Yar! Stupidity 'pon the high seas!
Chapter 10: The Cops!
Disclaimer: If you think it's funny and cool, then it likely isn't. You are delusional.
Gold Stars:
I'll get back to you on that
"Yar! We be settin' sail for adventure!" Mario yelled. "I be lovin' to sail the sea!"
Suddenly a ship appeared behind them.
"Yar?" Mario asked.
"It's the cops!" Fox cried. "They're right above us sir!"
"No they aren't, you stupid Fox!" Ness yelled. "They're behind us!"
The cop ship turned it's lights on.
"Pull over!" The cop, Ike, shouted.
"Yar! Over where!" Mario asked.
"Over hill, over dale, as we hit the dusty trail, and those caissons go rolling along!" Ike cried.
"Yar! Ye'll never get me over the hill!" Mario cried. "Yar! Retaliate!"
Ness ran downstairs to alert everybody that a big fighting scene was likely to take place. They got out the life rafts and abandoned ship so they wouldn't have to deal with it.
"Yar! Where be everyone!?" Mario asked.
"They're right above us sir!" Fox screamed.
"Yar! Ye be a broken record!" Mario yelled. "Where's somebody that be important enough to tell me!"
"Everybody has abandoned you sir!" DK yelled, running up from below deck. "The only loyal people are me, Samus, and Falco!"
"Yar! What 'bout Fox over there!?" Mario asked.
"He's too stupid to know we're about to get into a big fighting scene," DK said.
"Yar! Prepare to board the enemy ship!" Mario yelled.
"We can't. The planks have all gone on strike!" Samus cried.
Planks were marching outside of the ship with little picket signs. They were chanting "Stop walking all over us!" and burning pictures of Mario.
"Yar! Ye' rape one little girl and nobody forgives ye!" Mario yelled.
DK was offended and went outside to join the strike. He was eaten alive by rabid planks.
"I told you to pull over!" Ike yelled.
"There be nowhere to pull over to!" Mario yelled. " What do ye' want!?"
"In the storm, in the night, action left or action right, see those caissons go rolling along!" Ike cried.
"Yar? What caissons?" Mario asked.
"Limber front, limber rear, prepare to mount your cannoneer, and those caissons go rolling along!" Ike yelled.
"Yar! Ye' be not makin' any sense! I can't be mountin' no cannoneer! Not after the last lawsuit!" Mario yelled, and then turned to Samus. "How long till we be ready to fire the cannons?"
"The cannons are on strike, after you last mounted their cannoneer!" Samus cried.
Cannons were outside of the ship marching in circles with small picket signs. Their cannoneer, Kirby, was crying, trying to push the horrid memories out of his mind.
"Yar! Ye' get caught raping someone the night after ye' were caught raping that little girl and nobody forgives ye!" Mario cried.
Samus was offended, and went to go join the strike. She was eaten by rabid planks.
The cannons got pissed, and started shooting at the planks. The planks responded with long range nuclear missiles, but they missed and hit France.
France declared a national holiday.
"This is your last warning!" Ike warned. "Pull over!"
"Yar! I be warnin' ye! Don't mess with the curse of the Black Pearl!" Mario shouted.
"What's that?" Falco asked.
"Yar! I don't know, but it sounds nice!" Mario said.
"Fire!" Ike yelled. So the crew set fire to his ship.
"Ahh!" Ike yelled. "That's why I told you guys not to let Roy out of his cage!"
The police ship exploded.
"Yar! We avoid the law once again!" Mario laughed. "And now there are less people to split the booty with!"
"We don't have any booty, we haven't found a single ship carrying anything worth while for months. We're about to starve to death on this ship!" Falco cried.
"They're right above us sir!" Fox screamed.
Mario sawed the mast off of his ship, and swung it like a bat at Fox. He knocked Fox's head clean off, and dumped the body overboard.
"And now we don't have a mast and there's no hope we're going to die here" Falco said.
"At least we can have some fun before we die!" Mario winked and hinted and raised his eyebrows all at the same time. The stress put on his face caused it to rupture and blood started pouring out.
Falco vomited right into Mario's ruptured face. The vomit made up for all the lost blood and Mario was OK again.
"Yar! What do ye say!?" Mario asked.
Falco went outside to join the strike. He didn't expect to walk right onto a battlefield, where planks and cannons were lining up and launching nuclear warheads at each other.
"Is that safe?" Falco asked. "It's all fun and games until your friend is annihilated by a nuclear warhead!"
"You're not our mom!" one of the planks yelled.
"Yes I am!" Falco replied.
The planks began to cry.
Muppets surfaced from the deep, and ate everything outside of the ship.
"Yar! I be alone!" Mario cried. "I never thought it would end like this!"
It ended exactly like that..
Years later Mario's ship was found by a kid that had been tied to a whale. The kid thought it was cool, and then starved to death out there.
Yar har twidily dee!
If you enjoyed this story!
You are an idiot!
Now review you worthless hag!