Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach
(Usual Warnings)
(Ps top reviewers might find cameos in the film.)
I know some of you are like WTF? I know this was random and had no warning at all but… well I felt like it!
Now it's time for…
LIAG: THE MOVIE! (Kinda)
Journey for the Arcana Force!
(Takes place post NLIAG and during rescue Rukia Bakudo X)
Contains Spoilers for NLIAG and does not effect Bakudo X in anyway.
ACT 1: Rebuke's Mistake ( Don't worry all three parts are in this chapter)
~White Room~
BGM: Sponge bob Best day ever
"IT's the best day Ever!" A white haired boy yelled while skipping merrily around his headquarters. "I've finally got the amount of energy to recruit the rest of my generals to start the war! Judgement Day will end with our victory and the blood of our enemies!" Rebuke yelled to himself. "Finally centuries of hard work finally over with. Nothing can go wrong!" Rebuke yelled before freezing mid jump.
Record Scratch!
"…Dear lord…I didn't just say that out loud!" Rebuke said in fear as he was too late to stop himself from saying the worst thing ever. "Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!" Rebuke yelled angrily.
After living for hundreds of years one thing had become apparent to our white haired hero and that is NEVER SAY "NOTHING CAN GO WRONG"! Rebuke buried his face into his hands before turning to the main door in his office.
"Fuck…3…2…1-"
*SLAM!*
Rebuke just stared blankly at his disheveled looking assistant, who was obviously scared and nervous. Rebuke shook his before staring at his white haired assistant.
"…Master…" Izanami began looking very scared.
"Yes Izanami…?" Rebuke asked despondently.
"I…." Izanami said looking down to the ground.
"I'm sorry I didn't hear you. Speak up please."
"I lost the….." She mumbled again.
"OUT WITH IT WOMAN!" Now normally Rebuke was a very calm individual and would never raise his voice at a woman especially not his lifelong assistant, but he knew from jinxing himself earlier that what she had to say would not be good.
…And for once the Gods allowed him to be correct in his thinking.
"I LOST THE ARCANA FORCE!" Izanami squeaked as Rebuke's tanned skin turned white. He stared at the woman for a little longer before finally saying…
"Bullshit." He stated refusing to believe her.
" I'm sorry but it's true!"
"You lost the fucking Arcana Force." Rebuke said with an eye twitch.
"Yes."
"The same Arcana Force that allows us to manipulate reality the way that we do?" Cue more eye twitches.
"Mhmm" Izanami replied in fear as she took a step back.
"The same Arcana Force that I STOLE from the younger, but almost as dangerous, sister of the bitch I'm making this army to kill." Rebuke said while stepping closer to her as she stepped further back. She just nodded her head.
HOW!
Rebuke's booming voice shook the room and caused Izanami to glare back at him.
"Don't raise your voice at me!" She yelled as her eyes flashed gold for a second. Rebuke took a deep breath and calmed his self down a little…
…but not much.
"Izanami you can't expect me not to be pissed. You just lost the source of my power." Rebuke deadpanned as Izanami gained a hurt look.
BGM: Persona 4 OSt: Ill face my self -battle-
"I'm your power remember?" She asked with sadness in her. "Remember I am thou and thou art I." Izanami mutter as she pointed at her master who, in his rage, shook his head and said the worst words to EVER come out of his mouth.
YOU'RE NOT ME!
He boomed again as she clenched her fist as tears fell down her eyes. His eyes widened at his words but before he could apologize…
"Fine then…" She growled as her eyes went from ruby to gold. "You want to see how much I'm not like you?" She asked as her skin turned to a pale shade of blue.
"Izanami wait!" Rebuke yelled, trying to get her to her senses, but was too late. Her hair turned pitch black along with the whites of her eyes. Rebuke fell to his knees as a horrible pain shot through his chest.
"AHHH!" Rebuke screamed as a small rectangular shape forced itself from his chest. Looking down in horror, Rebuke saw a card with Izanami's picture inside of it turn pitch black and burn in a black flame.
"You want to save everything right?" Izanami asked with a tilt of her head. "Well then, I'll find the Arcana Force and DESTROY everything, but don't worry I won't make you watch." She then formed a pitch black spear in her right hand and lunged it toward her former master.
*CRACK!*
*CLANG*
"AHH!"
"Yoshitsune." Rebuke muttered as the red-clad samurai blocked the spear with the blade in his left hand and stabbed Izanami in the shoulder with the blade in his right.
"Tch. Fine then I see you still have some skill, but remember this I will destroy you." Izanami stated as her voice grew darker. [Oho-Ikazuchi] Izanami launched a powerful wave of lightning at our favorite game master and teleported away.
*BOOOM*
-BGM:END-
~Velvet Room~
BGM: Persona 4 Ost: Aria of the Soul
"You fucked up." Igor and Rose deadpanned as they stared at Rebuke who sweat dropped.
"*sigh* I know. And I can already tell that Alice has begun trying to reclaim her Arcana Force, with her and Izanami both searching to destroy everything we may be fucked. It's a good thing Yoshitsune repelled most of the lightning before it could touch me." Rebuke said rubbing his temples as Rose walked towards him.
"I know where it is, but you have to hurry without anyone to stabilize it, it's going berserk." Rose said seriously as Rebukes eyes widened.
"Shit. Where is it?"
"At the edge of the universe, good luck getting there bitch." Rose somehow said politely as Rebuke's eye twitched.
"You're not going to take me?" Rebuke asked incredulously as Rose snorted.
"Hell no. Do you know how much gas costs these days?" She asked as Igor nodded his head in agreement.
"Fine then I'll have to get a ride my way." Rebuke glared as he stood up.
BGM: END
~MEAN WHILE BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY: California~
A guy named Ted was parked on the side of the road while reading the newest work from his favorite fanfiction author, RebukeX7, on his tablet.
"This is fucking Hilarious!" Ted laughed before he noticed a crack appear on his tablet. "What the…?"
Suddenly an arm shot out from the screen and punched him in the face. A body then pulled itself from the tablet revealing himself to be none other than RebukeX7…wielding a gun.
"GET OUTTA THE FUCKING CAR!"
"Wh-" Ted began before noticing the gun pointed at him.
"I SAID GET OUT!"
"BU-"
*Click*
*Slam*
Ted slammed the door of his car as he ran away. Rebuke sighed as he got into the driver's seat of the white Cadillac-XTS 2011 model.
*Ring*
"Yes?" Rebuke asked as he answered his phone.
"Did you just Car jack that guy?" Rebuke smirked as he heard Rose's voice filled with disbelief.
"Yup." And with that Rebuke hung up and turned on his radio.
BGM: California Love
"Time to go save the Universe." Rebuke said while putting on some shades. "Hmm what's this?" Rebuke wondered as he saw a bag of, what he assumed was grass, and some poorly wrapped cigarettes."I don't smoke, but I think I'm going to need a cigarette with all this stress. It smells funny must be a new type of tobacco."
BGM: END
~MEANWHILE BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY~
Bleach OST: Invasion
We now join Ichigo Kurosaki, blade raised high and slashing at some 1000 feet tall hollows that had destroyed most of the Seireitei with a barrage of Ceroes.
…wait what?
"What the fuck is going on?" Ichigo yelled as he released more waves of black energy at the swarms of Grande Menos Grandes
"I don't know but don't you dare stop fighting!" Zangetsu commanded. "LOOK OUT!" Zangetsu yelled at Ichigo. Ichigo turned around to see another GMG™ about to step on him.
"Ban…KAI!" A voice yelled and Ichigo looked in awe as the third captain, Gin Ichimaru, sliced the over-sized hollow in half vertically. Gin landed and spun around and glared at Aizen with an insane expression. "WAS THIS PART OF YOUR PLAN TOO MOTHER FUCKER!" Aizen coughed and began.
"Well you se-"
"No just no. Shut the Fuck up and admit when you don't understand what's going on! One of them even attacked you!" Gin roared.
"Well you see with my complete-" Aizen caught up in his speech didn't notice the GMG behind him charging a cero.
*BOOOM*
All that was left were his shoes.
"Whats going on?" Ichigo roaredagain as he put on a hand on his face. A black flame covered his face and unleashed his hollow mask.
"I don't know but there are only a few left. What I saw was that they seemed to appear from within a black portal that was formed when I purple bolt of lightning struck the ground." Gin replied as Yoruichi landed next to them along with a heavily injured Uryu and a scared Orihime.
"Orihime heal Uryu me Ichigo and Gin wil-" Yoruichi began before being cut off by a hysterical Ichigo
"Look out!" Ichigo yelled as he saw a GMG attempt to body slam them all. "Getsuga…TENSHOU!" Ichigo roar with all his might as he released the biggest, non final, Getsuga Tenshou, he ever had.
*BOOOM*
"*Pant* I can't *pant* Go on" Ichigo panted as his mask shattered. He fell to his knees and looked around toward Yoruichi. "I killed 300 of these bastards there is one left he stated and glared at the GMG that remained. Soon, however, his glare turned into one of horror as the remaining GMG began to glow bright red. "MOVE!"
"SHUNKO!"
*BOOOM!*
BGM: END
-1 hour later-
"*Cough* what happened?" Ichigo wondered as he pushed something from on top of him. Looking down he could only watch in morbid fascination as Yourichi's lifeless body fell off of him. Tears began to fill his eyes as he realized what happened.
-Flash-
BGM: Precipice of Defeat
"SHUNKO!" Yoruichi roared as she flash in front of Ichigo just as the blast went off. "Might as well tell you now…" She began as the light came closer to them. "I lo-"
The world went white
And Yoruichi knew Pain
-Flash: End-
It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she was going to say Ichigo clenched his eyes shut as a wave of nausea went over him.
"I'm sorry Ichigo." Zangetsu said sincerely. "If only the cheats work, or if-" Her rant was cut off by the most heart breaking sound she had ever heard.
"AHHHRGHHHHHH" The malevolent roar of the now turned vasto-lorde seemed to echo throughout the universe. Zangetsu watched sadly as I tidal wave easily bigger than the hollows they were fighting loomed over the city in Ichigos soul. Zangetsu just sat down and watched the water come towards her.
*BAM!*
Ichigo and the now submerged turned to see a figure walk out of the portal with a pissed expression on its face.
~Flash Back one hour: BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY!~
"Achoo!" Nagato sneezed as he walked towards the Uzumaki clan house. "Someone somewhere has experienced a lot of pain...hmm hope they didn't get blown up." The sky began to darken and suddenly. Through his years of ninja experience Nagato could tell something bad was about to go down and silently cursed. "Damn it of all the times for most of the clan to be out on missions, why today?" Nagato muttered to himself as a bright flash of purple landed in the center of the village.
*BAM*
The resulting shock wave destroyed most of the village by itself, but luckily Nagato managed to counter most of the explosion with a powerful Shinra Tensei. Thanks to Nagato's jutsu the Clan house and its inhabitants were spared.
Let me rephrase that.
The clan house and it's, now awakened and pissed off, inhabitants were spared.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? ~TTEBANE!" A now pissed off girl covered in a golden flame with whisker marks appeared in a yellow flash next to Nagato.
"I must say… I am very displeased when my beauty sleep is interrupted." Came a voice as the air next to flaming girl became distorted. From the air pocket appeared a tall rave haired female who had a crimson right eye with three pupils surrounding the center pupil. Her long hair covered her left eye from view.
BGM: NARUTO SHIPPUDEN OST2: Kakuten!
"Naruko look out!" Nagato yelled as what looked like a pitch black figure appeared behind her. Looking closer at the figure it could be described as nothing more than a shadow with blank white anbu mask. Its right arm was distorted into what looked like a pitch black katana blade. The blade was aimed at Naruko's back, but luckily she managed to flash away just in time.
"What the hell!" Naruko shouted at the figure. "Who are you and why are you destroying my home!"
"…" the figure said before two more identical figures appeared on its left and right. With no more words the figures attacked.
"Shinra…TENSEI!" Nagato used his noob repllent…er… signature Jutsu on the figures but to his and his clan mates, surprise the figures acted as if a gust of when hit them and kept running at them, not slowing down in the slightest.
"Planetary Rasengan!" Naruko yelled as she flashed in front of the first figure and planted the devastating attack into its chest, but to her horror the technique began to sink into its black skin and reform in the figure's left hand.
"[Planetary Rasengan X 10]" Naruko's voice came from the figure as it launched its attack at Naruko who flashed to the side as the attack hit the ground next to her.
*BOOOM*
The explosion was greater than Naruko could believe. It was so great that the shockwave flung her into a tree and Nagato into the side of the house. Madara just faded through it though.
…that lucky bitch.
"You know Madara that is not fair." Naruko deadpanned as she flashed next to her best friend.
"You mad?" Madara asked with The Original Uchiha smirk™
"Not now you troll." Naruko stated while shaking her head at Madara's antics. "These things can copy attacks and make them at least 10 times more powerful be careful."
BGM: END
"Tch. It's so obvious how to beat these weaklings." Madara said with a roll of her eye as she stepped toward the three figures. Before they could do anything their masks were embedded with Kunai causing them to fall into a puddle of black liquid. "See?" Madara asked as she looked at her friend condescendingly. "Who's the noob now bitch?"
It's a love hate relationship.
"Shut up you SILF we still have to figure out where these bastards came from." Naruko growled at Madara, who had obtained a confused expression. Unbeknownst to them the three puddles began to form into one body.
"Umm guys…" Madara began to stand up as he saw the body being formed.
"Umm SILF?" Madara had to ask as she wasn't sure if she was insulted or not.
"Sociopath I'd like to Fu-" She began without missing a beat.
"GUYS!" Nagato yelled.
"What you damn P-blocker!" Naruko growled in righteous fury as Nagato deadpanned and pointed behind them. Turning around they saw a single Pitch black figure that was three times the size of the previous ones. It had three heads, six arms, and six legs. "…Fuck. Where's Naruto when you need him?"
-Meanwhile 160 miles away-
"Well it's time to head back." Naruto, the Rokudaime Hokage, thought to himself as he began his trek back to his village after leaving the Kage summit. "3..2.1 make some noise!" Naruto sang to himself."Such a wonderful day look at the little woodland creatures. Nothing can go wrong…" Naruto suddenly stopped with wide eyes.
"I hate you SO much right now." Akane growled at her host as he thought the same thing she did the day she met Madara.
"Fuck." Naruto muttered to himself.
-Konoha-
"[Self destruct X 30]"
Just as the monster was about to explode Nagato shunshined infront of the monster and began to absorb the energy from the monster. Naruko and Madara gave a sigh of relief as Nagato absorbed the monster successfully.
*CRACK*
Madara and Naruko both paled when the unmistakable sound of Nagato's bones breaking was heard.
"Nagato whats wrong?" Madara asked the male counterpart of her previous second in command in concern.
"…It wasn't…*CRACK*…Chakra…*Crack*…Ru-"
*BOOM!*
BGM: NARUTO OST: SADNESS AND SORROW
The explosion rocked the very foundation of Konoha the mysterious energy hit everything including Madara. Because of Naruko's added defense she didn't get a swift death like her friend, but she wouldn't survive…and she knew it. Naruko barely had time to register the horrified expression on her husband's face. She knew he would blame himself for not being there, and she tried to reassure him that everything was ok, but the darkness came too quick.
"NARUKO!" Naruto yelled horrified at the destruction around him. He could do nothing but fall down and look at the remains of his village in morbid fascination.
-With The Shinigami-
"You have to send us back before he does something stupid!" The ethereal form of Madara yelled at the strongest member in her clan, who had a look of great sadness.
"I want to, but you two have no bodies' to return to." The Shinigami said as she watched Naruko break down in tears.
-With Naruto-
"Kit…" Akane said trying to calm her host down, but it was no use as Naruto was too emotionally hurt to be helped.
"I swear…whoever did this…will Die." Naruto growled as he stood up. "They had the nerve to come to my village and kill My MATES!" Naruto roared as his eyes went crimson.
*BAM*
A flash of purple caught Naruto's attention as he saw a black vortex appear in the middle of his destroyed village. Trusting his faithful gut, Naruto quickly activated Sage Mode and his Nine-tails Chakra Mode and flashed toward the vortex unknowingly into one of his hardest adventures yet.
-Fade out-
* Intermission*
"Time for your favorite part of the movie!" Rebuke said in glee. "COMMERCIALS!"
BGM: Bleach: Get smart
"At Rebukes-"
"GET OFF THE FUCKING STAGE!" someone yelled at our hero.
Record scratch
"HEY who said that!" Rebuke yelled pulling out his gun.
"I did." Turning around Rebuke turned around just in time to get a round house kick to the jaw. A hush went over the audience as they stared at the very man who could do anything.
That's right.
Chuck fucking Norris.
"Let's resume the film." Chuck said before glaring at the screen forcing it to turn on as Rebuke laid face down in a puddle of his own blood.
-Fade in-
~Seireitei Current time~
As our favorite blonde haired ninja stepped out of the portal he came face to face with a creature of pure evil. It had milky white skin, long orange hair,and two horns sticking out from the side of its head. Naruto stared down at the monster before chuckling.
Bleach Ost: Treachery
"You're the one who destroyed my home? Funny I thought you would be stronger." Naruto said as he formed a Rasen-shuriken in his right hand. Ichigo in his berserk state only managed to see Naruto come out of a portal Identical to the one that caused the death of his loved ones and assumed Naruto was the reason behind his anguish.
"Wait Ichigo it's a misunderstanding!" Zangetsu tried to explain to Ichigo, but the water from his turmoil made her unable to be heard. Ichigo gave a final roar then attacked. Ichigo got behind Naruto in no time at all with Tensa Zangetsu raised high. Naruto, while surprised at Ichigo's speed, only smirked before simply dropping his justsu on the ground and flashing away from the resulting explosion.
*BOOOM*
"….Kill…" Naruto heard from the cloud of dust and grinned when he saw Ichigo walked away from the crater.
"Tch. Good thing you're alive I want you to suffer for what you have done!" Naruto then threw both of his arms back, formed a Rasen-shuriken in each, and unleashed the disks of doom at the berserk Ichigo. Ichigo growled and released two black waves of death at the disks causing the attacks to cancel each other out and cause another explosion. Naruto flashed before Ichigo in a crouch and attempted to uppercut the berserk Ichigo, but quickly found a black blade buried to the hilt through his chest.
*Poof*
"Rasen-Rengan!" Naruto yelled as he thrust both of the spiraling spheres into Ichigo's back pushing him forward 10 feet. "This thing is unbelievable! He might be my match!" Naruto thought in disbelief. Ichigo quickly spun around completely intent on beheading the blonde ninja but hit thin air as the flaming boy disappeared in a yellow flash.
"Destroy…Youruichi…Rukia…Uryu…Chad…Orihime…" the beast growled as it slowly approached.
"WHO ARE THEY THE REST OF THE PEOPLE YOU'VE KILLED?" Naruto roared before sending a barrage of Chakra claws at the beast in front of him. Ichigo, only understanding part of what Naruto asked, got the wrong Idea and roared again. Ichigo quickly used Tensa Zangetsu to decimate the claws, but when he looked for Naruto again he saw nothing. Ichigo quickly sensed Naruto behind him again and swung his blade behind him, only to miss when Naruto ducked down at the last second. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" Naruto slammed his hand on the ground causing Ichigo to be surrounded by smoke. When the smoke cleared Zangetsu couldn't believe her eyes.
"HOLY SHIT THAT'S A BIG FROG!"
Naruto from on top of Gamabunta gave his order.
"Gamabunta the oil!" Naruto roared as the frog boss leaped into the sky and sprayed Ichigo and a lot of the surrounding area with a brown liquid. Naruto then tossed an exploding kunai at Ichigo.
*Boom*
Ichigo and the surrounding area lit up in a sea of flames and Naruto idly wondered if he got him. Naruto watched with wide eyes as a sea of black rushed at him.
*Poof*
Naruto quickly de-summoned Gamabunta and flashed to safety behind some of the debris. "Shit this is unreal! This guy is completely tanking my strongest Jutsus!" Naruto thought incredulously.
BGM: END
"Naruto wait!" Akane ordered. "Look around at the bodies lying around and tell me what you see!"
Naruto did as he was told and couldn't help but widen his eyes.
"Oh my God there are no slash marks!" Naruto thought incredulously.
"More importantly there is no blood on his blade which only means he didn't do this. Judging by how he fights he's too wild and uncontrolled, meaning that whatever happened here must have hurt him badly." The word's hits Naruto hard as he realized that he may have been wrong. Naruto looked up and saw something that nearly made him break down right there. Naruto sat in front of a sign that said "Rebuke's Food Service". Finally the pieces started falling together.
"FUCK! If Rebuke is here than that means…." Naruto closed his prayed that he was wrong. "A-a-kane…" Naruto began shakily.
"Yes?"
"What color was that monsters hair?" Naruto, for once in his life, prayed that the answer was blue.
"Orange?"
"FUCK ICHIGO!" Naruto mentally roared as he realized that he might have been fighting his pseudo brother this entire time. The next thing Naruto heard chilled his blood.
"!"
*BOOM*
Came the roar of Ichigo as he destroyed the remains of the building Naruto was hiding behind. Naruto flashed to his feet and quickly spun around to face the demonic Ichigo.
"Fuck! I don't have enough time to do a Jutsu! Well maybe I can by myself some time." Naruto thought to himself.
BGM: NARUTO SHIPPUDEN OST: HEAVEN SHAKING EVENT
"U-" Naruto yelled as he released a vicious punch to Ichigo's chest.
"ZU-" Naruto swung his other fist making Ichigo step back from the force.
"MA-" Naruto then jumped up and planted both of his feet on Ichigo's and reached forward.
"KI-" Grabbing Ichigo by his horns, the blonde flipped over Ichigo still holding the horns.
"NARUTO BARRAGE!: Bull Version!"Naruto roared and with all of his strength, tossed Ichigo across the battle field into a white tower.
"Naruto I know how to stop him!"
"HOW?"
"When you grabbed him by the horns I notice his power slip you have to destroy them!" Akane told her host making him smirk.
"Great I'll bring him back to his senses!"
"!" Ichigo began charging a ball of crimson light between his horns making Naruto Narrow his eyes.
"Tch. Let's see how he handles this." Naruto began to form an orb of darkness within his hands as he glared at Ichigo. As the size of th Crimson orb grew the weight of the black orb grew as well causing the ground to crack underneath Naruto. "Only one shot at this."
"AHHHHH!"
-Insert cero release sound-
"BIJUU DAMA!" The wave of energy released from Naruto's hands and collided with the crimson beam causing the world to be covered in a blinding light.
~In the sea of blinding light~
A child Naruto was standing in front of an orange haired little boy who had horns ejecting from his head. Naruto walked up to the boy and noticed that he was crying.
"Do the horns hurt?" Naruto's voice echoed throughout the area making the orange haired kid look up.
"So much…Please help me…"The boy asked with tears in his eyes and winced when Naruto grabbed a hold of his horns.
"You have to trust me though okay?" Naruto asked the boy nodded his head and Naruto pulled the horns.
"AHHHH!"
~Seireitei~
BGM: END
Naruto back in his normal form stood tiredly in front of a weak Ichigo with both of Ichigo's horns in his hands.
"Thank you." Ichigo said before passing out.
"Any time." Naruto responded with a chuckled.
*BAM*
BGM :Smoke Weed Every Day- Snoop Doog feat Dr. Dre
A portal opened and a white card drove out from it and landed in front of Naruto. Naruto could only look in awe as smoke blew out of the window when the rolled down.
"HAHA Naru, my man, whats goin on?" Rebuke laughed loudly. "Yo dawg we bout to go on a big journey, I'll explain later, toss strawberry up in here so we can get out this bitch before the portal closes motha fucka!"
"What the hell has Rebuke been hanging out with Killer bee? Oh well I get my answers soon enough." And with that though Naruto pulled Ichigo's body into the car and rode off into the portal with Rebuke.
~5 hours later~
BGM END
ACT 2: Search for the mystic artifacts.
Ichigo woke up with a groan and searched his surroundings and to his surprise he was sitting in a restaurant with Rebuke and a blonde he's never met before.
"Hey look he's up." The blonde said with a smile as Ichigo wiped his eyes.
"Where am I and who are you?" Ichigo asked curiously as he was sure he had met the blonde somewhere.
"That's Naruto, Yes THAT Naruto, and you are in IHOP." Rebuke said while putting apiece of pancake in his mouth. After getting over the shock of eating with one of his favorite anime characters, Ichigo had to ask…
"Why?" Ichigo asked honestly confused as hell.
"Cause Rebuke here accidently got high and now is suffering from the biggest case of munchies that I have ever seen." Naruto said seriously. Ichigo just shook his head before remembering what exactly happened before he lost control.
"OH MY GOD EVERY-"
"CALM DOWN!" Rebuke shouted before sighing. "Yes a lot of your friends are dead but I plan to fix that, however, to do that would require that you keep a level head ok?" Rebuke waited for Ichigo nod his head. "Good now eat your pancakes they're getting cold."
-30 minutes later-
"Ok…" Rebuke placed his fork down with a sigh. "Ok here's the deal in order for me to bring your loved ones back I'm going to need to get my power-" Rebuke stopped and shook his head with a grimace. "An object back called the Arcana Force." Rebuke corrected himself. "But in order to do that I need to acquire three hidden objects that will allow us to travel to the edge of the universe and bring it back." Rebuke said seriously. "Now we need to put our heads together as the first hidden object we need to find is the Golden Cat statue. The clue that I have is only one word: Cake" Rebuke frowned as he tried to decipher the meaning, "What the hell is cake going to mean?"
BGM: Detective Conan Main Theme
"Well cake is sweet?" Ichigo put in with a sweat drop as Zangetsu snorted.
"No shit Ichigo, that has to be the dumbest thing you have ever-"
"THAT'S IT!" Rebuke exclaimed with wide eyes as Zangetsu sputtered in disbelief.
"What do you mean?" Naruto inquired with a raised eyebrow.
"Tell me what the opposite of sweet is?" Rebuke asked with a grin.
"Sour." Naruto said with a raised eyebrow.
"Great now tell me what the key ingredient in Cake is?" Rebuke asked his companions again.
"Milk right?" Ichigo asked uncertainly and Rebuke grinned wider.
"And tell me my friend just what is sour milk?" Rebuke asked once again.
"Bad." Naruto said with complete seriousness as he rubbed his stomach unconsciously.
"Exactly and whose the baddest of the bad?" Rebuke's grin was beginning to scare them and Ichigo could feel Zangetsu's mind being broken by this conversation.
"The Devil." An old religious lady said from the table across from them making Rebuke sweat drop.
"Err thanks ma'am." Rebuke turned back to his sweat dropping teammates. "And WHAT gentlemen is the Devil often paired up with?" Rebuke asked with an even larger grin as Ichigo began to catch on.
"Sin." Ichigo replied with a confident smirk.
"EXACTLY AND WHERE IS THE EASIEST PLACE TO SIN?" Rebuke was standing up at this point, and Naruto looked on in confusion as Ichigo stood up and walked towards the exit alongside Rebuke.
"Hey where are you going? Don't leave me-ttebayo!" Naruto yelled indignantly. Ichigo and Rebuke turned back to him with identical shit-eating grins and spoke in perfect unison.
"LAS VEGAS BITCHES!" The yelled in perfect synch and exited the door with Naruto running close behind.
"HEY YOU ASS HOLES FORGOT TO PAY!" A pissed off waiter yelled at their backs. Rebuke turned back to the waiter with a smirk.
"Put it on my tab mister. Dragon and Sword master."
BGM: END
~ 2 days later~
BGM: Viva Las Vegas
"Great so were in Vegas but where do we look?" Ichigo asked curiously as Rebuke parked in front of a building called AJ Lexie's.
"Before we go anywhere in fucking Vegas, were not going to be looking like cosplayers." Rebuke deadpanned gesturing down to his assassin outfit, Naruto's Hokage robes, and Ichigo's samurai get up. Ichigo scratched his head sheepishly before a thought occurred to him.
"Wait a second what the hell? People can see me?" Ichigo asked in disbelief as Naruto got confused.
"This isn't your earth this earth is the most normal one out of all of them no ninjas, no hollows, no homicidal demons. Just regular people, so your rules don't apply here and everyone can see you." Rebuke then climbed out of the car a gestured for them to follow him. "Don't worry I have connections."
-AJ Lexies-
BGM: END
BGM: Flawless-George Michael
The three heroes were greeted by a blonde haired blue eyed woman at the front desk.
"Rebuke! It's good to see you again how can I help you?" She asked with a smile.
"Well as you see I have a ninja and a soul reaper with me, that doesn't exactly blend in, so we're going to need some suits." He said producing a card and handing to her.
"I'll be right back!" She said cheerfully before swiping the card. She came back with a bundle of clothes as Ichigo's eyes got wide.
"How exactly are we going to afford this?" He asked nervously as Rebuke shook his head.
"Don't worry it's on me besides it's a little late to ask that now that you are wearing the clothes don'tcha think?" Rebuke asked with a raised eyebrow. Confused Ichigo looked down and to his amazement he was already sporting a black suit with the jacket open and his shirt un-tucked he also noticed that the room got darker and felt his face only to find he was wearing sunglasses.
"What the …"
"…Fuck!" Naruto exclaimed as he looked down he was wearing a similar suit as Ichigo only with the jacket closed and the shirt tucked. Instead of wearing sunglasses he felt his head and noticed that his Hokage hat was replaced with a black fedora. They both turned back to Rebuke to see that he had on a black vest over a white dress shirt, black dress slacks, black dress shoes, and the pair of sunglasses from earlier.
"Now you see why I shop here?" Rebuke deadpanned. "Excellent and speedy service."
"But I thought you said this was a normal earth! I barely saw her move!" Naruto asked a little peeved that a ninja of his caliber was just one-upped in the speed department. Rebuke just shrugged as a sign he didn't know how she did it either. Naruto sighed and began to walk back toward the exit before freezing. "…Rebuke…"
"Yes?"
"Why am I wearing silk boxers…?" Ichigo paled a reached down and realized he was in the same boat as Naruto.
"*whistles* Damn girl you got better?" Rebuke asked with a raised eyebrow as he saw the blonde twirling a pair of froggy boxers on her right index finger. She just smirked and handed him the bag with their old clothes.
"Don't be a stranger." She said to Rebuke as he, Ichigo, and Naruto began to exit the building. He gave a short wave in acknowledgement before exiting the building with his companions.
BGM: END
-Outside-
"So now where?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow as they got in the car.
"Tell me what another name for cat is?" Rebuke asked Naruto blushed and Ichigo grinned.
"I don't understand what THAT has to do with anything." Naruto deadpanned as Ichigo and Rebuke shared a look and spoke in perfect unison.
"Girls Girls Girls!"
-45 minutes later-
"Ok here's the deal." Rebuke said as he parked the car. "Inside there is going to be a guardian protecting the statue and the only way we can get it is by defeating him, but the problem is due to my lack of Arcana Force there are no cheats, no bonuses, no access to avatars, or health recovery items. It's do or die." Rebuke said seriously as they exited the car. Naruto grimaced.
"Damn if only there was some way to increase our odds." Naruto then stopped and grinned. He discretely made some clones and made them sneak into the club. Naruto caught up in his attempt to show up Rebuke and Ichigo did not notice Ichigo grab the Mp3 player from the glove compartment or Rebuke hang up his phone.
-In the club-
The three looked around the club before spotting what they came for the small golden cat statue sitting on the counter of the bar. Deciding to get this over with Naruto raised his hands which signaled the hidden clones to swarm the bartender.
"NARUTOOO UZUMAKIIIIIII" the clones and the original yelled as they jumped at the statue much to Rebuke and Ichigo's disbelief. Rebuke recovered first.
"Shit stick to the plan!" Rebuke ordered as he pulled his trust gun to his temple and pulled the trigger.
*CRACK*
"Yoshitsune…" The red clad samurai appeared behind Rebuke just as he, Naruto, and Ichigo were warped to what appeared to be a bizarre desert. The sand was pitch black and the sky dark but illuminated by a crimson moon. Rebuke sighed before glaring at Naruto "Damnit man! What the hell?"
"I thought I could grab it and steal it and avoid conflict I AM a ninja afterall-ttebayo." Naruto deadpanned. He quickly tossed a kunai behind him when he heard a noise. Rebuke and Ichigo set up their guard in case things got messy.
*BAM*
They shielded their eyes as a purple flash struck between then causing them to fly back. When they opened their eyes they saw a skeleton dressed in a black garment holding a scythe.
"So you are the ones who tried to take MY treasure…" The skeleton asked with a tilt of its head. "Well good luck for there is no hope to defeat me for I am the only Grim reaper. I. AM. Death." Death's voice boomed through the desert. He waited for their reactions of fear, but what he got instead was…
"BULLLSHITTT." Courtesy of Naruto.
"*Snort* Cool story bro." Via one unimpressed Ichigo Kurosaki.
"SWEET GOD TAKE ME AWAY NOW!" from Rebuke.
"Wha-" Death was absolutely flabbergasted at the reactions. Naruto stepped forward with a raised eyebrow.
"Mother fucker I've literally had an orgy with the fucking Shinigami-Queen do you HONESTLY thing I'm going to be impressed by your bullshit." Naruto deadpanned making Death step back in shock as he could sense no lies from the blonde. Ichigo was next.
"And I AM a grim reaper as a part time job AND I'm one of the strongest. You think you're good? You think YOU have game? Well game recognizes game and you look unfamiliar as fuck right now."
"Achoo!"
"Bless you Naruto." Ichigo said to his friend before turning back to the scared skeleton.
"For the love of God I've been around for CENTURIES! Take me out now!" Rebuke exclaimed as he fell down in front of the skeleton and bowed his head. "Here's a clean view of my neck do it now!" Rebuke begged making the Skeleton scurry back in fear.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? I'm getting the fuck out of here!" Death was so scared, in fact, he didn't even try to fade away he just ran off but too his dismay our heroes followed him.
"Get back here with our cat you ass hole!" Ichigo roared before he put his mp3 player on speaker and began blasting his favorite song.
BGM: Bleach OST: Number one
"That's right show them the power of a badass!" Zangetsu commanded as Ichigo suddenly gained a burst of speed and tackled the skeleton to the ground causing the dimension to shatter as they reappeared in the parking lot of the club.
"You'll never get this cat from me!" Death roared as he flung Ichigo off of him and continued to make a run for it. Ichigo was about to Getsuga the wannabe reaper to oblivion, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Turning around he came face to face with Rebuke who, with a phone to his ear, shook his head.
"Malix2 do it now." Rebuke said in monotone making Ichigo and Naruto glace at him in confusion then turn back to the running skeleton.
*BOOM!*
*Thud*
"Headshot!" Came a voice the echoed through the night sky and Rebuke's phone.
"Good job and keep up the reviews." And with that Rebuke hung up his cell and quickly jogged towards the skeleton and pulled off its mask revealing him to be….
"…Err isn't this the guy whose car I stole?" Rebuke thought with a sweat drop. "What the hell? Was he following me?" Rebuke picked up the cat statue and walked back to his teammates and climbed into the Rebuke-mobile. Naruto was the first to ask the obvious question.
"What now?"
"Simple this will create a portal leading us the last two artifacts: The Rain Bow crystal and the Prisim of Power." Rebuke said, but quickly gained a solemn expression. "But for its power to be used the user will give up his most precious possession. Problem now is who uses it? It doesn't matter in the long run for if I get the Arcana Force back I should be able to replace whatever was lost." The silence was deafening before Ichigo gained a determined look.
"Well gentlemen there is only one way to settle this, a free for all battle to the finish, no holding back." Ichigo said as the other two nodded. "Well then shall we begin?" One more concerned glace was shared between the group before they all pulled back their fists.
"ROCK"
"PAPER"
"SCISSORS!"
"SON OF A BITCH!"
~10 minutes later~
The group was driving through a purple tunnel after the portal was opened. The silence in the car was incredible until Naruto spoke.
"You know Ichigo I don't believe I have ever been in such lovely company." Naruto mused as Ichigo glanced at him.
"I know right? We are so lucky to have such an attractive chauffeur…" Ichigo trailed off as he saw the barrel of a gun pointing in his face.
*Click*
"Unless you want to help change the color of those white seats to red I'd suggest shutting the fuck up." Came the feminine growl from the Game-Mast-er Mistress (AN: SON OF A BITCH! WHY THE FUCK DO I USE PAPER SO MUCH?)
~At end of tunnel~
Our heroes and….heroine exited the car after parking on the grass of the field; there was no civilization for miles it seemed.
BGM: Persona 4: I'll face my self-battle-
"My my what do we have here?" Came the venomous voice of Shadow-Izanami as she faded into view behind Rebuke and gave her an appreciative glance. "Appears we are more alike than I figured." She raised an eyebrow at the growl she received, but continued nonetheless. "I assume you are going to be after my artifacts hmm?" Izanami asked with a tilt of her head. "If you can beat me they are yours."
"Fine then Ichigo…Naruto... let's get ready…" Rebuke said as she pulled out a second gun.
"Nah… this one's all you sis!" Naruto said giving her the nice guy pose as Ichigo mirrored his actions. Rebuke gaped at them for a second before finally asking.
"…What?"
"Well considering she is YOUR responsibility and a part of YOU and how this whole mess is kind of YOUR fault we figured YOU should be the one to defeat YOUR shadow." Naruto said before unsealing two lawn chairs and some ramen bowls.
"Besides…" Ichigo began as he sat down." This whole trip, excluding the last 30 minutes, was a sausage fest and I can use a good old fashion cat-fight…Good luck!" Ichigo said giving her a thumbs up.
"YOU BASTARDS!"
"You mad?" Ichigo and Naruto asked in perfect unison while wearing identical shit eating grins. Rebuke was tempted to shoot them, but she had to dodge an ebony spear that tore her vest off.
"THAT'S WHAT I"M TALKING ABOUT-TEBBAYO!"
"I HATE YOU ALL!" Rebuke yelled in righteous furry before unloading a clip of bullets at her former servant.
"Aww who the hell brings guns to a spear fight?" Ichigigo complained as Naruto slurped his ramen.
"A smart ass mother fucker." Naruto answered seriously.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP IN THE PEANUT GALLERY!" Rebuke ordered before pulling her evoker to her head.
*CRACK*
"[Elec Boost]"
*Crack*
"[Ziodyne]" Yoshitsune crossed his blades and released a powerful wave of lightning at a bored looking Izanami who yawned.
"Such a bore let me remind you what a REAL electric attack is."Izanami smirked as she side stepped the blast of lightining. "[Mind Charge]" Izanami felt her attacking power double instantly before she raised her hand at a wide-eyed Rebuke. [Oho-Ikazuchi] The wave of lightning was so big that Ichigo, who had not seen that combination before did a spit-take with his ramen. Naruto gave him a mock glare
*BOOM*
"Don't waste the ramen!"
"But did you SEE that? I shouldn't have let you talk me out of helping there's no way Rebuke could survive THAT head on!"
"Doesn't matter Rebuke already won." Naruto said with a sigh as Ichigo gave him an Incredulous look. "You didn't see Rebuke's face that attack was EXACTLY what she wanted."
"Heh you are strong Izanami but you forget without me you ARE NOTHING!" Rebuke roared as Yoshitsune's body was over flowing with power making Izanami's eyes widen. "You are too cocky without me and cannot access your true form without a host." Rebuke declared as Izanami was too shocked to move. "Tch. Yoshitsune stop holding the electricity, you can relax now I said my words to the trash." Rebuke turned around as soon Yoshitsune released the blast.
*BOOM*
BGM: END
Rebuke walked up to Naruto, who had blank expression on his face.
"Good you're finished eating, I need you to make some clones to go grab the last two artifacts." Rebuke said as she stretched her arms. Naruto did as he was asked, but as soon as the clones disappeared…
BGM: Persona 4: I'll face myself(Regular)
*SMACK*
The force of the blow made Rebuke's head snap to the side.
"DAMMMNNNN" That came from Ichigo
"What the hell was wrong with you? I TOLD you to look after her better and all you did was nearly destroy her!" Naruto yelled at the white haired girl. Whose eyes widened in shock.
"Nearly?" Glancing to the side she could still see Izanami breathing her body began to fade away. "Tch." Rebuke raised her gun and took aim at the back of her servants head.
*Click*
*BAM!*
The bullet embedded itself one inch away from Izanami courtesy of Naruto smacking Rebukes hand at the last second.
"DAMNIT! REBUKE WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY HER!"
"WHY! She tried to kill me TWICE for something that was HER fault and not only that but…"
"BUT WHAT!"
"She's the fucking reason I'm Immortal! If I get rid of her I'll be able to rest in peace!" Rebuke roared as she took aim again.
"DON'T!"
*click*
*click*
*click**Click**Click*
"Damnit!" Rebuke roared as he tossed her gun onto the ground with tears in her eyes.
"Give up and calm down!" Naruto ordered as he put a hand on her shoulder. Rebuke took a deep breath before standing up and began walking toward the fading woman.
"REBU-"
"Stop." Ichigo told Naruto. "Trust her I've seen that look in people's eye before it was one of hatred, but now it's of determination. so just Shut up and watch."
-With Rebuke and Izanami-
Rebuke lied down next to the fading woman and gave a humorless laugh before turning to the shocked shadow.
"You know…my gun makes its own bullets…for it to misfire five times means that the gods have cursed you to live huh?"
"What do you mean I'm fading away here!" Izanami yelled as Rebuke shook her head with a small smile.
"Tell me do you want to die?"
"Yes! I hate living as much as you so this is perfect!" Izanami glared at the woman next to her fiercely.
"Well…I've been thinking…" Rebuke began with a small grin. "Since you did try to kill me TWICE your punishment is…Life." Rebuke smile larger as Izanami's eyes widened. "Well it seems weird that only part of me gets to die while the rest is trapped for eternity in this fucked up place called life." Rebuke answered Izanami's unanswered question. "I am thou and thou art I …or however that saying goes." Rebuke said dismissively.
"Wha-"
"Geez how many ways do I have t say it! Even though you are acting slow as hell right now. YOU. ARE. ME." And with that Izanami's body was engulfed in a bright light, and where her body once was laid a card that had a picture of a pale skinned, crimson eyed, and white haired goddess. The card flew in to Rebuke's body and into the sea of her soul. Rebuke lied on the ground for another half an hour with a small smile as Ichigo and Naruto smirked.
~45 minutes later~
ACT3: Finale
"So now what?" Ichigo asked Rebuke curiously.
"NOW we got to the edge and get my dick back." Rebuke muttered to herself.
"Okay put the cat, prism, and crystal together so we can get there-ttebayo!" Naruto yelled enthusiastically as Ichigo nodded his head in agreement. Rebuke began to put the pieces together, but paled when e realized what the shape had made.
"Dear lord KN-" Rebuke's yell was cut off by the most annoying sound ever.
BGM:Nyan-Cat
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Rebuke, Naruto, Ichigo, even Akane, Izanami, and Zangetsu yelled in perfect unison. The small Cat began to run in front of them and jump into the sky creating a rainbow bridge to the stars.
-50 minutes later-
"SON OF A BITCH!" Ichigo yelled from the passenger seat as they continued to follow the cat through space itself as they followed the cat for almost an hour. Rebuke's hand were snow white from clutching steering wheel hard as she growled through gritted teeth.
"I will destroy that cat!" She growled with an insane expression on her face silently wanting to do nothing but kill the cat and Naruto at the moment.
-Flash back 48 minutes-
"Fuck that!" Naruto growled as he covered his ears. HE turned to the Rebuke-Mobile and began to walk towards it with a purpose.
"Where you going?" Rebuke asked as she followed him. Naruto gave a smirk and slapped the back of the car causing a seal to appear on it. He gave her the Uzumaki grin as she gritted her teeth. "Hell no."
"Yup! Have fun driving behind the kitty I'm going to just teleport there when you reach the destination have fun!-ttebayo" Naruto chirped as Ichigo and Rebuke had to stop themselves from destroying the blonde haired asshole in front of them.
-Present-
"Look a portal!"Ichigo pointed out toward the rainbow ring that had opened up at the end of the road. Rebuke smirked before flooring the car so that they wouldn't have to deal with anymore of that horrible music.
*BAM!*
BGM: END
-BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY!-
Rebuke and Ichigo drove out of the portal and landed on a cliff in front of 900 GMG's. Looking around they could see that they landed on top of some purple canyon.
"…..oh this isn't good." Ichigo muttered as Naruto flashed toward their location.
"Maybe not, but this going to be easy as fuck." Naruto said simply as Rebuke nodded her head in agreement.
"ARE YOU CRAZY? Do you know how long it took me to beat 300 of these freaks?" Ichigo roared as Naruto and Rebuke shared a wide-eyed look.
*snort*
"*cough* noob*cough*"
Ichigo glared at his two companions fiercely as they tried to suppress their laughter. Rebuke turned to Naruto after getting her laughter out.
"Naruto I know this may be hard for you to understand, but even though Ichigo is just as strong as us…"She trailed off before her laughter came back again. Shaking her head she continued. "…He only has ONE move." She said in complete seriousness as Naruto gaped at her.
"…That's so STUPID! I mean who tries to get by using only ONE mov-"He stopped when Rebuke and Ichigo both gave him pointed looks. "Rasengan and Kage Bunshin are TWO moves thank you very much!" Rebuke just shook her head before looking at the GMG's
"Okay this is what's going to happen we are going to split them up evenly. We each get 300 now I'm going to need you to buy me some time so I can wipe them out-"
"ICHIGOOOOOOO KUROSAKIIIIIIIIIIII" Ichigo roared as he charged at the giant hollows. Naruto gaped before finally spluttering.
'"…Oh my God…He just ran in…" Naruto said in a horrified whisper making Rebuke grab her hair.
"I HATE YOU BOTH!" Rebuke growled before shaking her head." Just leave him we'll get him eventually let's just take out our 600." Naruto nodded a disappeared in a swirl of leaves Rebuke turned to her group and raised her gun.
-With Ichigo-
BGM: Bleach OST: Chokkaku
Ichigo rammed his blade through the mask of the first GMG.
"Ban…KAI!" The beam that erupted from his blade continued forward and destroyed 10 hollows behind the first one.
"290 to go…" Ichigo muttered be for teleporting in the middle of the group via Shunpo. "Getsuga…TENSHOU!" The ebony wave quickly decimated whoever was foolish enough to run at him first.
-With Naruto-
BGM-intterupted!-
BGM:Naruto: Ost Lightning speed!
"Tajuu!:Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Thousands of Naruto's quickly filled the area with Three Pronged Kunai in their hands. "Kunai: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" the battle field and the hollows were quickly field with Kunai as Naruto smirked and disappeared in a yellow flash. Naruto quickly reappeared with a smirk. "Like a Boss." Naruto said as he began walking toward Rebuke as all his enemies fell apart in thousands of pieces.
-With Rebuke-
BGM: Interrupted!
BGM: Persona 3: Mass Destruction
Rebuke looked at her enemies with a bored stare before pulling the trigger of his gun.
*Crack*
"Yoshitsune" As the Red-clad samurai appeared Rebuke sides stepped a blow from one of the berserk Hollows.
*Crack*
[Heat Riser] Rebuke smirked as she began to feel her power increase as he dodged more of the blows.
*CRACK*
[Power Charge]
"Great now that my attack power has increased by 140% I'll destroy these noobs once and for all." Rebuke thought with an evil smirk as she shot herself one last time
*Crack*
[Hassou Tobi] The world area seemed to turn black and white with only the color of Yoshitsune's crimson armor showing through. The Samurai stepped forward with his swords drawn and sheathed them with a resounding *Click*. One by one, eight giant crimson slash appeared on the ground as all of the enemies gained eight severe gashes on their bodies. The hollows couldn't even screetch before they fell apart into eight huge chunks and disappeared in the air.
BGM:END
"Hmm not bad I might wanna have a rematch-ttebayo!" Rebuke glanced at his blonde friend for a second and they both soon erupted in a fit of laughter.
-A few minutes later-
"I'm done…and so are you…" Ichigo said with a sweat drop as he walked toward his companions who were playing poker Rebuke just shook her head as she stood up.
"Noob." Naruto muttered causing Ichigo to glare at him. They all turned to a cave and began walking toward it.
"The Arcana Force should be at the end of this cave. Now we can get your friends and my gender back." Rebuke stated happily as they walked toward to cave.
-At the end of the Cave-
As they exited the cave they quickly realized that they were in a room of white. It was filled with nice white furniture and even had a big screen TV. Naruto and Ichigo looked around in awe before quickly spotting a pitch black orb that had a floating white "0" in the center. Naruto turned toward Rebuke.
"Hey is that the Ar-"He stopped when he saw the look of pure disbelief on his once male friend's face.
*SMACK*
"I don't believe it…" Rebuke growled from beneath her hand, she wasted no time in summoning her white haired servant.
*Crack*
"Izanami…" Rebuke growled her name, but not because she summoned her.
Oh no.
She was PISSED and Izanami knew it.
"Yes...Mas-er-Mistress?" She asked nervously as Rebuke glared at her. HARD
"Tell me what do you see?" She asked calmly.
"The Arcana Force"
"And where is it?"
"In a couch"
"And where are WE." Rebuke growled as Naruto started to get an idea of what was going on.
"Oh you have got to be shitting me-ttebayo!"
"Our living room." Izanami spoke, now hiding behind Ichigo who was doing a great combination of gaping and glaring.
*RING*
"WHAT!" Rebuke yelled as she answered her phone.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH-" Rebuke could hear Rose and Igor laughing there asses off and hung up the phone.
*Snap*
Before Rebuke could get in a fight with her servant AGAIN, she heard an evil chuckle and came face to face with a petite red haired girl, with bright blue eyes who now had the orb in her hand. She also wore a black Kimono with a flame pattern on the edges.
"Alice…"Rebuke roared as the girl gave him a large grin.
"Well hello Rebuke-CHAN"
-cue eye twitch-
"Thank you so much for keeping this safe for me all of these years." She said sincerely although everyone one could see the evil intent in her eyes. "Now I can use this to fuse myself with the shadow of the Universe's greatest Warrior and Rule EVERYTHING!*giggle*" Naruto gained a determined look as Rebuke and Ichigo paled.
"Like you are going to get my shadow-ttebayo." Naruto yelled as he got into a fighting stance making the girl snort at him.
"Please you weakling like I would dirty my perfect form with YOUR shadow. " The orb in her hand glowed bright purple before a resounding crack filled the room as a portal appeared in the center of the room. Slowly but surely a tall figure began to step out of the portal "I'm going to use…"
"…Goku…" Ichigo murmured with wide eyes as Rebuke took a step back in horror. Naruto gained a confused look.
"…Who?"
"You know how I told you that your reality may be another one's fiction?" Naruto nodded his head as Rebuke continued. "Well from the book you and Ichigo are from…He would be your king." Naruto snapped his head toward her in disbelief. "In fact HE'S the reason you wear orange." That caused Naruto to step back as well. They watched as Alice faded into the blue Goku with yellow eyes.
"Crap come on guys we have to pull together we can't lose now!" Ichigo yelled making Rebuke stop shaking and make Naruto get into a fighting stance.
"Ok here's the pla-"Rebuke sadly never got to finish her orders as Goku teleported right in front of her.
*BAM*
*Crash*
Rebuke was launched from the living room and crashed into the stove in her kitchen courtesy of Goku's right hand. She slumped to the ground in a bloody heap. Ichigo and Naruto looked in shock as the evil Saiyan turned back toward them.
BGM: Bleach OST Stand up be strong pt 1
"Fuck I'm going to have to use it!" Ichigo thought as he activated his Final Getsuga Tenshou. He was then engulfed in black energy. Naruto, having similar thoughts as Ichigo, activated his Sage Mode and Nine-tails Chakra Mode.
*BOOM*
The amount of power being emitted destroyed a majority of the house sending everyone outside to the canyon.
"Go ahead do your worst." Shadow Goku said with a smirk as Ichigo, in final Getsuga form, and Naruto landed in front of him.
"Naruto…even though he's stronger he'll still be unable to survive if we hit him with our hardest attacks." Ichigo whispered to Naruto. "Quick prepare a Biju-what!"
BGM:Interrupted!
BGM: Super Saiyan 3 transformation.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Why can't we MOVE!"Naruto panicked as Goku began to cause shock waves.
""
"I don't Know! Fuck is this why enemies let the heroes charge their attacks in DBZ?" Ichigo thought to himself incredulously.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"How long is he going to be doing this!"
-5 minutes later-
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
*BOOM*
When the smoke cleared the heroes came face to face with Goku in his Super Saiyan 3 transformation. Although his Hair was Bright purple and his eyes were red.
-With Rebuke-
"Shit how long was I out?" Rebuke glanced toward her destroyed guns. "SHIT! Oh well gotta summon her the boring way." Rebuke held out her right hand as a card appeared in it. As soon as it did she crushed it within her palm summoning her faithful summon next to her. "Izanami help me up we have to get to my weapons room I know how to take him out, but we have to hurry before he decides to planet bust!"
-With Naruto-
"PLANET BUST! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HE CAN DO THAT! THAT'S BULL SHIT!" Naruto yelled after Ichigo told him what he feared Goku would do with that amount of energy. Ichigo just nodded his head grimly.
"And with this output he might take out the moon and Venus as well." Ichigo said seriously making Naruto pale more before finally saying something he thought he would NEVER say.
"I quit." Naruto said seriously as he depowered
"What?" Ichigo said in shock.
"You don't HONESTLY think you have a chance do you? Mr. one move." Naruto deadpanned.
"YOU…have a point. " Ichigo said depowering as well with a sweat drop.
"Sides it won't be too bad, dying that is." Naruto continued at Ichigo's confused look. "Hmm? Oh I was serious, I'm fucking death." Ichigo gaped at him.
"*Sigh* Whatever. It would take a miracle…any..way…" Ichigo slowed down as Naruto smirked.
"All according to plan-ttebayo!" Naruto yelled making everyone look at him. Even Goku.
"What are you weaklings talking about?" Goku-Alice snapped making Naruto grin largely at her.
"Well by pretending that I, Naruto-never-say- quit- Uzumaki, had finally given up it caused Ichigo to give up aswell."
"Okay so…?"
"When someone who is truly without hope is fighting an unbeatable enemy, and say "It will take a miracle" that miracle tends to happen." Naruto said seriously as Ichigo smirked. Goku just rolled his eyes and prepared a Kamehameha.
"Hey you eye browless-freak! Turn Around!" Shocked Shadow-Goku turned just in time to see Rebuke standing there with a bow and arrow. Growling Goku released the beam just as Rebuke released the arrow.
*Shtck!*
*Boom!* And the word went white.
BGM: End
~Days later~
BGM: Persona 3: Memories of You
The now Male Rebuke stood in front of Ichigo and Naruto with a sad smile.
"Well it was fun, but now that I've fixed your planets it's time for you to go."
*snap!*
As Naruto and Ichigo began to fade away Naruto yelled one thing to his new friend.
"Hey Ichigo! Don't worry about having to girls that like you, if you're like me it'll work out in the end. Just go with the flow!" Ichigo just nodded with a smile and disappeared. Rebuke sighed when his friends left and turned toward Izanami.
"Izanami…"
"Yes?" She asked nervously.
"Let's get back to work." And with that Rebuke walked back to his house leaving a stunned Izanami behind him.
"Yes Master!"
-With Naruto-
"How did the meeting go?" Naruko asked curiously as Naruto reentered his house. Naruto pulled her into a hug and twirled her around.
"Do I have a story to tell you-ttebayo!"
-With Ichigo-
Ichigo shook as he realized Yoruichi was standing in front of him trying to get his attention.
"Hurry up Ichigo we have to get to Kukkaku's house by night time!" Yoruichi said with an eye-twitch as Ichigo smiled.
-With the Shinigami-
"You know I used to be an omnipotent goddess just like you." The ethereal figure of Alice said with a sigh making the the Shinigami raise an eyebrow.
"What happened?"
"I took an arrow to the knee…"
FIN
ANNNNNNNNNNND CUT! How was that? Did that make up for the lack of updates?
Outtakes
~Outtake one~
"Hey do you still hurt from when I pulled the horns out?" Naruto asked Ichigo gently. Ichigo shook his head with a small smile.
"Not with you here it doesn't…"
BGM: Careless whisper(instrumental)~ George Michael: Sax version
"Ichigo…"
"…Naruto…
"No homo right?" Rebuke asked them with a raised eyebrow as Naruto turned to him with flames in his eyes.
"ALL OF THE HOMO!"
CUT!
~Outtake 2~
Looking back at rebuke they could see that he was dressed in…
…nothing but his boxers what the fuck?
"DAMNIT!"
"Sorry I sneezed." The blonde said while blowing her nose.
CUT!
~Outtake 3~
"Do it now." Rebuke said to the phone before feeling great pain then nothing.
"BOOM HEADSHOT!...Rebuke…Rebuke…oh sh-
CUT!
Credit to CardGamesFTW for the no homo scene.
For all of you who don't get why goku got beat by an arrow why don't you read some comments for about 10 minutes on ANY skyrim video on youtube before you flame.
READ AND REVIEW
AND I'll Get back to Bakudo X later
Your favorite, and happily male, crack author
~RebukeX7