For You I Would: Chapter 10: In The Rough

By Mira Ruskin

Notes: Feh. Comma friendly. This chapter has too many commas and I'm not going to do a damn thing about it. And you know what? I realized that I never spell checked or proofread the last chapter, and for that I offer you my sincerest apology. I'm sorie you had to read through a jumble of letters and misused punctuation. It won't happen again. Anyway, enjoy this chapter at least.

Riku stood at the door. His gloved hand was tentatively resting on the doorknob that lead back to Twilight Town. His gaze was cast downward, staring at his boots. He had seen Naj. He had been with her, talked to her, brushed shoulders with her. And now he was leaving? How was he doing this? After all his searching, and all his pain, he was about to walk out on what he needed most.

He had to remind himself. That was not Naj. That was Xajiln. His Naj was inside of Xajiln, hidden somewhere. All he had done was hinted at things that may help Xajiln realize who she really was. Riku sighed, and leaned his head back. Could he walk out? What would he do afterward? Where would he go? For the longest time, all he could remember was searching for Naj, digging up dirt on the Organization, finding little tidbits here and there to see if he could find where Naj may be. He had done that. But now what?

His hand trembled slightly as he turned the knob. He had to do this. He couldn't run back to her and tell her everything. She had to find out who she was by herself. Part of him wanted to say "Screw Demyx!" and rush back to her, hold her in his arms, tell her everything. The other part of him, the part present now, knew that Demyx was right in the sense that if she got her memory back, the Organization would have another minor setback in getting Kingdom Hearts. Naj would still be incomplete.

Riku shook his head, and returned his gaze to his shoes. The doorknob would turn no further. Now all he had to do was push the door open and walk out. Suddenly, he heard a shout. A female's voice rang out from upstairs. Riku snapped to attention.

"Naj!" he heard himself gasp. He spun around, and went to dash upstairs. Unfortunately three bodies blocked him. He ran right into a tall, wide, muscular man with no facial expression whatsoever. His hair seemed tousled, as if he didn't spend much time on it. It was a peachy cinnamon color. His jaw-line was squared, the corners of his mouth turned slightly downward. The closest word Riku could find to describe him was "beast". The well-built man reached up and landed a vice-like grip on Riku's upper arm as Riku tried to back away.

Demyx was standing with his arms crossed over his chest. The look on his face reeked of defiance and resentment, yet laced with a poignant disappointment. Namine stood next to, slightly behind, Demyx. She was clutching onto his sleeve like a child. Demyx looked up to the muscular man, and back down at Riku. His eyes held something different now, something that spiked a little fear into Riku. He was more serious, more like the Nobody he truly was: a hollow person existing as merely the body and soul of someone who lost their heart to the darkness.

"This is Lexaeus. He's here in case you decide to make any more errors," Demyx said, his eyes boring into Riku's. Riku could no longer feel his fingers due to Lexaeus' death-grip. He winced slightly, and was glad when Demyx nodded to the beast. He let go of Riku's arm with what Riku could have sworn was a growl.

"You have much darkness in you," the brute said. Riku looked up to him, narrowing his eyes. "You should open yourself up to that power." Riku scoffed at Lexaeus, and looked back at Demyx whom was also narrowing his eyes.

"What did you tell her?" Demyx asked, not beating around the bush as he had when informing Riku of Najilia's conditions.

"Nothing," Riku said. The two boys were staring at each other, gauging the truth between them. They had somewhat of an understanding of each other, but with that came an odd sense of betrayal. After all, Demyx was a Nobody. He got close to people pretending to be like them.

"That's a lie. You talked to her."

"Yeah, but I didn't tell her anything."

"Did you answer any questions she may have asked you?"

"No, she answered her own questions."

"Did you hint at things?"

Riku paused. Of course he had hinted at things. He wanted to find the loophole, and he had. He tried to think if there was a way to get around Demyx's question.

"Did you!" Demyx yelled, causing Riku to jump slightly. He found himself nodding. A muscle in Demyx's jaw twitched, and it was obvious he was gritting his teeth. Namine closed her eyes, shaking her head. When she opened them, her bright blue eyes were narrowed and staring at Riku.

"Riku, we trusted you," she whispered, leaning forward.

"We had a deal," Demyx growled.

"What deal?" Riku snapped, hearing a loud thud upstairs. This was not good. He needed to be there, not here getting grilled when he didn't even care. He had done nothing wrong, just helped Naj find out who she truly was. They couldn't have honestly thought he wouldn't slip up, and Naj would gain part of her memory back.

"From what I heard up there," Demyx started, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder and upstairs, "She's got her entire memory back. How the hell did you manage that?"

Riku's eyes widened. She knew everything? Then why was he leaving? He had to get her! Riku made a run for it, pushing through Namine and Demyx. Namine shrieked a little, not expecting the sudden movement. Lexaeus was way ahead of Riku. He leaped, despite his size, in front of Riku, slamming down onto the floor. Riku had planned for the brute to do this, and before Lexaeus knew what had happened Riku had dropped to the floor and slid between his legs. Now he was running full force up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

Lexaeus let out a growl, and went to storm after Riku, but Demyx placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Demyx shook his head, "Let him go. Xemnas is up there." Lexaeus paused a moment, weighing his choices, then finally nodded at Demyx and blundered off down the hallway.

Namine slowly walked toward Demyx, "You think we did the right thing?" she asked. Demyx sighed, re-crossing his arms over his chest. He shook his head slowly from side to side.

"I don't know," Demyx said, nervously biting his lip. "I wish-" Demyx paused, unable to find his words. No matter, Namine finished for him.

"I wish he didn't have all this weight on his shoulders."

"Yeah, I wish he didn't hate us. He would have made a wonderful member."

Namine threw Demyx a disgusted look, "Not you too! Ugh, You know, light doesn't blind you at all, it helps you see," she scoffed, turning and walking to her room. Demyx turned his gaze to the stairs. He was still chewing his lip. He had come to like Riku, to respect him. Now that thread of trust had been broken, but the bar of respect had thickened. Riku was a determined soul. He was full of darkness, but still had an aura of light about him.

Riku was standing outside the door to Xemnas' office. He heard someone yell, "Shut up!" He knew that voice. That was Naj, and she was angry. Without a second of hesitation he burst into the room.

Axel sat with his back against the wall; head leaned back as well, tilted at an odd angle. It was forced. With his eyes, the Flurry of Dancing Flames looked over at Riku. Axel dared not moved his head, for the point of the Soul Blade wasn't even an inch from his jugular. He grinned wickedly.

Standing above him was Najilia. Riku turned his gaze to her. She hadn't heard him come in. Her eyes held the same determination as Riku's. It was frightening. He could almost see himself in her eyes, and it scared him. He didn't want her going through what he had, but hadn't she already? Hadn't she gone through more? Worse?

Below that wall of determination, however, he sensed something more. There was a mix of feelings, all including fear, betrayal, sorrow, and contempt. Riku felt a stone in his stomach. This was his Naj, but she had changed. Both of them had lost their innocence.

"Axel, you're a son of a bitch," she whispered, raising her blade above her, preparing to bring it arching down onto the mascot of her pain. Riku watched in shock. There was no hesitation in her eyes, nothing there but ice. He couldn't let her do this. He couldn't let her live with a sense of regret he knew she'd feel if she ever got her heart back. Axel let out a chuckle, he had seen the sense of shock on Riku's face.

"Naj!" Riku yelled, right before she brought the blade down. Her eyes widened, and she turned to face him immediately. Riku could see it in her eyes, she did know who he was. She did remember. A smile passed over her lips.

Then, as if in slow motion, Riku found his voice gone. A scream of warning was trapped in his throat. He watched in horror as Axel took his chance. He quickly crossed his chakram and uncrossed them across Najilia's abdomen. She cried out in pain, her hands immediately dropping her weapon and desperately trying to apply enough pressure to the wound that was leaking blood faster than any wound she'd ever sustained. She blinked, and stared at the ever-widening circle of blood that pooled at her feet.

Riku let out a cry of abhorrence toward Axel, and called his weapon to his palm. He lunged at Axel, with nothing less that the intent to kill. Axel was cackling, he'd never really lost a fight. He called a portal behind him, and disappeared into it quicker than Riku could reach him. Riku's weapon slid into the wall with force that accompanied the anger in his heart that had grown yet again. He turned quickly, watching Naj through pained eyes.

There was blood all over the floor. Riku was surprised that she was still standing after losing that much. He was breathing heavily, paralyzed with fear. Najilia's eyelids fluttered. She felt unconsciousness looming. She started losing her balance, and fell backward into two strong arms.

Riku stared, with wide eyes as Xemnas caught her. He lifted her gracefully, with an air of power, into his arms as if he were holding a child. His one arm rested under the backs of her knees, the other supporting her shoulders. Riku was still paralyzed with fear. Xemnas was a terrible man, with no emotion. There was no telling what he would do with Najilia, or Riku for that matter. Riku didn't fear much, except the loss of Najilia and Xemnas himself. Now he here was, facing both.

Xemnas was looking at Riku, but soon turned his gaze upon Najilia's face. It was twisted in pain, and a droplet of blood had formed where she had been biting her lip in hopes of the pain ebbing away. No such luck. She could feel the blood oozing from her abdomen, as she began to feel lighter. Her fists slowly unclenched, and she became less aware of her surroundings. Xemnas looked up at Riku.

"She'd dying," he said, his voice hollow and low as if it were some petty observation. Tears trailed down Riku's cheeks. He still couldn't move. Riku began to think that perhaps Xemnas had something to do with his immobility.

"I'm going to give you a choice, because Najilia was a key member in my Organization," Xemnas said as if he were making a business proposition, "But not key enough that I'd care if she died, right here in my arms." Riku wouldn't take his eyes off Naj, though he knew Xemnas was staring at him.

"Well?" Xemnas asked.

"What's the deal?" Riku said, urgency in his voice.

"I'll leave you two alone, so all she sees in her last moments is you," Xemnas said. Riku looked up to him. This wasn't right. Naj couldn't truly be dying!

"Or-" Xemnas continued, "I'll save her."

"Please! Help her!" Riku cried, an even sharper tone of urgency in his voice.

"On one condition."

"What? What condition?"

You leave this place, and I get her memory erased. Again."

Riku was shocked. His Naj lay dying in his enemy's arms, and now Riku had the final say? Riku had the chance to choose her destiny.

"Either she dies with you, or lives without you," Xemnas reminded him. Najilia's head lolled back, as her last bit of strength left her. Xemnas looked down at her, seemingly curious yet uncaring. "You don't have much time left, Riku. Decide now."

It was anything but an easy decision. All Riku wanted to do was hold her in his arms, but then she would be dead. He wanted her to be alive. Being alone in this world was hell, but if she remained alive without him, wouldn't that leave him alone? Riku realized what Xemnas was doing. Xemnas had set it up so Riku would prove whether he was selfish or not.

If he were, he would take Naj in his arms and tell her everything would be all right, when in truth she would be lifeless in moments. If he were not selfish, and was ready to take responsibility, he would suck it up and walk away. He would walk away from what he valued most in life, just as he had almost done earlier.

"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." -Oscar Wilde