DISCLAIMER:: do not own unfortunately. just borrowing. no profit obtained
A/N:: just got back from a trip and now that my laptop is up and running, i can post this. if you also read my other SwanQueen stories, Never Gonna Be Alone and Fragmented both should have an update posted by Saturday evening, as well as the first chapter for the sequel of actions have consequences. that being said, enjoy and review. i will try to keep updates coming but it always helps when you guys feed the muse. much love to all who read. enjoy.
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-Chapter 9: Only Veiled by a Thin Disguise -
Emma shot up in bed, her hand clutching the spot where her dagger wound should be, but her fingers just tangled in the undamaged fabric of her wife beater. For today, she was safe. She got out of bed and trudged to the upstairs bathroom. She pulled off her clothes and left them in a pool on the floor, mentally reminding herself to pick them up before Mary got a chance to see and therefore freak out over the mess.
She stepped under the spray and sighed as it hit her muscles and knots immediately began to loosen in her stiff shoulders. Slowly, she braced her arms against the tile wall of the shower and let the spray from the nozzle cascade over her head, sputtering every few moments when the water running down her face snaked its way into her mouth. Here, without Regina's worried but watchful eyes and the haziness the wound had created in her head, she finally let the events that happened in Tarry sink in.
It was hardly the first time she'd killed and it was far from likely that it'd be the last. She had not lied when she'd told Regina she'd ruined and taken lives. It was the way of the monarch, your hands were never truly clean. But even before that, she'd been excessively trained in the arts of hunting and tracking at her father's behest. She would need it one day, he'd said. Little did he know how right he'd been. The pressure to keep moving would be on them more than ever. Emma knew Hadrian. If he caught wind of all that had happened, Regina would be made to shoulder all the blame. She wouldn't make it a few days before they'd execute her.
She shuddered violently despite the warmth of the water. The mere thought of what Hadrian would do to Regina if he found out about any of what had transpired, in past or present, made her stomach turn. Her husband was not a cruel man by any means, but he was a King in every way. He could not let her infidelity go unpunished, nor could he stand idle in the slew of Regina's past crimes. And yet, she couldn't bear the thought of losing Regina either, of sending her on her way to live her life in peace, and then returning to her husband's side as she had so many times before. Her world now revolved around the brunette with the guarded eyes and she couldn't just walk away from that.
"Emma?" A knock sounded on the door. "Are you okay? You've been in there a while."
Emma shook the thoughts from her head at the sound of Mary Margaret's voice. She hadn't noticed the water had gone cold, numbing her skin. She'd been so far in her thoughts that the sudden drop in temperature hadn't even registered. "I'll be out in a minute!" She switched the water off and grabbed for a towel, wrapping it around her body. She stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, amazed that she looked fine if only slightly withdrawn.
She pulled open the bathroom door with a sigh and jumped back, almost losing her towel, when she came face to face with Mary Margaret. She pulled the towel tightly around herself.
"Are you okay?"
Emma, regaining her composure, pushed past the shorter woman and out into the hall, making a beeline for her room. "I'm fine. Just got lost in my thoughts for a moment." To her slight annoyance, Mary followed after her.
"You were whimpering in your sleep for a good part of the night. It sounded as if… almost as if you were in pain."
Emma managed a chuckle, but it faltered slightly. "Nope, just a bad dream."
Mary followed her into the small spare bedroom that was now her space in this small town. "Are you sure? Because you also, you, um…"
Emma turned to look at her, her eyes wide, urging Mary to just spit it out already.
Mary's nose scrunched up, an obvious indication of her discomfort. "You… um, were calling out Regina's name… quite a bit actually. It didn't seem… I mean… it wasn't like, in ecstasy or anything… it was more…" Mary's cheeks burned a deep scarlet. She bit her bottom lip. "It was desperate."
Emma's back tensed involuntarily, giving her away.
Mary looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry. The walls are thin, and I couldn't help overhearing. Were you having a nightmare? About the mayor?"
Emma sighed. She didn't want to lie to Mary Margaret. This woman was her mother, well, the half of her soul that had survived at least. But on her birthday, she'd make her choice, and one world would be lost forever. If she chose the Enchanted Forest and Storybrooke was lost, it wouldn't matter if she'd confessed everything to Mary, because Mary would cease to exist. She'd be demolishing the only part of Snow White that remained. The thought made her sick to her stomach. But if she chose Storybrooke and let the Enchanted Forest go to ruin, there'd be no point in telling Mary because it wouldn't exist anymore. No, it was too crazy. Mary would kick her out, or have her committed. "I, uh, remember when I told you I loved the mayor before she came to Storybrooke?"
Mary nodded.
"Well, I was dreaming about that time."
"Oh." Mary nodded, then blushed. "I should let you get dressed. I have to get to work anyway." She turned from the door.
"Hey Mary?" Emma walked to the door and leaned out into the hall.
Mary Margaret stopped at the top of the stairs and looked back at her.
"Thanks, for being concerned. It's nice to have someone who cares."
Mary smiled. "Of course, we're friends."
Emma smiled at the words. Friends were not a luxury she afforded herself, in either world really. It felt nice.
"Emma… you should tell her you know?"
Emma didn't have to ask which her Mary Margaret was referring to, it was obvious. "Tell her what?"
Mary Margaret gave her an intense look. "That you're still in love with her." She set off downstairs, leaving Emma gaping after her.
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"Rough night, Deputy?" Graham grinned at her as she literally plopped down into her seat and let her head fall with a thud onto her desk.
She lifted her head a little so she could appropriately glare at him. "Don't ask."
"Here." He got up from his desk, grabbing something off it as he did. He brought it over and placed it in front of her. "You look like you need this a lot more than I do."
Emma stared down at the bear claw. "I'm not hungry." Her stomach chose that moment to growl and betray her. She glared down at her abdomen before grabbing the bear claw off the napkin and taking a bite. "Thanks."
Graham nodded. "Listen… can you come in early tomorrow?"
Emma sighed. So the bear claw had been meant for her all along, as a bribe. She tossed the offending breakfast pastry back on its napkin as if the very sight of it now disgusted her.
"So you can drop into the bed and breakfast and fuck the mayor?" Her tone came out exceedingly more hostile than she'd intended.
Graham took a step back in shock and then held his hands up in surrender.
She shook her head at him. "I don't see how you can hate her so much and still do what she demands. Do you love her?" The thought of him responding in the affirmative made her stomach roil violently. She hadn't anticipated having to get through the obstacle of a romantic attachment.
Graham shook his head. "No, I don't. She's cold, mean, and cruel. She takes everything, sucks you dry until there's nothing left, and then tosses you out with the trash." He sighed, looking defeated. "I don't know why I go. I tell myself every week that I'll stop. I say I won't show up. And then, somehow, I'm always there, every Saturday."
Emma offered him a small knowing smile. "She's hard to say no to."
He frowned at her. "You don't seem to have a problem."
Emma bit her lip. "Yea well, I'm not from around here. She just hasn't had the same amount of time to beat me into submission." She knew it had nothing to do with the time she'd spent in Storybrooke, but she still said it to make him feel better.
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"Hey kid." Emma looked around behind Henry as he opened the door, searching for the mayor in the foyer of the mini-mansion.
"Emma!" He beamed up at her, obviously happy to see her.
She grinned down at him. He had so much life in him, so much exuberance. It was a luxury she'd never been allowed, an innocence that her condition had not afforded her. "Is your mom around?"
He shook his head. "She had a few late appointments; she almost always does on Friday nights."
Emma tensed, her mind automatically flashing to the idea that Regina might have a weekly secret rendezvous schedule, that Graham might not be her only lover, but she quickly forced the jealous reaction back down. Mary would have likely said something about there being others when she mentioned the 'meetings' with Graham, and even if she hadn't been so inclined, Emma just couldn't picture Regina as being the type to sleep around. No, she was too methodical. She'd pick one lover and do as Graham said, suck them dry until she had used up all they could give, and that's when she'd move on to greener pastures. "Good, that'll give us some time to discuss the book."
His eyes sparkled and he held the door wide open, wildly ushering her in. He closed the door behind her and grabbed her hand, urging her upstairs and towards his bedroom. He flopped down on his bed and pulled the book in question from his backpack. "I've been rereading some parts to help us prepare for Operation Cobra."
Emma raised an eyebrow. "Operation Cobra kid?" She gave him an amused smile. His enthusiasm was rather infectious. She stepped farther into the room from the place by the door.
He nodded, beaming proudly as if he had just won the Olympic gold in subterfuge. "When we're discussing breaking the curse, I thought we should have a code name. It has to be something that has nothing to do with anything in the book, hence Operation Cobra. It has to stay a secret until we figure out how you're supposed to defeat my mom."
Emma flinched, crossing her arms across her chest. "Listen, Henry…"
His small face fell. "Don't tell me you stopped believing!"
Emma shook her head quickly to reassure him. "No, I promise I haven't stopped believing. I know, I believe, that part of your book is true. But I just don't know if there's meant to be some final battle between your mom and I. I'm really trying to find some common ground with her."
But it didn't reassure him. He stared at her, the hurt evident on his little face as he glared at her. "You're the White Knight Emma; you're the saviour of all fairytale kind. You can't side with the Evil Queen! You can't betray everyone like that!" She saw anger flash briefly through his gaze, the product of an innocence that prevented him from seeing beyond the black and white of the situation. There was right and there was wrong, and right now, in his eyes, she was toeing the line.
Emma came over and sat on a corner of the bed. "Listen kid, I want to save the people in this town just as much as you do." Maybe even more so, whispered a voice in the back of her head. Henry knew nothing of Fairytale Land, short of what was in his book. But she did. She knew what she was giving up if she didn't choose to go back to the Enchanted Forest after her birthday. The only way she could think of to have both worlds was to break the curse and repair the split souls of everyone she held dear. "But, I won't hurt your mom to do it."
"But she's the Evil Queen Emma! She cursed everyone!"
According to the book, that was what had happened. The Evil Queen, hell bent on her quest for revenge against the last of the people who'd betrayed her, had killed her father to enact a curse, one that would steal the happy endings from everyone in the Enchanted Forest. It was quite a brilliant little back story that the prophecy had planted into their heads. It explained everything so perfectly; it even had a rather convincing explanation as to why she hadn't been cursed to live her existence in Storybrooke along with all the others. But she knew that there was no curse, just magic from an age old prophecy that held them there, unable to ever have their happy endings because they'd never truly be complete without the missing half of their souls. "Even if she did Henry, and I'm not quite sure of that, she's not my enemy. She may have a lot to answer for, but…"
"Did she cast a spell on you?" Henry crawled closer and peered into her eyes suspiciously. "She did, didn't she?" He sat back on his legs, looking at her with thoughtful innocence. "It's okay Emma. We'll break the spell you're under, then you can defeat the Evil Queen and save Storybrooke!"
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Emma was sitting sideways on the top step of the staircase, her back against the wall and her legs stretched out across the step, her boots just barely grazing the railing on the other side. She'd put Henry to sleep almost an hour ago now and she could hear the cute little snores that came softly floating down the hall from his room. Tonight had been her first real experience as a mother, her first taste of what life might actually have been like had she been able to keep her son.
The babysitter had shown up at just after six, claiming Regina's secretary had called and made the arrangements for her to come over, that the mayor was working late. Emma had ushered her away with a ten note pressed into her palm for the inconvenience, explaining that she had things under control. She'd made dinner in the mayor's large and well stocked kitchen while Henry did his homework at the counter, occasionally asking her for help with the things he found confusing. After they'd enjoyed a nice meal, they'd done the dishes together. Emma knew Regina would blow her lid if they left anything in disarray, after she blew her lid over the fact that Emma was in her home without her permission of course. This house looked like a model home for Good Housekeeping or something. It looked as if it had been furnished and made gorgeous by some interior designer solely for the means of looking pretty. It certainly didn't look like a woman and her ten year old son lived here.
After dinner, they'd watched a few shows on the, obviously rarely used, television in the living room before Emma had ushered Henry into a shower. After he'd changed into his pajamas, she'd put him to bed.
Without Henry to distract her, and Regina still not home, she'd grown increasingly fidgety. She had called city hall while she was cooking dinner, to give Regina fair warning of her presence in the house, but the mayor's secretary had sung quite a different song than the one she'd told the babysitter. Apparently Regina had left the office promptly at five with orders for the secretary to call her usual babysitter and send her over to the house. The young secretary had no idea where Regina was. With Henry safely tucked it, she began calling around, finding a phonebook in a drawer on the small table where the main phone rested. She tried Granny's first, then the station and just continued going through every establishment she could think of that might hold interest for the mayor. She got nothing. Either the mayor really wasn't anywhere to be found or someone at one of these places was covering for her. Either way, with each passing minute, Emma's anxiety grew just a little more.
It was 11:52 when the key finally sounded in the lock. The door opened quietly and Regina crept in. She closed the door slowly, obviously anticipating Henry being asleep. She set her keys and purse down on the small side table in the foyer and crept towards the stairs. She froze dead in her tracks when she saw Emma sitting on the top step.
Regina's eyes fell closed briefly as she was assaulted by a memory, no, not a memory, a vision, of that very same blonde standing at the top of these very stairs, smiling down at her. She was clad only in little shorts and her usual wife beater, her hair mussed from sleep. Her eyes seemed to light up, as if seeing Regina made her inexplicably happy. She shook her head slightly and the image dissipated, replaced by the very real sight of Emma standing up from her seat on the top step, looking awkward but not uncomfortable.
"What are you doing here Miss Swan?" Regina's tone was furious, but it was a quiet whisper, not wanting to disturb Henry.
Emma came down the stairs, a look of something akin to frustration on her features. She grabbed Regina's arm without a word and pulled the brunette across the foyer and into Regina's parlour. The second she'd closed the door softly, she whirled on Regina. "Where were you?"
"That's none of your business Miss Swan." Oh, the nerve of this woman! How dare she interrogate her when she was the one trespassing in her home and her life? "My plans are hardly your concern. Now, I'll ask again, what are you doing here?" She crossed her arms across her chest.
Emma glared at her. "I came by to see you and found Henry, alone. Then some half-wit teenager shows up on the doorstep like I'm just supposed to take her word for it and let her in? It's midnight Regina! I know you weren't at work; I called your office."
The anger coursing through Regina's veins halted momentarily. "You called my office?"
Emma didn't notice the slight perplexed tone that had entered the mayor's voice. "Of course I did. Then I found the phone book and started calling around town. I was worried!"
Regina felt it then… Emma's first successful dig at her armour. She felt the chip as if she were actually wearing chain mail and could run her fingers over the break. This couldn't be happening! She couldn't let this happen. She refused to let this happen. So this woman had a superior skill at appearing to be deceptively genuine. That was the way of it; it had to be. No one had truly cared for her since… Daniela. "As touching as all this is, Miss Swan, I'm a grown woman; I have no curfew."
Emma frowned, taking a step towards Regina. "But you do have a son, we have a son, and…"
"There is no 'we' here Miss Swan." Regina felt empowered now that she finally had a sturdy platform from which to launch her attack. "Not when it comes to Henry. Henry is my son, not yours. You gave up that right long ago."
Emma flinched but didn't back down. "I care about him, regardless of your need to claim him as your property, I do. You can't change that. His well being is important to me."
"Henry is fine." The venom in her tone drove her forward a couple steps.
"Is he?" Emma sighed. She didn't balk at the poison in the brunette's gaze. She couldn't claim that she loved the good half of Regina's soul unconditionally if she wasn't willing to embrace the dark half challenging her now. "He knows who you really are. He sees past the mask. But he only sees the dark. It affects him."
Regina bristled. "He'll grow out of it; it's a phase, nothing more."
Emma shook her head. "Except, in this case, it's the truth. You and I both know that I know who you are, so let's drop the pretenses, shall we?"
Regina tensed for a moment before something changed in her gaze. Her back straightened and she raised herself up to her full height, in an instant becoming more distinguished and deadly.
The corner of Emma's mouth turned up in a smile. "Finally, I get to see first hand the woman that struck fear into the hearts of all the residents of the Enchanted Forest." She inclined her head slightly. "Majesty."
"Who are you?"
Emma shook her head. "You wouldn't know me even if I told you. Like yourself, I retained my name from the old world. I am Emma, here as I am there. But that means nothing to you; it's pointless to try and remember someone who you've never met."
"And yet, you claim to know so much of me." Regina eyed her warily, but there was no more anger, no more hostility, just a mixture of suspicion and curiosity.
Emma nodded. "Sometimes, I feel as if I know you more than I know myself. But even my knowledge is meager at best. I know what you've survived, but not how you survived it. I know your deeds, but not what you must have been feeling. I know you live in the darkness, but not what it feels like to be there."
Regina felt it again… yet another chip in the armour. Emma Swan, it seemed, might very well be her undoing. The knowledge in the blonde woman's eyes was piercing. Those green irises didn't look at her with accusations or judgment. Instead the blonde stared at her with a hunger for understanding. But Regina couldn't, not now, maybe not ever, feed the beast.
"I don't know what game you're playing Miss Swan, but you are severely overestimating your hand. Leave now, before I'm forced to contact your boss, resulting in your arrest as well as the loss of your job. Trespassing is against the law." And, just like that, the Evil Queen disappeared behind the mask of Storybrooke's mayor.
Emma's smile, slow and easy, came up once more. Regina would never admit it, even to herself, but Emma knew the brunette had lost that round. Emma would take her victory, another battle won in what promised to be a long and gruesome war. "Goodnight Madam Mayor." She turned and left the house without a glance back.
The second she'd closed the front door behind herself she dug in her pocket for her cell phone and pulled it out. Hitting speed dial 3 and putting the phone to her ear. It rang six times. "Come on, pick up, pick up."
"'Ello?" The groggy voice mumbled into the phone.
"Hey, it's Emma, I need a favour."