Chapter 10: Just do it?
Clary POV:
I felt heavy with water as I trudged back to Rivendell, about half an hour after the rain had stopped. Everyone would be at dinner by now, probably wondering where I was or what in the world could possibly have meant more than going to dinner and staying dry and warm.
Whilst praying to Mahal, I had pondered what I felt towards the Dwarves and why I would stay here. I then wondered what would happen if I didn't stay, and I think that scared me more. Gandalf was sat with his pipe where the company had been earlier, he smiled at me and then frowned when he saw my dress sticking to me like a second skin.
"What on earth has happened?" He asked, I shook my head and smiled weakly.
"Nothing, I was just... Thinking." I answered weakly, shivering delicately, which he noticed. "Would it be any trouble for you to gather the company in the dining area when they're ready? Perhaps Lord Elrond and Lady Galadriel and my dad as well." The Wizard nodded and left to gather the requested people. I, however, went to have a bath and warm myself up.
Everyone was in the dining hall waiting for me, I glanced at the frowning Thorin and then the smiling Elves and Wizard before standing in the middle of all of them, Dad coming in, late as usual.
I turned to look at Lord Elrond, whose grey eyes seemed to already know what I was going to say and do.
"This morning, you asked me where I had come from and I told you the truth, you then gave me this." I removed the vial from my pocket and held it for everyone to see. "You said it would take me home." He nodded, I then nodded and turned to my father. "You told me to accept this offer and follow you home to live normally and boringly." He nodded. "Well, I don't want normal or boring Dad, I want exciting and new." Thorin shifted his weight as he took in the information I gave, his nephews looked concerned and ready for my conclusion. I knew this because I was looking at them. "For close to two months I have travelled amongst these Dwarves and I have to say, I feel more alive than ever." Dad scoffed.
"That's saying something." He snorted, I looked at him over my shoulder.
"Excuse me?" I said shortly, he scoffed.
"Don't act like you don't already know... You really don't know?" I shook my head. "I buried you the morning I came here. That train accident killed you Clarisse, you've been dead for nearly three months my girl." He was gleeful about this, smiling happily as he told those lies.
"Lies." Fili hissed, Gandalf shook his head.
"I'm afraid I have also suspected as much Master Fili, the coldness, the stiff, numb legs. It seems that the effects of dying are catching up with you Miss Reynolds." He said.
"My girl, your death was by far the best thing that's happened to you in a long time... Best thing to me as well really, Chuck and I didn't have to worry about your feelings anymore... Not that we really cared to begin with."
"You're a poisonous bitch Dad." I spat, eyes welling with tears.
"So I am, I wondered where you got it from." He sneered, in seconds he was pinned to the ground by Gloin, who was spitting what I could only hope was death threats in Khuzdul. Fili's hands were on my shoulders, as I shivered again, he was as hot as a furnace and I basked in his heat for as long as I could. I closed my eyes and leaned back into him, his strong chest against my back comfortingly, each of his breaths calmed me into a mushy, love struck teenager but God I loved it.
"What is your answer Lady Reynolds?" Elrond asked.
"Lady Galadriel told me to seek one person's council." I opened my eyes and looked into Fili's blue ones, searching for the answer I needed and receiving it. The vial felt like a niggling doubt in the back of my mind as I focused in this Dwarf in front of me. "I know." I said out loud, more to myself than to anyone else.
With a deep breath. I took Fili's hand and squeezed it before stepping forward and placed my other hand on Gloin's shoulder, removing him from my father. I crouched down and started directly into his brown eyes, swallowing thickly and feeling tears overflowing.
"You're my father and somehow I love you... But I don't need or want you here." I whispered, his expression didn't change. "You are the human equivalent of Uncle Andrew and I Diggory." I added, placing the vial to his lips. "I want you to go home." He took the liquid and swallowed it. "And I don't ever want to see you again. You will never see me getting married, you will never see your grandchildren and I will never see you again." My voice broke as he began to disappear. "I love you daddy." I whispered, hugging him tightly, feeling the empty space when he was gone.
"Clary?" Fili said softly, crouching beside me as I broke down. "I'll take you back to your room." I nodded and clung to him as I cried. "I won't leave you tonight." He promised, pushing open my door and closing it behind us, sitting beside me on the bed.
"Have I done the right thing?" I asked, hearing no reply Fili rubbed my back and tried to soothe me. "I'm turning Twenty-nine in four days and I'm falling for a man that may not even like me."
"I'm sure he does." Fili replied, I worried that he was tired of the crying and so tried to suck it up and stop. "If you need to cry then let it out. What kind of a husband will I be if I cannot deal with my wife crying because she hurts?" He added gently, I felt fresh tears at the memory of the story's end.
"What kind of a woman would you marry?" I asked, trying to distract myself and get it together. Fili snorted and then laughed.
"Someone different to the Dwarrow I have met in my years, someone smart and funny and someone who knew how to fight." He listed.
"Well... I enjoy being quiet, long walks on the beach and pranking people." There was a silence, a comfortable one mind you.
"She would have to be able to put up with Kili because I will never leave my brother, there would have to be a tolerance of Uncle because he will be King and no wife of mine would ever be allowed to disrespect my mother." Another silence passed as I slumped into the Dwarf's shoulder, relaxing and wiping away my tears, face sore from the episode.
"I can't cook."
"Neither can I."
"I don't look good in a dress."
"Wouldn't mater, I look rather fetching in a dress."
"I love to dance and sing."
"Both are traditionally taught to Prince's by their mothers, I am skilled in both and play an instrument."
"I sleep on the left side on the bed." I was beginning now to notice our faces had been moving closer together in our competition, I grinned toothily at the Golden Prince as he shook his head and frowned playfully.
"Now that would be a problem, the left side is mine."
"I'm sure we could come to an agreement."
"As am I, but the left side is mine." Fili teased, I looked down at the bed and smirked.
"I'm on the left side of a bed right now... Fight me for it." I suggested, he shook his head and physically moved me, swapping our sides.
"I'd win."
"Without a doubt." I agreed, our faces mere inches from each other when Kili barged in.
"You'll never guess what Uncle just told me Fee!"