Chapter 6/7 has been revamped into one chapter. This is the update for today.

Enjooy~

I was down to two options.

So. I'm either lying again or telling Shinra the truth.

I couldn't dare myself to raise my eyes. I couldn't meet his. I could practically feel his anger wafting from his body and there was no way I could keep my mask intact while he stared me down. I was still coming down from the pained high I had been in previously, and to my confusion and almost horror, the after effects were wearing off fast. The situations weren't mixing very well in my mind. The lingering pain had quickened my thought executions but I really didn't want to start something I'd regret. I remained silent. Shinra's glare was a completely new sensation and I couldn't help but shiver. My heart was in my throat and I suddenly felt warm. Warm and panicked.

He's really my only friend, and I can screw this up big time... ha... wait I already screwed this up big time...

I could almost guarantee that Namie was going to have her neck slit later that night. I was very aware that at the end of the day, I was responsible for the mess I had put myself in, but still. She had one job. To look in Shinra's bag for some wipes or a cloth and somehow, she managed to screw that up. She obviously opened the bag Shiki had given me... I thought the bag Shiki gave me was locked? If she did anything else stupid, her head might end up severed just to join Celty's real head hidden in my bookshelf.

That's right. This head must be the fake.

And that was what made the situation so complicated.

"Izaya?" Shinra's voice caught my attention, and I sheepishly raised my eyes to him. His face was unreadable but his eyes were unnaturally harsh. He was confused, I knew, but mad. Incredibly mad. Normally, I would have found his anger to be entertaining – I did live to see my humans express their emotions, after all – but it was still Shinra. My Shinra. The Shinra who over looked my cold exterior to try and understand why I was the way I was. He knew me better than anyone else and he was incredibly forgiving by nature, yet he still seemed to growl out his next sentence, "What is this doing here?"

I swallowed thickly.

"Well," My voice cracked. Namie was standing tall with her arms crossed and she too seemed to be trying to figure out what had happened. She was eyeing the head suspiciously. She knew what it was and she knew all the pieces to my grand puzzle. The question was, did she remember, and could she put everything together? I had fed all of the information to her; she had been my Rook between Tokyo and the outside world, constantly able to travel to which ever pawn or piece I needed her to in the least amount of turns while I, the king, remained at the back of the board laughing.

I swallowed again, making sure to hold Shinra's gaze. "I don't know." I whispered.

It was half true. I honestly had no idea how Shiki got hold over the head, and I sure as hell didn't know why he attempted to send it to his estranged subordinate. I had tried to make the situation as complicated as I could to keep people from figuring out my motive and goal. Shiki's bag just made everything more confusing. What else could be in the bag? My eyes flickered to the unlocked duffel bag in curiosity. There was a file folder falling out from within it, and to my irritation, the barrel of a gun was visible amongst a sea of crumpled newspaper. He set me up. When was it unlocked? Wait! Did I even check to make sure it was locked? Did he just tell me it was locked to keep me from looking? Why is the Replica in that bag? How did Shiki even get it! It was supposed to go to -

Things suddenly clicked in my brain and I paled. Shinra noticed, and his face suddenly grew red. He sneered at me with his lips pulling back. "What the hell did you do!?" He suddenly yelled. He abruptly stood up from the coffee table to tower over me, and tower he did. I inwardly wanted to shrink, to avoid his wrath.

Any medical help he had been about to offer me was probably out the window.

I swallowed again, chuckling nervously. I averted my gaze and let it linger on Shiki's bag of mass destruction. "That's a loaded question." My fingers clasped each other into my lap and my foot started to lightly bounce. He had known that I had Celty's head. He had known. But how was I supposed to explain that the real one was still safe in my bookshelf? And that this one was a fake? "Shinra, some things are better left unspoken."

His arm swung in the fraction of a second. I didn't see it, predict it, or have time to stop it. Skin violently hit skin and my face was snapped to the right. I almost fell over from the force. I gasped, staring across my living room in genuine shock. He just hit me...

I swallowed hard once again. My cheek burned from the open slap but I didn't dare cradle it. I didn't dare move. What do I do?

Namie suddenly decided to open her mouth again, for better or worse. "Izaya, isn't this that replica you got me to make?" Apparently for worse. She stepped forward, suddenly remembering the oddest request I had ever asked of her, and knelt down, gently picking up the head before I could process what she had said. I recovered from the slap and her words just in time to miss my chance of stopping her. "So it is. I thought so, seeing how I know where the real one is."

One-hundred percent, she is having her throat slit later tonight. The jitter in my foot abruptly stopped. I squeezed my hands together as my mind sluggishly tried to think of a way out of the situation. My throat went dry just as Shinra carefully took the object from Namie.

"It's... a replica?" He whispered in shock. He looked it over carefully for a few seconds before his eyes met Namie's. His fingers tensed against the skin.

Namie nodded. She offered him a gentle smile. Is she trying to help me or dig my grave? "Don't worry. The real one is safe. It is as safe as it can be."

Shinra's eyes ghosted back over to mine and I couldn't help but shudder. I offered Shinra a small grin, what else could I do? "And once again, why is this here?"

"I don't know." I repeated. My eyes drifted to the duffel bag once again. "I don't know why-"

"Can you stop lying for a second?" Shinra asked like it was a favour. His voice was harsh. He was still standing above me and it took all of my inner control to not curl away from him. He raised his hands in a confused gesture and I flinched. "Here I have a replica of Celty's head, in a bag given to you from Shiki, and you are just trying to tell me that it was conveniently coincidental?"

I had to give him credit. He was thinking on my level. "No, I am trying to say that-"

Trying to say what? I didn't even know what I was trying to say, let alone how I would convey that message to Shinra. I suddenly stopped mid sentence with the air rushing from my lungs. I started to shiver, even though the heat had kicked in long ago. What do I say? What do I tell him? My problem was that he was my friend. He was the only human being who accepted my personality the way it was, all faults included. He was the only person who could stand me and genuinely liked me. Namie didn't like me, she just put up with me. And then there were people like Saki who wrongfully adored me because I had practically brain washed them into thinking so. Those people were my humans; humans I adored because they were so vast and complex.

But this was Shinra.

He knew I was lying. He knew that I wasn't telling him the full story. And he knew that I had all of the information stored away in my brain. He knew. He was certain. No questions.

It was the way his chocolate eyes scanned over my face in disappointment. He had trusted me because he thought we mutually understood each other. I knew he wouldn't look twice at humanity while he knew that I wouldn't look twice at someone like Celty. His love lied in the supernatural world, while mine remained in my god-like realm of observation. Our natural personalities should have conflicted, but somehow we ended up fitting together perfectly.

And he knew. He knew that something peculiar and unimaginable was happening to me. He knew. I knew that he knew. And yet I was still lying.

Why am I lying to him?

Pain suddenly shot up through my stomach, making me jump out of my thoughts. Once again, the demon swirling inside of my lower belly bit me. My hands jolted around my hips and I tensed my jaw to keep the pain off of my expression. Why are you biting me?

There was a swoosh inside of my belly, followed by a thought. Make him leave and I'll stop. Confusion showed on my face. What would stop? The pain? Wait. It was conversing with me?

Shinra cleared his throat, bringing my attention back to him. I met his angry eyes once again as I decided my course of action. "Well? You are trying to say what?"

I swallowed dryly before standing up. I didn't really have two options, so I went with it. "You need to leave." I said quietly. I tried to keep the threat out of my voice.

Shinra chuckled, before full out laughing at me. "Oh wow, Izaya. Yes. Yes! Yes! I totally forgot who you are!" He laughed some more, pointing a finger at me. My heart dropped in my chest, the blood draining from my face. "You, you are the God who loves all of humanity! You love all of humanity, not individuals! Why? Because you can't love people. I know. You've told me. So I guess I should have seen this coming. I am just an individual, so you don't actually need me." He narrowed his eyes. "You know, if humanity as a whole ever comes to love you, then what? You'll just forsake them all anyway. You're fragile and stupid to think that you can live and support yourself alone. You need people, yet here you are, shoving me away, lying to my face, and -"

"Shinra, stop." My voice wavered and I took a step back around the couch. I could feel that wretched feeling in my heart, like something was breaking and snapping away. My mask returned to my face full force. Not a trace of emotion to be seen. My voice however, was still wavering just above a whisper.

"No." Shinra said stubbornly, like a small child denying a direct order. "I will not stop, because you will not stop. You're destroying yourself, Izaya. You chose this path, you chose this life, and when things get bad, you run. You can't expect people to stay by your side forever, especially when you treat them the way you do. No wonder humanity hates your guts. You don't really love them. You don't know how to."

I took a step back. My mask was holding, but my heart wasn't.

"You cheat and lie and trick and steal. You do, and I know. I do the same, but not to the people closest to me. Have I ever lied to you? Have I ever tried to trick you into doing something? No. Because I thought you were my friend, and I would never do that to someone I cared about. I thought that if I opened up to you and treated you right, that you would do the same." Shinra suddenly gestured widely to the whole room, "But here we are, and I was wrong."

Namie had averted her gaze. She was uncomfortably rubbing her arm while something on my carpet kept her undying attention. Shinra was still looking at me, and I felt my cheeks heat up, along with the corner of my eyes. I clenched my jaw to keep myself from saying anything unnecessary.

Shinra swallowed hard. He crossed his arms with a frown. We stared at each other for several prolonged moments before he pushed up his glasses and turned away from me, back towards his medical bag. "Well, I think my work here is done."

I turned away before he could even move and headed for the door. I needed fresh air. Or space. Or something. My breathing had become heavy while my eyes blurred. My mind was fogging and clouding over, my thoughts running into each other and crashing out of sync. It was hard to breathe as I slipped into my jacket and my heart was beating violently in my chest. I slipped into my shoes next just as my eyes threatened to tear up. My stomach, however, was perfectly fine.

It hadn't felt so good in days.

"Shinra, can I talk to you?" I heard Namie whisper before I exited my own apartment in a rush. I didn't need or want to hear anything else. I didn't even want to be there.

I had screwed up. Majorly.

The door accidentally slammed closed behind me. I hesitated in the hallway for a moment, debating on whether or not I should lock it.

Deciding that Namie would take care of it – and even if she didn't, then whatever – I simply decided to storm off down the hallway. I took the stairs instead of the elevator in an attempt to blow off next to no steam as I rushed down them in a borderline panic. There was no pain in my body as I jumped the last step and squeaked my way through the main office to the sliding doors. I didn't even realize I was running.

The warm air of the afternoon hit me right in the face. The sun was high and proud like almost every other day, but the warmth on my skin did not make me feel good. I disappeared into the crowd immediately, heading towards Ikebukuro where I knew I could probably run off some stress. Dammit! Shinra why? Why did this happen? There was an ache in my chest as I blended in with the bustling sidewalks of Shinjuku. My mouth was still bone dry and my limbs were trembling like it was winter. I was jogging, seemingly unable to walk. I need a distraction. Distraction. It's okay, dammit, I'm okay.

Heh. I was just lying to myself.

I headed down the street, and then opted to take an alley. If anything, I thought I would have felt fear being alone down here. The alley did nothing to my feelings; it was like the shooting had never even happened. I was almost surprised, and a little disappointed. I'd rather feel fear than shame. I sort of wanted to get the fear train rolling. It had been too long, the threat had been too open, and I felt myself becoming more nervous as time progressed. Something terrible was going to happen and the anticipation was hurting me. Breathless, I slowed down to a walk and let the confusion of today's events take over my mind. When would these fears come? Soon. Like tomorrow soon.

My hands slid down to my lower stomach over my zipped up jacket. In a sudden burst of frustration, I started speaking like there was actually something inside of me. "Now listen here, you little bitch," I growled, hoping that the creature – if it actually existed – could hear me, "I don't know what your purpose is, or why you're in there, but if you don't cut out the biting and scratching, I'll cut you out instead. You hear me?" I rubbed my hands like I was scratching an itch. "If you make me happy, then maybe I will make you happy. So I don't know what your problem was, but you got me into trouble, yes?"

To my horror and surprise, there was a grumble from within me. Something vibrated, I could feel it inside against my hip bones, and I suddenly choked on the rest of my lecture. There's something growing inside of me. I felt the stress and anxiety from earlier hit me full force. There was something inside of me. I had been raped in Hell, and now there was something growing in my belly. No, no, shit, no! My chest constricted and a sweat broke out on my forehead as I rubbed what Shinra liked to call 'swelling'.

Before I knew it, I had exited the alley and was once again merging with regular human beings in a rush. My hands slid into my pockets, pressing against my belly protectively. People walked past me without even glancing my way. I inhaled sharply, forcing my mind to ignore what had just happened. The thing could wait. I couldn't deal with it at the moment. You don't know how to love people. Was it true? Was that how the world saw me? You would just forsake them all anyway. In my time of absolute need, I had shoved Shinra as far away as possible. My fingers began to tremble inside of my pockets. I was dooming myself. I was walking the path of death.

I don't have any other friends, right? Shinra was probably the only person who could physically save me from the monster that I had bred myself. Demons are spawned from sin, and sin has been my life. But was that entirely true? I had helped people out before, in my own twisted way of course. I had humbly excused myself, never taking the glory. I wasn't one to gloat about my self achievements; I was never one to talk about myself anyway.

My stomach suddenly growled, not in anger or annoyance, but in pure hunger. I glanced down to my stomach as I slowly took the next corner. Russia sushi was not too far away, maybe ten minutes if I walked quickly, which I seemed to be doing, and I suddenly had this huge craving for some fatty tuna. My stomach churned and my mouth salivated at the mere thought. I don't want to puke again. I groaned, turning the ten minute walk into a twenty minute walk as I debated.

Can I actually eat? Oh wow, that sounds delicious right now~ you better let me eat, you little prick. I rubbed my stomach solemnly as it growled again. I had to force the worry from showing on my face. This whole ordeal was panic worthy.

"Eat sushi! It good for you! It no make you sick- Izaya! How are you!" I stopped walking and glanced up at the large black Russian man. He grinned down at me, a large hand slapping down on my shoulder. Weird. I had predicted touching to be one of my fears. It had suddenly occurred to me that Shinra had made skin contact below my belly button and I had been fine. What the hell are these fears, then? I haven't experienced any of them, and the ones that I assumed are incorrect! "Izaya," Simon lowered his voice, suddenly switching into Russian, "You don't look very good. I heard something on the streets that you had been killed."

I nodded, plastering a grin on my face. I replied to him in his own language. "Yeah, there's a rumour going around. It's good to see you again."

Simon was grinning, but his eyes were hard. "You look like you've been fighting. You should stay out of trouble for a while."

My stomach suddenly roared, reminding me of my hunger and craving. Simon glanced at me, surprised, and then he scowled. He switched back to Japanese, "Izaya, why you no eat? Your stomach hungry, come, eat sushi. Juicy tuna for you today." He ushered me into the restaurant and I didn't resist.

A minute later and I was sitting at the bar with a cup of steaming hot green tea. I thanked Simon quietly, pulling out my phone after he promised me a free meal. I had one new message, and I secretly hoped that it wasn't Shinra. As terrible as I felt about the whole ordeal, I still didn't want to deal with it so soon.

Even better, it was from Namie. [Shinra just left. He gave me some instructions to try and help you. What you did earlier wasn't right, but it was typical of you. By the way, some clients called. Am I still putting everyone on hold? And what about Shiki?]

I sighed, spinning in the bar chair once before stopping. Denis, the chef preparing my meal, was eyeing me wearily, so I smiled cheerfully at him.

[Just put everyone on hold. If Shiki calls for an appointment, then he knows I'm alive. Let him book a time.]

And with that, I slipped my cell phone back into my pocket – hopefully for forever. I sipped my tea quietly while my mind tried to calmly process what had happened earlier. Shinra really chewed me out. I shouldn't have... I just... Damn. What am I doing?

My thoughts kept wandering and I didn't know how to stop them.

There was also the whole ordeal with Shiki and the replica of Celty's head. What am I to do about all of that? The situation was confusing. To explain it simply... well...

"Here you go. Eat." A plate was suddenly pushed in front of me and I glanced down. The smell hit me first, the delicious aroma of fresh fish floating into my nose, and then my eyes scanned over the perfectly prepared rolls amongst the ginger. My stomach growled in anticipation. I sniffed it appreciatively, my mouth suddenly wetting as I broke my chop sticks. No wonder people call it food porn. Even I could probably get off on this. I chuckled at the thought - fatty tuna might actually be my thing – squeezing my eyes shut as I honestly debated eating. I didn't think for long, though, and picked up the first roll, eagerly taking a bite. I chewed extra long, savouring the delicious taste that raised my spirits before it all came crashing down.

Or so I expected.

Surprisingly, my stomach accepted the bite, only growling for more. I rubbed my belly happily, a giggle escaping my lips. My little demon likes fatty tuna. Good. Let me eat! The first roll was gone within seconds, followed by the second and third roll. Before I knew it, I had cleared out the entire plate with ease. My stomach didn't protest in the slightest.

And better yet, nothing threatened to come back up.

I sipped my tea cheerfully. So what, I had a fight with Shinra? I had been in pain and irritated and hungry. I could make it up to him. I could win him back as my friend, and rightfully keep him there. So what, there was a little demonic creature growing in my belly? If I really tried, I was sure that I could find a way to get rid of it. Celty was a death faerie, certainly asking her indirectly would lead me to my answers. And so what, Shiki had it out for me? I was charismatic enough to get myself into the situation, so therefore I was charismatic enough to get myself out of it.

Simple solutions for my simply dramatic problems.

I spun in the stool, suddenly beaming. I just ate! An entire plate of fatty tuna! And I didn't get sick! I couldn't help the giggles that escaped my throat. I was just so elated! This is better than the high I get when I watch people! Oh I am so excited! I spun once more with a giggle before I stopped dead in my spin.

There sitting at the other end of the bar was Shizuo Heiwajima.