'Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again
'Cause we just wanna be whole
~We Are Broken-Paramore~
My screaming pierced the air. I can't remember anything but being wrapped in Edward's arms. I open my eyes and see Carlisle standing over me—a look of worry in his eyes. I clamp my mouth closed—I really hope that I didn't wake anyone else in the family. I reach out my hand—trying to find Edward's hand. All my hand finds is a metal railing. I realize that I'm not at the Cullen house—the lights blazing above my head are far too bright. I open my mouth to speak but my mouth is too dry.
"Your in the hospital Bella. You collapsed at the party. How are you feeling?"
Now that he mentioned it I felt a bit woozy. Like I had one too many to drink—even though I don't remember drinking anything other than water. He handed me a cup, and I drank the water hungrily from it.
"A little woozy--"
"That's too be expected—we uh—well--Bella did you know you were expecting?"
"As in—a baby?"
My heart thudded in my chest. It couldn't be—was I pregnant again? With—Jacob's child?
"Yes Bella."
"No—it can't be—I was on birth control. I wanted to make sure that I couldn't bring another child into that mess--"
"Birth control isn't one hundred percent—Bella--"
The pain in his eyes gave me an answer I didn't even know I was seeking. I was almost cetain that when he said 'were expecting' he meant it in the past tense that he said it.
"You lost the baby Bella—You fainted at the party—Edward sent Alice to get me—when I got to you—you were bleeding heavily. There isn't anyway I could have saved the baby—I am so sorry."
"I lost—the baby?"
Him confirming what I already thought didn't make it sink in any faster. Even though my head knew that I had lost a baby—my heart wanted to believe that his words weren't true.
"Yes—would you like me to get Edward?"
That brought me back to reality. I gasped in horror.
"He doesn't know Bella—I can—find out if it's---"
"It's Jacob's—me and Edward—we haven't--"
"Okay—you want me to get him?"
"Yes please--"
As he turned to walk away, I grabbed a hold of the sleeve of his doctor's jacket.
"Thank you—for being so—kind to me. You didn't have to—none of you had to—so thank you."
"Your welcome—even if thanks aren't needed. We were happy to help you Bella—you've made Edward so happy. More so than you know."
I smiled softly—unable to put my whole heart into it. I could feel the ache in my heart start—even if I hadn't known I was pregnant, I still loved that baby. Even if it had part of that monster in it—I still would have loved it with my whole heart.
"Oh thank god."
His voice was pained, and his eyes were swollen. I knew he had been crying—and it broke my already broken heart.
"I—have something I need to tell--"
He cut off my words when he crashed his lips into mine. The kiss was fiery—passionate--and mostly full of fear. I kissed him back as needling as he kissed me. All too quickly he pulled back, and resting his forehead against mine.
"I thought I was going to lose you."
"Not likely--"
He chuckled lightly, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. I reached up, and ran my hand along his cheek.
"I do have something to tell you--"
"Go on."
His emerald eyes were intense—and I was suddenly afraid that I might lose him.
"Carlisle—he umm—he told me what happened--"
"Did he find out what caused it?"
"Yes—I was—pregnant--"
I couldn't bare to look him in the eyes, but I could feel his arms tighten around me as the realization sat in.
"You—lost it?"
"Yes."
"Oh god—Bella--"
He pulled me into his arms, careful not to pull out any of the wires coming from various parts of my body. Holding me into his chest, he stroked my back.
"That's—awful--Oh baby."
His lips layed caressing kisses on my forehead. I felt utterly safe—and loved in his arms. I could feel my heart plummet straight to the ground—and knew that I had just fallen in love with Edward Cullen.