*A/N* So, this is unfortunately, the shortest of my stories, but I think it portrays the moment reasonably well... It's also one of the last chapters before we get past the end of the game. The story will be 18 chapters, so we will be going well beyond the boundaries of the story.

One Step Away: Comatose

www. youtube . com/watch?v=uZ7XcxPMyN0

He was just a step away – a little more than a breath away from crossing the line between revolutionary and terrorist. Anders' breath caught in his throat as he stood there in the Chantry clutching the potion vial in his shaking hands. He was betraying Cassyndra by doing this, but he had to do it. Justice and Vengeance whispered to him – told him that it was do or die and there was no getting around it. It was exhausting to try and fight Vengeance and so much easier to give in and let him have what he wanted.

I hate feeling like this

I'm so tired of trying to fight this

I'm asleep and all I dream of

Is waking to you

What if he went back and told Hawke what he planned to do? Would she disown him or, and possibly worse, would she offer to help him? Would she talk him out of it? He wondered if the hold she held over him and Justice and Vengeance would stop the atrocity that was about to happen. Vengeance whispered – telling him that it wasn't an atrocity, but a necessity.

Tell me that you will listen

Your touch is what I'm missing

And the more I hide I realize

I'm slowly losing you

At least, Anders mused, when he drifted in the Fade and let Vengeance take over, he was free to think about Hawke. He was free to love her without the voices in his head telling him to stop allowing himself to be distracted. She was the only thing in the world that made sense. She was fair and right and she knew justice and mercy like they were old friends. Sometimes now, it felt like Justice didn't even know justice anymore.

Comatose

I'll never wake up without an overdose of you

I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe

'Less I feel you next to me

You take the pain I feel

(Waking up to you never felt so real)

I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream

'Cause my dreams don't comfort me

The way you make me feel

(Waking up to you never felt so real)

He was drowning in Vengeance's pull as he uncorked the vial of potion and held it over the Oriental rug in one of the sitting areas. Here, where he stood, was where Karl had died and now that was where the Chantry would die as well. Anders slipped away from himself as he thought of Hawke – as Vengeance poured the caustic potion onto the rug. Now, the fate of the Revered Mother was in the hands of the Maker, and it seemed so fitting, didn't it?

I hate living without you

Dead wrong to ever doubt you

But my demons lay in waiting

Tempting me away

It was only with her that there was any peace – only when he thought of her or held her or loved her was there any world beyond that which was dominated by Vengeance. Even here, in the Fade where he could think of her couldn't compare to having her there. All he had to do was reclaim control and he could return to her.

Oh, how I adore you

Oh, how I thirst for you

Oh, how I need you

Comatose

I'll never wake up without an overdose of you

She would be done with him when she found out. When she watched the Chantry explode before her eyes it would be all over, he would be alone – or dead. Death would be the only way to bring justice to the people who would die here. He should have trusted her – given her that chance to talk him down, but it was too late. As Anders took over, he felt tears beginning to pool in his eyes. He should have trusted her! It was too late now and it was all over – he'd never be able to prevent the destruction now. It was in the hands of the Maker – Vengeance had won.

I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe

'Less I feel you next to me

You take the pain I feel

(Waking up to you never felt so real)

Anders dropped the vial and turned abruptly away. He had to find her – he had to have her in his arms or else all else was worthless. Nothing mattered except her. Vengeance be damned – he had to have her and he had to forget the evil he'd just done. He needed her so he could wake up from this nightmare.

I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream

'Cause my dreams don't comfort me

The way you make me feel

(Waking up to you never felt so real)

He found Cassyndra talking to the Revered Mother by the statue of Andraste. The Mother blessed him when he spoke to her – if only she knew that he didn't deserve it. Yes, it was time for a revolution, but suddenly Anders wasn't sure that this was the right revolution. Outside, he put his arm around Hawke's waist and pulled her closer.

Breathing life, waking up

My eyes open up

"Take me home, Hawke." He whispered in her ear.

"Are you alright, Anders?"

"I am now. Just don't go anywhere, okay?"

"Of course I won't." Anders smiled a little – for the first time all day – as she put her arm around his waist and they walked through Hightown to the Hawke Estate. It was quiet – blissfully quiet – even if it were a temporary peace.

Oh, how I adore you

(Waking up to you never felt so real)

Oh, how I thirst for you

(Waking up to you never felt so real)

Oh, how I adore you

The way you make me feel

(Waking up to you never felt so real)