A/N: finally another chapter :D sorry for taking so long :)
Actually the chapter has been written long time ago, but my computer has been acting up, and i only got my new baby today, and i can finally upload again :D

This was actually supposed to be a happy go lucky chapter, but somehow it turned out to be deep and personal again :/
BTW, please send me suggestions if you'd like :)

"Grayson. When you said we'd spent the day together, since you are in Gotham today, I didn't expect something like this!"

Dick, Tim and Damian had decided to spend the day, well, Dick had, and dragged them along.
And after going shopping and hanging out in Central Gotham, they were fairly hungry, so Dick had dragged the too into a McDonalds…
Tim, who didn't seem to mind, stood in line to order their food, while Dick and Damian waited at their table.

Annoyed, Damian tugged at his expensive Boss T-shirt and played with his watch, not liking the looks the other costumers kept shooting him.

Noticing Damian's uneasiness, Dick chuckled and plucked his shades out of his hair, just to put them on Damian who was now resting his head on his hand.
Damian didn't react and simply let Dick mess with his hair, and Dick had to admit, Damian looked extremely handsome and cool like this.

"See, now you are incognito."

Not amused, Damian took the glasses off and threw them into Dick's face.
But instead of hitting his face, they were caught quickly by Dick.

"Are you retarded?" he asked, sighing annoyed.

"Aw come on. By the way, I think you are the only kid that doesn't like McDonalds."

Damian frowned.

"I don't think that every other kid gets stared at like this."

Confused, Dick looked around.

"Oh, don't worry, they stare at me" he said, winking.

Damian faked a laugh and frowned instantly again.

Leaning forward a bit, he whispered to Dick.

"Seriously, these guys creep me out. Can't we eat somewhere else?"

And here he was again, Dick thought, the adorable little Damian.
Whenever they were in public like this, Damian felt uneasy among people, and that was exactly the reason why Dick dragged his little brother around.
He had to get over that socially awkward behaviour and learn how to deal with daily situations.

"Damian, you are a celebrity. I mean you are Bruce Wayne's son that just appeared out of nowhere.
And in case you didn't know, Bruce is doing all he can to keep you out of the spotlight."

Damian leaned back, crossed his arms and huffed, looking away.

"Yeah, he's too embarrassed for his dysfunctional son…"

"That's not it at all, Dami. Bruce wants you to be safe. Imagine if he hadn't taken any measures, you'd be pestered all day.
The guys would stalk you and hunt you down to find out anything about you and then they'd drag you through the mud.
Bruce doesn't want that for you.
He didn't for any of us.
But you are his biological son, so they are even keener on getting to you."

Almost unnoticeable, Damian smiled, just when Tim came back, carrying two trays full of wrapped up food.

"Food, boys" he said cheerful.

Dick scooted over and Tim sat down, handing Dick his burger and fries, while Damian stared at his tray in disbelief.

"What is this?" he asked, tugging at the colourful cardboard thingy on his table.

Dick looked up, his mouth still full with fries.

"A happy meal" Tim said, looking at Dick, a bit unsure "Dick told me you want one."

When Damian gripped the table and shot Dick a deadly glare, Dick burst into laughter and almost choked on his fries.
Trying to prevent his brother from choking, Tim slapped Dick's back.

"I cannot eat this!" Damian hissed, looking at the contents of the box, picking out a toy, wrapped in plastic.

"Is that a" he looked at the wrapping "Barbie?"

Dick, still fighting to choke, cried out and slammed his head on the table,
shaking and laughing and coughing while Tim both, gently rubbed Dick's back and tried to hold down the fuming Damian.

"Guys" he hissed "calm down" but even he had to fight back a chuckle, seeing Damian getting this upset.

After a while, Dick's throat was finally free and he sighed, sitting up again, still shaking a bit.

"Sorry Dami" cough "But that was hilarious."

"There is nothing funny about it!" Damian said, upset and frowning.

Tim settled back as well and started to eat his chicken nuggets.

"I am sorry Damian, but at least eat the something."

Violently, Damian shoved the tray away.

"I am not hungry anymore."

He looked around and saw the people still staring at him, and shame crept up his neck and he blushed.

"In fact I'm leaving" he said, not waiting for a reaction and slid out of the bench, heading towards the exit quickly.

"Dami!" Dick called after him, and gave Tim an urging push, gesturing him to let him out.

He hurried after Damian, leaving a confused Tim behind.
Uncomfortable, Tim sipped at his coke, feeling the eyes of the crowd resting on him and he blushed slightly.
Just to keep his fingers occupied, he pulled out his phone and started scrolling through Facebook, inwardly cursing at the others and these stupid gazers…

Damian walked over down the avenue, feeling again, all eyes on him. some people were even bold enough to point at him, and he heard their voice loud and clear.

"Hey, isn't that…"

"Wayne's son…"

"His mother's still unknown…"

"Maybe she was just another toy…"

Damian clenched his eyes shut and hurried on, trying to ignore them, when suddenly, he heard tires screeching and an arm around his waist pulled him back.
Gasping, Damian snapped his eyes open and turned around to meet Dick's eyes, full of horror.

"Dami…"

Dick gently dragged Damian off to the side, shielding Damian from the crowd that had gathered rather quickly.

"Grayson I'm fine, I – "

" – no you are not" Dick interrupted.

"You almost got hit by a car! What were you thinking?"

"I… I just got upset" Damian said, low enough for only Dick to hear, and glared at the bystanders.

"Upset? Well about a stupid joke and a toy?"

Dick sighed and looked around.

"We are going home"

Before Damian could protest, Dick cut him off.

"Now."

Bach at the mansion, Dick dragged Damian into the living room and sat him down on the couch, while he kept standing.

"Guys"

They both snapped their heads to the side, seeing Tim in the doorway.

"I'm going downstairs, so if you need any…" he looked at them, both were upset and agitated, they had been the whole drive home.

"Never mind, I'm gone."

Dick looked back at Damian and met his glare.

"What do you want?" Damian asked, arms crossed and looking stubborn.

"We need to talk about your behaviour back there."

Damian stood up and held out his hands.

"What did I do wrong? I was angry. Instead of punching you in the face, or slaughtering those fucking vultures, I walked it off!"

"You almost got hit by a car." Dick answered, trying to keep his voice down.

"So what? We risk our lives all the time! Why are you so upset about it!"

"First of all, it always scares the shit out of me, whenever I see you in danger, so don't tell me to be calm about it!" Dick yelled, silencing Damian immediately.

Embarrassed, Damian looked down at his feet, clenching his fists.

"And second… I am not upset, I am…" he sat down on the coffee table and sighed "I think I am frustrated…"

Oh, damn he thought instantly, wrong choice of words.

He saw it in Damian's eyes, the boy had shut down.
Still standing, Damian had distanced himself, probably thinking that Dick wanted to abandon him, tired of trying to make him a better "human".
But that was not it… at least not this way.
It was true, Dick was tired of always keeping an eye on Damian and being so careful around the boy, but it was not because Damian's strange ways annoyed him.
But the fact that Damian was only able to live a half life made him sad.
Damian would always be batman's son, and not Bruce Wayne's. he was great on the battlefield but totally clumsy when it came to anything social.
And for as long as Damian didn't get the hang of that, he would never be able to have a relationship, or simply friends outside of the costumed community.

"Damian, that came out wrong, I'm sorry. I just, I wish that you could ditch being Robin for a moment and be you.
Damian Wayne, the person, not the mask, you know?"

Damian laughed coldly and looked away.

"Well that is not possible I am afraid."

Dick got up again and gently squeezed Damian's shoulder.

"Dami, why would you say that? I know – "

"Because!" Damian yelled and shook off the hand, staring into Dick's eyes.

"Because there is no other me!"

"Dami…"

Damian backed away and held out his hand, showing his palm with its scars and blisters.

"There is no Damian Wayne that puts on a Costume and becomes Robin! There is a killer that puts on the Costume of Damian Wayne!
Because I was born and raised and trained to be a killer! And a killer doesn't need emotions!
Doesn't need to know how to interact with people!
I just need to know how I can either kill a person swiftly and without a trace, or slowly and painful!"

"There is more to you Damian…"

"Is there? Really? Because I know how people look at me!
And after all the changes I have made, all the things I try to learn and live by, they still look at me as if I'd enjoy to kill their children, grinning while I do so!
Do you want to know why I got so upset?
Because I don't know what to do anymore!
I… I want to be good and normal!
Do you think I actually enjoy, existing at the border of humanity? Not understanding half of the emotions people around me experience?
When you guys laugh, I don't get it! When you talk about love, I don't understand it! When you feel sad because of a fallen comrade, I wonder why!"

Dick stared at Damian, not able to come up with something comforting or suitable to say, to calm the boy down.

"Do you want to hear something terrible?" Damian asked, smiling sadly.

"Most of the time, I measure the 'love' I feel for other people, at the amount of negotiation I'd need to kill them…"

Suddenly, the boy's lip started to quiver and Dick saw him holding back tears.

"I don't know why! I can't help it! But I do!
I don't think: 'hey, I like you, so I'll let you in on a secret' and feel all fuzzy about it!
I think ' hey, I think I'd be hard to kill you, but I'd do it anyway!'"

"Would you kill me?" Dick asked, voice calm and face guarded.

Confused, Damian stared at Dick, thinking for a moment.

"No"

"So you like me, according to your logic? Is that the only reason you like me?"

"No, you are nice and… why are you asking me this?" Damian's voice was shaking and desperate.

"Because that means that you don't like me because you couldn't kill me, but because you feel affection, just like any other person on this planet."

"I… no! I don't feel!" he cried out, backing away some more, but Dick followed his steps, pulling Damian into his arms and rested his head on Damian's.

Some months ago, Damian would have tried to strangle him already,
but a lot had happened and over time, Damian had gotten used to being so close to Dick, and simply endured, and maybe even enjoyed it.

"Oh, you do. And I think there's the problem. You feel but you don't know how to handle it…"

"I can handle anything!" Damian protested, sobbing softly into Dick's chest.

"Yeah, of course. Look Damian, I understand that it's hard for you to fit in, and I said some stupid stuff,
but saying that there is no Damian Wayne, only a killer in costume is bullshit.
Let me tell you a story about a guy I know."

Damian mumbled something but Dick ignored it.

"There's this guy, he has lots of friends actually, even a pretty lady, whom I personally think he has a major crush on and a kick ass mentor.
He has some issues, mostly issues when it comes to bonds.
It takes him some time to actually warm up to someone, but when he does, he gets extremely clingy, you know like really clingy.
And there are some people who don't like that, but if you'd push him away, you'd break his heart and he'd get very upset.
Now this guy, he thinks he is pretty much alone with a responsibility, after seeing people die and going through a lot.
So he secludes himself, or tries to, because every time he does, one of his friends or family keeps pulling him back, telling him that he is not alone and that he is very, very loved."

Dick leaned back a bit, looking at the boy in his arms.

"Now do you think that this guy doesn't have feelings? Do you think he is a soulless puppet?"

"No, but even if that's true, you left out the killing part."

"Why?"

Damian sniffed.

"I – "

"- Who said I was talking about you?" Dick asked smiling.

Confused, Damian blinked.

"See, I was talking about me, when I was younger."

"But…"

"We are pretty alike, aside from the upbringing, but everyone goes through phases like that.
You just aren't that experienced in handling such outbursts, but you'll learn, like I have.
All I am saying is, I know a Damian that is funny, loving and very, very insecure sometimes.
He is also protective and grateful as soon as he likes you."

"Who said that I like you?"

"You did." Dick smiled, and frowned instantly again "You do, right?"

Daman blushed and buried his face in Dick's chest, but nodded eventually, making Dick smile.
After ruffling Damian's hair, Dick released him and chuckled.

"But about the girl friend crush…"

He gasped, when Damian punched him in the ribs.

"Shut up."

"Ouch… anyway, Dami, how about we try and go to Burger King tomorrow?
No children menu, I swear" Dick asked, crossing his heart with his finger.

"What for?"

"So I can tell you how to get that crush to date you – UFF!"

Dick buckled over, when Damian punched him in his stomach before stalking off.

"I have no crush."

Wheezing, Dick straightened up and sighed.

"Yeah, not at all."

Up in his room, after a shower, Damian changed into a big and baggy T-shirt and pyjama pants.
He settled on his bed, and tried to fall asleep, but thoughts kept him awake and he somehow couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep.

"Titus" he whispered, waiting for a sign.

Rustling could be heard and soon, the great dane's head appeared next to Damian, resting on the bed. Rolling on his side, Damian petted the dog.

"Titus, do you think I can learn to be normal? You know, maybe go to school and be like father some day, I mean Bruce Wayne?"

The dog grumbled and made a whining noise.

"You don't know?"

Damian sighed.

"I don't know either…"

Frowning he shook his head.

"This is silly, you don't understand me… but still, by Grayson's definition, I think I like you a lot. Do you like me?"

For a moment, Damian and Titus stared into each other's eyes, when Titus leaned up and started licking Damian's face.

"Bwah!"

Disgusted, but gentle, he pushed Titus away, wiping the drool away with his arm.

"Titus, don't do that again!"

The dog yelped and laid his head on the bed again, sitting down.

Smiling, Damian stroked the soft fur of his head.

"So you do like me…"

Immediately, the dog shot up again, but Damian stopped him, holding up a finger.

"Don't, Titus. It's okay, I know."

Panting, it looked almost as if Titus was smiling.

"Good boy" Damian said, before rolling on his back again, and slowly fell asleep.

The next day, Dick had managed to talk Damian into going to a Burger King with him.

They sat in one of the more secluded corners and ate quietly, though Damian still kept glaring at the people who dared to look at him.

Smiling, Dick noticed that Damian had managed to relax a bit, slowly eating his fries and chatting almost normally, about his dog and other stuff.
But after a while, Damian ran out of conversation material and continued to eat in silence, listening to Dick's stories.
It was really comfortable, Damian admitted to himself, sitting there with Grayson, no pressure and only little distraction, when suddenly music started to blast out of the speakers.

Startled and instantly alarmed, Damian jumped to his feet, but Dick held him down with one arm, pressing him back onto the bench.

"Dami, calm down."

Children and adults started joining the song, gathering around one table where an employee was about to set down a plate with a special menu.

"What's going on?" Damian asked, leaning sideways, to see the whole spectacle.

Dick chuckled and took a sip from his large cup filled with water.

"It's a birthday party."

Only hesitantly, Damian sat back, eyes still focused in that direction, before looking at Dick with a confused expression on his face.

"Birthday?"

At first, Dick thought that Damian was joking, and chuckled, but when the expression didn't change, he set down the cup.

"Wait, you don't know what a birthday is?" he asked, completely baffled.

"Of course I do. It's the day you were born, but why are they celebrating?"

"Have you never had a party on your birthday?"

Damian thought about it for a moment, and focused back on Dick.

"Well, once, on my eight birthday, but that wasn't because we were celebrating my birthday. It was because I met my mother for the first time…"

He glanced sideways, as if he wasn't sure about it.

"I guess."

Dick leaned back, not exactly sure what to think. Damian had never really celebrated a birthday? Wait, when was his birthday anyway?"

"When is your birthday? You never told us…"

Damian shrugged.

"I don't exactly know when I was "born". But I always counted my age like I count the years; it ends at the last day of December."

Holy crap, Dick thought, Talia had never even given Damian a birth date? And Sylvester was a poor and lazy way to solve it…

"But you were born someday, you can't just choose your birthday."

"Father never told you, did he?" Damian asked, smiling bitter.

"Never told me what?"

Damian sighed and gently pushed away the tray, filled with wrappings.

"My mother didn't actually give birth to me. I grew and well, was nurtured inside of an artificial womb of sorts.
As soon as I was old enough to live like any other baby, I was released and given into the care of my maid.
But no one besides my mother and my maid know what day that was.
And well, since my mother denies her maternity and my maid is dead, I don't think I'll ever find out."

The whole time, Dick had listened, he had kept a blank face, but inside he felt shocked.
How could a woman be so cruel to her only son? Damian had been nothing but an experiment and a tool to get close to Batman…

"Damian…I" he started, thinking of words of comfort, but Damian smiled at him, unusually calm.

"It's no problem, Grayson. I never cared about it."

Carefully, Dick studied Damian's face, but eventually he sighed and got up.

"I'll go get dessert, do you want something?"

Damian shook his head and watched Dick heading towards the counter.

He heard the children at the table with the birthday child laugh and giggle happily.
They played with toys and started to chase each other around the tables, even passing his one time, and something inside of him longed to be one of them.

Inside his head, he wondered what he would have been like, if he had lived with his father and Grayson his whole life.

He'd probably be still a bit arrogant, but a lot more open and half as paranoid.
Of course he'd also have the ability to cope with social interactions easily; maybe he'd even attend a normal school…

"Dami?"

Startled, Damian looked up to see Dick waving his hand in front of his face, holding a muffin in the other.

"You okay?"

"Can we go home?" Damian asked, and Dick frowned upon hearing the urgency in the boy's voice.

"Yeah, no problem, but why?"

Gathering their trays, Damian got up and headed towards the exit without answering.
Dick followed and nibbled at his muffin on the way, wondering what was wrong now.

Without a word, they got to one of Bruce's cars, standing in the parking lot, and Damian waited for Dick to unlock it before climbing in quickly.

"Look Dami, if you'd just – "

"- Can we…" Damian cut him off

"Can we celebrate my birthday this year?" he asked, too embarrassed to look into Dick's eyes.

"I mean at I don't know…"

"How about 5th January?"

Damian looked up, a puzzled look on his face.

"Why that?"

"I don't know, I just like it. And of course we can."

Damian smiled sheepishly and looked out of the window, while Dick started the engine and backed out of the parking space.

"But I'll get to choose the guests"

"Of course."

"And Drake won't be invited."

"Of course he will" Dick answered, smiling patiently.

"And I want to go patrolling then"

"With you" he added.

"No problem"

"And I want to eat jellyfish"

Dick turned to look at him, a disgusted look on his face.

"What?"

Damian shrugged.

"It's delicious."

A/N and yes, jellyfish is delicious ;)