Murdoc was lying on his bed, 2D sat next to him listening to every word that the older man had to say. It still felt strange talking to somebody about these things; he had always figured that he would keep these things about his family buried deep within himself until he had to go to court ordered therapy.

"Why do yew wear contacts?"

"Why wouldn't I, my eyes look like bloody rabbit eyes or something."

He hadn't had the contacts in for a couple of days now. He had to admit it felt better, wearing those things every day drove him insane, but not as insane as seeing his natural eye colour.

"I like yer eyes."

"Why?" The older man asked almost offended by the compliment.

He tried to remind himself that 2D was just being nice, that and he was too stupid to really understand a damned thing that Murdoc had said to him in the past few hours.

"I dunno, they just look really pretty." The younger man said shrugging.

"Dumb reason, I keep telling myself yew don't mean any of wot yer saying. Yer just a little moron who is trying to make me feel better 'bout myself."

"I do mean it though, I really like yew Muds." The blue haired man said as he began combing his fingers through the older man's hair.

Murdoc allowed him to do this, allowed himself to admit that it felt nice. Nearly as nice as it had felt to be kissing the younger man.

"Yer a terrible liar Stu"

"Yew almost never call me Stu."

"It's a nice name I'm gonna try an' call yew that more."

2D lay down next to him resting his head on the older man's chest. Murdoc wrapped an arm around him holding him closely. He thought about himself and how anybody from his past who had known about his origins had found him disgusting. He thought about the deal he had with Jimmy and the very real possibility that the little psychopath could kill his band mates at any time. He thought about the man in his arms, how just a few days ago everything was normal and violent. He never would have thought he'd be here, he sure as hell never thought he'd confess everything so easily.

"Do yew really still find me attractive?"

2D looked up at him.

"Yeah course I do."

"I don't get it."

"I just really like yew, yer not really a monster or a complete jackarse. Yew just like to think that yew are."

"Ever think maybe yer a complete idiot and maybe I am actually a bad guy?"

2D went quiet for a bit as he thought over the idea.

"Maybe, but it doesn't really matter does it?"

"No guess not, not right now anyways. Promise me yew aren't lying to me."

"I promise, swear on my own life." The younger man said smiling.

It was strange wanting somebody to promise something to him. Strange having somebody trust him so fully when the reality of it was that he so easily put their life in danger without a second thought; 2D never had to know that though, if Murdoc had his way then it'd stay that way.

2D kissed him; the action surprised the green skinned man. The younger man pulled back a bit and just stared down into his eyes. Murdoc tried to hold eye contact with him but couldn't manage, the longer he looked at him the more self-conscious he felt about his eyes and his skin; about his genetics. He turned his head to the side avoiding the younger man's stare. 2D ran his fingertips along the older man's cheek; he leaned down pressing his lips against his skin. Kissing his cheek, his jaw, and then down the side of his neck.

"I'm not judging yew" He whispered against his ear.

"It's funny in a sad way; there were a couple times when I was younger where I thought 'bout killing myself. All because of this, because of my looks an' because everyone knew 'bout Rosemarie and Sebastian; nearly did it, I found a gun in Hannibal's room….I really wanted to do it, sometimes I wish that I had." He said smiling sadly.

He still couldn't bring himself to look at the other man; he continued to stare off at the other side of the room. Cortez sat upon his perch with his head tilted to one side as he watched his master carefully.

Murdoc could feel 2D's lips against his neck, his warm breath coming in little puffs of air. He could feel those long pianist fingers of his going through his greasy hair. He could even feel the little shiver the younger man gave when he heard that Murdoc had wanted to end his own life, he could feel how nervous that confession had made him. Yet he couldn't fully comprehend why, maybe he never would.

"I love yew" 2D whispered breaking the silence that had come so quickly.

Weird words; love itself was such a weird word. It was one he wasn't accustomed to hearing, not in a way where it was meant. Female fans loved him; no they loved parts of him. Nobody had ever really loved him; it was such a shallow word they threw around left and right. Yet right now it was real, he could feel the meaning in the word. It tied his stomach in knots and made his chest ache. He turned his head and met 2D's eyes.

"I love yew too"

He meant it, he didn't think that he could say it if he hadn't meant it. Not in this case, he couldn't lie like that to the only person who heard his secrets and was willing to give their heart to him.