Demon spawn?
Castle uncapped the Scotch bottle and poured himself a glass. A small one. A medicinal one. Just to calm his nerves. It was allowed, it didn't mean he was giving in to his own craziness.
He knew she had been joking, he really did. And, for the love of all things holy -apt given the whole demon aspect- it was a fish. In a bowl. In another room.
Logically he knew he was being ridiculous. It could not hurt him. But some days logic was stupid and ridiculous won out.
Apparently today was one of those days.
He downed the drink, grimaced at the slow burn of alcohol as it oozed down his throat, dropped the glass in the sink and leant heavily against the kitchen counter.
Mad day!
Crazy, insane day.
She bought him a fish.
Katherine Beckett got him a present for Valentines day. He grinned, letting the memories of the last few hours infuse his body with far more warmth than the Scotch ever could.
A fish!
A whole little live creature that she had gone out and chosen specifically for him or them and all so he/they could have a Valentines day gift. One that he had proceeded to attempt to assassinate twice before becoming terrified of it.
Their first Valentines day and ugh, he was back to feeling like a complete ass about the whole thing.
Not a Jackass or a Smartass, nope neither suited him today. They would have to invent a whole new level of assdom just for him.
He had to suck it up!
He would be brave. No, not even brave, it was a fish. He stood straighter and taller, it was a fish, a silly little scaled creature that seemed to stare at him like it knew the secrets of the universe and his every waking nightmare.
Like it knew him.
But it was a fish.
He could do this.
He couldn't do this.
He looked at his phone longingly, but Kate would be in the shower, she told him so the second time he had called and yet...his fingers itched to call again.
Castle sat at his desk, his laptop open and bent at a ridiculous and totally not hiding from a fishbowl angle that made him crane his neck just a bit too far to the left. And though it wasn't deliberate when he had started out, slowly, slowly over the last hour -seemingly every time he had typed anything the least bit sexual- the damn thing had started making noises and Castle had resorted to hiding.
How do fish make noise?
"Stop it." He mumbled. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing." He typed another sentence, let Nikki get Rook all steamed up in the shower as she watched him through the -
Plink, plink, plink.
"Beckett's right, the staring is creepy." He mumbled, lifting in the chair and eyeballing it over the top of his screen. "What do you have against romance?" The fish circled the bowl, bobbed and watched him, it's unblinking eyes, staring!
Castle lowered himself back down and shook his head, mumbling under his breath, the tappety tap of keys was followed by the plink, plink, plink of the fish.
"I kiss my girlfriend and you go all scary eyes." Tap, tap, tap, plink, plink, plink. "I mean what is so wrong with that?" Tap, tap, plink. "It's not like I meant to drop you, but she had her hands...and well that's not important." Tap, plink, tap, plink. "The first time was a complete accident." Tap, tap, plink, plink, plink. "Weird little cock-blocking fish." Tap, tap...
PLINK PLINK PLINK
"It's not PORN!" Castle growled loudly, defending his work and trying to sound scary. Fish were scared of cats so growling should work right?
Nope.
Shutting the lid of the laptop and trying to glare down into the bowl, Castle felt the insane urge to justify himself. "It's romantic sex between two consenting adults in a committed relationship."
The fish looked at him.
Definitely a Beckett fish, maybe even a detective fish. It had a look and not a cute one. This...creature turned it's eyes to him and Castle felt obligated to give up his secrets.
"With a...slight...kinky twist." He took a step back, trying desperately to break eye contact. But the fish would have none of it. "Now stop with the creepy staring or I'm calling your Mom, and yes by that I mean Beckett." He grimaced and whispered into the bowl, "Don't tell her I said that."