I do have advice to hand over to you worthless plebes, but it'll be incorporated into my new segment today, the segment I like to call . . . The Hall! Of! Shaaaaaaaame!

This one is a little lengthier than the first. It comes from someone named "Kendoro", who actually has an account. He posted this in response to part ten of Ask Rachel Alucard, as a reaction to her freakout over the fanservice in Continuum Shift. There's one big mistake; it's not addressed to Rachel. He didn't even ask her anything, but more on that later. I'll begin by posting the fail in its unedited glory before dissecting it piece by idiotic piece:

"The sad thing about the blatant fanservice in BlazBlue? I don't think it was even directed at the American/European market. No offense to those who are Japanese, but the cultural attitude of Japan in terms of putting art of naked/almost naked women in their (EVERYTHING) doesn't really help the whole 'Japan is the land of weirdos and freaks' perception that the rest of the world views them to be.

I mean, contrary to popular belief, (most) Americans don't sit there and drool and fap to the stuff game creators put in their games. I mean, the art's usually nice, even if the clothes some of these girls wear is downright retarded. But only in Japan will you find gamers obsessing over these anime/game girls, sexualizing them to the point of obscenity. But then again, it is appealing to that demographic, and they're usually the ones playing the games. So unless that were to change, good luck ever seeing Noel or Makoto wearing decent clothes that don't look like they're two steps away from just becoming naked."

And with that out of the way, I can begin the analysis. Now understand, I'm not too familiar with stereotypes among humans, so bear with me.

"No offense to those who are Japanese," I love how people use that phrase, "No offense, but Kakas are fucking retarded!" or "No offense, but humans smell like shit!" "No offense" is a code phrase for "I'm gonna say something (in the case of this troll) borderline-racist right now!" "With all due respect" works the same way.

"contrary to popular belief, (most) Americans don't sit there and drool and fap to the stuff game creators put in their games."

Now keep in mind, you're referring to nations that died before I was born, but based off a quick look on sexuality in your time and place, I'm pretty sure you're a bit off in this claim. The only real difference I could find in how America and Japan treat this subject is that the Japanese were more open about sexuality than the Americans. Now, this did have the unfortunate side effect of pervs in Japan being open about their deviancy, and Japanese marketers often took advantage, and in effect, this made Japan seem more perverse than, say, your home country (if your profile isn't lying) of America.

Aside from that? Your claim is complete and utter bullshit. "But only in Japan will you find gamers obsessing over these anime/game girls, sexualizing them to the point of obscenity." I believe now I should print, "Citation Needed." Ever looked at the video game market from the late 1990s to the early 2000s? Tomb Raider, generic superheroine comics, and BMX XXX ring any bells? There were just as many sexual fanservice-y games from North America and Europe as there were from Asia, if not moreso. You can find this sexual objectification in other places too, and in other cultures; it's ingrained in your fleshy human minds to wanna gawk at anything vaguely resembling a human you wanna fuck. The Japanese people did not hold a monopoly on sexual fanservice in entertainment, despite your claims. Do some fucking research next time. (And that would be my advice to all of you today; DO. THE. RESEARCH.)

Or maybe you're just screwing with us. You don't really mean to say this. You're just trying to get attention. Well if that's the case, you still fail at this internet communication thing, because like my last "guest", you have only succeeded in making yourself look like a dumbass, and also in providing me with someone to laugh at, not laugh with. And for that, you are now the second person to be inducted into my personal Hall Of Shame!

However, as of this moment, this is the only other comment I've observed worth preserving in The Hall Of Shame. If Rachel and I never receive another stupid message, this section just might wither and die . . . unless of course, I were tasked to go to other places on the internet, and enshrine other people's fail for all of you to see . . . but that's not what you're here for. You wanna see me answer questions from people who don't inspire counter-trolling (Even though that's not the original premise of this blog). Here's one for your enjoyment:

"Dear Professor Kokonoe,

First off, let me start by saying this; I fucking love BlazBlue. From its bizarre, utterly mind-fucking plot to its... rather eccentric... cast, all the way to its ridiculously over-the-top combos; BlazBlue just plain appeals to me. You happen to be one of my favorite characters, cyborgs, cat-ears, nukes and all!"

Sweet.

"Now, to my (first) question. As 'Her Majesty' (snrk) has already answered a similar question from another reader, I feel a little bit ashamed in asking this. Here it is; what do you think of the music of BlazBlue and its spiritual predecessor, Guilty Gear? If you like any of it, any favorites in particular?"

What's to be ashamed of? This and Guilty Gear have great music production values, assuming you like 1980s rock. Trying to pick out favorite tracks is quite difficult, but anyone interested will know that concerning Guilty Gear, I like the following tracks quite a bit: A Solitude That Asks For Nothing, Feel A Fear, Haven't You Got Eyes In Your Head, Lady Fascination, Pillars of the Underworld, Pride and Glory, The Irony of Chaste, The Original, and The March of the Wicked King. Look! I even wrote the titles alphabetically! And now Blaz Blue songs I like (not alphabetical): Rebellion, Motor Head (obviously), Oriental Flower, Marionette Purple, Imperial Code, Awakening the Chaos, Endless Despair (nevermind the irony here), Alexandrite (curse that Makoto for having such an addictive theme!), and that little ditty that plays whenever you end up in my non-canon lab in the story mode of Continuum Shift.

"Secondly, did you design the Genesic Emerald Tager Buster for counter-trolling against the snake-prick? I mean that thing is RIDICULOUS-and this is coming from a Tager player! Almost six-thousand damage in a single hit? And it's designed for surprise and finishers? Holy shit!"

Of course I did. What, you think Tager gave himself that upgrade? Hell no! Only someone of my caliber could come up with something as awe-inspiring as (dramatic pause) the Genesic Emerald Tager Buster! Ah yeah, baby; that was alllllllll me right there!

"Lastly (this one is optional, as it deals with those FUCKING ANNOYING glasses), if the things-which-shall-not-be-named WERE to exist (not that they do), have you ever thought of the potential effects when used on someone like Terumi? He's bound to this world by peoples' collective hatred of him, right? So, theoretically, wouldn't making everyone in the world love him make the snake-prick go up like a Molotov cocktail?

Again, that last one is optional, considering I know how much you hate those fuckers, and I wouldn't want to piss off one of my favorite characters (even if it IS a non-canon blog). (Ashcroft II)"

Fear not, good sir. You won't be showing up in my Hall Of Shame anytime soon. I already mentioned the possibility of characters besides Ragna using the Spectacles of Eros, but you went into more detail of what would happen if Terumi had the spectacles than I ever did.

However, there's a flaw in your theory. The Spectacles of Eros only make women fall in love with you, not men. You said "Everyone fall in love with him." Even if he got all the women to like him, he'd still be earning the ire of a lot of dudes and their XY chromosome combinations, especially seeing as how he would've stolen all those womens' hearts.

Buuuuuut . . . if everyone were to love him . . . then that'd solve all of my problems! But if that happened, there would be no story mode, now would there? Stupid rule about "stories can't exist without conflict!", I swear.

LAST MINUTE ADDENDUM: That goddman shitty vampire decided to be fickle again, regardless of my demands. Remember our friend, "d"? He did it again. Same exact schtick as before, four times now. But there's no evidence of him any longer, provided he doesn't get an account for our webspace. Rachel deleted every instance of his lackluster (massive understatement) attempts at trolling, including the one I quoted last chapter. It would seem she discovered a way to prevent peeps from posting shit without an account. When I texted her about this, she said something like, "Your very post on that vermin is good enough of a shrine for that person's lack of intelligence. I saw fit to remove said person's graffiti from my comments section, and good riddance." Well, she's got a point about me preserving the idiocy of trolls, and after thinking about it, I went ahead and enacted that same rule on my webspace. If you wanna communicate for whatever reason, at least have enough of a work ethic to sign up. It's the least I can ask for. I got enough shit piled up on my desk as it is.

Next time, on Help Us, Professor Kokonoe! I answer a question from an account-less individual, for the last time. After that, all submissions must be from people with accounts. Quiver under my iron-fisted rule, suckers!