A/N: I do not own Melt My Heart to Stone.
Chasing You
Chapter Ten
Flowers from You
I'm the only one in love
"Hello, daughter-in-law."
The brunette was busy searching for some foods in the fridge when Kaoru Hyuuga called her. She quickly turned around and closed the fridge, unable to find something to eat. Normally, that would have been an embarrassing move to be seen by the woman of the house but since the Hyuuga residence was Mikan's second home, it was just a usual thing for her to act. She waved at Kaoru Hyuuga who was dressed in corporate attire and she could easily tell that Kaoru would be attending to some business errand again. She was followed by her son, Natsume. Mikan was glad that she could have at least had a short conversation with her precious auntie before she left.
"Hello, Auntie. It's been so long. How are you?" Mikan asked politely, giving her a kiss in the cheek.
Kaoru kissed her back in the cheek, gave her a knowing look and smiled at her. "Fine, fine. Natsume told me that Yuka has missed me and I'm planning on going there tomorrow."
Mikan gave a bright smile and said with full confidence, "She would love that."
"Great. Is today the first Friday of the month?" Kaoru asked with a wide grin.
The brunette nodded. "Yes, it's Movie Night."
The traditions surrounding Mikan and Natsume's friendship were becoming ten times better because everyone around them was involved and agreed with it. They would hang out somewhere and both families would express their gladness for it, one would eat dinner in another's house and both families would see that as a sign of unending closeness, they would watch a movie every month and both sides were ecstatic about it. But, of course, they never expressed their happiness openly in front of Mikan and Natsume because they did not want to control or pressure the two. The whole world agreed with their friendship despite on how it started and what was it going through now and without a doubt, the whole world would agree with their love story if something like that happens. Everything seemed so right when they were together. Mikan's love for Natsume was something the whole world was aware of and yet they managed to act like normal best friends. Really amazing if the people around them would be asked about it.
Kaoru glanced at her back, saw her precious son, smirked at Mikan, and said a little loudly, "I knew it. Natsume cleaned his room last night."
Mikan giggled. "Wow. Who knew, right?" she teased.
Then the two women laughed. Kaoru and Mikan always had a mother-daughter-like relationship. Maybe because Kaori and Yuka were alike in terms of caring for their child and Mikan noticed this and became comfortable with her Auntie Kaoru. The same went for Natsume who considered hi Aunt Yuka his second mother but since he was the independent type, he rarely consulted Yuka about just anything. Everything was in their favor. Everything about the Hyuugas and the Sakuras was connected. It was like they were bounded to be close with one another and share everything with each one.
"Stop talking about me like I'm not here," Natsume said from behind.
Kaoru turned around and pat him in the shoulder. "Sorry about that, dear. I apologize if I intend to forget about you whenever my future daughter-in-law comes."
She liked to joke about that sometimes because for Kaori Hyuuga, Mikan Sakura was the girl for his son. Sure, she knew that Natsume had not liked Mikan but Kaoru could not comprehend why, so instead of whining about it to his son, she just decided to help Mikan. She knew Mikan and Natsume were perfect together but her stupid son chose not to accept her Dearest Mikan's feelings. So, to let Natsume know that she supported Mikan, she would express it by teasing but not always as it could get embarrassing on Mikan's side in rare times.
Mikan raised an eyebrow at Natsume. "You heard that, Natsume? Your Mom loves me."
Natsume smirked at her. "Wow. Who knew, right?" he teased back and Mikan just glared at him.
Kaoru looked at her watch and bid the kids goodbye. "Okay, kids. You two have fun. Don't do anything except for eating and watching the movie," she reminded in her own motherly way.
Her son gave her a look and drawled out, "Mom."
Kaoru just laughed and got her things. "Okay, okay. I have a dinner meeting. See you two tomorrow." She then gave Mikan and Natsume a kiss on the cheek. The two led her at the door and waved their goodbyes.
"I love your mother," Mikan exclaimed when Kaoru was out of sight.
Natsume crossed his arms and looked at his friend. "Yeah, because she's in favor of you."
Mikan shook her head and said honestly, "Not just because of that. She can still be that cheerful even after everything."
Natsume just stared at her, thinking that what she said was correct. "Yeah, you're right."
"It would be so not cool if you are like your mother," she said, wrinkling her nose, imagining if Natsume acted that way, so sociable, so approachable.
Natsume dismissed the thought. "I can't imagine myself being like her. She's too friendly and not to mention a martyr."
"You and Aoi are so much like your father minus the negative part."
"Don't worry. I'm aware of that."
Mikan seemed surprised at what she said so she made a quick but honest recovery by saying, "But your Dad is cool, too."
"He used to be," Natsume said.
The topic seemed to be getting serious and more personal. But it was not uncomfortable for Natsume since he liked talking about his problems to Mikan. He knew that they could relate with each other since they both had problems with their own father and Natsume knew that Mikan would just understand because she was like that always. Natsume was glad to have Mikan here tonight. He was feeling heavy for the days Mikan was avoiding him but the moment they made up, he felt relief and joy although he would not admit that to her.
"What are we going to watch tonight?" he heard Mikan asked.
"Does it ever matter to you?" he asked, making her pout.
Mikan seemed to get what was Natsume trying to say. "You're right. I only care about the food."
"I had your favorites cooked," he informed and went inside the house again.
Mikan cheered. "For dinner? That's awesome."
Natsume smiled secretly at her reaction even though he already expected it. "Right after that, we'll start the marathon."
"Any movie is fine as long as it is not scary," Mikan said as he followed Natsume's trail.
He turned around to face her and with an evil smirk, he said, "Now, that you mentioned it."
Mikan panicked, regretting that she had to remind her best friend that simple fact. "No, Natsume! Don't even try."
He dismissed her panic by saying, "Yeah, yeah, as if I will listen to you."
With what he said, Mikan found a good retort. "Don't be shy. Admit it. You always listen to me."
"Says who?" he asked, frowning.
"Says the whole world," Mikan answered with a wide smile.
"Whatever," he mumbled.
They finally reached Natsume's room with Mikan stepping first inside. Indeed, Natsume cleaned his room since it looked tidier than usual. Natsume rarely let someone inside his room because he wanted to keep the privacy and with that, the maids were not allowed to enter in his room. His family and Mikan were the only ones who could enter his room. The family thing was a normal one but as for Mikan, it was one of those best friend privileges. In Natsume's big room was a small entertainment area and in there where they would hang out tonight.
Movie Night was not always in Natsume's house. The place was alternating; this month it was in Natsume's and next month was going to be in Mikan's. It could have been awkward for a boy and a girl to be alone in one room especially in their teenage years but it was all normal as long as those boy and girl were the best of friends. Although Mikan loved Natsume, she never considered Movie Night as a romantic thing because she knew better than that and she knew very well that this is one of those moments that she shared with Natsume that was strictly for their friendship only.
They sat on the carpeted floor filled with pillows and Mikan looked around, feeling excited. She felt Natsume sat beside her and she immediately asked, "Do you think ten years from now we can still do this?"
"Why not?" Natsume asked, could not come up with anything that could stop Movie Night from happening.
She faced him. "Won't we be busy by that time?" she asked.
"I'll be busy taking over our business and you'll be busy eating?" Natsume teased.
Mikan quickly defended herself. "No way! I will be working."
"Sure," Natsume continued on teasing.
"Do you want that? To manage your family's business?" asked Mikan in a serious and concerned tone.
Natsume shrugged. "I love drawing but I have to be practical. Besides, Mom had already asked me to do it."
She encircled her arm in his and leaned on his shoulder. "Unbelievably, you are such a good son."
"I'm not. I'm just doing my part. I don't want to wreck this family anymore with having conversations about my future. I'm sick with all the shouting since it is unnecessary."
Mikan looked up to him. "But still, be yourself."
He poked her in the forehead and with a smile, he said, "I will. And you, too."
She released her hold from him. "I want to take up Medicine but that sounds too ambitious," she said uncomfortably, thinking if the genius beside him was the right person to tell it but he was and always will.
Natsume shrugged his shoulders simply. "It is but so what? No one's going to stop you and no one said that wanting to take Medicine has prohibitions."
"I don't think my brain can handle that."
Natsume searched for her eyes and made her look at him. "Medicine? Do you doubt yourself?"
Mikan bit her lip and nodded sadly. "Yeah. I mean, if I can barely get high marks now, how can I even enter into a medical school? How can I even handle the pressure? The thick books? The terms? The procedures and the rationales behind it. Just by thinking of it now makes my head hurt. "
The raven-haired boy understood his best friend's worries but he would not persuade Mikan if she had not had any potential and add to that, a dream would always be a dream, no matter how or when, if you really want it, nothing should stop you. "Grades are just numbers and if you will really work hard, there is no way you cannot get what you want," he advised to her.
Mikan stared at him. "For real?" she asked in disbelief.
"It doesn't apply in everything though," he said, referring to her feelings.
"I know that," Mikan muttered softly.
"I think you'll become a great doctor," Natsume said. "You may have not noticed it but you are good at what you do. Don't let your insecurities drown you."
Mikan was touched at Natsume's support at her dream. Just like her to him, he also always believed in her. He believed at her capabilities, talents, skills, and whatever knowledge she had. Natsume was not the type to insult you to hurt your feelings and for you to realize the truth, he was insulting a person just for humor and he did not mean it in any way. Natsume was the perfect best friend for her. Mikan smiled at him thankfully, thinking all the good things they had been together and his unending support. Moments like this, the genuine support, the overflowing living proof that you were indeed lucky to have a best friend in this lifetime were the very reason why Natsume did not want to accept her love. He was protecting this beautiful friendship.
Calling her love for him selfish was true, somehow. Mikan knew it more than anyone else. She was willing to risk their friendship for her feelings. She was that selfish and yet Natsume called her selfless. As she looked at her best friend now, she knew that someone was waiting for him, someone that loved him and he loved back, and her? Sooner or later, she would be on the sidelines, she could not be able to do what she was doing for a decade. That day would come when Natsume would finally tell her to stop and she was readying big time for that day. She suddenly remembered the timeline-like trail of photos plastered on the wall of her room wherein pictures of her and Natsume since they were little children were posted. In time, she would have to removed it but she just wished that she would remove it because it was time and not because of any other reason.
Many called her lucky to be the Natsume Hyuuga's closest friend. The crimson-eyed guy would sometimes contradict this statement, saying that he was the one lucky to have her. But, if only he could look at her now, he would see how in love she was and how lucky she felt every time they were together.
She nudged him in the side and said, "Your exhibit is fast approaching. You have this Math Competition and you are determined to win. You don't study but you still get high marks. Your club acts like you are their secret weapon, always making you join contests and what is so amazing is that you always win. You are one of the sought-after guys in school even with your snobbish attitude. You are rich, smart, talented, and can do everything. Tell me, do you have some secret?"
If he had any secret, she could have known it long ago. He just smiled at her compliments and answered it, "Don't forget that my family is quite broken and I'm not exactly thrilled about the Math Camp. The exhibit is putting pressure into my life but it's fine, it's normal. Winning is not everything. Sometimes, it's just a rotten title. But doing what you really want to do give you the happiness more than winning any contest could give. The sought-after part is pretty stupid since I don't really care about that. I don't have any secret, Mikan."
"But, admit it, you are gifted."
"Maybe," he said just to annoy her.
Mikan frowned. "So, unfair."
"Live with it," Natsume said proudly.
They heard a knock all of a sudden and Mikan immediately knew what it meant. "Oh, great. Dinner is here." She made her way to the door and grabbed the trays of food from the maid who delivered it. She then excitedly placed it on the little table in front of the television. She quickly commented the moment she removed the covers, "Wow, these look delicious."
"You and your stomach," Natsume said, smiling at her hungry look.
"Stop talking there and let's eat, Natsume!" she exclaimed, taking a bite on the soft bread that was for dessert.
"Silly, little girl as always."
Dinner was fabulous. Mikan was not satisfied with the quantity of food first delivered to Natsume's room so she asked for the maids to give them some more and her wish was commanded straight away. Her tireless mouth and growling stomach were all satisfied. She even ignored Natsume's rude comments at her way and amount of eating. Foods at the Hyuuga household were always delicious maybe because, they only hire people who were experienced at a certain chore like cooking. It always felt like eating in a fancy restaurant. The meat was soft, easy to slice, and savory. The vegetables were well-cooked and well-seasoned. Even the juice was fantastic especially the dessert which Mikan enjoyed the most.
Natsume was satisfied watching his best friend eat in her delight. She might have forgotten about her table manners tonight but Natsume could not care less about it because as long as she was enjoying, he was feeling the same. He tried to steal some of her foods just to annoy her and he seemed to be successful in that part since she tried her best to protect the food against him. He wanted to let out a loud laugh which was so uncharacteristic f him when she did that funny pose while rice and the dish were around her mouth. He even wiped her mouth just to remove the rice spread over it and she just laughed at him. Sometimes, he was like taking care of a small kid.
Mikan could barely stand after that heavy dinner. She was rubbing her stomach, waiting for her burp. She certainly enjoyed the dinner so much and later, there were more foods to come. Oh, joy. The benefits of having a wealthy friend. Natsume was sketching her, smirking at the process maybe because her face was priceless.
"Natsume?" she asked, she could barely speak.
"Hmm?"
"Can I still come into your room? Eat with you, watch you get out from the shower, visit you every weekends and every time I want when you and Nobara become an official couple? Can I still use your computer? Would you still sketch me?" she asked in one go.
Natsume continued on drawing her in her satisfied-stomach glory. "This is the last time we are going to have this discussion," he said seriously, wanting to get rid of Mikan's repetitive doubts.
"Okay."
"Nothing will ever change," he firmly said, his eyes bored to her.
"Okay," Mikan said again.
He took her agreement a positive note and continued. "All your apprehensions clear it all out. It's not like you."
"I will."
"Come on, let's start."
The film they had watched almost ran for two hours.
The movie was not a horror or a suspense one after all. Still, Natsume teased her about being such a scared cat when it comes to being exposed for a little in the dark or being left alone in a large room. The movie was a romantic one with a sloppy ending. There was a boy and a girl who loved each other so much. It was shown in the movie how their feelings developed and how deep was their love. Everything was in place, in other words, perfect until the boy realized the bad effects of being so much in love with a person. They were becoming too possessive, too stubborn, and too jealous and with that he decided to end the relationship. He insisted that it was for the better, for the best, to find their selves again but the girl was too blinded by her love.
They went onto separate ways, lived a life without each other, and learned to survive. They met again with the boy having the same and exact feeling for the girl but unlike him, the girl finally moved on. He tried to become close to her again but sadly nothing happened. Sure, the girl moved on but that did not mean that the feelings were gone, too. She admitted to him that she was still in love with him but sadly, the right time for their love had not come yet and if they could just wait for a little longer, maybe they would find their selves at each other again. In the end, there was no conclusion.
"Now, that's stupid," Mikan paused and went on, "What are they waiting for? They are adult for heaven's sake and the right time was there, at that moment, at those seconds."
"Well, what do you want? For them to force each other to love one another just because they think time is running out?" Natsume asked warily. "They made the right decision and that movie just showed that not every ending is a happy one," he added.
"I know that but still…! Love makes up things, not break them!" she argued.
Natsume rolled his eyes. This always happened after every movie they finished, they argue. "It does not always happen. If it is real love, they will wait."
"If I am the boy, I will never let go of the girl." Mikan declared it with such passion and significance.
"What about development? Growing up would be limited if there are restrictions."
"Like what, pray tell?" she challenged him.
Natsume sighed and started explaining his side for a reason he did not know why. "The people around us, they change. They will go somewhere someday and we could not stop that. We will never grow if we are surrounded by the same group of people every day. Like the boy, do you want the girl to break up to him because of his possessiveness and change of attitude? Of course, not. He prevented it from happening, to save them all from unnecessary heartaches. Giving up something, sometimes, is the greatest kind of bravery."
The brunette was silent after that and started to get sleep so she lay on the couch with Natsume. This could have been an intimate gesture but as friends, it was normal. Her pillow was Natsume's lean shoulder. The only thing illuminating the room was the moonlight. It emphasized Natsume's neat room. She buried her head near his chest and tried to get some sleep. Mikan could not still move on from what Natsume said earlier. She could not decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing to say. She felt his hand on her hair, caressing it.
"Mikan?" she heard him called.
"Yes?" she asked lowly.
"Are you stopping?" he asked like it was a normal thing to question.
She looked up to see him. "Why? You don't want to?" she teasingly asked.
"In your dreams," he said.
"Then, why are you even asking?" Mikan spat lightly.
"Just let me know, if you will."
Mikan wanted to ask why badly but if he was going to answer just for him to be prepared then she did not need to hear it. He sounded like he was waiting for it although he never mentioned about it again until now. Maybe Natsume was getting tired with tolerating her for a decade. He might be waiting for the right time to completely disregard her feelings and have the disclosure.
"Natsume?" she called out.
"What?"
"Why can't you love me?" she asked with sadness. The truth hurt her.
"I don't want to mess up with our friendship," he simply answered.
She clenched her fist and gained her courage to ask the second question. "So, you never felt anything? Even a little?"
Natsume looked down to see her and with a cold tone, he said, "None."
"Honestly?" Mikan asked for confirmation.
He did not answer. There was no definite reply. He just said, "Let's sleep now." Mikan took the reply as an excuse or a tool to avoid the pain on whatever words he was going to say. They had an enjoyable day together in school and now in his home. Of all the Movie Nights they had, tonight was definitely one of the most personal and memorable.
"Okay," she whispered in reply and felt into a deep slumber.
Natsume sensed the light that was coming to his room. He opened his eyes slightly and fluttered it just to confirm if it was really the sunlight. He was in the middle of a good sleep and much to his dismay that he woke up already. Mikan was no already beside him since he could feel it and he could see his best friend right before his face with her angelic smile and enchanting eyes. Mikan seemed to be in such a good mood and he was too lazy to ask himself why since he was still sleepy and could go on with sleeping for another day.
"Good morning," Mikan greeted.
"Morning," he replied, burying the pillow in his face, turning his back.
"Hey, don't go back to sleep!" Mikan yelled at him and made his body turn.
"Leave me alone," he groggily said.
Mikan hit him in the shoulder and started shaking him while saying, "It's Saturday and I think we should go out somewhere."
He pushed her lightly and muttered, "I want to sleep."
She remained standing, hands on waist, and her expression was not very pleased. "Come on, you cannot sleep forever. We can use your car to go somewhere out of town."
"No," he quickly replied.
Mikan groaned and jumped onto Natsume's body which was covered in blankets. She made sure that he could feel her weight and hear her whining. "Natsumeeee! Come on. Won't you grant this little request of mine?" she asked, trying to sound cute.
"Just go by yourself," he said like he could not feel Mikan's weight.
Mikan was laughing and asked, "What kind of best friend would say that?"
He pulled the blanket down up to his neck, revealing his face just to talk some sense to Mikan. "A sleepy one," he answered.
She hit him repeatedly with the pillow while laughing manically. She was doing everything that could annoy Natsume and to make him go with her. The idea just hit her this early morning and since it was a free weekend, the timing was perfect. Next week, everyone would be busy. Natsume would undergo review classes with Jinno and Mikan was sure that that review would take Natsume's time.
"Hey, I just want to see something new. Won't you let me?" she asked again.
"You can see that some other day," he groaned.
She hit him again and said in her sad tone since she was near to being rejected again. "Don't be such a lazy ass. Please? For me?"
Her sweet voice made him convinced that Mikan really did want to go out today. Natsume opened his eyes completely and removed the blanket off his body. He did not say any word when he stood up and he could feel that Mikan was watching him. He looked at her and gave his answer which was, "Fine."
"Yes! Thanks. You're the best."
The drive towards the Hyuugas' rest house wherein the white-sand beach was just a few steps away could take an hour and a half but since it was an early morning and the traffic was not heavy, the trip only took an hour. They just bought their foods on the convenience store they passed by. They had no extra clothes in case they think about swimming. It was all unplanned and the thing they only had was money for the gas and the food. They weren't planning to enter the house since they could just hang out in the sand or inside the car. They had no plans of staying overnight there, too. They agreed to go back when the sun sets since it was one of the reasons why Mikan wanted to go on a beach, to see the sunset.
Natsume offered Mikan soda as he took a seat beside her in the sand. There weren't much people because summer was over months ago and it was still early. The rock formation was their source of shade. Everything was serene as the sound of waves and the feeling of it hugged them. The winds were strong as usual and it was the only thing they could hear when they weren't talking yet. Natsume made sure that his sketchpad was beside him. Mikan suggested that he could take this opportunity to find some things to draw and color them later on. In his recent art works, every subject of it was his best friend and people might think that something more than friendship was happening between them if they did not know better.
"It's nice to be back here," Natsume said, looking at the scenery before him.
"Yeah," Mikan muttered, her chin was resting on her flexed knees. "I'm glad you agreed on coming even though it's unplanned," she added.
"No worries," he assured.
"I suddenly remembered Ruka and Koko," Mikan said out of the blue, smiling at the memory.
"What about them?" Natsume asked, confused on where the topic Ruka and Koko came from.
Mikan shrugged and extended her knees. "They are the kind of friend that you could be thankful forever. I've become closer to them and I just don't know why."
Natsume nodded and informed her, "We always talk about you, you know."
"Really?" Mikan asked, her face was expressing skepticism.
He chuckled in his own manly way and said, "They are your avid fans, by the way."
She pouted and pushed him lightly. "Don't make it sound funny. I'm thankful to them because they support me."
"Koko started all of these. How did you become close to him?" he asked.
Mikan's lips curved up, thinking about the first time she actually had an interaction with Koko. "Well, we talked about you a lot whenever we are assigned to the club assignments together." Her answer was indefinite but somehow it gave Natsume the idea, well, since he was the one who convinced her to join the Publicity Committee.
"Club duties?" he asked, having an idea all of a sudden.
She nodded and explained. "Yes. Like the time when we made the poster for the dance and the calendar for the school's activities for the year. We usually stay late at school to finish those which seemed so responsible of me."
That was it. He knew the answer now but he needed confirmation so he asked still. "Is that why you're there that night?"
Mikan frowned at the sudden mention of that night again. "I thought we've agreed not to talk about it," she said grouchily.
"Koko was there," Natsume stated, hoping he was wrong.
She stared at his eyes for a moment until she broke the gaze and admitted it. "He was," she confirmed.
"I see. That is why he's acting weird. He knows something."
"Koko is a nice guy. You should not think like that about him."
"He's my friend and I'm not thinking badly about him," Natsume assured her.
Natsume could not help but noticed though… the fact that Koko was always there for Mikan. He could be the boy Nobara was waiting for Mikan but somehow, Natsume did not approve the idea. His friend liking his own best friend who happened to like him. That was weird. He was not saying that Koko liked Mikan because maybe it just happened that he was always there whenever Mikan needed someone to hold onto every time he rejected her but thinking about on how it affected Koko, you could easily tell that he cared and not just in a friendly way. He actually comforted Mikan. And now, the idea of Mikan liking another person seemed to be very foreign for Natsume. He knew it could be a good thing but on the back of his mind, he could not help but to feel a little jealousy.
This was what he hated the most. When he could not do what he wanted because he wanted to protect something important.
Mikan's voice was ringing into his ear and she was saying, "I'm kinda glad he was there because if it weren't for him, I would have nothing to lean to."
"You cried in his arms?" he asked and in you could tell that he was annoyed at the fact.
"If you can call it that," Mikan admitted, smiling, unaware of Natsume's unlikely reaction.
"That's awkward," he just said, trying to refrain himself from sounding like a protective boyfriend.
Mikan chuckled, still oblivious. "I know, right? That's why the next day, I apologized to him and gave my gratitude."
"In the form of what?" Natsume inquired.
"Just a kiss in the cheek," she said.
"What?" he asked in surprise, he looked irritated at what he just heard on such a nice day.
Mikan laughed at his reaction. Usually, she could easily sense if Natsume was being jealous or would sometimes tease him about being jealous when in fact, he was not, but this time, it was clear that he was being a little possessive but she could not notice it. "What? Don't look at me like that. It is purely platonic."
"You two seem closer than I think," he commented unhappily.
The brunette nodded at once and said, "Well, he's a great guy. He always listens to me and I'm cool that he is cool about it. He genuinely cares and does not take sides. He doesn't forget that you are his friend, you know. Koko is fun to be with and I like his humorous side since it makes me feel lighter, like everything is simple."
He should not be feeling this. This… jealousy thing. He was supposed to be happy for her and for his friend because they looked like getting along better and better every day. There was no reason for him to feel annoyed or irritated. Sure, she was complimenting Koko. Yeah, she saw Koko as a great guy, a genuine person. Those were true but coming from Mikan, he did not want to hear it. He made a decision a long time ago and he would stick with it but this was one of those times wherein he wanted to thrash that stupid decision out and just let himself be happy and express what he really felt. This was the bad thing of being afraid to risk your friendship for love. You had no right to just be plain happy. He did not know what was happening to him. He made sure that he would never feel this way but, damn.
To clear his mind, he reminded himself that Mikan was his best friend, Nobara was the girl he liked, and Koko was his good friend.
"It's still early. What do you want to do?" he asked.
"I can sit here all day and just talk to you," she said with her signature smile.
"I could never solve you," Natsume said with a smile. What Mikan said indeed put a smile on his face.
Her eyebrows almost met. "What?" she asked.
"If you happen to be a Math problem," Natsume said, smirking.
"Should I be happy with that statement or not?" Mikan asked, placing a frustrated expression.
He simply shrugged and answered indefinitely. "It's entirely up to you," he said.
"Explain," Mikan commanded.
"Just when I thought I know everything about you, you show this other side of you which is better."
She eyed him when he said that statement. He was saying indirectly that she was spontaneous in a good way. "I'm always me. How about you?" she asked childishly.
"I will always be me." Natsume said it like it was a promise, like a vow. He said it to assure Mikan that nothing will ever change. Why would he? He was him and no one could tell him what to do besides himself. But looking at Mikan's reaction, he could tell that she had not believed fully in him.
"So, what side of me is better this time?" she asked, somehow changing the topic.
Natsume's lips curved up and said, "You mean sides since it's many. Well, you seemed more mature, understanding, and your kindness that's always there never fades."
The art of letting go. Mikan swallowed, feeling heartbroken again, just by thinking about it. She would really need to be mature and understanding if she would let him go. The real funny thing was Natsume was never hers, but they used words like letting go as if they became a couple. It was like that since their relationship was one of a kind. She was willing to love him more than anything else, to care for him for life, to become his best friend and at the same time his most special person, she would do anything and everything for him, she could be there for him no matter what, she could be his and he could be hers, she would be everything that he needed and wanted. But she could not and she was slowly accepting that. You could not really force someone to love you back because living someone was not an obligation, it was a feeling.
"I've told you about us making the calendar for this school year, right?" she asked, smiling but her voice seemed to be struggling.
"You did," Natsume answered, turning his head to her.
Mikan smiled widely, regained her happy aura from before, and cheered. "We are going to have an Org Ball. Yes!"
"It's an annual thing," Natsume said without any hint of excitement at all. Since he joined the Arts Club, he attended the Organization Ball not because he wanted to but because they had to. Everyone who belonged to a committee should be present in that party since they would meet with the officials of Alice Academy and would recognize their works for the year. The officials would thank them for being active students and for bringing victories for the school and then the dance will commence.
"But this year, it's going to be different. I heard it's going to be like a Team Building but the main event is still the ball," Mikan explained, unlike Natsume, she was very excited. She always wondered what they do on this exclusive dance.
"So, we're going outside the school?" Natsume asked, the idea seemed to appeal to him.
"Probably."
"I just hope it's going to be fun this year."
"Another thing," Mikan chirped.
"What?"
"We're having an educational trip," she informed excitedly again.
Natsume smirked and sarcastically asked, "Are we still studying?"
"You can't blame Alice Academy," Mikan commented.
"As if I can," Natsume muttered.
"Can we be seatmates in the bus when we will have our tour?" she asked for his permission.
He chuckled at her childish question. "Sure. Seriously, you don't even need to ask me that."
"But I'm worried Nobara would take the spot already."
Natsume was caught off-guard by her reason. "She's not like that," he said.
"Sorry if I made it sound like she's taking you away from me," she mumbled, her head down.
"She's not," he assured her again.
Mikan nodded and went back to staring the scenery before her. "This is beautiful," she praised.
"Yeah. It is beautiful."
"Great news!" Anna's voice echoed on Mikan's ear.
"The annual Org Ball is here and we'll have a trip!" Nonoko added, turning around in glee.
Mikan found the reactions of the two girls over the top and so she just said, "Uh, yes."
Anna shook Mikan by holding her two arms. "What is amazing is that the all new Org Ball. According to the poster, it's three weeks from now and will be held on one of the Board of Trustees' resort. We'll stay there for three days and each club will get to interact with other clubs and experience what other clubs are doing."
"Sounds fun," Mikan exclaimed, trying to sound as excited as them. When she thought she was already so excited, she could not top Anna and Nonoko's enthusiasm.
"I can't wait!" Nonoko yelled.
Anna nodded at Nonoko and said, "Me too."
Hotaru was just rolling her eyes all throughout. Her friends had low standards when it comes on what makes them happy. "Don't be too excited. Your voices are annoying." Hotaru said it in her monotonous voice and this somehow made her friends calm down.
"Hey, guys."
The three girls turned around and greeted a, "Hello, Ruka."
"Seems like you saw the post," Ruka said.
Nonoko nodded and said, "We did."
"Wait, since when did you guys start talking?" asked Mikan who was surprised to see her friends talking to Ruka.
Anna patted Mikan's shoulder and gave Ruka and Nonoko a knowing look. "Oh, Mikan. We have been always talking. We are all members of the Academic Committee."
"For real?" Mikan asked in disbelief.
"Why would we ever lie to you?" Nonoko answered.
Mikan's jaw dropped. She could not remember a day when Anna and Nonoko talked to Ruka and vice versa but what was really surprising was that Hotaru did not seem to mind. "But… how did that happen?" she asked again.
"Doesn't really matter," Anna answered, smiling and added, "Listen, we have to go. Math Class will start in five minutes. Bye!"
"Bye!" Ruka waved at the two girls.
Hotaru went in front of Mikan and said to her, "I have to go, too." She did not even wait for the brunette to reply and just walked away.
"Hey, guys!" Koko greeted them with his somehow loud voice.
"Koko," greeted Mikan.
Ruka patted his pal on the shoulder and gave him a, "Hey, Koko."
Koko gave a troubled expression and started ranting at Mikan. "Natsume hit my head this morning. I just teased him about you and he dancing on the Org Ball and he went smacking me. I asked him what seems to be the problem, in any way, everything will be platonic though it's not, and he just smacked my head again harder. I demand an apology but knowing Natsume, he would never do it for a million years."
"That's ridiculous," Mikan mumbled.
Ruka gave out a chuckled and said, "That is funny."
Koko frowned at him. "No way. It hurts."
"You guys must have made up already," Ruka said, turning to Mikan.
Mikan nodded and answered, "We did."
Ruka shrugged, not surprised at all. "Figures. Usually, when he's in a bad mood, Natsume just ignores Koko."
Koko just got the idea. No wonder Natsume was back to being the sadistic boy he was, it was because he was talking again with Mikan. Well, four days of silent treatment was indeed torture. "Great! You two are talking again?"
Mikan laughed and said, "That's what I confirmed, right?"
"Cool. No wonder he has this good aura surrounding him."
The brunette rolled her eyes and acted like she was grateful about it. "And I'm the reason. Great."
Koko stared at her with seriousness on his face. "Yes. But, really, seriously, you are the reason."
Mikan snorted at playfully slapped Koko's cheeks with both hands and began shaking his head. "As much as I could be happy hearing that, I can't because he does not love me."
"Did he say that?" Koko asked, his expression was still the same.
"Say what?" Mikan asked.
"Koko," Ruka warned from behind.
"That he does not love you? Did he say those exact words?" Koko continued.
Mikan removed her hands from his face and stepped back a little. "Well, yes… no? I don't know?"
"I knew it," Koko said.
"Knew what?"
He shook his head and pushed Mikan. "Nothing. You should go to your next class."
Mikan frowned at him and said unhappily, "Fine. Be that way."
"See you around, Mikan!"
The room was very conducive to learning and Nobara was enjoying every second of answering these Math problems even though it was the leading cause of headache to some students. They were requested to be discharged from the class an hour before and to stay two hours more. Three hours of review everyday was not enough especially that the competition was just a week away but Nobara and Natsume could manage. In competitions, if the preparation was not well, the outcome might not be satisfying.
Jinno glanced at the wall clock behind him and coughed to get the attention of his students. "That's it for our review today. Study your lessons at home."
Natsume and Nobara stood up quietly and prepared their things.
"Goodbye then," Jinno said and went first.
"I'm impressed at your speed answering those problems," Nobara complimented as they started walking on the hallway which was still lighted up.
"They're not exactly unanswerable," Natsume answered.
"But, still… you're great. I think we might actually win this."
"We will win. No doubt."
"Thank you, Natsume."
"For what?"
Nobara smiled, thinking that her partner was not only good at drawing but in everything. "For the effort. For the time. For being determined to win this. I know you are just joining the competition for my scholarship and I could never thank you enough for that."
"You don't have to thank me."
Nobara held his hand which surprised Natsume a bit. She gave him a big smile and said, "We should eat dinner together. As in now."
Natsume thought that this was the first time he would be having dinner with Nobara and the idea appealed to him so much that he quickly agreed. It was going to be nice, he guessed. "If you insist," he said.
They just chose a fast food chain to eat their dinner. Nobara was the one who always open the topic to be discussed just like Mikan. They usually talked about drawing, painting, colors, what kind of school would they meet on the upcoming contest, and many more. Natsume considered this dinner as a step up to know Nobara deeper. He found her fun to be with, the girl with lots of stories, very practical, matured, and open-minded. Natsume could easily tell she was genuinely kind since every story of hers indirectly tell that she was a good-hearted girl.
"My dad is pretty excited for the Math Camp. More excited than me."
"He's a proud dad then," Natsume said it to tease her.
Nobara smiled proudly at him for play and said mockingly, "I know and I love him for that."
"You are such a daddy's girl."
Nobara sipped at her drink and stared at nowhere. "Well, since my Mom is the one always working, Dad took care of us. He likes drawing, too."
"You have such supportive parents," Natsume said it while trying not to be jealous. He wanted to pursue painting but he could not do it successfully if his own parents do not agree to him.
"How about yours?" Nobara asked.
He was not that comfortable telling about his parents but opening up to Nobara was not such a bad idea. "My Dad is always busy and so does my Mom. We barely see each other. My sister has her own life and rarely visits home so basically, I spend my time with Mikan."
"So, money does not really do the trick?" she asked for confirmation.
"No. Life is not about money after all."
Nobara nodded and asked, "Anything that I have to know about you?"
"What do you want to know that you already know?" he asked teasingly.
Nobara placed her two hands under her chin and began to think on the things she wanted to know about Natsume, things that only a number of people knew about him. "Any allergies?" she asked since it was the first thing that came into her mind.
"Cheese," he answered briefly, thinking that there was no need to elaborate.
She placed a playful frown and teased him by saying, "That's just sad."
"I get that a lot," Natsume answered, smiling at himself, thinking of the times Mikan teased him for his allergy.
"Good for me, I don't have any allergies." She bragged it to tease him more and it seemed effective because he frowned at her which made her chuckle. Nobara was extremely glad that she invited Natsume to have dinner and talk about anything since she always had limited time with him at school and they could not exactly go out on weekends because they were busy with their own commitments. "It's nice talking to you," she said with all sincerity. She looked at him in the eye and as if sparks flew when he was looking back.
"Do I surprise you?" Natsume asked in his handsome smirk and gorgeous voice.
Nobara rolled her eyes and retorted, "Ha. Ha."
"Nice comeback," Natsume mocked.
"I'm looking forward on winning with you," she said all of a sudden. The topic about the competition died several minutes ago so Natsume did not expect her to say that with all seriousness. She said it not because of the scholarship and the recognition she could get from winning but because she honestly wanted to win with him. Winning with Natsume might be the only thing Mikan could not take away from her; it could serve as a single memory for Natsume and for her. She wanted to impress him by using her abilities and she would do that now.
"Same here," he said it in a way that made her heart skip a beat.
On that night, she decided to never let go of him.
Mikan knocked on his door three times and turned around making her back face the person who will open the door by any chance. She was holding a small paper bag and inside it was a small bookmark with a chain that was for good luck. Mikan saw it on a bookshop downtown that sells books about Math and Science only, two of her least favorite subjects. She specifically went there to find something to give to Natsume as a sign of support and now she was in front of his door, just waiting for him to open it. She barely saw him this week since he was too busy with all the reviews and preparation and add to that, Nobara was always at his side and she did not want to pry. Mikan wanted to meet Nobara formally the same time Natsume will introduce her to them.
She heard the knob turned and within a second, she saw Natsume again. She missed him, really. If she could only tell him that, she would. She wanted to tell him a lot of things even though those were not really important but if that would take to talk to him longer, she would do it. After tonight, she would not be able to see him for a week and by now she was already missing him. How exaggerated of her to feel this way when Natsume was just going to some camp. She was feeling like she was never going to him again.
"Hey, Natsume." She greeted with her usual cheery voice, excitement was evident in her tone since inside, she was really feeling excited.
"What do you need?" he asked.
She frowned at his question but he quickly took the rude question back by messing with her hair; with that, Mikan continued saying what she need to voice out. "I just came here… to give you this!" she said and stretched her arms to give her gift.
Natsume tried to peek on what was inside the bag and asked, "What's this?"
"A good luck gift."
"Thanks."
She nodded and took a deep breath. "Win not because you are obliged to but because you know that winning will make you happy and will make the person that you want to be happy, happy."
"Will it make you happy if I'll win?" he asked.
Mikan rolled her eyes and hit him in the chest. "Of course! Do you even need to ask that?"
Natsume smiled at her, thinking how sweet of Mikan to do such thing. "Then, I'll win for you, too."
Mikan smiled back and said with superiority, "Don't forget to win for you, too."
"That too," he said, agreeing to her.
"Do your best, Natsume."
"No worries."
Mikan hugged him tightly, feeling the contact between them. "Good luck," she said, her voice fading and she did not know why she was getting so emotional. Maybe because she really missed Natsume and she had many things to tell him. Sometimes, when they hugged, Mikan would not want to let go anymore, afraid that when she would look at his face, it will just show another platonic smile followed with platonic words due to the platonic action that was never friend-zoned for her.
Natsume hugged her back, meaning to ask Mikan what was happening to her but as for now, he wanted to enjoy the hug. "Thanks," he mumbled.
She was the one who broke the contact. "Goodnight."
"Night."
"See you in a week," she quickly added.
"That's utterly long," he realized, frowning at the length of time they won't be seeing each other.
Mikan smirked at him and said, "Come on, you can live. Goodbye again."
She had not made even a single step when he grabbed her hand. That action made Mikan turn to him and he could already feel the tremendous feeling of longing the moment he saw her eyes. He wanted to tell her that she better focus on studying, to do some cooking to kill time, and to spend time with her other friends but all he said was, "See you, Mikan."
"I'll miss you," she said, biting her lip.
Natsume grinned at her and this time he was the one who hugged her. The very reason why she was here was just to say that she will miss him and now that she said it, he better say what was he feeling inside, too. They were never separated longer than five days in their sixteen years of existence and it was so natural for them to act this way because they were always together. Mikan was not the only one feeling frustrated about this very short separation, Natsume was feeling the same. So he hugged her tighter and when he felt her arms on her back, he just said, "You got me there. I'll miss you, too."
End of Chapter
Thank you for the song suggestions jesse, Annie and ageha obsessed.
I was reading a story that is really cute but I found some parts of it sad and had the urge to cry. God, I think I'm sad. Oh well, our short vacation is here and that means… you know. So, we're halfway of the story. I usually add some spice after the tenth chapter. Drama will come and so will happy moments. I have lots of things on my tiny, little notebook and I'm excited to type it down. I'm also glad that you guys enjoyed the previous chapter. I hope you had enjoyed this one, too, since I had so much fun writing it. I wish you felt the same.