Oh my god.
OH MY GOD.
What was I going to do? Oliver can't like me as more than a friend! We knew each other way too well for a romantic relationship to ever work! I mean, crushes on your best friends should be reserved for freshman year, but we all get too mature for that sort of nonsense after then. I mean, if we were meant for each other, we would have figured it out before now, right? RIGHT??
Oh Christ, I was freaking out. A MAJOR freak out. I needed to talk to someone before I well and truly snapped, and starting babbling to myself or throwing condiments at random strangers.
I couldn't call Oliver; he wouldn't want to talk to me after I bolted out of Miley's like that. Miley would probably be pissed about me eavesdropping. Jackson would be washing mustard out of all his nooks and crannies. That left one other person who knew me well enough to understand me if I went round the bend and started screaming gibberish. I fumbled with the speed dial on my cell phone and listened to the ringing with relief.
"Aloha!" A recognisably cheery voice answered.
"Todd! It's Lilly. I need to talk to you."
"Alrighty then! Do you want me to come over later?" Todd breezed.
"No, Todd, I need to talk NOW! Oliver has a crush on me!" I spluttered.
"He told you? FINALLY!" Todd gasped.
"You KNEW?" I shrieked.
"I, uh…pssh, no!" He faltered. "Look, I'm at the beach, I'll be in there in about 10 minutes, okay?"
"Yes, you will." I muttered through gritted teeth. He had already hung up. Coward.
Ten minutes gave me just enough time to make some cookie dough, and believe me, I was going to need a lot of it.
I had just finished mixing mini m&ms into the dough mix when I heard tapping from my bedroom. I love how none of my friends even bother ringing the front doorbell, they just jump the fence and go straight to the doors of my room. Picking up the bowl and two spoons, I sauntered into my room and let Todd in.
"Ugh, you smell like sweat and salty water." I sniffed as he passed me.
"That's coz I came as fast as I could from the beach, fool." He sneered. "Ooh, cookie dough!"
I passed him a spoon and held out the bowl so he could dig in. We both sat down on my bed, and I watched him apprehensively while he munched on my concoction.
"What?" he eyed me dubiously.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I pouted.
"Lil, it wasn't my place. I knew Oliver would tell you eventually."
"He, um, didn't tell me. I happened to overhear him telling Miley." I scuffed the toe of my shoe on the ground like a naughty child being reprimanded.
Todd groaned. "Brilliant. Fucking fantastic. Is that why you have mustard on your shirt?"
"Don't change the subject!" I scolded. "What am I going to do? Things between me and Oliver were just starting to get better, and then this bombshell drops. Our friendship is so, so… PSHYYYUUUWWW!" I imitated a bomb exploding, unable to think of a better word.
"It's not. Why don't you just give him a chance?" Todd shrugged.
"Are you retarded? I can't go out with Oliver!" I shrieked.
"Why not?" Todd just looked at me earnestly.
My mind went blank. I couldn't for the life of me think of one reason why I shouldn't date Oliver.
"See!" Todd smirked. "What reasons did Oliver tell Miley?"
I sighed. "He said we were perfect for each other. That we fit."
"He's right. You guys would make a great couple; you know each other so amazingly well. It's destiny." Todd heaved a dreamy sigh.
I raised my eyebrow. "Toddy, you're doing it again."
"What?" He was perplexed.
"Being queer. Destiny? What the fuck, dude?" I taunted.
"Shut up! You don't believe in destiny?" He retaliated.
"I'm nearly eighteen, Todd. All I believe in is gossip blogs and alcohol solving all my problems."
"You're lady-like, you are." He chuckled. "Just think about it, Lilly. What have you got to lose?" I looked at him like he had an extra nipple. "Oh, right. Him."
"I just want things to go back to the way they were. When Oliver and I were still best friends and we didn't have to worry about our stupid feelings." I grumbled.
"Why just be friends, when you could have it so much better?" Todd questioned. Wow, he was full of surprises today. That was about the fifth time he'd rendered me speechless, a huge feat on its own. All I could do was shovel more cookie dough in my mouth in contemplation.
"I mean, isn't this what you've been looking for? Somebody toooooo loooovvee?" He broke out into a classic melody.
"You know who sings that song? Queen, Todd. QUEEN." I emphasised.
"SHIT! Please ignore any of my future accidental homosexual references, okay?" He pleaded.
"It's alright, Toddy, I'd be totally supportive if you swung that way." I teased.
"I'M NOT GAY!" He yelped.
I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Todd glared at me disapprovingly. "Did this talk help you at all? Because I'm not sticking around for any more of this abuse!"
I stopped giggling, clutching my stomach and gasping for air. "Sorry, sorry, I just…what were we talking about again? I was distracted by thoughts of you in a fluorescent pink g-string." I snorted into hysterics once again.
"Fuck, Lilly! We were talking about the potential perfection of a romantic relationship with one of your best friends! But if all you can think about is me at the Mardi Gras, then I'm out! I thought Oliver meant more to you than this!' Todd yelled angrily as he got up to leave.
That stopped my torrents of laughter. I felt horrible. "I'm so sorry, Todd. He does mean more to me than anyone could ever know. I really appreciate all your help." I whispered at my bedspread.
Todd just sighed, plopped down to face to me, and starting rubbing soothing circles on my back and I valiantly fought the tears threatening to overflow.
"You mean a lot to him too, Lilly. He would go to ends of the earth to make you smile, and you would do the same. Please, try and see this from his point of view. I know he'd make you so, so happy, Lil. That's all I want for the both of you."
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Todd was such a good friend to me, and I didn't deserve him at all. The tears started to drip down my cheeks.
"Thank you. Thank you so much. "I sobbed.
Todd pulled me into a tight hug. I rested my forehead on his shoulder and let his arms encircle my shoulders. "It's fine, Lilmeister. Everything will fine." He whispered onto the top of my head.
"You're a good friend, Toddy. A good, straight as ruler, absolutely non-ostentatious friend." I giggled into his chest.
"I'm glad you think so. You're not too bad yourself, you know."
We sat in the same position for a few more minutes, knowing we were in the presence of a true friend, and as much as I hate acronyms, he really was a BFF.
Suddenly the tranquillity was broken by Todd shrieking and throwing himself backwards off the end of my bed.
"Holy crap, Todd, what the hell are you doing?" I cried, my heart still pumping from the shock of his unexpected acrobatics.
Todd just pointed towards the big, glass doors of my room. Out of the corner of my eye, I could already see someone standing there. I knew who it was before I turned to face the fuming figure looming in the doorframe.
Oliver.
With a hate-filled glance at Todd on the ground, and a sorrowful one at me, he turned away and started walking back across my yard.
"Oliver, wait!" I cried, sprinting out of the double doors, followed hastily by Todd.
He paused for a split second, before continuing towards the gate without even looking back. I grabbed his arm and ran around to face him.
"It…wasn't…what…it…looked…" I wheezed, still puffed from the rapid dash.
"Bull shit! I know what I saw!" Oliver spat. "How could you do this to me?" he turned on Todd. "You know how I feel about her!"
"Dude, I didn't do anything! She called me and said she needed to talk! You know when she has to talk, she has to talk! I had to prevent her from going on a food flinging tirade!" Todd defended himself. "You two need to sort this out right now! I'm not taking anymore of this shit! Talk, now! I'll be watching you." He marched back into my room, took a seat on my bed, and slowly started spooning the remains of the cookie dough into his mouth, glowering menacingly at the both of us. Oliver and I just stared at him in bewilderment.
"Oliver, please, listen to me." I gently took his face in both my hands and turned it to look me in the eyes. And I saw it for a second time. Deep in his eyes, that look of desire. It was stronger than last time. "I would never lie to you" I spoke softly. "Todd was just being a friend. I was literally this close to going out into the street to pelt passers by with meatballs"
Oliver gave a small smile, took my hands in his and removed them from his face, and just tenderly held them by his sides. "I know, Lilly. How did I end up with such freaks for best friends?" he sighed.
"We were probably attracted by your own freak pheromones" I nervously giggled. The tension was easing faster than I thought it would. Already Oliver and I were joking like nothing had ever happened.
"Lil," Oliver whispered and tugged on my hands, forcing me to take a step closer to him. "You know I love you, right?"
Way to go, Oliver, now the tension was higher than ever. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I had barely had time to absorb all of these emotions flowing through me. Oliver took my silence as an affirmative answer.
"Regardless as a friend, or as something more, I really do, Lil. And if you decide don't want to take our friendship further, that you don't feel the same as me, then I can deal with it. I'll move on. You won't have crushed my spirit or anything. I would rather be in your life as a friend than ruin any chance we have by blowing it all on a silly crush."
"It's not silly." I blurted out. I wanted to tell him I thought it could work. That he was right. That we had a definite chance of being happy together. But I wasn't. Come on, Lilly? What happened to the fearless girl that wasn't afraid to speak her mind? The bitch had turned her tail and ran the first time a real challenge had shown up. Oliver looked at me with sincere expectance.
"I…just…um" I stuttered. Pull yourself together, you blithering idiot! "I need to think about it, okay? I don't want to pretend with you. I don't pretend anymore." I mumbled, staring at the ground.
Oliver tucked his index finger under my chin, and lifted it to come practically nose to nose with him. "You never have pretended with me, Lil. You will never have to. I like you just as you are." He breathed, his hot breath tickling my face.
"You got that line from Bridget Jones!" I heard a voice cry from somewhere in the vicinity of the oak tree in my yard. Oliver and I looked around startled, and our eyes eventually landed on my brother, perched on a lower branch. I didn't even know he was home yet.
Oliver rolled his eyes and turned to face me. "I'll see you tomorrow, maybe?" he asked hopefully.
I smiled. "Definitely." He returned my grin as I enveloped my arms around his wait in a hug. "I've missed you" I mumbled. "I'm glad you finally came after me"
He kissed the top of my head. "Me too. More than you know"
"Get a room!" came the obnoxious voice of my brother once again.
Oliver and I broke apart in mild embarrassment. "See you later, alligator" he beamed.
"In a while, crocodile" I returned cheekily.
With a wave of his hand, he had jumped the fence, and was gone. What a day. I was going to need more cookie dough.
Howdy faithful readers! I am off on a school trip to China next week! My teacher told me I wasn't allowed to bring my FREE TIBET t-shirt because I might be shot. Meh. So I think this will be the last update for a couple of weeks. Of course, if I get a few extra reviews, I might be inspired to put a short chapter up before I leave. -wink wink-