Heyyyoooo Here's a longer one for ya! I know I'm focusing on Mariana right now, but I think it fits for this story.
Nearing 9 am, Stef had finished filling out the discharge papers, and Lena was helping Mariana into some sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt that Stef had brought back with her from home.
"Come on, sweetheart" Lena cooed as she tried to get the girl's pants on under the hospital gown. Mariana simply sat on the edge of the bed, eyes blank, face still, not moving to help at all.
Lena sighed and took her daughter's face gently into her hands. "Baby, please help me get you dressed so we can get you home." She knew the girl was probably hurting and didn't want to move, but Lena couldn't lift the girl and change the clothes at the same time.
Mariana looked almost through her mother, not responding and as if she hadn't even acknowledged that the woman had spoken.
"Ready?" Stef asked as she poked her head into the room, paperwork in her hands about ways to help the girl at home and things to look out for.
Lena, with the girl's face still in her hands, looked over her shoulder at her wife and shook her head.
Stef walked into the room cautiously and knelt down next to her wife. "What's wrong, love?" She asked as she looked at her daughter, but her question was directed at her wife.
"I can't get her dressed. It's like she doesn't even know I'm here." Lena answered sadly.
Stef nodded and kissed the girl on the temple. "Come on, sweets. Let's get you dressed and out of here." She said before lifting the girl up as gently as possible so Lena could pull her pants up all of the way.
Both older women glanced at each other. It had been years since they had dressed one of their children. Typically, it was Jesus who they had to hold down in order to get him to change from his dirty clothes into clean ones, and that was when he was 7.
"Ok, sweetie. Let's put on your shirt." Stef said. She waited a moment before sighing and taking the girl's hands in her own and slowly putting one arm in it's sleeve, followed by the other arm. She was glad that she grabbed a shirt that buttoned up the front so Mariana didn't have to worry about lifting her arms up to get the clothing on.
Finally, after some struggling and a few whimpers from the girl, Mariana was dressed and ready to go home.
"Mrs. Adams Foster?" A nurse knocked on the still slightly open door and both Lena and Stef looked over in her direction.
"Come on in." Stef responded with a slight smile. "We were just about to bust Mariana outa here." She gently nudged her daughter, hoping to get even a smile out of the girl.
The nurse smiled back and nodded. "Good. You will feel so much better at home." She then looked at the moms and gave them the look that she needed to tell them something, something without little ears listening in.
Lena spoke up. "I'll be right back. Mari, why don't you let mom help you into the wheelchair so we can get to the car." She said as she and her wife had a silent conversation with their eyes. Stef nodded in agreement and looked down at her daughter as her wife followed the nurse outside. "Come on, love! I'll help you."
Lena followed the nurse outside of the room, but put her hand out to stop the woman from going further. "She can't hear us from here. What's going on? Is is Jesus?" She asked with a worried tone.
The nurse licked her lips in anticipation, but shook her head no. "Your son is doing alright as of now, but I'm so sorry, the baby... We tried everything we could, but we couldn't save the baby." Lena felt her heart stop for the umpteenth time in 24 hours. Although it wasn't her baby, she felt all of the emotions from her miscarriage bubble up to the surface.
"I know she wasn't yours, but is there someone who I need to contact?" The nurse continued as she saw the reaction from Lena.
Slowly, the brunette shook her head no. "Thank you for telling me. I'll let the others know when we get home." She explained.
Nodding in understanding, the nurse gave Lena a soft squeeze on the arm and walked off, leaving the mother to her thoughts.
Finally, after a few minutes of composing herself, she walked back into the room where she saw Stef sitting on the bed with Mariana curled up in her arms.
Lena gave her wife a confused look and Stef closed her eyes as she bit her lip. Walking over to her wife and child, Lena knelt down and looked up at the girl who she loved endlessly. "Mari, sweetie. Don't you want to go home?" She asked, not knowing exactly what had prompted the current situation, but also knowing that the sooner they could get home, the sooner her healing would start... or so they hoped.
The Latina nodded slightly at her mother's question, but as Stef stood up to place her in the wheelchair, she tightened her grip on her mother and winced in pain.
Stef stood back up and rocked her daughter in her arms. She knew if the girl had been feeling any part of ok she would not be this clingy, but at the moment, she had retreated back into the 5-year-old girl who had first come to stay with them.
Suddenly, Lena had an idea. She sat herself down in the wheelchair and held her arms out wide. Stef, understanding what her wife was doing, leaned down to whisper in her daughter's ear. "I'm gonna sit you on mama's lap and push both of you in the wheelchair, ok?"
Mariana peered out from her mother's shirt and saw that Lena was in fact sitting in the wheelchair with her arms out and waiting. She nodded ever so slightly and Stef kissed her head before gently placing her small body in the waiting woman's arms.
"We'll be home soon, my love." Lena whispered as she felt her daughter snuggle further into her mother's embrace and close her eyes.
Stef grabbed her and Lena's purse, sling them over the handles of the wheelchair, and gripped the handles of the chair.
Both mothers were glad they were getting their daughter home, but they both hesitated to leave when their son was still lying in a hospital bed. However, Dr. Anderson had assured them that he would not be coming out of his coma anytime soon and that they were better off both taking their daughter home and getting her situated than sitting in one of the chairs in their son's room.
The women nodded and made their way towards their car, each lost in their own thoughts. Stef hoping she could get her family through everything, Mariana wondering why she couldn't see her brother, and Lena holding onto a piece of information that she knew her daughter could not handle, at least not yet.
"We're here, my loves." Stef announced from the driver's seat of the car.
Mariana had not let go of Lena once they arrived at the car, so Lena crawled in the back and sat next to her daughter, just as she had done when the twins had first come to live with them. Once Stef had lifted the girl into the car, she curled up into Lena and buried her head in her mother's shirt, and that is the same position Stef found her in when she turned around after putting the car in park and turning off the ignition.
"Is she asleep?" Stef asked.
Lena tried to maneuver the girl slightly to see, but the tightened grip on her shirt answered the question. She shook her head and patted her daughter's arm. "Come on, Mari. Let's get you inside and into a nice warm shower." Lena whispered as she began to move in the hopes that her daughter would follow suit.
Slightly wincing at the pain in her ribs, Mariana lifted herself up and Lena slid out, though she kept a steady hand on her daughter's back. "Mom's coming around to help you out. Hold on a minute." Lena called to her as Stef hurriedly got out of the driver's seat and made her way to the open door.
Stef stepped in slightly and placed her arms under her daughter's lags and behind her back. The girl was already small to begin, and the fact that she hadn't eaten since she was admitted to the hospital, she seemed lighter than normal. Stef easily lifted her and pulled her close to her body for extra support and comfort.
Lena grabbed the purses and bags from the passenger's seat and closed the door once Stef had the girl out of the car completely.
The two walked up to the door and Lena quickly go that keys out to open the front door.
Not knowing what time Stef would be back, Mike had taken the time in which the kids were sleeping to get some sleep himself. He was on the couch with a throw blanket over his body when Stef and Lena walked into the house.
Being a light sleeper, he woke up when the door opened and then closed moments later. Wiping the sleep out of his eyes and yawning slightly, he stood up and greeted the women.
"How is she doing?" He asked as Stef made her way into the house and directly up the stairs with Mariana in her arms.
"Uhhh she's having a hard time with everything." Lena responded.
"And Jesus?" Mike asked. He had a pretty good idea that the boy was at least stable for the time being, or he knew both moms wouldn't be home.
Lena bit her lip. "He's... he's in a coma, but the doctors said he should be coming out of it in the next few days." She responded, clearly anxious about the subject. "How are the kids? Sleeping?" She quickly asked, trying to change the subject. She hated that she couldn't be with all of her children at this difficult time.
Mike ran his fingers through his hair and exhaled. "Yeah. Well at least they were when I checked on them at..." He checked his watch "About 2 hours ago." He said with another exhale. "Though I'm not sure how much sleep they actually got." He confessed.
Lena nodded in understanding. She knew her children were worried, and rightly so. She was glad to be home at least for a little while and be able to hold them and talk to them to see how they were for herself. She knew Callie was taking things difficult and she wanted to talk to the girl about her little night out event.
"Thank you so much, Mike. For staying." Lena said as she looked to go upstairs. She needed to be with her children.
"Do you need me to stay in case you need to go in again?" Mike asked, both knowing he was talking about when they had to see about Jesus.
Lena thought for a moment, but shook her head. "You don't have to. You can go home, sleep, take a shower." She assured him.
"Really Lena, I don't mind. I was having a nice sleep on the couch." He said with a small smile. "Just in case." He added.
Lena knew it would probably be smart to have another adult around in case any of the children needed something more than the two moms could handle, but Lena felt awkward having her wife's ex husband being the extra help.
At the sound of feet coming down the stairs, both parents looked and saw Brandon, his face etched with worry. "Thank you, Mike. That would really help." She responded finally with a smile before directing her attention to her son.
"Hey, bud." She said with an exhausted tone, which she tried to play off as just a yawn.
"Hey." Brandon responded in a similar manner, letting Lena know that he, and probably the other two, hadn't slept well.
"Did you sleep at all?" She asked, though she was pretty sure she knew the answer.
"How is Jesus?" Was his response. He had spent hours at home not knowing what was going on with his siblings and he didn't want to waste more time talking about what little sleep he got. He could see that Mariana wasn't in the best shape, but at least she was home. He hadn't heard anything new about his brother and he knew he needed to be straight about his question.
Lena looked at him with a sad smile. "Doctor said he should be coming out of his coma within the next few days, but as of now, nothing has changed." She explained as she put a reassuring hand on his arm.
At the look of fear on her son's face, she continued. "The coma is helping his body heal. It is taking out any other factor and allowing a full body rest so he can get better." She explained to her son who was trying to put on a content face, though she could see tears glistening in his eyes.
"He's gonna be ok" Lena said as he pulled her into him and let the tears flow. He felt like a baby, but he couldn't believe what his family was going through. Not another hospital stay. Not another person hanging on for their life. He couldn't understand why bad things continued to happen to the family who didn't deserve it.
"Lena!" Stef called from upstairs.
The brunette squeezed her son once more before trying to pull away from him. She heard him sniffling and made eye contact with Mike. Understanding, the man reached over and maneuvered his son towards him so he was no longer holding onto Lena. She kissed him on the temple a few times before making her way towards her wife's voice.
When she made it to the last step and began to walk towards her bedroom, which she figured would be where her wife and daughter were, she passed by the girls' room. Peaking in slightly, she saw Callie and Jude wrapped up in each other's arms, Jude was sleeping. She was sure that the teen had woken up at the smallest of sounds made, but she was glad one of her children was getting some sort of sleep. Lena took a moment to step into the room with a small smile and walk over to her daughter and sleeping son.
"How long has he been out?" She whispered as she pulled the blanket up over the two of them.
Callie shrugged. "Few hours."
"Have you slept at all?" She asked, raising her eyebrow at the girl.
"Little" was all she responded with. "I think Stef needs you." She added, in order to move the focus from herself.
Lena chuckled ever so slightly at her daughter's distraction 'technique' and nodded her head.
"Ok. But we're not done with this conversation." She said as she leaned down to kiss both children on the temple. "I love you, bug." She said before leaving the room, closing the door slightly behind her for some quiet. She hoped that maybe the teen would fall back asleep, though deep down, she knew the girl had trained herself to stay awake for long periods of time and that sleep was probably out of the question for her at the moment.
Lena walked into her room and heard whimpering. She looked around and when she couldn't see the two in the bedroom, she made her way to the bathroom.
Stef was sitting on the floor with Mariana in her arms, half undressed, with large tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Hey, sweetheart." Lena said gently as she dropped down to her knees and made her way to her wife and daughter. "What's going on?" She asked as she looked first at her daughter and then to her wife who looked like she was a few steps away from losing it too.
"She won't let go of me." Stef explained as she rubbed soothing circles on her daughter's back.
Lena smiled at the girl. "Don't you want to take a nice hot shower?" She asked as she brushed some of the tears away from the girl's cheeks.
Mariana shook her head and pressed her face into her mom's shirt, though she grabbed Lena's hand and squeezed it as tight as the pain would allow her.
Lena looked at Stef and shrugged her shoulders. "Let's not push it. At least we can get her to sleep some more."
Stef nodded in agreement and patted her daughter gently on the back. "Ok, sweets. I'm gonna stand up. We're gonna put you in our bed, ok?" She asked, hoping to get something verbal from the girl.
Sighing, she began to stand, and with Lena supporting her, she made it to her feet, Mariana still clinging to her as if for dear life. The mothers shot each other concerned glances. They knew that she was scared and maybe even traumatized, but they hadn't seen this version of their daughter in years. It was strange to see her in such a vulnerable state.
Stef made her way to the bed and gently laid the teen down. As she stood back up, Mariana's hand grasped onto a piece of her shirt and more tears fell.
"Mariana, love. I need you to let go of me. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." Stef said with a tilt of her head so she could make eye contact with the girl.
Her lip began to quiver, but she reluctantly loosened her grip.
Stef smiled slightly. "See. I'm not going anywhere, baby girl." She said as she tucked her daughter in under the sheets.
Lena, who had been standing behind the two watching, cleared her throat slightly. She needed to discuss some things with her wife and at that moment, it needed to be sooner rather than later.
Stef looked over her shoulder and nodded as she understood. Then she looked back down at the girl who was fighting to keep her eyes open.
"My love." She began with a smile. "Mama and I are going to talk right in the bathroom, ok?" She began. As soon as she said the word bathroom, the girl reached up and tried to grab ahold of the blonde's shirt. However, Stef caught her hand before she could make a fist and brought the girl's fingers to her lips. She kissed them ever so gently. "We are not leaving. We will keep the door open, but we need to talk and you need to go to sleep." She continued. "Don't fight the sleep. Those medications the doctor prescribed will make you tired. Your body needs rest."
Mariana couldn't stop the tears from falling, but she nodded. She understood that her mothers needed to talk and were probably sick of her wanting to be around them, but she just didn't want them out of her sight. Because if she couldn't see them, they could be gone forever, just like Ana.
Stef smiled at her daughter's cooperation and bent down to kiss the girl goodnight. "We'll be right over here if you need anything." She assured the girl as Lena too kissed her daughter and poked her nose slightly.
"Love you"
Mariana forced out the smallest smile possible, but the mothers took it as a start and returned it with big ones of their own.
Finally, Lena grabbed ahold of her wife's arm and led her over to the bathroom where they could talk in somewhat privacy.
They held each other in a much needed embrace before beginning their conversation.
"So we need to contact their therapist, and she's gonna have to go see her and the regular doctor a few times a week." Stef began, but stopped when she saw new tears forming in Lena's eyes. "What?"
Lena tried to hold herself together as she told Stef the news about the twins' baby sister. Stef's eyes widened. She looked out and over to her daughter whose eyes were closed. How were they going to tell her that she had lost both her birth mother and her birth sister when she was barely holding on with the news she already had? Their heart ached for their children as they began to mentally prepare themselves for the hours of sleepless nights, nightmares, tears, anger, and confusion that their family was about to go through.
It wasn't fair.
It just wasn't fair.