( * * )
Ruby wasn't sure what she was expecting when she, her teammates, and Mercury and Emerald entered Professor Ozpin's office.
Actually, that wasn't true. She was expecting Ozpin to be sitting at his desk, leaning forward with his chin resting on interlocked fingers.
And seeing Professor Goodwitch standing off to the side with a scowl on her face, arms crossed, and riding crop in her hand wasn't really surprising.
No, what really floored her – and her friends – was the presence of the third professor in the room: a tall man with dirty black hair and a dark red cape draped around his shoulders.
"Uncle Qrow?" Both Yang and Ruby blurted out, their eyes practically bulging.
"Oh, joy," Mercury muttered, "This is gonna be fun."
Ruby's already twisted guts twisted even more. Being called into the Headmaster's office was worrying enough, but her Uncle being there seemed much more ominous.
The look he was giving them didn't help in the slightest.
"Miss Rose," Ozpin's voice caught her attention, "I hope you, your team, and your wards are doing well."
"Uh, y-yeah," Ruby fought hard to keep her heart from pounding out of her chest. "Kinda confused, but we're doing fine."
"That's good, though I suppose you wish to know why you all have been called here."
"Actually we figured you were just lonely and desperate for some company" Mercury said.
"You can shut yer' mouth, Pretty Boy." Qrow snarled.
Yang snickered at the nickname. Mercury just shrugged. "Well, I have been told I'm quite handsome."
"Okay, seriously Merc," Emerald said, "Not really the time to be smart."
"Should listen to your girlfriend, convict." Qrow said, "Don't wanna be in more trouble than you're in."
"Qrow," Ozpin said, a warning tone in his voice. Qrow gave him a quick glance before relaxing and crossing his arms.
Professor Goodwitch pointedly cleared her throat. "The reason we called you here," She said in her authoritative tone, "Is because we have heard rumors that there has been… inappropriate behavior among the six of you, as of late."
Ruby's breath hitched, and she fought the urge to look at Emerald.
"What do you mean by 'inappropriate behavior', Professor?" Weiss asked.
"There have been… 'reports'," Ozpin began, "Of a member of Team RWBY and your charges spending more time together."
Yang raised a finger, "Uh…"
"We know you're still Sustrai and Black's babysitters, Yang." Qrow said, sending Ozpin a dirty look.
"The problem," Goodwitch said, "Is that these reports suggest this goes beyond what is appropriate – as both students and legal guardians."
Ruby felt her heart rate rise as she exchanged glances with the others.
"Could you elaborate?" Blake asked.
"Well kitten," Everyone in the room scowled at Qrow, "People're sayin' that two of you have been 'hanging out' together more than the others, that they're more 'touchy feely', that they up and disappear after school and on weekends, and that they're more 'playful'," Qrow made a disgusted expression, "Whenever they're together."
Ruby's mind raced. Someone's watching us? Who? Who'd want to spy on us? Besides Weiss's dad? Wait, maybe he hired someone to spy on us! Maybe it's a student! Or the janitor! Maybe even a teacher! Oh God, it could be…
"Ahem," Ruby was taken out of her thoughts at Emerald's voice. "Is there any, I don't know, evidence supporting all this?"
Before Professor Goodwitch or Ozpin could answer, Qrow strode forward. "Oh don't play dumb, sweet cheeks."
"Qrow," Ozpin said. The Hunstman didn't listen.
"We know what's going on – what's been going on."
"Qrow," Goodwitch warned.
"You thought you could hide this, but I've been watching you from the beginning."
"Uncle Qrow, wait!" Ruby quickly stood between Emerald and her Uncle.
"Don't try to defend him Ruby! I'm not letting this Pretty Boy creep put his hands on your sister."
"But Uncle Qrow that's what." Ruby finished flatly.
Qrow straightened up, crossing his arms. "You heard me, Ruby. I don't know what the hell Yang's thinking, but the fun with 'Mister Black' ends today." He gave his blonde niece his 'strict Uncle look'.
A silence hung in the air.
"Wait," Yang said, "You think that Mercury and I are…"
Qrow looked at the shocked, flabbergasted expressions from the six students, and his hard expression wavered. "… Yes?"
Team RWBY(em) stared at the Huntsman for a few more seconds before breaking into hysterical laughter.
/
Team RWBY's dorm room echoed with laughter, this time joined by that of Team JNPR.
"He seriously thought Yang and Mercury were dating?" Nora asked incredulously.
"I know, right?" Yang said from her bed, "I mean, Merc and I hang out, but not like that. I mean blech."
"Gee, thanks Blondie."
"Don't mention it."
"Seriously though, you should've seen their faces," Emerald said, sitting next to Ruby on her bunk. "'Specially Qrow's. Wish I took a picture."
"I don't think Uncle Qrow blushed that bad since that one get-together at Signal." Ruby giggled. "It took a week for him to get over that."
"Was it me, or did Goodwitch look smug?" Blake wondered aloud.
"Well, it's fortunate that Qrow's accusation was baseless." Pyrrha said.
"Y-yeah. Lucky" Ruby let out a shaky breath.
Ruby felt a hand take hers. "Hey," Emerald gently nudged her with a shoulder, "Everything's gonna be okay. This is actually a good thing for us."
"She's right," Mercury said, "Since the old man didn't have anything backing up what he said – and he was wrong – no one's gonna listen to him cry 'wolf' next time." He shrugged. "Least not right away."
"And this shows no one actually knows anything," Emerald said, giving Ruby a smile. "Remember what you told me about your family? To trust you? Well, trust me on this. We're fine."
Ruby looked at her girlfriend and smiled, resting her head on Emerald's shoulder. "Okay. Was still scared though."
Emerald began petting Ruby, smoothing out her hair. "Yeah, I was too, Red."
"It did get a little intense towards the end." Yang said. She then smirked. "Kind of reminded me of what happened with Carmine."
Ruby snorted. "Oh my God, I forgot about that."
"Carmine?" Blake asked.
"Ruby's 'boyfriend'. Or at least that's what Uncle Qrow thought." Yang said.
"Boyfriend?" Emerald asked giving Ruby a questioning look.
"I was eight and we were just playing pretend. 'Course Uncle Qrow didn't know that."
"It does not surprise me your insane Uncle has done something like this before." Weiss said. "Not in the least."
"Well? What happened?" Jaune asked.
Soon the dorm room was again filled with laughter at the expense of an overprotective uncle.
( * * )
Yeah, that ending's kinda meh, but at least it isn't meh.
Interesting tidbit: this is actually a rewritten version of an unfinished oneshot that's been on my computer for nearly a month. Now that Qrow's been introduced, and the subject of introducing Emerald to the fam damily was, er, introduced in 'Fam Damily', I got inspiration and you get this chapter. So, yay!
Not sure how well I wrote Qrow, but I think I'm close.
And now, an extra that may or may not be canon (to the fic):
Ozpin watched as the elevator doors closed, Qrow returning Ruby's small wave with his own. When the whirr of the elevator could be heard, the Huntsman pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a sigh.
He didn't see Glynda walk up to him until she cleared her throat.
Ozpin watched as Qrow gave the Professor a glare, and smiled when he reached into a pocket and took out a twenty lien bill.
"Thank you, Mister Branwen." Glynda said as she took the bill. Ozpin was surprised she only had a smirk on her face.
"Yeah, yeah, rub it in Goodwitch." Qrow said. "But mark my words, something's goin' on."
"And when you actually have definitive proof, I assure you we will handle it." Glynda said, pocketing the bill.
"Now, is there anything else we should discuss Qrow?" Ozpin asked.
The Huntsman shook his head, making his way to the elevator. "Nah. Still gonna check in every now and then. I can tell something's up, and when I find what it is, heads'll roll."
"I'll make sure to warn the cleaning staff." Ozpin said. He waited until Qrow was gone before turning to Glynda. "And what about your hypothesis? How certain are you on its validity?"
Goodwitch shook her head. "Besides teacher's intuition, I don't have any actual evidence."
"But if it turns out to be true?"
He watched as she thought about it. "Perhaps an… 'in-house' investigation, to determine the possible detriments and benefits such a situation could bring."
"Well, all right then." Ozpin grinned, and took a sip of his coffee.