Rating:
This chapter is Rated T.

Beta:
Isabella Rain; you are the most super, duper best Beta!

Authors Notes:
I would like to say a special thanks to all my constant reviewers! You know who you are. :)
Also a thank-you to the new comers as well. I'm glad you enjoy my story.
This chapter has a segment with Christian and Rose, which I enjoyed writing. I hope you like this side of Christian.
Also get ready for some Rose attitude!

Disclaimer:
The author Richelle Mead owns the Vampire Academy universe. I Want To Experience Love is a Vampire Academy Fan Fiction story and it is not intended to infringe on any copyrights held by Richelle Mead or Razor Bill Company. Richelle Mead is the creator of the Vampire Academy characters, however this story is my original work. Copyright 2010 by xx-RedRoseBlackThorn-xx. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

CHAPTER TEN

Torn in Two

Walking into the gymnasium wasn't a nice cup of tea. All I kept thinking about was Dimitri and the way he acted towards me. I didn't want to see him. He made me feel cheap, but at the same time I knew it wasn't in Dimitri to be acting the way he was. Which meant I had to figure out what was making him act this way and figure it out fast.

I wasn't too late entering the gym, which for once I was happy about. I couldn't see Dimitri, and I was starting to wonder if he had spoken to another guardian about taking over his spot. I wouldn't blame him if he did, it would be very uncomfortable for us both. It would only cause more problems than necessary and right now, we had enough problems going for us.

Eddie gave me a nod from where he was standing in his line. He was all eager to get it all over and done with, and personally so was I. I was ready to go out and discover the world. I have learned all I can here at the Academy; I can learn more outside the gates. I know that for a fact and so does Eddie, that's why he is more willing than anyone else here to take the next level.

I started walking over to my line, when I heard an all too familiar voice call, "Little, Dhampir."

"Adrian? Are you even allowed in here?" I asked confused.

"Whether I'm allowed here or not doesn't matter." He said giving me his famous smirk.

"You won't be seeing anything interesting today," I added trying to look sad.

He placed his hand on my shoulder, "Why is that Rose?" He acted along with me.

"See those little rooms over there?" I pointed in the direction of the rooms, on the other side of the gym. "Individually we go in there and get tested." I shook my head and added, "Which means no body action today."

He laughed and said, "Can't you give me a personal preview?"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Adrian. Haven't you learnt by now?" I couldn't help laughing at his sad expression.

"Have you – made up a – just forget it," Adrian stuttered.

"It's not like you to stumble on words. Is this Adrian I'm talking to?" I asked, putting on a shocked expression.

"I like you Rose."

"I know Adrian. I think everyone is the entire world knows by now," I said sarcastically.

"Have you... ah..." He shuffled on his feet.

I knew what he was getting at, and honestly I didn't think about his offer to give him a chance. All I wanted at the time was Dimitri. I mean, Adrian was not likely able to take Dimitri's place, but I had never given him time. But there could be time for him now...

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes."

"Uh... Rose... Yes to what? You have thought about it or..."

I let out a little giggle and said, "Yes. I have thought about it, and yes, I'll give it a go."

He had a big smile spread across his face, and he bent down to hold my hand, and placed a kiss on top of my hand.

"Thank you," he said.

"There's no need to treat me like a princess. I'm not royal and I never will be." He nodded and I continued, "But I'm not jumping into a relationship either. I know you Adrian, but you said so yourself, there is much more I need to know about you. As there is more you need to know about me."

He was studying me very closely. My guess was he was reading my aura and couldn't work it out. I always had something new for him to discover.

"You look different," he commented.

"Good or bad different? If you say good there will be something good in it for you." I tried really hard to flirt in the mood I was in.

"A bad way."

"Thanks Adrian. Way to impress me on the first day I give you a chance."

He gave me a shrug with an apologetic smile, and it looked really cute on him. I couldn't help but laugh.

I stopped laughing immediately once I saw Dimitri walk through the door; he was looking straight in my direction. I let out a sigh, and slouched down on the gymnasium stairs.

"Why so glum?" He said, sitting down beside me.

"I don't think I'm going to do so well in my test today," I admitted.

"Rose... are you serious? You are one of the best Novices around. And when do you get worried over a test?"

I looked up to find Dimitri marking off the other Novice's names on the list. Adrian followed my gaze.

"Is he your partner?" he asked with no emotion.

"Yep." I said, popping the 'P' at the end.

"His good looks going to get the best of you?" He pulled me up out of my seat. "I thought you two had this sorted. Go show him what you have got."

"Rosemarie Hathaway," Dimitri was calling my name.

I looked up in his direction and turned back to Adrian.

"Adrian."

"Yeah?" He looked up with wide eyes.

"I needed that." I walked over and gave him a hug.

"Rosemarie Hathaway!" Dimitri called louder.

Adrian gave Dimitri a smart-ass smirk and said loud and clear so Dimitri could hear, "He really is impatient isn't he? Do you think it's because I got something he can't have?"

Just as I nodded and turned around, Adrian slapped my ass and said, "Go get 'em Tiger."

"ROSEMARIE HATHAWAY!" Dimitri roared and gave Adrian the most dangerous look I have even seen him give.

I walked towards the other nine students with blood rushing towards my face, making me blush. I couldn't believe Adrian did that in front of an audience, and even in front of Dimitri. No, scratch that. He would do it in front of Dimitri to piss him off, and he did do a good job of that, but in the long run, I was the one who had to deal with him for the next hour.

I stood beside Eddie and he gave me a sympathetic smile. I looked up to see Dimitri staring at me. "Is there a problem Guardian Belikov?" I hissed.

Dimitri didn't answer and turned back to where Alberta was walking out of her little room.

Eddie leaned over and whispered, "What's going on there?" He lifted his eyebrows.

"He was giving me words of encouragement," I blushed.

"By hitting you on the ass? I'll do that any day if that's all it takes," he joked.

I knew he wasn't serious. Eddie wasn't that type of person. I nudged him and said, "Is that all it takes to get Carly?"

He blushed and looked towards Alberta, who was walking to our group.

"Once the students have left the room, you may find your guardian and get started. Must I remind you, this is a very important part of your overall score." She nodded her head to agree with herself and walked over to the water cooler.

Students were exiting the rooms and walking out of the gymnasium. The guardians were standing in front of us now while Stan said, "You may head off."

I dreaded those last four words. I was so nervous about being alone with Dimitri. On any other circumstances I would have loved the idea, but now I was scared to even look at him.

The others had already started to walk off by the time I finally got the courage to walk up to Dimitri. He didn't acknowledge me at all. I was starting to wonder why he didn't swap students, but then it came to me that he might have tried, and the other guardians didn't want to put up with me.

The room was small and only contained: a table, two chairs, a marking pad, and a tape player. I sat down while Dimitri sat across from me.

"You will be given two minutes on each sound or noise to come up with a conclusion. It is very generous, because in the real world you don't get any time to rethink your course of action," He explained.

I couldn't help but bite. I was still pissed off and upset. I had to let it out and who better than the person who made me feel that way.

"I know what it's like in the real world. I was there remember... without you," I spat with venom.

He ignored me and kept explaining the procedures. "If I believe you have come up with a satisfying conclusion, you will pass; if it's unsatisfying then you fail that question."

"And what is satisfying to you, Dimitri?" I cocked my head and gave my best yeah-right look.

He looked at his marking pad and said, "Do you understand? Are there any questions you would like to ask?"

I smiled and said, "There are plenty, where do I start? I have been waiting for this moment."

He took a deep breath and announced, "Any questions related to your work today?"

"Depends on what you call work," I hissed. "Am I just work for you? Someone you can get rid of at the end of the year."

Dimitri stood and I could see his temper breaking free. "Would you like to fail the test, because the way you are going I am going to give you a F."

It was then I realised I had done enough messing around for now. I didn't want to fail my test. "Let's do it," I said looking up at him.

He sat back down and pressed play on the tape recorder. I heard the sound of trees rustling and a baby crying. Dimitri pressed stop and I didn't waste time of thinking about my conclusion.

"You're time is up," Dimitri stated. "What's your final answer?"

"I heard the noise of trees rustling and a baby crying. So I came to the conclusion the attacker is outside in a very windy environment and a baby is in the middle of the assassination. If I was in the area, I would have a good idea where the most trees would be to make such a noise, however if I was back at a located destination, I would look up the weather radar and take my lead that way."

Dimitri nodded his head in confirmation, "What about the baby?"

"The attacker has either taken the baby to lure the other victim out, or the baby is the only survivor left at the time. When I make the location, my first reaction would to be distract, the Strigoi from the baby and get their attention on me at all times. I should be constantly defending the baby from any attacks, until I see an easy opening to stake the Strigoi. If it was another situation where the victim was able to run, I would tell them to flee. However, because it's a baby I am not allowed to go in full attack mode.

"Why are you not allowed?" he asked.

"Because I should have my full concentration on the Strigoi, and not the surroundings of the baby.

He looked at me and said, "Very good," and wrote on his pad.

The session continued in the same patterns for nine more situations before I was able to leave. Not once did Dimitri tell me I said anything wrong. So I was positive I passed my first test.

I was walking to the door when I heard, "I'm sorry."

I stood there frozen at the door, unable to move.

"You did very well today, Rose." His voice sounded proud.

I love it when he gives me a compliment. It was very rare but when he did, it was the best feeling in the world.

I turned around and said, "I know."

"Despite what you believe Rose, I do care about you."

How dare he say that! He didn't show it earlier this morning. I gave him an appalled look and turned around for the door.

Two hands were placed on each of my shoulders, "Please, listen to me."

I swung around so fast, flinging his hands off me. "You want me to listen?" I hissed. "I gave you the morning for me to listen, and do you want to know what I heard? I heard nothing!" I pushed him back with two hands like I had earlier. "You want to know why? Because I wanted you to explain to me what was going on, but you being the coward you are, didn't answer me and walked out on me! And that wasn't the first time this week, must I add. So you listen to me. I've had enough. You have proven to me I mean nothing to you, and it's ok, because I don't want any more to do with you!"

It was silent while I took a deep breath and ran things through my mind. He didn't take the opportunity to say anything.

"You can take Tasha's offer. I know that's what you want to do. You should have told me. She is beautiful... you said so yourself. She will help you move on and forget me. Don't worry about me. I have my friends to help me through it. It's something you should have done a long time ago and saved me some hurt."

Dimitri stared at the ground while I spoke to him. He didn't even look up when I closed the door behind me.

I walked to my dormitory and cried myself to sleep.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

I woke up feeling like crap. My nose was blocked from the crying and I had to breathe through my mouth.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Go away," I yelled and threw the pillow over my head.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

I got up to go open the door.

"This better be important because if it isn't I am going to -"

"Going to what?" Christian smirked.

I groaned and turned around to walk back to bed.

"Wow. Someone is cheery this afternoon."

"Why aren't you with Lissa?" I mumbled under the blanket.

He leaned on the wall across from me. "She is with Adrian," He said sourly.

"Ah." Was all I felt like saying.

"Rose..."

"Yes Christian... that is my name."

He didn't reply right away, which led me to think he was deciding what to say, or more precisely how to say something.

"Why have you been crying?" His voice was so soft.

"Why would you say that?

I felt the bed move under me and Christian moved my leg so he could sit on the bed better.

"You're face is red and swollen. Unless there is another reason?"

I pulled the blanket down off my face and looked at Christian. He actually looked sincere and worried.

"Just having a shit day," I tried to smile.

"Adrian didn't say or hurt -" He started to say before I cut him off.

"It had nothing to do with Adrian," I squeaked.

I felt the tears build up in my eyes and I wasn't fast enough to wipe them away, before they escaped and fell down my cheeks.

"Rose, what's wrong? Please tell me," Christian said concerned.

Once Christian said those words, it made more tears escape my eyes.

Christian moved up the bed and grabbed one of my hands.

"You can tell me."

"No I can't. I can't tell anyone." I pushed his hand off. "I want to be alone."

He didn't back down though, I could see it is his eyes that he was staying.

"Well I'm not leaving."

"Then have fun because I'm not telling you anything." With that said, I pulled the covers back up and slowly fell back asleep.

I woke up with a growling stomach. It reminded me that I skipped dinner most likely. I sat up and stretched realising Christian was still in the room and on the floor.

"Christian..." I whispered. He didn't nudge. He had fallen asleep on the floor. Great. I was a bitch to him when he was feeling low himself, and made him sleep on the floor. Also Lissa might be worried and wondering where he is.

"Christian..." I slightly nudged him, this time and he rolled over and opened his eyes.

"Did I sleep through the night?" He asked still half asleep.

I laughed, "No silly. But it is past dinner time."

He sat up and grunted. "My back hurts like a bitch."

"Sorry. But you are the one who stayed," I punched his arm.

"Yeah, I know." He smiled. "Better?"

"Nope, but I had good company."

He chuckled and said, "Sleeping company." His eyes widened, "That came out wrong."

I laughed again. Christian was making me laugh and not meaning too. That was strange.

"Look. I know you and I have our difference, but I'd like to think..." He trailed off.

"We are. Well, I think of you as my friend. I can't speak for you."

Christian looked me in the eyes and said, "You can tell me anything, Rose. Even if it's something you don't want anyone else to know, but need to let it out. I'm here." He shook his head, "I know what it is like to bottle things up and it's not good for you."

I placed my hand over my heart and said, "And god bless I don't turn out like you."

Christian rolled his eyes but smiled, "I'm serious."

"Thank you."

"I know I'm not Lissa and you would tell her before me, but sometimes you don't want to tell someone you're close to."

I moved across the bed and pulled him up.

"This would be better than the floor," I mocked.

"Much better. Don't get the wrong idea though. Someone as hot as me can make you think the unthinkable," He smiled his lop sided grin.

I slapped his arm and said, "I'm glad you reminded me, all this time we have been together it was taken a toll on me.

We both laughed and laid on my bed, talking about random crap.

"Hey, Christian."

"Hey Rose," He mocked me.

I can't believe I was going to ask this or even talk about her but I had too.

"Have you heard from your – auntie lately?" I tried to sound detached.

"I heard from her recently, yeah." He turned to look at me. "How come?"

"Just wondering what she has been up to?" I hope he didn't notice the strain in my voice.

"She didn't go back home after she left," he said worried.

She didn't go back home? Oh my god. Does that mean that's what Lissa and Christian were talking about the other day? That means she must be close... waiting for Dimitri.

"Where is she... where did she go?" I asked trying to sounds interestingly curious.

He seemed to be deep in thought before he spoke. "She is going around the state doing some business." He seemed to not want to go into detail, so I left it. I pretty much got my answers anyway.

My tummy growled again and Christian sat up. "How about we go get something to eat?"

I nodded and looked in the mirror.

"You look fine now, Rose," he smiled.

I smiled and said, "How about we go to the feeders first?"

We were walking back from the feeders when we ran into Lissa.

"There you guys are. Where have you been?" She looked between Christian and I. "Rose, I thought you have a tough time at your test, so I left you alone in your room, but Christian where were you?"

Christian and I glanced at each other. We knew what we wanted to say.

Christian kissed her on the lips and said, "I went to my dorm. I thought I should leave you and Adrian alone to practice, and then I fell asleep. Hope I didn't worry you too much."

So we might have made a little white lie, but it wasn't a big lie. Christian did leave Adrian and Lissa alone and he did fall asleep. He just left out the part where he fell asleep in my room. We knew Lissa would think nothing of it, because she knows there's nothing romantic about Christian and I at all, but we didn't want to worry her anyway.

"I was hoping to run into you both before curfew, so it's all good," she smiled up at him. Through the bond I could feel her extremely excited, but I had no idea why.

My tummy did a repeat performance of the growling. "I'm hungry, so I'm going to head to the cafeteria. You want to come?"

"Yep. Because there is something I want to tell you and Christian," she bounced up and down.

"Oh, do tell," I smiled.

"We can go," she squealed.

"Go where?" Christian asked confused.

I stood there staring at her like I was a complete idiot. Did she just say we could go? Was this the only piece of good news I had for the day? I couldn't believe it.