Chapter Nine - Going Back

Whoever was at the door knocked again and Jim groaned into the pillow, not wanting to move. At some point during the night he and Spock had switched places so he was now the one with his arms around the other. Spock was still fast asleep.

"Fucking… son of a bitch… asshole…" he muttered angrily as he carefully extracted himself from the bed and strode out of the bedroom and to the door, throwing it open angrily.

"Oh, hi," smirked Bones.

"Good morning," Jim grinned, scratching the back of his head and stretching slightly.

"That for me?" Bones laughed, pointing out Jim's obvious morning erection in his boxers.

"It is actually, where should we do this?" Jim asked seriously. He had no embarrassment in front of his best friend, he actually liked to play a game where he'd twist Bones' joke and use it to make him feel uncomfortable.

"Damn you're a creep. I was kidding," Bones sighed, shaking his head.

"You look like you've had a good night," he pointed out, eyes scanning over the obvious hickey on Jim's neck and his swollen lips.

"Ah well, you know, pretty good," Jim said casually but unable to keep the smile off his face.

"I don't wanna hear about it," said Bones quickly and Jim laughed.

"Of course you don't. Anyway. What can I do for you?" Jim asked.

"Well, Joanna went back to her Mom's an hour ago so I'm kinda at a loose end. Maybe hit the gym?" Bones offered.

"That sounds great actually. Give me like… twenty minutes to take a shower and get changed?"

"Thirty minutes," interrupted Spock's voice from the bedroom. Bones raised his eyebrows, looking truly horrified and Jim burst out laughing at his reaction.

"Thirty minutes!" he called as Bones practically ran from the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Jim strolled back into the bedroom to find Spock staring at him from the bed. He climbed back in and wrapped his arms around him, kissing his neck.

"Morning," he mumbled against the skin.

"I believe it is the afternoon," Spock pointed out.

"Oh, well, I guess we slept in," Jim chuckled.

They lay in comfortable silence for a few minutes until Spock spoke.

"Was your sleep uninterrupted?" Jim took that to mean: did you have any horrific nightmares about Khan?

"Yeah, I slept really well. I didn't really dream about anything, just about this guy I know," he smirked and Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Tell me about this person?"

"Well. He's really awesome. He's tall, dark and handsome, he's a really great First Officer and he's really smart but sometimes he gets a little too uptight with the rules, but I think I can teach him how to break rules. And rumour has it, that this person is awesome in bed," Jim hinted.

"Perhaps you could ask this person to join you in your bed, and you could verify this rumour?"

"They already did," Jim smirked, kissing Spock on the cheek and hugging him tightly.

"I gotta take a shower, I'm going to workout to get all buffed up," said Jim, sliding towards the edge of the bed when Spock grabbed him and held him close.

"Buffed up?" he asked, sounding confused at the expression.

"Yeah you know, buff? Like hench? Like… muscular and hot?" Jim offered and Spock nodded in understanding, letting him go slightly.

"Thank you for last night," he said, dark eyes looking decidedly chocolate brown and very, very human.

"Thank you for last night," Jim grinned. "Once again sorry for uh… you know… being a little too eager," he mumbled, pink blush creeping into his cheeks.

"Do not be embarrassed," assured Spock, kissing his forehead.

Jim sighed contentedly and snuggled under the blanket and into Spock's side. He didn't want to move. He could have happily stayed there all day if he hadn't already promised Bones he'd hit the gym with him.

"So I'm probably going to go home in the next few days. Could I tempt you into joining me?" Jim offered.

"You know you are not allowed to return to Iowa without the permission of Doctor McCoy," Spock pointed out.

"I know, but I'm feeling much better, and he said that physically I'm pretty much completely recovered from my nasty case of dead," Jim chuckled and Spock stared at him seriously.

"It is not something appropriate to joke about."

"Sorry… I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry," Jim backtracked, realising that his comment was pretty insensitive. After an awkward silence Jim slipped out of the bed and into the bathroom to take a shower.

As the hot water ran over him, his mind raced with a jumble of thoughts.

Did that mean Spock didn't want to join him? Or that he was genuinely annoyed about him joking about his death? Or maybe both?

As much as he didn't want it to, his mind strayed to Khan and his dream. Why had he dreamed about Khan wanting the code to his chryo-tube? It seemed so irrelevant. Whatever was in the hypo Bones had given him had managed to stop his dreams last night, but Jim didn't want to have to have a hypo every day to stop his dreams.

Deciding at last that he was clean enough, he stepped out of the shower and dried off quickly, wrapping the towel around his waist and walking back into the bedroom.

Spock wasn't in the bed anymore so Jim assumed he was probably in the kitchen getting breakfast, or due to the time of day, lunch. He pulled on his workout clothes and walked out into the living area, towel drying his hair.

Spock was in the kitchen reading something on a PADD. He looked up as Jim walked into the room.

"Iowa has warm summers," he said matter-of-factly.

"It does. Really warm. You'd like it."

"I would be pleased to join you there," Spock said with a small smile.

"Good! I was worried I'd pissed you off with my stupid comment."

"No. But I might suggest you think more carefully before you make humorous references to something so serious in future."

"Duly noted," Jim smiled, crossing the room to pull Spock into a hug. He hugged him back tightly, running his hands down Jim's back.

"You know, I've got five more minutes before I need to meet Bones," Jim said suggestively.

"The activities I had in mind would require you to be present for significantly longer than five minutes so I suggest-"

Spock was cut off by his communicator chirping.

He looked at it with a raised eyebrow before flipping it open.

"Spock here."

"Mr. Spock, Admiral Archer."

"Admiral. How may I be of assistance?"

"You can tell Kirk to keep his communicator turned on," Archer laughed.

"I will be sure to relay your message Sir. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Yes. I need you and Kirk to join me this afternoon, we're going to go and check in on the repairs of Enterprise and I'll need you both to sign off on a few things."

Jim felt like a lead weight had dropped into his stomach. He wasn't ready to go back aboard the ship. It was too soon, too fresh in his mind. He swallowed and nodded to Spock.

"Certainly Sir."

"Great! Meet me at the main entrance of headquarters at sixteen-hundred hours."

"Yes Sir. Spock out."

He closed the communicator and set it down on the counter, looking carefully at Jim.

"I… I don't think I can go back there just yet Spock, it's too soon," he sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"I understand that returning to the Enterprise will be emotionally challenging for you. I will support you in any way that I can," Spock assured him.

"Thank you." Jim hugged Spock for a few more moments before saying a quick goodbye and going to meet Bones and hit the gym.

"Damn it man, I swear to god I'm not helping you if you hurt yourself," Bones warned as Jim added more weight to the bar.

"I won't. I used to lift way more than this anyway," he assured his friend, gritting his teeth as he lifted the bar up and placed it on the rack then lay down beneath it, ready to bench press.

"You going for ten?"

"Uhh.. eight," Kirk said as he lifted the bar off the rack and took the full weight himself.

"That's one."

"Two."

"Three."

Jim grunted, trying to find more strength but he had nothing left to give. He tried to push the weight up but he could only get it about half way.

"I'm not counting that as four. You gotta give me an honest four," Bones encouraged and Jim swore at him under his breath.

He finally managed to straighten his arms against the resistance before lowering the bar again to his chest.

"Five. Come on!"

"Shut up Bones you'll make me laugh," Jim gasped out as he completed number six.

"Seven," said Bones in a creepy accent and Jim burst out laughing, almost dropping the weight.

"I'm serious. I'll die."

"And eight. Well done, now move over, it's my turn," Bones practically shoved him off the bench and proceeded to complete the same exercise in half the time with half the effort.

"I can't ever remember a time when you could bench press more than me," sighed Jim as Bones sat back up.

"Me either. But you know, your body has been through a lot, gotta build it back up slowly. I don't mind being the stronger one for a while," he grinned and Jim punched him in the arm shaking his head.

"Not for long."

"We done?" Bones asked looking at the sweaty messes they both were.

"Yeah. I'm pretty done," sighed Jim, shaking out his aching arms.

"Can you hypo me with as much anti-anxiety shit as you legally can? Archer wants me to go up to Enterprise this afternoon and I feel like I might have a complete and total freakout," Jim confessed as they started to walk back towards the apartment building.

"Oh… damn. Yeah sure I can give you somethin' for it. Think that's the first time you've ever asked me to give you a shot."

"There's a first time for everything."

"Like that hickey on your neck? That from a different kind of first time?" Bones asked, nudging Jim with his elbow. Jim blushed slightly.

"Well I could tell you in detail allllll about it," he grinned and Bones looked horrified.

"No thank you."

"Well then shut your bourbon-drinking, cousin kissing southern mouth!" Jim retorted and Bones looked pretend-shocked.

"Well how about you shut your corn-fed, tractor drivin', square dancin' hillbilly farmer mouth!"

"Touché," Jim laughed.

They stopped by Bones' office and he gave Jim the hypo he asked for to control his anxiety before heading back to their apartments.

"You anglin' to go home soon then kid?" Bones asked as they entered the elevator.

"As soon as you'll let me," he nodded.

"Would it be too forward if I asked to join you for the first couple days? Just wanna keep an eye that you're alright."

"That'd be fine. Spock's coming with us too though, so, you know. There could be more hickeys that you desperately want to hear the story of but then change your mind about," Jim teased.

"You're free to go whenever you want, but for the love of god please could you and Spock have separate rooms until I leave?"

"Maybe," Jim laughed as he let himself into his apartment and Bones continued down the hallway towards his own.

Jim noticed right away the note on the counter for him and picked it up.

James,

I have returned to my quarters to ensure I am dressed appropriately in uniform for our meeting with Admiral Archer. May I suggest that after your exercise you consume a larger than usual meal? I would not want you to fall behind your weight-gain targets.

I will meet you at 16.00; please do not be worried about returning to the ship, worrying is illogical.

Jim read the note in Spock's voice and smiled to himself.

He cooked himself a reasonably healthy lunch of grilled chicken with vegetables, he'd have rather had French fries but there weren't any in the apartment, Bones had made sure of that.

He showered and got dressed in his uniform. He decided to wear his black undershirt only as his Captain's gold shirt just didn't feel right.

Leaving in plenty of time to make sure he wouldn't be late, he started to walk to Starfleet headquarters. If Bones hadn't given him the hypo, his heart would have been going a mile a minute, but he felt strangely calm and it almost felt wrong.

He waited on the steps, arriving only a few minutes before Archer.

"You're looking a little better," he commented.

"I have a very good doctor," Jim smiled.

"Glad to hear it. You heading off home to Iowa soon?" the elderly Admiral asked.

"Yes sir. As soon as I'm sure I won't be needed here I'll be off."

"Well, once you sign off on everything today, we won't need you until the re-christening ceremony so you'll be free to go," Archer nodded.

Spock arrived with his usual curt nod of the head in greeting to Archer and a small smile to Jim when Archer wasn't looking.

The three men boarded a shuttle which Archer asked Jim to pilot and they headed up to the Space dock. They made a polite smalltalk, mostly instigated by Archer, but other than that they were pretty much silent until the ship came into view, held stationary in space-dock.

"Holy crap," Jim mumbled as he saw the mess the ship was in. Work was ongoing to repair the hull but the damage was still very extensive and very obvious.

"She was banged up real good," nodded Archer in a slightly more polite translation of what Jim had said.

"Take her straight into Enterprises' shuttle bay," ordered Archer and Jim nodded, piloting the small shuttle towards the doors which opened to allow them access before closing behind them.

"Welcome!" came a familiar voice as they disembarked the shuttle.

"Mr. Scott! Thought you were going home for a while?"

"No Sir, Enterprise needs me and I cannae let a lady down," grinned Scotty.

"Mr. Scott is overseeing the repairs and the upgrade to the warp core," explained Archer.

"Upgraded warp core?" asked Spock.

"Jus' some minor adjustments really, more economical use of coolant and what have you, an' a door lock that can only be overridden by me, gotta keep wee rascals from climbin' up in there," nodded Scotty, looking anywhere but at Jim who looked anywhere but at Scotty.

"Yes, young rascals have a tendency for doing that," said Archer, clapping his hand on Jim's shoulder. He winced slightly as his muscles were sore from the gym.

"We're havin' somethin' really grand installed too Captain! It's called a… well… I won' bore you with the full name, but we're calling it the holo-deck. It'll run any holographic sequence you program it with. You can basically go anywhere you can imagine, but without leavin' the ship. It's very clever," Scotty explained excited as the four men walked towards the turbo-lift.

"That does sound pretty great. So I could just imagine a sunny day in a nice corn field in Iowa, and it'd be there?"

"Well, you'd have to program it first which'd take a bit o' time depending on the complexity of the environment, but aye Sir, completely possible."

The lift stopped at engineering and Jim swallowed hard. His anxiety shot seemed to be wearing off very quickly and his palms started to sweat.

"We've had fixin' the engines and core as our top priority," explained Scotty as the four men stepped out of the lift. Spock shot Jim a concerned look but Jim shook his head slightly.

Don't worry. I'm fine. I can handle it.

There were engineers scattered through engineering, fixing things, tinkering with things and installing new things.

"But now we're almost done with that, so work is slowin' down here and movin' on to other parts o' the ship. We've got a team over in medbay installin' upgrades and some of the new specialist equipment and another team working on the hull damage."

"Seeing as a mission of this duration has never before been attempted, the ship is being prepared for a more normal kind of life. Starfleet regulations will be altered for the course of the mission to allow relationships between crew members, and the adjustments to the medbay would make it equipped to deal with any children born during the mission," explained Archer.

"Fascinating. It appears Starfleet is seeing this mission as not only an exploratory one, but as a form of social experiment as well?" Spock asked.

"That's right Mr. Spock. In a way, Enterprise will be our first foot forward into this new way of thinking. Now that Section 31 has been shut down and there are no more secret dreadnaught class warships kicking around, we're keen to study some more peaceful subject matter."

"Admiral Archer, would it be wise to allow relationships to be formed amongst the crew? Could this not affect their ability to complete their duties to maximum efficiency during the mission?" Spock asked and Jim screwed up his face slightly.

Surely Starfleet allowing relationships would make it easier for me and him to not get in trouble for whatever is going on between us? Why would he question it?

"That was something brought into consideration, and there will be rules, it isn't just 'hey everybody, go have sex with your whole crew because you can', it is more complicated than that. Starfleet are trying to adjust to the fact that five years is a long time out of a human lifespan, and it is better to prepare for the possibility of relationships, marriages, and even babies aboard the ship, than to deny the fact that even if forbidden, it will probably still happen." Jim was certain by the way Archer was looking at him that he'd noticed the hickey on his neck. He'd tried to cover it but hadn't done the best job.

Spock nodded slightly in response.

Jim's heart was pounding just from being near the warp core, but it got much worse as they walked along the now repaired catwalk and down the steps so they were standing mere feet from the door.

Spock shifted uncomfortably, Jim shifted uncomfortably, Scotty was babbling about something Jim had to sign off on, which he did without even properly reading it. Anything to be away from the core. He caught a glimpse of a doorway with a clear door and a rush of blurred memories flooded his mind.

Cold glass. Burning skin. Choking. Spock's face out of focus.

"You alright Son?" asked Archer and Jim nodded quickly.

"Should we go take a wee look at somewhere else?" Scotty suggested quickly and Jim was first to bound up the stairs towards the turbo-lift, keen to put as much space as possible between himself and the machine that killed him. As he walked well ahead of the other three men, Jim visibly flinched as Khan's cold voice echoed in his mind.

What's the matter Captain? Afraid the big, bad warp core might come back for seconds? No. That's what I'm for. Get the code for my chryo-tube from Archer. Now.

"Sir. What about… Khan? What's happened to him?" Jim asked, his voice getting quieter towards the end of his question. He could feel three pairs of eyes on his face.

"He is in chryogenic preservation in a secure Starfleet facility. He's no danger to anyone, don't worry," assured Archer and Jim decided to drop it.

Are you deaf or just as stupid as you look? Get. The. Code. Jim ignored the voice in his head, pushing it down and trying to pay attention to what he was doing.

They followed Scotty around the ship as he chattered excitedly about the new changes, the upgrades and the repairs. Jim signed off on anything and everything put in front of him, trying to seem interested for Archer's sake. He also tried to avoid making eye-contact with Spock because he knew he would see right through his confident act and see how much he was really uncomfortable being back aboard the ship.

Jim zoned out, barely paying attention to anything happening around him and the next thing he knew he was back in the shuttle with Spock and Archer and leaving the Enterprise.

He stared at Earth below them, half in daylight, the other half in darkness. So beautiful. It reminded him why he wanted to go on the five year mission to begin with, to find more places like this. More planets and more life.

An alarm sounding in the shuttle brought him swiftly back to reality.

"Weapons fire, bearing one four zero," Spock told him quickly. Jim looked at it on his screen.

"That's long range, that's a torpedo or a bomb or… something," he said looking at the signal.

"It is heading for the planet Captain."

"If I put us between it and the surface will it make any difference?" Jim asked and Archer nodded.

"Negative. The object is far too large."

"Can we destroy it?"

"This shuttle doesn't have guns big enough to make a damn bit of difference to something that size," yelled Archer over the sound of the alarm.

"Archer to Komack, we've got a problem up here. Some kind of long range incoming missile," Archer barked into his communicator.

"Roger that, defence satellites should take care of it," Komack's voice rang out. Jim had always hated that guy.

"As the surface of the planet is majoritively water, there is only an approximate forty two point three percent chance that the weapon will make contact with land, and the probability of it impacting an area inhabited by humans is smaller again," said Spock, calculating in his mind quickly.

Jim was getting damn sick of the blaring alarm so he reached above his head and pulled open the panel, digging through the mess of wires he found the one for the sounder and yanked it out, silencing the alarm.

"Thank god for that," sighed Archer.

Jim turned the shuttle around and tried to spot the incoming object.

"Weapons are locked on the object Captain."

"Fire everything," Jim ordered and the shuttle fired upon the approaching bomb.

It made absolutely no difference. Even when the perimeter orbit defence satellites fired, the weapon was untouched.

Quiet realisation hit the three men that it was going to hit the planet. Jim turned the shuttle back around, weapons still uselessly firing at the object.

"Shit," he muttered as it drew nearer the planet and disappeared from view somewhere over the North American continent.

"The damn thing got through! Report? Any idea where it hit?" Archer demanded into his communicator and it was silent for a few seconds.

"No reports yet, I'll relay as soon as possible."

"Who in the hell is firing on our planet?!" Archer yelled.

"The energy signature of the weapon would suggest it is… Klingon in its origin Sir," said Spock and Archer's face fell.

"Reported impact of missile in the Southern United States. Somewhere in the region of Georgia or Florida. There's going to be casualties. I have no more information right now," came Komack's voice through the communicator.

"Get us down there, now," ordered Archer and Jim nodded.

"Aye, Sir."

~A/N~

Dun dun duuuuuunnnnnnnn!
Bet that's not what you were expecting huh?

I'll try and keep you on your toes ;)

More soon lovelies! I won't leave hanging from that ending for too long!
To everyone who takes their time to review, can I just say again thank you from the bottom of my heart, you are lovely, lovely people and you make me so happy :)