you learn how to fight" he asked our resident protag "Hmm? Oh, I had Neptune teach me" James answered his friend "That explains it…" Alex muttered in response.
They now moved into a cave for their next set of quests here's where things get super interesting I think. As they cleared their quests they were reaching the end of the cave "Alright this should be the last one and by far the most difficult of them all. We have to take down some kind of monster called an Ancient Dragon" Alex said.
"We should be careful then, I remember fighting one before but that was a different situation, they are still tough bastards, although those other monsters put up more of a challenge than the dragon could so I think we should be good," James told his comrades.
They found the dragon sleeping which proved great for our trio "Well, well, well guess tonight is the night for a surprise attack on the sleeping beast of old" Alex mused as he drew his daggers. "So how do you guys wanna do this? All out attack 'til he realises he's getting ass blasted. Or we could do one big attack" Alex asked his friends to which they smirked, "I think we all know what to do" Maddy answered.
And so they went with the more fun solution… hint: it's the first one.
They attacked the sleeping beast relentlessly leaving a few gashes here and there before it finally realised what was happening and gave off a loud roar "RARRRRRRRWGH!" The dragon slashed at James sending him back a bit leaving a slash on his arm which immediately started to slowly close and heal itself.
Confused? Right nothing ever got explained because the author is a bit of a dick go yell at him. Anyways due to the incident, the small piece of the stone is now fused with his body which not only revived him but gave some extra benefits, like regeneration of wounds, the bigger the wound the longer it would take to heal although he ain't invincible. Do enough damage and he will die, destroy his heart completely and he's fucked.
Other than that he also has increased endurance which is neat I guess. MOVING ON.
Alex dashed at the dragon's legs slashing his daggers as fast as he can and moving as fast as he can to dodge the attacks from the dragon until he was eventually kicked away. He tumbled a bit as he regained his footing "This will be fun!" He said with a whistle to which the other two just sighed.
Maddy came in next stabbing her sword right into the right leg of the dragon which caused it to roar in pain and knock her away towards a wall when she pulled her sword out "Ow, that hurt" She said as she rubbed the back of her head "Oi, Maddy, you alright?" Alex asked to which she nodded "I've been better. Watch out!" She called out but he couldn't react in time as the dragon smacked him over to the other wall.
"Alex!" The other two yelled at their friend to which he just gave them a thumbs up signalling he's not dead. They sighed in relief "Least the cunt ain't dead" James mused "C'mon you two we got a dragon to-" James spoke but was interrupted by the dragon smacking him over to where Alex was.
"Wow, what a cunt," He said as he was getting up but the dragon was having none of his shit as it charged towards him and pinned him against the wall "This feels like déjà vu for some reason…" James muttered as he tried to push the dragon off him, but alas it did not work because this is important plot-related bullshit… obviously.
Alex was still sore so he's having a hard time getting up right now so the only one who was in the best condition right now was Maddy. As she was getting up she nearly tripped on something, when she looked down to see what it was there was a small crystal that had a slight glow to it coming from inside it.
She took a quick look at it when she recognised it due to the power symbol inside it (I MEAN IT WAS PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS) "Isn't this one of those CPU Memories? If what Noire described was correct this should be one of those. Guess I'm pretty lucky to have found one, although I don't know what to do with it since I have no real need for it, and throwing it away seems pretty shitty. Guess I could give it to Noire?"
(HAHAHAHA AS IF. ALL WILL NEVER BE EXPLAINED BECAUSE IM A RIGHT CUNT)
She pocketed the memory and ran over to where the dragon was and sliced its arm causing it to lose its grip on James "Thanks, Maddy. Hmm? What's with the glow coming from your pocket?" He asked as Alex was starting to get up. She pulled out the memory "Oh it's this I found it just now, it's one of those CPU Memories Noire spoke of. Guess I got lucky finding one before even she could" She answered them.
"Huh, didn't expect you of all people to find one I expected Alex to find one first, to be honest. He is one lucky cunt" James responded to this development whereas Alex gave a thumbs up.
"Anyways we should deal with this dragon for now," Maddy said as the other two nodded and got into position and got ready to fight the dragon but this was cut short as the dragon turned into data before they could even attack it "Uh, what?" Alex asked and soon he got his answer as a new monster joined the fray.
"Hey doesn't this guy look similar that black furred monster we fought the day we reunited?" Alex asked because in front of us was a similar monster that was as big as the dragon that just died except this one was different from the previous 2.
It has thin brown fur covering it, the same signature red eyes, 2 long black spiralled horns that came out from the sides of its head. Unlike the others, this one didn't have claws but instead what seemed like armoured fists. Lastly, there were no spikes on its back.
"Yeah it looks similar but, there is definitely some noticeable differences, but that's not what I'm worried about… There's only 3 of us and the last time we fought something similar it wasn't easy to do, so I'm not sure whether we can pull this off" Maddy answered him.
They all got ready as the best charged them smashing its fist into the ground which they dodged just in time to come back with their own attacks against its arms. The monster thrashed about attacking wildly getting a few hits on our trio "This fucker is a right pain in the ass!" Alex shouted as he dodged a large fist heading towards him and slashing the monster in the arm making it growl in anger as it pulled back.
The fight was going well but it didn't seem like they were doing too much damage plus they have to be wary in-case this variant has that ridiculous rage mode like the previous one.
"Hey, guys! I got a plan but it may or may not work, it's also really stupid but it may be able to save our asses!" Maddy called out to them "Whats the plan then!" James yelled back barely dodging the incoming fist "My plan involves you two keeping the shitfaced cunt in front of us busy for a bit and me doing something really fucking crazy!" She yelled, "You got a minute then hurry up okay?!" Alex yelled back.
Maddy pulled back while the two taunted the monster and kept it busy "Alright this is stupid but it's the only thing I can think of" she said as she pulled out the pocketed CPU Memory "Okay all I have to do is eat this and if it all works out we come out alive" she brought it up to her face "Here goes nothing… This better work" and she swallowed the memory whole.
Back with our boys who are currently distracting the monster they are having a hard time without Maddy here.
"This monster is being a complete bitch!" Alex yelled to his companion "No shit Sherlock!" James yelled back "What's taking Maddy so damn long?!" Alex yelled as he dodged another attack from the monster, however, he didn't expect the monster to double hit and its large fist was about to collide with him "Shit!" He yelled but nothing happened the monsters' attack was blocked by a futuristic black short-sword with a dark blue edge.
(IT IS HAPPENING HAHAHA… I've been waiting to do this)
In front of Alex was a woman as tall as James. She has long cerulean coloured hair worn in a ponytail, (Yeah that is a real colour actually had to google this shit because I wanted it to be accurate to what I originally portrayed it as.) her eyes are dark blue with power button symbols, her outfit is a black swimsuit that covers most of her torso minus the stomach area where it cuts off from as if it was segmented, other than that it was lined with dark blue around the edges and more. Her arms had the same swimsuit whatever kind of special material it is covering them with a 2 blue lines creating a double helix up to her gauntlets, which are black with blue knuckles, and claw-like nails.
Her legs were covered up to her thighs with the same black material along with 2 blue double -helix's on the sides of her legs reaching towards her black heeled boots. Last were her wings now this shit is really hard to describe… (So for anyone out there who has played Terraria or know what it is, google Arkhalis's set and find the wings being used because that's the design I'm going for… 'Tis why I find it hard to describe but that is exactly what I had in mind except, the colour of these wings are just emerald green.)
"Need some help there?" The woman asked in a familiar voice "Y-Yeah, thanks for that… Wait, Maddy? Is that you!?" Alex answered to which the woman simply nodded "Well, shit didn't expect this at all. Thanks by the way" Alex said as he got back into the battle "So that was your plan, huh…" James muttered as he joined the others in the fight against this beast.
The beast charged at the trio and threw its fist at Maddy who blocked it giving the two boys an opportunity to do some serious damage in the form of one Alex stabbing his daggers in its left leg, and one James slashing his greatsword across its chest leaving a large gash as it reeled back clutching its chest while growling at the trio.
"I think it's time we end this! Wouldn't you agree!" James called out to the duo who nodded in response Alex pulled out a revolver and took aim at the beast "Tw0 Fang" he called out as he shot all 6 rounds at the beast with each shot shooting two bullets instead of one (It's a reference.)
Maddy then flew in to strike the beast calling out her own skill "Shock Blast" her blade crackled with electricity as she struck the beast in its chest which released all the electricity in one attack pushing the monster back and severely burning it.
"Why am I the only one who has no skills…" James muttered as he dashed at the downed beast stopping right in front of it to stab his sword right into its chest finally killing it.
"That was a fucking pain in the ass," Alex said to his companions "Although I think we should be more focused on you, Maddy" he continued pointing to his female companion "Didn't expect you to go and do that, I'm honestly impressed… In more ways than one," he said muttering the last part although she still heard him and kicked him in the shin "Sorry, I didn't hear you, could you speak up?" She told him with a smile on her face to which he just shook his head quickly.
"Enough you two, we should head back now we can discuss this later," James told them as he started to walk towards the exit muttering something about Noire being pissed and such.
HAHAHAHAHAHA… and we end it here FINALLY! The one thing I've been waiting to pull finally happens… you see in the 'story' I originally introduced her in it was hard thinking of what to do since it was a spur of the moment thing that would elevate the 'story' to a more amusing standpoint for me, so I decided on making her a CPU. This won't happen with the other 2 but I do plan on something eventually but I don't know what yet.
Anyways hope you enjoyed this chapter which I managed to get out in good time… surprisingly the scenes from the game have a lot more lines of text than you would think. Seeya next week lads
~Ant