"All right." Bulldog said. "First rule of football is this... you have to watch it on a big screen TV! Nothing else is acceptable!"

Niles took out his notepad and began writing furiously.

"Okay... Big screen TV." Niles repeated.

"Right. And you must have the appropriate drink to go with the occasion."

Bulldog continued.

"You're absolutely right!" Niles agreed. "We need something tough, powerful-."

"Exactly, Doc!" Bulldog said excitedly. "You're not as dumb as Roz says you are!"

Niles' eyes narrowed. "I beg your pardon? What did you say?"

"Um... Nothin', nothin'! Forget it! Look, the game's about to come on again, so what can I get you to drink?"

Niles thought for a moment, his hand on his chin. "Well... let's see... Oh! I know! How about a glass of cabernet red? It's light in appearance but tougher than it appears!"

"I'm sorry, what?"

Niles rolled his eyes. "Wine, Bulldog!"

"No way! That's total BS, Doc!"

"When I said wine, I meant the beverage, not your tone of voice!" Niles snapped.

"Look, I'm not sure this is worth $200." Bulldog muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, for one thing, who in the hell drinks wine while watching football?"

"What do you suggest then? Champagne?"

"You need a real man's beverage!"

Before Niles could question him further, Bulldog disappeared into the kitchen, returning seconds later.

"Here. Drink this."

Niles cringed at he beverage he held in his hand.

"You can't possibly expect me to drink this!"

"Why in the hell not? I drink it all the time."

"My point exactly!"

"Just take it, okay? It won't kill you!"

"Surely you don't expect me to drink... Rainier Beer!"

"What in the hell is wrong with it?"

"Nothing. It's just-."

"Come on, Crane! Be a man! Open it up and take a gulp! It won't kill ya and even if it does, you'll die happy!"

Bulldog laughed hysterically at t his own joke.

Niles sighed in exasperation and looked at his watch. "Oh, all right!" He popped open the can and stared at the label in disgust.

"Okay, now gulp it down and then slam the empty can down on the coffee table!" Bulldog yelled.

Niles gave him an un-amused glare.

'"Come on, do it!" Bulldog prompted. "What are you, a snob? Oh wait... don't answer that."

"I don't see what the point of this is!" Niles said ignoring Bulldog's comment.

"Just do it!" Bulldog yelled.

"All right, fine"! Niles said. He took the beer and opened the can, and then drank its contents without taking a breath...

"Yes! Now slam the can down on the coffee table!"

Barely able to breathe, Niles rushed into the kitchen.

"Oh man... if you get sick in my apartment..."

Seconds later Niles returned with a dishtowel which he laid on the table.

"What in the hell are you doing with that?" Bulldog asked.

"Protecting the furniture." Niles said calmly. "Frasier always says-."

"The hell with him, all right? Just drink up!"

Niles slammed the empty can on the table and gasped in amazement. "This is so... liberating!"

"Um... right. But these are just the basics, okay?"

"I suppose, but when are you going to teach me about football, Bulldog? You know... Home runs and baskets and that sort of thing?"

Bulldog shook his head in disbelief. "All right. Look, the game's back on so concentrate, okay?"

Niles nodded and put his pen to paper, ready to take some notes.

Meanwhile, Bulldog gulped down another beer. He had a feeling that before this afternoon was over; he'd be making a beer run.

He was going to need all the alcohol he could get.

Good thing he had an extra $200.