Red Like Your Eyes
CH 10
Notes: back to the most awkward movie night ever!
Derek looked uncomfortable and picked up the remote before he said something silly himself. He hadn't realized the implication of just sitting and watching a movie with someone he liked. He had forgotten what it was like honestly. He had used to love watching movies, but watching them alone was weird and sad in a way. When he did watch a movie it was in a group with the other pack members when they decided to invite him. He was used to be alone, that was all, and in a way he had gotten used to it and appreciated it. He hadn't dated because things had gotten so messed up that he had needed time to rebuild. Rebuild his life; rebuild himself from the inside out so that he could at least function normally. It had taken him years and he was still finding his bearings after all this time.
"Should we start?" He managed quietly.
Stiles nodded looking relieved as Derek pressed play. He was thankful that he could fill his mouth with something as opposed to spouting off nonsense. He decided not to think about it and return to the nice night they were having. He settled into the movie and moved on to the popcorn and sodas. It was some funny action comedy that served as fun mindless entertainment and he was glad to escape his own thoughts for a while. He felt the cold creep in as night fell and thought of the enormous house again.
"You unlocked the rooms on the second floor" he mentioned quietly.
Derek nodded
"Yeah. Just wanted to do some cleaning. Get rid of some old stuff." He replied simply.
"If you need any help let me know" Stiles returned.
"Ok."
After the fourth movie they had both relaxed from their previous awkwardness. He noticed that he gave Derek sideways glances, smelling the fresh scent of his cologne and the lines of his fresh clothing and Derek, though much more subtly, did the same.
After an hour or so of stolen glances Stiles ventured out with "I'm having a nice time"
Derek turned and smiled shyly, and Stiles didn't even know that sort of expression existing in the wolf man's catalogue of brooding expressions.
"Me too."
Derek turned his attention back to the screen thankful that he didn't linger on Stiles' doe eyes, giving his feelings away. Stiles followed, turned back to the TV not seeing the blush that was creeping up Derek's neck.
Stiles' mind returned with stupid thoughts. 'That's what you say on dates right? To let your date know you're having a good time? What do I do now? We are alone in the house which is weird. Did he plan this? No he's not like that. Wait. What?'
And while he was thinking all these stupid thoughts Derek nonchalantly draped his hand across the couch, his fingers so close to Stiles' neck, that he wondered if it was an invitation to move closer. Awkward meter had just exploded.
Stiles turned his full attention to the movie trying to ignore the implications of the action. And when he concentrated on something for a long time he got tired. And when he got tired he usually fell asleep. He woke up hours later to find himself curled up on his end of the couch with Derek passed out similarly on the other end, mouth hanging open and snoring softy. He smiled, taking a mental picture and groaning inwardly at how lame he was.
He gently patted the wolf man on the shoulder and he stirred quickly.
"Wha? What's going on?" Derek responded blinking the sleep out of his eyes and clearing his throat.
"Movie's over."
"Oh right." Derek nodded surveying the mass of popcorn and sodas on the table.
Well. Ok awkward. 'End of date right? Walk him to his room, or get walked to my room? A kiss? A KISS?! No. nope. Shake hands? Hahahahaha.' A side of Stiles had returned and it made him giddy with happiness. He thought he had lost the ability to feel this way, to feel safe, to feel like the world had so many things to offer him. The last time he had felt this way was on his 5th birthday, when things were still new, before the sadness of the world had exposed itself to him in all its cruel irony.
"Well. Goodnight." Stiles shifted awkwardly looking at his feet.
"Goodnight" Derek nodded and grabbed the empty bowl of popcorn and drinks off the table before walking to the kitchen.
Stiles couldn't help wondering as he climbed up the stairs. It was confusing. It was frustrating. He got ready for bed and lay down, sis eyes closing shut as soon as he hit the pillow. He fell into an ocean of sleep, drifting through old memories, trying valiantly to swim to shore. He woke to find Derek staring at him, his cheeks feeling cold from the moisture that had gathered there.
"Sorry. You were freaking out in your sleep. Your heart rate was really erratic." Derek spoke as he stood not mentioning the fact that it was driving him crazy and making him panic in turn.
"Ah thanks." Stiles spoke dumbly not know what else to say.
"It hurts a lot doesn't it?" Derek spoke quietly. Stiles nodded, the simple acknowledgement of his pain making it somehow bearable. No one had just said it out loud before and it was comforting.
"I never really mourned them, just kept pushing it away. Being here just brought so many memories back. Reminded me of things." Stiles spoke in clipped sentences.
"Let it out." Derek sighed. "It's hard but it's really how you heal."
Stiles was glad that it was dark, and that he couldn't see how pitiful he looked in Derek's reflection. He was also glad that someone was there and someone knew how crazy everything was. He pulled at Derek's shirt and smothered himself in a hug.
"It's so embarrassing to be this damaged." Stiles whispered against Derek's chest.
Derek stilled then responded
"That's one of the most honest thing's I've ever heard." He reflected, running a hand through Stiles' hair, smiles eyes fluttering shut returning a sigh of his own.
"But Stiles, you. We can't feel embarrassed about this. It was out of our control. We have to stop blaming ourselves for things that were out of our control."
"Tell me you didn't read psychology for dummies." Stiles joked bitterly.
"Actually no jackass. I was actually at Stanford studying psychological trauma and developmental psychology."
"Why did you stop?" Stiles asked quietly.
"I needed to be back here. Wanted to be back home." And Derek wanted to tell him that about the real reason but he couldn't.
"Who did you talk to?" Stiles asked quietly and Derek knew that he had cornered himself.
"My sister Laura. It was hard at first, but we only had each other so we had to talk. It eventually came out." He answered.
Stiles nodded.
"You're all alone too, aren't you?" Stiles whispered. He felt Derek's acknowledgment as he nodded slowly behind him. Stiles turned to face him and slung his arms around the bigger man's body. He held tightly and sighed onto his shoulder.
Derek was stunned at the motion, but returned the hug closing his eyes and hugging tightly.
"Thank you." Stiles whispered. "Derek if you need to, I'm here to talk. Like about anything." he whispered quietly.
Derek nodded.
"I saw your parents' bedroom."
Derek's eyes shot up. His lips spread thin
"Oh."
"They were really happy huh?"
Derek nodded.
"My parents laughed all the time too."
"Do you miss them?" Derek asked.
"I try not to think about it."
Derek nodded.
"I've done that for the past 10 years. It doesn't work" Stiles whispered quietly.
"Are you afraid it's going to hurt again?" Derek shook his head. "No. it's just sad. They wouldn't want me to mourn for this long. Need to move forward and look into the future. I learned that over the years." Stiles nodded wanting to ask why he still stayed in that small room with a bed that was clearly too small for him, filled with his child hood toys.
Stiles laid back down on his pillow and the two existed in silence for a long moment.
"How come the pack didn't live here?" he asked, wondering why of all moments he would inquire about that.
"They had their own lives, families, things they needed to do. I didn't." Derek stopped himself from saying what he really wanted to say.
Stiles gingerly tucked an arm around Derek's waist and pulled himself into another hug.
Derek slowly accepted the hug and closed his eyes and breathed in without thinking about it. Stiles scent filled his senses and he couldn't think straight for a moment. It was intoxicating. The pheromones sizzled against his nerves and shot jolts of electricity to his brain urging him to tell the truth. Just say it.
'You're my mate Stiles. I was born to be your other. You were born to be mine.'
But no. those words wouldn't leave his mouth. Not tonight.
On the other end of the hug was Stiles pondering his own thoughts. He could almost hear the word willing themselves into existence. 'Would you stay?' But they never came. And in a way he was glad. Things wouldn't change. It was easier this way.
"Gracie really likes you" Stiles whispered quietly.
"Yeah. I'm her alpha, she's bonding quickly."
Stiles nodded "oh."
"Sophia was her mother's name" he spoke again quietly, and even he could hear how Derek's heart beat increased for a moment.
"I see" Derek responded after a moment
"I should go to the police and turn us in."
"Not yet." Derek murmured "she still need complete her training."
"Ok. "
"Just a little longer." Derek whispered, his eyes closing again.
"So you sure you won't take her in?" Stiles persisted.
"It would make sense." Derek spoke slowly. "But she's bonded to you. She's your family. She would be miserable without you, as a wolf and as a person."
Stiles yawned at how those words comforted him and rubbed his face into the pillow. He felt his eyes closing and he was lulled to sleep by the warmth of Derek's body heat. He woke up when Derek attempted to get out of bed.
"Mmm. Stay. Please?" Stiles asked quietly.
"Ok." Derek acquiesced in a whisper and laid back down.
Derek lay in the bed sharing the space with the drifting boy, his mind filled with new thoughts. One on end he was shocked and on the other he was scared at the words.
Stay. No one had asked him to stay.
The next day, Stiles woke up with an arm around his waist, pulling him into a strong chest. He felt a warmth breath on his neck and felt instantly safe and comfortable.
"Morning" Derek's voice came scratchy and hot.
"Morning" he returned.
"Sleep well?" The alpha asked observantly.
Stiles nodded. It was the first time that he had slept through the night in a long time. He tried not to think about the reason why but his stupid brain, realizing that it could go off high alert was now scattered and childish, thinking about fantasies and sexy innuendos. Not fun. Well kind of, but inappropriate none the less.
Stiles watched as Derek scratched his stomach, stretching out slowly, bringing a blush to Stiles cheeks and other body parts as he sniffed the air and walked out of the room.
XXXXXXX
Derek appeared in the living room and sighed, a few moments later Stiles heard the sound of a sports car in the vicinity.
"Gracie's back." Stiles murmured putting down his book.
Derek opened the door and the trio filed in plus Jackson who looked mildly uninterested in being at the alpha's house on a non pack night.
Gracie was wearing a colorful beanie and doing cartwheels as Lydia and Erica held out bags of new clothes.
"You guys really shouldn't have" Stiles spoke apologetically
"No problem" Erica returned. "A girl's always got to look her best you know."
Gracie giggled loudly. "Sty look!"
She pulled off the beanie revealing a fountain of black curls.
"You like?"
"What the hell did you do that for?" Derek growled looking disapprovingly at the ebony tendrils and directing his anger at his two female betas.
"Well we couldn't take her out looking the way she did so we gave her a little change. It suits her don't you think?" Lydia smirked running a hand through Gracie's hair.
"It's so pretty!" Gracie squealed happily, gripping Sophia against her chest.
"It's pretty right Sty?" She asked him hopefully
"Yeah you look amazing' Stiles smiled.
Lydia fished in one of her bags and pulled out a box of hair color. "I got one for you too Stiles." She pointed the box towards him.
"No." Derek chided.
"Oh come on Hale." Jackson spoke rolling his eyes. "You want to keep him cooped up like this forever? Let him walk around with the living for once." He propped himself against the wall ignoring the death glares shot at him by Derek, Lydia , and Erica.
They turned their gazes upon Stiles. "What do you think Stiles? Your choice."
"Can I?" He asked Derek tentatively and the alphas hard gaze faltered as their eyes met.
"If you want to do it, then it's your choice" he spoke stiffly, echoing his pack mate's sentiments.
"Awesome!" Lydia interjected, not waiting for further discussion which could very well lead to a 'no thanks.' "Let's get this show on the road." And Erica and Lydia pulled him into a bathroom, extracting the applicator and the bottle of dark colored liquid. Erica moved to the doorway to check that no one was nearby and shut the door even though everyone present knew that werewolves could hear a pin drop in the vicinity.
"So what did you and Derek do with your time alone?" Erica asked boldly as Lydia held his head with one hand and applied the dye in stripes across his scalp while Erica brushed it in with the applicator.
"Uh just watched some movies."
The two betas shared a look and Lydia spoke quietly. "Derek's really happy that you guys are here." She spoke quietly.
"He said that?" Stiles asked surprised, his heart giving him away with a skip.
"He doesn't have to say it silly." Erica supplied brushing along his scalp in an expert manner. "He's been infinitely nicer since you've gotten here."
"All done" she announced letting him look at himself in the mirror.
"Ok so the instructions say that you have to keep it on for 10 minutes and then rinse it out. I would take a shower if I was you. "
"So that the ink doesn't remain behind your ears" Erica added shooting Lydia a look that just screamed 'shut up.'
They left him in the bathroom and Stiles waited ten minutes and turned on the shower. He slipped in and let the hot water sluice his body, washing away the conversation and the night before. It was like he was the only one not being let in on a secret. He sighed letting the water do its job and running his hands through his hair. After the hot water had run out, he turned it off and stepped back into the bathroom.
He wiped away the condensation from the mirror and stared at himself, his eyes growing wide at the person who looked back at him. He had filled out, his skin glowing as a result of regular eating habits; his hair now longer and thicker was a dark raven color setting off his amber eyes against his pale skin. It felt like he was looking at someone new, someone hopeful, someone brave.
He got dressed and walked back outside to find the others lounging on the couches waiting for his return. Their eyes shot up to see him and everyone echoed the change.
"You look hot." Erica announced with an approving look.
He looked over at Derek and realized something. He immediately shot Lydia a look and she pretended not to notice what she had done. Clever girl.
Gracie rambled in and screamed in joy when she saw him.
"Sty you look so pretty!" She yelled jumping into his arms. "yeah?" Stiles chuckled looking at her similarly colored hair.
'I see what you did there Lydia' he thought understanding why Derek had seemed so weird before. They all had the same color hair and pale skin. They looked like they were the lost family members of the Addams family and in a weird way it made them appear more connected than they already were. 'Talk about being obvious in your intentions' he thought.
"Alright out." Derek demanded and the three stood, turning to go.
Jackson turned before he exited.
"We're having a get together, for under 20s. You're invited" he spoke nodding to Stiles.
"Oh ok."
"We're picking you up at 7 so be ready" Lydia smiled sweetly before turning to leave herself.
The three drove away into the afternoon leaving the three to themselves. Derek disappeared back into the house and Stiles and Gracie looked at each other.
"Let's play Sty!" Gracie smiled and he nodded.
XXXXXXX
The night came again like it always did and so did Stiles' thoughts. After a few hours of tossing and turning he gave up and headed down to Derek's room.
"Stiles?"
"No it's Santa." Stiles whispered.
Derek grunted his annoyance at the smart remark but made room for him and Stiles crawled in.
Stiles pushed aside the normal thoughts of, 'is this ok, what's going on? And what are we doing?' And settled in. before long he as fast asleep and the delicious lure of dreamless rest drew him into the werewolf's warmth. the next morning he found himself snuggled on Derek's chest and one of his hands wrapped around his waist, his ear lulled by the steady beat of the wolf's heart, derek's hand skirting his shoulder.
A voice in the back of his mind screamed. 'Too close, too close!' and he panicked.
He slipped out from under Derek's grip and walked to the door, he took one last look at the man sleeping peacefully, his normally perfect hair ruffled and soft. His mind snapped another mental picture s he closed the door.
Stiles padded upstairs, listening to Gracie's gentle breathes as he passed her room. He slid inside the cold sheets as the sun began warming the waking world.
Derek lay in bed listening to the two heart beats on the second floor, the smell of Stiles still lingering on the sheets. And this started a pattern. Every night Derek held Stiles until he fell asleep, offering comfort when he desperately needed it, his own body reacting and his wolf so content that he'd fall asleep bedsides the youth. It was soothing him on more levels than he would dare like to admit. He didn't want to come on too strong or too crazy. They had just reached a nice balance between normality and secrecy. A voice in his head was telling him that he had stayed too long, but another was telling him that he had finally found a safe place.
XXXXXXX
Derek rolled the cart through the aisles, filling up on the essentials, three cartons of milk, and one strawberry milk for Gracie. He found some colorful fruit rollups and tossed them into the cart thinking she would like them too.
Suddenly a cart swerved into his.
"Mr. Hale. What a surprise to see you here." A swarmy voice echoed.
He looked up to see Sherriff Corston smiling at him with that stomach churning grin of his.
"Sherriff" Derek countered with a curt nod.
"So how is real estate these days?" The Sherriff continued with a smile.
"Can't complain." Derek responded carefully.
"Good good. Always thought I'd do pretty well in the real estate business myself. Talking to people, driving around in a nice car. Must be the life. But I suppose I never had a rich family who disappeared in a fire."
"But then again your family has had its issues. You know the case files for both your sister and your uncle are still open right?" The Sherriff continued icily. "Oddly enough there are no leads. Don't you find that strange? I mean the last Sherriff was devastated when his wife was killed in the woods. Imagine a small town like Beacon Hills where a person's car breaking down leads to their death? Not very nice is it?" He continued, his eyes unblinking.
Derek stared at him in anger, imagining how easy it would be to kill the arrogant son of a bitch. His family had a painful past and he was throwing it in his face to get a reaction. The man smiled cruelly and pushed his cart forward.
"Well then, I'll let you get back to your shopping." He smirked. "Enjoy your fruit rollups."
"Thanks, enjoy your six pack" Derek responded without batting an eye, knowing that the police man couldn't sense the rush of anxiety that flooded his body.
The Sherriff reddened slightly but maintained his smile. "Thank you, it's nice to not be on shift all the time. I was getting tired of calling you into the station for questioning."
Derek's hand gripped the cart as not to do something more violent to the bastard.
"Well have a good night Mr. Hale" the Sherriff continued with a snarky smile. "Better get home before your strawberry milk gets cold."
Derek glared as the Sherriff moved to another part of the grocery store.
TO BE CONTINUED…..
Notes: What do you guys think? There's a lot of things going on right now! arrgh!