Happy reading everyone! WARNING! There is some SEXUAL CONTENT with in this chapter! Don't forget to comment below let me know what you guys think.
A love like no other
Chapter 10
Beatrice P.O.V
Six months before Tobias' choosing day
It's been three years since I told Tobias I loved him. Three years since he told me he loved me as well. Three years since he kissed me and called me his. We both knew there was no turning back, we were and still in this together.
The house grows quiet as the time approaches midnight. Just like I have million times before, I claim carefully and quietly out of my bedroom window. Time seems to no longer be on our side anymore, as we we approach Tobias' choosing ceremony. I know he will have to leave me. Just like he knows I will soon follow behind. Six months left together is all we have. Six months and than we will be separated for two years. Will I survive the loneliness? Tobias is all I have ever known. All I will ever want to know.
The moment my feet land on the ground, I feel arms wrap around my waist from behind me. I don't need to look, the all too familiar zing of his touch tells me exactly who it is. I feel his chest against my back pulling me tightly against him. His soft lips graze my exposed skin on my neck.
"Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart." I hear the whispers from my beloved. I take notice of his lips just centimeters from my ear, sending me shivers down my spine.
"Happy Anniversary." I repeat trying to keep my voice steady.
"I have a surprise for you. Do you trust me?" He asks. Do I trust him? With my life.
"Yes." I reply.
"Good. Lets get going." He says letting me go but keeping my hand in his as he tows me with him.
We arrive in just minutes to the outskirts of Abnegation. Tobias' steps doesn't falter. He tows me towards a abandon building. At first fear creeps over me. The factionless are unpredictable. Is it safe? But than I know Tobias would never place us in danger. He would do anything to protect me to the end. I allow him to continue to tow me inside.
He takes me slowly up the stairs of the old building, stay he hasn't said one word. His heavy breathing is the only thing keeping our silence at bay. When we enter a room, it takes me by surprise. The room is light with a few candles that surround the room. A large blanket sits on the floor. Next to the blanket is a few bottles of water, and couple of can fruit.
"I took a few candles from the factionless donation boxes. Along with two cans of fruit. Just little something to help celebrate us." He says shyly. I can see the light shade of pink on his cheeks.
"I love it, Tobias. Thank you." I say closing the gap between us wrapping my arms around his neck. He meets me half way, knowing exactly what I am seeking. His lips. His lips that are always so soft, so tender against mine. He never pushes for more, always respects me in every way. Although we started courting three years ago. It took months before we kissed each other on the lips. But since we started its been hard to control our urges and stop. Its hard to concentrate on anything other than his lips, his hands, and his arms.
"I love you, Beatrice Prior." He says before claiming my lips again. I don't have the strength to deny him. He breaks our kiss and guides me to the blanket. I'm still amazed that he would go through such lengths to please me. How could I have gotten so lucky?
"I have something for you." Tobias says with a nervous smile.
"Something? I thought all this was-" He cuts me off before I could finish my thought.
"This is all for you, Beatrice. You deserve so much. Much more than I can give you." He says. I see him dig into his right pocket. When he pulls his hand out of his pocket, I see his hand in balled up into a fist. He takes my left hand into his own. "Beatrice Prior, you are my life, my world, my everything. I don't know where we will be tomorrow. I don't know what the future has in store for both of us. But I know we will face it like we always have... Together. Would you accept this ring, has a token to my promise of tomorrow?" I feel him slip on my ring finger something round and unfamiliar. When I look down it's a hand made ring out of wires, along with a shaped heart facing upwards towards me.
"Oh, Tobias." Is all I can say, as tears escape my eyes. Never have I ever imagine such a love in a million years. "Yes." I say barely a whisper.
As my answer rolls of my lips, Tobias crashes his lips into mine. Claiming my lips as his own. I don't know if he leans in to me or if I lean back, first. His body hovers over mine, laying his body between my legs. As our kisses go from tender and loving to passionate and lustful. I feel can feel his hands wondering on my body. From the outer thighs, up my hips, waist, to the sides of my breasts. Each movement sends shivers down my body.
Tobias finally breaks out kiss, but he doesn't stop. He trails open mouth kisses down my jaw, to my neck. The sensation of every kiss he plants on my neck and throat, I feel his tongue graze my skin, an uncontrollable moan escapes my lips. Just for a moment I feel my cheeks blush, embarrassed at the noises I can't control. But I notice with every moan his kisses become more erratic and aggressive. I can feel his arousal between my legs through his pants. We've never been this close. The feeling of him on me, kissing me, his hands all over me.
His fingers find the buttons on my blouse and we stare at each other for a moment, asking the unspeakable question. I nod giving him permission. I watch as he works on the buttons, leaving hot trails as he undone each one. He continues to kiss the newly exposed skin. My fingers tangle into his hair, holding him to me. He moves my bra to the side, exposing my right breast, and I moan to the new sensation has his mouth kisses and sucks on my breasts.
"Your so beautiful, Bea. Perfect." He says has he move to my left breasts. I moan his name, wanting more. As if he can read my mind, he gives me more. His kisses become more aggressive and he claims my body as his own. He snakes one of his arms behind my back, pulling my even closer to him. My body reacts to him with a roll of my own hips towards his groin. He lets out his own groan. "Bea, we need to stop. I don't... I can't... control myself much longer." He says between panting.
"Please don't stop, Tobias." I say nearly pleading with him. I want more. Need more.
"Bea." He starts to protest but I cut him off.
"Tobias, please. I want you. All of you." As I express myself I once again roll my hips upwards allowing myself to rub against his groin. He tightly closes his eyes, letting out a gasp at my actions.
"Are you sure, Bea. We don't have to. This isn't why I..." He says looking into my eyes.
"I know I want to. I love you, Tobias Eaton. I want to make love to you." I express my breath still not even.
"I love to you too. I want nothing more than to make love to you too." He says claiming my lips once again with his own. "I want to make you mine forever, as I am yours."
Present day
I lay awake waiting for the alarm to go off, signaling me to begin another day. Another day without Tobias. Another day living with Marcus.
Since half of my punishment is increase in my volunteer hours, I spend the most of my waking Saturday in factionless sector. My Mother often joins me, a way to spend more time together and do good in the city. I don't mind. I find myself wanting to be closer to her more than ever since I have been pregnant.
Its mid December, which means the weather is a bit chilly. We often hand out blankets, coats, and hot soup and bread to the factionless. Each time I see a child among them, I thank goodness that Tobias and I choose not to become factionless after all. The thought of having this baby being factionless, even if Tobias with me, would be more terrifying than what I am going through right now.
The Abnegation doesn't celebrate normal Holidays like the other factions do. Halloween comes and goes, like any other day. Thanksgiving is celebrated by passing out soup and bread to everyone with in the sector and to the factionless. Christmas is often spent with in our homes, spend the day in silence and prayer. New years is not acknowledged, other than make sure you change the number when writing the date. I wonder what Holidays will be like when I am Dauntless. Will Sara like to go trick or treating, will we spend Thanksgiving with friends, will be decorate our home in Christmas spirit?
I am six months pregnant. The baby is due in March 15th. It won't be long now. Sara is an very active baby. She is often kicking, performing flip flips in my stomach or so it seems. I wish Tobias was here to experience all of this with me. I fear his reaction when he realizes what he has messed.
"Just two years of lost, for a life time of happiness." It's funny how those words continue to play with in my mind. I use to repeat those words to Tobias when he would question if him leaving was the right thing to do. I repeat those words to myself more than ever now, reminding myself that everything will get better. It has too.
Mother has helped me start gathering the things that will be needed for Sara's arrival. Of course with no help from either Father nor Marcus. We have managed to get a crib, mattress, a few bedding items for her, and we began to collect clothing for her. I anticipate the day I will have her in my arms. I wonder who she will look like the most? Will she have her father's eyes, my hair, or my eyes and his hair? Will she take after him completely? Mother is write, we may not have planned for Baby Sara. We may have conceived her without plan but no mater what she is a blessing and a miracle. I will love her til my last breath. I will do anything to protect her.
Luckily the beatings haven't gotten worst than the first time, they haven't gotten any better either though. Marcus hasn't locked me up in the closet, nor has he struck me with the belt. YET. Although that doesn't stop him from his threats to. I often wonder if my mother has something to do with his restraint. She is often here when he arrives home. She still helps me around the house with chores or at least that is her excuse. She doesn't want me getting to tired because of the baby. But I think there is more to just that...
Marcus often comments that he will have another chance at raising a child. A child that might be worthy of his attention. She might one day be fit to become an Abnegation leader. Seeing that his "good for nothing wife" isn't here to brainwash another child against him. Does he really think I will choose to remain in Abnegation? Can he really be that arrogant to believe I will stay and let him have a say in our lives? That I wouldn't choose to follow Tobias, my child's father to Dauntless? Or does he truly believe that he can somehow keep me here? I have caught him watching me, when he thinks I'm not paying attention. Well not so much me... He eyes my growing abdomen, like its his possession to claim or something. It often creeps me out.
Marcus still continues to try to place doubt and shame with in me. Tobias is probably sleeping with gorgeous Dauntless girls. Girls with much more experience, much more worthy of him. Tobias has probably forgotten all about little old me. He wont want me once I give birth, since my womanhood will be all stretched and torn out from birth. But no mater what he says, I will follow him. Tobias and I share a love like no other, I need to have faith in that love. I also know that if the worst happens and he has found another to love... Sara still deserves to know her father. To be raised and loved by both of us. It would hurt, but we will figure it out together.
I live in fear twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, it never dulls and never wavers. The fear that Marcus might come home drunk and loose control. The fear that my baby wont survive. The fear that I wont survive. Even in my deep slumber, my eyes fly open to the littlest sound in the house. I can't remember back when I got a full good nights rest. I have even mastered the art in fast paced showers and only in the after noon. When I know Marcus isn't home.
Since Wednesday are usually the most stressful and longest days for government, Mother and I have joined houses. We both contribute in cooking the meal for both houses and help with the clean up. We alternate between houses to have it. All in hopes that there would be too many witnesses for Marcus to take his day out on me, like he used to with Tobias. Even than, my Father refuses to speak to me. Both Father and Marcus will sit in the sitting room until dinner is announced, than and only than do they move, joining us in the dinning table. Father and Marcus continues to speak among themselves. While Mother, Caleb and I have a quiet dinner.
Caleb is still upset at me. I broke our family. I am out my family and faction to shame. But he doesn't understand, that I am ashamed of him. He is after all my older brother. Isn't part of his job to love and protect me? Yet, just the other day he failed to do so. Right in front of him, a Candor boy pushed me shoulder first into a wall. He didn't do a thing to help me. The Candor boy, made accusations that if I am so easy, I should give him some attention as well. Caleb just stood there. Said I deserved to be treated in such a manner.
On Friday I tried to confront a few Dauntless borns. I need to get word to Tobias. Maybe he can help us? Or at the very least prepare for both of us. But each time I ask a Dauntless born if they have heard of Tobias Eaton with in their faction, they look as if I am crazy. They don't know of him. Some even said they wouldn't help a stiff even if they knew him. At first I was worried that he may not have gotten through initiation. But I quickly pushed that thought out of my mind. If Tobias didn't pass initiation, he would have been factionless. He would have found a way to get word to me. Just like I won't rest until I get word to him. I just need to find the right Dauntless born. It only takes one that knows him.
"How are you feeling today, Beatrice?" Mother asks as we walk side by side towards the factionless sector.
"I'm doing well, Mother thank you for asking. How are you?" I ask back.
"I'm doing well this morning. Caleb, decided to help clean the house. Your father has some work to day." She says casually.
"How is Father?' I ask. I do miss him dearly. He hasn't looked at me or spoken one word to me since the day I told him I was expecting Tobias' child. I hope I at least get to day good bye to him before my choosing ceremony.
"He is being selfish right now, Beatrice. I'm afraid you might have to give him some time. Even though time doesn't seem to be on either one of yours side." She says.
"Three months to go. Are you excited to meet your daughter?" She asks smiling widely.
"Are you? Ready to meet your granddaughter?" I ask her. There's one thing I know for sure, my Mother , no mater what loves and supports me.
"I am. At least I'll have a little time with her, with both of you... before you transfer." She says. Although she is still smiling, her eyes show her sorrow. I know that at least she will miss me when I am gone.
Meanwhile
Four P.O.V
The Holidays came and went. Some I enjoyed more than others of course. Maybe it's Abnegation still embedded with in me. Maybe I just don't feel complete, frozen in time waiting for the arrival of Beatrice. Or maybe its because I know when to keep my head out of trouble...
For example Halloween. I had no real intentions on going to Zeke's Halloween party, in fact I almost got out of it. I picked up a shift from a friend who has kids, and a wife. I offered to switch shifts with him to give him the night off. He was pleased, he always missed out on trick or treating. The only thing was his shift ended at ten. So with no other excuse... I figured I would show up, have a drink, and leave.
The Dauntless uses any Holiday or celebration to drink and get crazy. Although I don't mind it, it can get out of hand. I prefer to be alone. But like a good supportive friend, and not wanting a high rated, drunk ass Zeke at my door at two am, I showed up. I made myself notice to those that mattered and took a seat on the couch to have a beer. Now I see that was a wrong mistake. I was busy talking to one of my old initiation buddies when a drunken french maid ended up on my lap. I was in shock, usually my "FOUR face" is enough to keep anyone away. But not this girl. Nope she sat down, and made herself well known by grinding her ass on my dick. Before I could even sit up and demand her to get off, she had leaned in and whispered in my ear "You know, all you have to do is undo your zipper and slip in, Four. I'm not wearing any underwear and no one will ever know whats going on." It was than I realized the drunken french maid was Lauren. Yes, the girl that has been after me since day one. My body finally woke up from the shock and stood straight up. I didn't even stop to apologize for making her fall on her ass on the floor. I just walked out.
Sure initiation this year, wont be weird. My partner that will be training the Dauntless born, wont stop trying to get me in bed. I know I cant blame her completely, no one knows about Beatrice other than Zeke. A choice that I decided since I choose to be a instructor, no one can know about Beatrice to keep her safe from future favoritism or accusations.
Thanksgiving on the other hand was extremely enjoyable. Hana invited most of us to her apartment for Thanksgiving dinner. Since it was my first true Thanksgiving, I of course ended up there extremely early and decided to help out with the meal. Hana showed my how to cook a Turkey, which was pretty similar to a chicken but Dauntless style. I really enjoy spending time with Hana, learning new traditions that Abnegation deprive their children of. Its fascinating all the different little touches that go into each Holidays. I cant wait to spend them with Beatrice and make our own traditions for our family.
Christmas was interesting. Although I decided not to celebrate it too much. There was no tree in my home, nor decorations. I didn't see the point. My apartment right now, doesn't feel like my home, not without Bea. I attended Christmas Eve dinner at Hana's and she told us stories about Christmas celebrations when Zeke and Uriah were toddlers. I caught myself fantasizing about the future when Beatrice and I will have our own traditions with our kids. I decided to pick up a shift on Christmas day, letting those with families have a day off. I didn't have Bea, there for I didn't have a family to spend the day with.
I did the same thing for New year's. Zeke told me how its great luck to kiss someone at midnight. Unless Bea is here, I don't want to kiss anyone there for I picked up a shift letting those with partners have the night off.
Zeke continued to nag me about my choice on waiting for Bea. Who knows if she doesn't have someone new? He keeps telling me. But he doesn't get it. There will never be anyone but her. She is all I want. For now I will wait for her and if the day of her choosing she doesn't join me.. I will deal with it than. I cant think about that right now. I wont survive the torture of possibly never seeing her again.
I allow thoughts of Bea and I together once she passes initiation keeps me up at night. Its really the only way to keep the other negative thoughts at bay. I let my mind wonder what Dauntless has to offer us, things we would never even thought about. The endless of conversations between Zeke and I have me fantasizing about Bea's arrival. Ok, maybe it's more like listening to Zeke. After all I have never felt the need to share about Bea's and I's love life.
Sometimes I even have to tune him out, not wanting to know detail love life about him and Shauna. I don't want to picture her like that, she is too much like a sister to me.
Things like birth control pills, even shots are provided during initiation to help prevent pregnancy. The thought of releasing my seed on purpose with in her walls drive me insane alone. Not to mention learning about this whole sexual line of clothing and toys that Dauntless has. I don't know how far Beatrice and I will explore our sexual desires. But one thing is for sure, I am a more than willing to explore and aim to please her.
At first when I arrived to Dauntless, the thought of masturbation was more than uncomfortable to think about performing. I guess Abnegation embedded with in my brain. But over time and learning about more sexual things for Beatrice and I to explore... I couldn't help myself. The fantasizes overwhelm me beyond return and sometimes cold showers just don't cut it. After all I am Dauntless now. In Dauntless sexual needs and desires are normal part of life. The only thing that is really pushed is safe sex. Condoms are practically handed out in the infirmary along with pills and the shot.
I know that once Beatrice arrives we will have to have a conversation about our method of choice. Than I look forward to locking us in our apartment for at least a few days if not a full week. I make a mental note to make sure the fridge is well stocked when that day arrives.
I also have been saving every point I can save. I want to make sure when the day comes we can have everything we ever wanted. Including the ring I plan to get her. I wonder if she wears the promise ring I gave her last year on our three Anniversary. I spent weeks working on that ring, I wanted it to be perfect... I plan to propose to her the night of her initiation. Two years, is long enough of a wait for us. I want nothing more than the night she becomes a full member of Dauntless to be the start of our lives together. As long as she will have me. I want nothing more than to have her as my wife.