My longest chapter yet, and it's the final one of this part. I'll probably come back at a later date and edit it a little bit more, but I wanted to get it out tonight because I'm seriously busy the rest of this weekend and it needs finishing.
Once again thank you to everyone who's read, all the alerters and most importantly my reviewers. Every review brings a smile to my face.
Dean looks up from his book as he feels the air in the room shift and the presence of another in front of him. Castiel's eyes are bright, were he human Dean would say he looked feverish, and there is a manic cast to his face. It is enough to make worry and fear flash through him. This is the Cas that Dean has feared the emergence of. This is the Cas who will take what he wants and damn the consequences and the people he hurts in the process.
"What do you want, Cas?" He asks, just because he is going to go relatively quietly does not mean that he is not going to take that one last chance.
"It's time, Dean," Castiel tells him. His voice is oddly gentle, but there is an impatience there that Dean has heard before. His eyes flicker to Sam as his brother stirs on the sofa, waking from one of his worryingly frequent naps to look at them both. Castiel, it seems, has noticed his return to wakefulness as well. "You cannot stop me, Sam," he informs the younger Winchester and Dean does not have a chance to move away before he feels the gentle brush of Castiel's fingers against his forehead.
Travel by angel airways is no less disorientating now as it has been in the past. It is the sickening twist of land and scenery and the sensation of being squeezed through a series of too small holes and cramped tunnels. It churns his stomach and it takes a great deal of effort not to lose the contents on the dirty stone floor he finds under his feet.
The building is familiar, as it should be, it is the same building that Dean first met Castiel in. The walls are still covered in the same symbols designed to trap and protect against every creature known to man. Except one. Except angels.
He looks around him, taking in the way that the doors still hang a little on their hinges from the angel's dramatic entrance and the rickety tables that he and Bobby used for their preparations before summoning him. It brings how much Cas has really changed into focus. Castiel is no longer that emotionless angel who was permanently baffled by Dean's disbelief and lack of trust. Cas is something else, now, something that the hunter cannot understand and that frightens him. He tries not to let that fear show, however, trying to keep a cocky smirk on his face as he looks at the creature he once called friend.
"So what, exactly, is it time for, Cas?" He asks and the smile that Castiel give his is predatory and mad.
"It is time for us to join in the deepest and most profound way," which sounds wrong on so many levels, Dean concludes, but he doubts that Castiel means it in that way. "It will mean an end to all your doubts and nothing shall ever separate us." Cas snaps his fingers and the tables shift, ropes coiling around them to form bonds and a horrible suspicion starts to filter through Dean's mind.
"Kinky," he grins, all false bravado and stalling tactics that Castiel will see through without thought, "I didn't know you were into bondage." Castiel throws him a black look. "Seriously, though, don't I get a say in this forever thing?"
"I already know what you will say, Dean."
"Alright, so what I want means nothing?" He thinks that it is a valid question, sees from the way that the serenity of a god slips from Castiel's face that his former friend thinks so as well.
"I never know what you want, Dean," for the first time in too long the hunter sees something of his angel, sees the genuine confusion and anguish of a being that is not entirely sure it is doing the right thing. Dean has to wonder how he managed to miss the significance of that expression so many times. "Sometimes I think you say you want something because that is what you believe they want to hear you say."
"I still want you to give up the souls, Cas," Dean mutters. "That hasn't changed."
"Is that what you really want?" Castiel asks, the angel slowly starting to melt away again and the cold deity re-emerging.
"You know how I feel about God," Dean replies, "we've done fine without him and we don't need a new one. I just want you back."
"Which me? The angel? The woman? The human? Is there any form of me that you could truly be content with, Dean?" Castiel is cold again, eyes calculating and distant.
"Just you," Dean whispers, "whichever you that you feel you should be."
For the first time since the kiss they shared in Bobby's kitchen Dean reaches for Castiel. He touches trembling fingers to his friend's cheek and feels the rough scrape of a five o'clock shadow. Castiel is so cold and distant, he does not even lean into the touch as Dean had hoped that he would. He simply watches with barely a flicker of emotion, barely anything to indicate that he has even felt the hunter's touch.
"This is who I should be," Castiel lowers Dean's hand to his side with a gentleness that is out of place. "When we are joined you will see all the reasons for it. My thoughts will be yours and yours will be mine. We will not be able to hide from each other anymore. We will not be able to hurt each other again."
There is another snap and Dean finds himself bound to the tables, rope tight enough to make it impossible for him to work his way free but not so tight that it causes him pain. The hunter turns his head so that he can watch his friend approach, watch the way that he slowly removes his ever present trench coat, blazer, shirt and tie with each step. It is strange to see Cas without the ill-fitting clothes, strange to see the expanse of pale skin that once belonged to a man and is now all Castiel's own.
"Peace," Castiel whispers, smoothing a hand across Dean's forehead. "There will be pain but it will be of but a moment and soon forgotten." The hunter knows that his friend thinks these words will be reassuring, but all he finds in them is a source of fear and dread.
"Look, Cas, can we talk about this? I want to know what I'm getting into here." He tries to reason with Castiel even though he knows how futile that is. That single glimpse of the angel he once called friend, the sign that the angel he loves is still in there somewhere, has shown him how urgent it is that he appeals to that piece of untainted grace. It makes him want to save Cas from himself even more.
"There is nothing left that needs to be said, Dean," Castiel tells him. "All that is required has been done and all the necessary declarations have been made. We shall be as one, my beloved, for all of eternity. You need never fear being alone again." For someone both socially and emotionally stunted Castiel can still sometimes surprise the hunter with how keenly he sees into every insecurity that makes the hunter who he is. "Everything that I have done these last years has been in your name; don't you think that it is time you did something for me?"
Dean has no answer for that, remains silent and continues to struggle with his restraints. Truth be told if Castiel asked it there is very little that he would not do. This is one of those things that the hunter would refuse to do, he would rather have some measure of control over his own destiny. He is opening his mouth to respond when a new voice fills the room, Latin dripping out in an accent that he knows does not belong to Sam or Bobby. In actual fact it sounds rather like Crowley's voice and he finds himself half praying that his brother has not been that stupid.
"You!" Castiel turns from Dean and the hunter can see him raise his hand to obliterate the demon. It is an action that the angel does not get to take because he is on his knees in a moment, grey light seems to filter and bubble from every pore in the flesh of his vessel. It is blinding, so bright that Dean has to clamp his eyes shut and wishes that he had his hands free so that he could cover his ears and block out the agonised screams that tear from his friend's throat. Dimly he is away that he is shouting Castiel's name, but whether it is heard over the chants and the screams he does not know.
When silence falls and the light has become little more than purple spots that dance in his eyes Dean finally risks opening them. Crowley is examining his hand, flexing it with a kind of morbid fascination that tells the hunter that his is very not good.
"Fascinating," the demon comments, looking at Castiel's prone form on the dirty floor. "I can see why you wanted to keep them."
If there is more that the demon wants to say the words are lost to eternity in another explosion of light. A wave of energy passes over Dean, threatening to make him lose consciousness and it is only sheer force of will that keeps him awake.
"It is done," Death says and Dean sees Sam step through the door. "The souls are back where they belong and I will ensure that Purgatory is never used in this manner again. You kept your side of the bargain, Sam, Dean could learn a lot from you."
Sam waits until Death is gone before he unties his brother and those are the longest few moments of Dean's life. On the one hand he wants to shake Sam and demand to know why he would be so stupid and risk handing the ultimate power to Crowley. On the other he just wants to go to Castiel and see if he is alright. He wants to go to his angel and try to find a way to make this right again.
"Let's take him back to Bobby's," Sam says when Cas wins the internal debate and Dean half collapses at his side. "We'll need somewhere to contain him if he wakes up."
"He'll wake up," Dean replies and he believes that, he really does, because he thinks that if he does not he will go slowly mad.
Fin.
The final part of the trilogy will be up within the week. It's titled First Time and huge thanks out to VitaliaSteele for all your suggestions. They were so helpful to me (as you can see from my title choice.) Hopefully see you at the next one.
Artemis