Dead on the Inside
Chapter Ten: Reign of Terror
Emma
Break came and went, and before we could blink we had a new term before us. On rainy Saturday night the group was sitting in the common room talking about the first official Order meeting and of course Christmas break. We also talked about the Year End Ball.
"I hope the ball is like a fairy tale," Molly said sighing. I giggled at her. Out of the lot of us, Molly was the hopeless-romantic. Lily giggled as well making me brother grin.
"Was New Years a fairy tale?" Sirius asked teasingly, pulling me on to his lap causing me to spill a bit of my newly acquired butterbeer on to the carpet. The group burst into giggles again as Molly blushed. James gave Sirius a leery look; he was still a bit weird about the whole dating thing.
"I'm sure that we would all like to know about your New Years Sirius Black!" Remus replied a huge smile across his face. Sirius gave everyone a mischievous look and snagged a sip of my drink. The others once again got lost in conversation, while I got lost in thought. I was staring at my wrists, constant reminders that would remain with me faintly the rest of my life. Then I began recalling the moments before Lucius showed up, when I told Sirius I thought I loved him, while he was clad in only a towel. Feeling him press me against his bare chest, the memory of that small tattoo on his chest as well, it was all so distant now.
"Come back to me space cadet number one," Sirius joked interrupting my thoughts. "You're spacing out on me." I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I faked a smile the best I could and rested my head in the crock of his neck.
"Sorry, I was thinking."
"Wow, you think, really? That amazes me," James said making the group laugh again. I didn't reply, instead I gazed at the fire burning in the fire place near by. James softened up when he thought he hurt my feelings and apologized.
"It's okay, don't worry about it." I said getting off Sirius and handing him my butterbeer. I went to get the cloak from the trunk under James' bed, and Sirius followed, confused by my actions.
"Em are you okay?" He asked me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I sighed, just feeling exhausted from the numerous things controlling my life at the moment. Seventh year at Hogwarts shouldn't have to be this strenuous. He placed his lips on my neck and began to kiss the skin beneath them.
"Yeah, I'm just tried, and confused…"
"Oh a dangerous mix…"
"With all this Order stuff, I'm glad that I didn't try out for Quidditch, because I hardly have time for you let alone homework," I said thinking. I could tell that Sirius was also deep in thought, because he didn't have a witty comment to ease the tension a little. He released me and I got out the cloak and we went back down stairs as the proper couple we should be.
"Tell exactly what has been on your mind," Sirius asked playing therapist. Remus and Lily listened closely, trying to help relieve my stress. I sat down next to my boyfriend clutching the cloak to my chest.
"It's Voldemort that's got me worried. After this year we're all going to be in the real world, and we won't have these castle walls to protect us, or our spouses or children. There are some many things, like will we defeat Voldemort, or will we all die at a young age-"
"All righty then, Miss Macabre, I think that is quite enough out of you, have more butterbeer."
"My point Sirius is that our future depends on the Order," I replied once more leaving my seat. I went to the porthole and pulled the cloak on. Sirius came over and pulled it off.
"I know where you're going, but you can't leave me with out saying goodnight," He pouted. I gave him a hug and a quick kiss and disappeared under the cloak again. I left the common room with the echo of goodbyes at my back. I walked slowly down the hall way, my bare feet noiselessly padding on the cold stone floor. Prefect round were long over, and even Mr. Flich and his cat Mrs. Norris had retired for the evening. I was the only living soul moving about that cold night. Slowing down even more I pushed open the library door and crept into the restricted section. Once in the safety of the closed door I took off the cloak and drew my wand. The pale white light leading my way toward the answers I so desperately needed.
"Dark Days; Dark Ages, the Times of Merlin, the Eleven Dark Wonders of the Wizards World, the Creation of the Dark Arts, Reign of Terror, ah here you are!" I mumbled to the musty old books, pulling Reign of Terror off the shelf. I sank to the floor cradling the book in my lap and flipped open to the last chapter. I began to read, looking for what I needed to know.
'Despite the countless lives of wizards and muggles alike the Reign of Terror ended when Grinwauld surrendered to Albus Dumbledore. Albus, who is now the Headmaster at Hogwarts said that he did what he thought was right, to stop the countless slaughter of innocent lives. When asked if he believed we would have an other Reign of Terror Albus replied, "We will always see new Dark Wizards, as long as the Wizarding World is around."'
"Oh how very young and foolish I was, to think that we wouldn't see this coming. In my gain of power I felt I could protect the Wizarding world from any so claimed 'dark wizard.'" Dumbledore said from behind me. I gasped, scared half to death and dropped the heavy book to the floor. It made a muffled thump as it hit the dusty stone. I turned to look at him and he smiled weakly, wrinkles forming around his mouth and eyes.
"Is Grindwald dead sir?"
"No, in fact I went to visit him the other day. We often talk about what went wrong that day. He always said that he just wanted to change the world." The wise old man told me. It struck me then how old he really was. He was just a few years out of Hogwarts when this happened, and He was only a teacher when the Chamber of Secrets opened.
"What about Voldemort? What are his intensions?" I pondered out loud, getting to my feet. Dumbledore shook his head in reply. I sighed. I felt as if I'd never be safe.
"Tom Riddle, or Voldemort if you will, is full of secrets. We might not know his intensions until way late into the game. I suggest you get some sleep, you have a long day ahead of you." He said before he left. I took my time getting back to the common room, going over what Dumbledore said in my head. The common room was empty when I got back, so I went straight to bed. His words still pledge me as I feel into an uneasy sleep.