The first of what will probably be a wide range of introspective character sketches.

Gokudera

Gokudera Hayato had been treated as a lot of things since his childhood, and most of them weren't good. He was used to ridicule, to not having anyone care if he lived or died, to being expendable. He'd been eight when he'd fled a family that maybe had cared for him and maybe hadn't, but either way had treated him poorly enough that the streets looked like a better option.

In some ways, they had been.

Shamal… Shamal was a different set of issues on his own. He'd seemed to care, at first, then not, then care again, and eventually just thrown up his hands and kicked Hayato out. (Shamal didn't understand that it wasn't that he wanted to die, he was just so used to being expected to. He couldn't seem to value his life over his skills anywhere else, because those he'd had to work for would have killed him themselves if he seemed to be slacking for even a moment. It was so ingrained that Shamal's anger over him doing the same under the doctor's tutelage just didn't make sense.)

He probably should have figured it out earlier, that as a doctor—hitman or no—Shamal wanted those under his care to take care of themselves, but Shamal had lost patience and, like everyone before him, proven not to care enough to stand by Hayato.

When Reborn gave him the assignment of 'test the Vongola Decimo and you will have a place here', he honestly had been expecting it to be as temporary as everything before, but temporary shelter was better than none and he'd agreed without hesitation.

Then he'd met Sawada Tsunayoshi.

Small, weak, coward, had been his first thoughts. Then, during the actual test, 'pacifist' had come to mind.

When he'd messed up, overeager and angry that this little weak thing was being considered for a position where he would always be valued somehow (Hayato had never felt valued, not for his skills or his position or his family or his self), he'd thought that was it, he was going to die and no one would even care to remember him.

Then that little, weak, under-the-influence (because the Dying Will Bullet removed inhibitions more quickly and thoroughly than alcohol or drugs ever managed) civilian child had flung himself heedlessly into danger to save Hayato.

Had been relieved when the dynamite wicks were snuffed and he could look up and see Hayato standing before him, wide-eyed but unharmed.

Had valued him, a stranger that had just tried to kill him.

(Gokudera-kun, the Juudaime Vongola called him. He knew it was Japanese protocol, that Juudaime might never call him anything else without permission, polite as he was. The boy said he didn't want a subordinate but a friend, but he'd never had a friend and didn't know how to be one. He knew how to be a subordinate, though, and Juudaime valued him even when he messed up.)

He protested and got uncomfortable when Gokudera (because he'd rather be Juudaime's Gokudera than the rest of the mafia's Hayato even if he shared that name with his father) was formal or submissive, got frantic and placating when Gokudera got angry, got frustrated and upset when Gokudera put serving over his own safety—but he never turned him away. Never denied him or told him to leave. Even when the (fake) transfer to Italy came in, he'd been happy because he'd thought it would be better for Gokudera.

(And, yes, he'd said to Reborn that Gokudera was scary and caused trouble for him, and he'd never hidden that reaction from Gokudera, but he'd never told him to leave. Not once.)

Sawada Tsunayoshi, Vongola Decimo (Juudaime), had earned the reverence Gokudera paid him and more. The world could burn around them, and so long as Tsuna was safe and happy, Gokudera would be content to watch it fall.

(Because Juudaime was the Sky, welcoming and accepting all… even a Storm so violent and useless as he.)

xxxx