We're out by the car preparing to leave. It's early Sunday afternoon and the sun is shining. A beautiful Spring day. I watch as Harry retrieves one wine bottle from the bag he's holding. I recognize the bottle. It's the vineyard's own wine.
"A gift," he says and Edward accepts.
"Thank you," he smiles.
They do that manly kind of hug where they only do it halfway and halfheartedly and then Harry turns to me and I give him a real hug.
"Thank you so much for this weekend," I tell him.
"Did you two have a nice time?" he asks.
I blush slightly.
"Yes," I answer.
"We did," Edward agrees.
Harry smiles back at us.
"You two, you are just the sweetest couple and you sure look relaxed. A weekend out here, it always does you good I think."
Yes, it does Harry. It really does.
"I'll be sure to tell Mr. Black you enjoyed your stay," he says.
I smile widely.
"Oh, we'll tell him ourselves. We're going to be seeing him real soon."
I don't know what Harry would tell Jacob Black, but it wouldn't look very good if he spoke of as the married couple who got the honeymoon suite.
We say goodbye to Harry and get in the car.
The radio's on and I'm looking out the window. I don't know what Edward's thinking but I'm replaying last night in my head over and over again. The car starts moving. Edward's eyes are on the road and mine are... What am I looking at? I don't have any clue. I'm simply not here. My mind is on last night.
Pressing my naked body against his in the shower... I close my eyes briefly thinking of this. Oh that feeling of holding someone else. I don't think I realized until last night how much I'd missed it. To be close to someone. And then the moment when he turned around and looked down on me, not a hint of a smile on his face. I shiver thinking back on it. I was so turned on I was shaking. He lifted me up, pressing me against the wall.
I bite my lip and look out the window with a sound that's not a sigh and not a groan but something inbetween.
"You don't like this music? I can switch channels if you want," Edward says.
I look at him. What is he talking about?
"No, it's uhm... It's fine."
I clear my throat.
"I just got a headache, that's all," I lie.
Get it together and don't make any weird noises or sounds, I tell myself, but it's hard. Last night is still very fresh in my mind. I cross my legs tightly and focus on looking out the window again.
When have I ever felt like that before? I can't remember. Have I ever felt like that before? He treated me like a goddess. No part of my body went unattended or unworshipped. He didn't say much which is new for me. James is a talker. He always told me exactly what he was planning to do to me and how he would go about it. At first I found it exciting that he was so verbal, but as the years passed and he kept talking I fantasized that he would try something new or crudely put: to shut up and just give it to me. One time on his birthday I selfishly decided to give a present to myself. I gagged him and tied him down. He enjoyed that and so did I.
In fact that was probably our best time together.
Still it had nothing on my night with Edward.
He did his talking in actions and... well let's just say, he gave it to me. He really did. First time in the shower and the second in bed. He was in charge both times. I wonder if that's his thing. Probably. Somehow it makes sense. He doesn't want to be tied down in a relationship. Why would he want to get tied down in bed? But after last night I have all of these wild sexual fantasies of being completely in charge over Edward. I suspect it also has something to do with the fact that he can be such a smart ass and a tease and I just want to put him in his place in a very delicious way. I want to stop this car and push him all the way to the backseat. I want to tie his hands and be on top.
Okay, so now I'm squirming in my seat. God Edward what have you done? And will you do it again? You've awoken some kind of beast!
He's got his sunshades on now looking as cool as ever and I wonder if he's really that cool underneath it all. After a while we start talking. We talk about the Newman Project and I feel like we're okay. Nothing's weird between us. We don't talk about the fact that we had the hottest shower-sex ever which is the only thing that's on my mind. In fact I'm starting to feel a little down. Edward's probably not thinking about last night at all. He seems completely at ease.
He drops me off at my apartment. We embrace quickly in a way that's perfectly fine between working colleagues/friends. I'm slightly disappointed that he doesn't even linger slightly in our embrace.
"So thanks for the weekend. I had a great time," I say lightly, but all I'm thinking about is sex.
"Me too," he says equally as lightly.
I turn around and so does he.
My heart's thumping wildly in my chest. What does this mean? Does it mean anything? Have I completely ruined the thing, the banter and that playful tension Edward and I have? Will he ignore me?
I open the door to my apartment. It's quiet and I'm left with my doubts.
Suddenly I don't know if we did the right thing or not.
One thing is certain. My moral compass is destroyed. Completely gone. It was blown into pieces in a fierce explosion and every other parable I can think of.
It's official. Tomorrow I'm going to work, but come rapture day? I'm going to be left behind!