Fef was on her way to the beach. She had woken and had found a note that had been pushed under the door, in what was surely Eridan's handwriting. Meet me at the beach when you wwake up. Even his stutter was evident on paper. It had been a week since she found out he couldn't swim, They hadn't gone down there since then. He had said yes to learning how to swim but nothing was done after that. Did he finally want to learn how?
Eridan was standing on the beach, a path in the sand having been made from his pacing for about the last hour. While his scarf was present around his neck, he had managed to only dress in a pair of shorts that went a bit past his knees and a somewhat fitting shirt.
Fef dressed in her swimsuit just in case, and it was a good thing too. Eridan was dressed in much less than usual, he left his cape in his room and…was planning on going in the water today? She ran up to him from behind and jumped him. "POUNCE!" she yelled.
Eridan jumped when he heard and felt her, the ocean obviously making him tense. Taking a moment to catch his breath that she had made him lose, he looked back to her. "Good…Good Morning Fef." he said shakily.
"Hey." she smiled. "I came down as soon as I could. What was with the note and this get-up?" she asked, tugging a bit on his shirt.
Eridan stepped back a little, his chin disappearing into his scarf. "You…offered to help me swim."
Fef tilted her head, "I did. We can start by getting you into the eater, even if it's ankle deep. Small steps." she said, offering a hand to him. "Are you ready?"
"No, not really." he admitted, taking her hand. He kept his eyes on the ground, managing
To take three steps closer to the water before his hesitance stopped him. They were still a good three feet from the water.
Fef did have high hopes. But they were crashing fast. But then, she had an idea. He brought his art bag and she learned that he paints as well as draws. Wouldn't he have a bottle, for cleaning his brushes? "Wait here." she said, running over to his bag. Hopefully he wouldn't mind and she could clean it out later. She went over to the water and collected some. "Hold out your hands." she said once she was near him again.
She had gotten the bottle before he could tell her not to leave and then she stood in front of him. He watched her closely as he held out his hands. "What are you going to do? He asked.
Fef held up the bottle. "This water is from the ocean, directly. I'm going to pour some on your fins-hands. Will you let me?" she asked.
Eridan had felt himself stiffen and he had to force a nod and keep his mouth firmly close so he couldn't refuse.
She lowered the bottle, she could see how nervous he was, how tense he became. "Eridan, I'm not going to do this. You're shaking." she frowned.
Eridan shook his head. "Fef, do it." he said through a clenched jaw. When she didn't do immediately do so, he dropped his head, his hand curling into fists. "I'm tired of being a coward! If I thought that having you push me in would help me like it helped, I would."
Fef recoiled when he started yelling. Once he was finished, she just looked at him, deciding. He was still scared, but there was determination there too. So before she could second guess, she dumped the water on his hands and arms, closing her eyes in the process. He tensed again, but oddly enough with his feet still dry he didn't have as bad of a reaction. His breathing picked up, but he didn't feel like he was choking on water that wasn't there like he had before.
Feferi lowered the empty bottle. "Sea? It's okay. But, are you okay?" she asked. He responded… not badly, he breathed a bit too heavily for her liking and his eyes were clenched closed.
Eridan remained still and silent for close to ten minutes before he found his voice. "I think I wwill be.." Feferi nodded.
"So then, do you want to try getting your feet wet?" she asked. "Or somefin else?"
"Something else?" he asked, prying his eyes open as his shaking eased and he looked to her. "Wwhat else wwould there be to try?"
"Well, walking into the ocean. Getting your feet wet is another thing to try." She set the bottle down and grabbed his hands. "I'll go in first, walking backwards." She swiped a stray hair from his face and her hand staid on his cheek. "I'll be right here." She whispered. "Ok?"
Eridan nodded, and as badly as he wanted to back out he took a step forward, holding onto her hands tightly. "I don't knoww… howw far I'll be wwilling to go.." he warned. She took a step back as he stepped forward.
"That's okay. We'll go as far as you're willing to go. In this sense, not the other one P-ERV." She joked, trying to get him to loosen up. Eridan's cheeks flushed and he looked up at her, continuing forward without really noticing.
"I'll havve you knoww, my thoughts wwere nowhere near-" his voice caught in his throat when his foot hit the water, his body tensing again. Feferi switched her grip to his arms, rubbing up and down in an attempt to calm him down.
"-Eridan, its okay. The tide is calm, calm. Low tide. You're okay. I'm right here." She cooed and shoosed. His breathing had spiked to say the least, his eyes wide.
"I… calm…" he stammered, trying to calm himself down as she continued to rub his arms.
"Shh. You're wave above water, not drowning." A small tide came in, reaching no more than half an inch above their toes. "You're okay." She said as he flinched. He would have flinched back at feeling the water rise if he wasn't so deep rooted in his spot, too stiff to move. His breathing didn't decrease, but he wasn't shaking. Feferi continued to rub his arms, a little harder now. "-Eridan, you're doing swimmingly. Reely, reely well. I'm proud of you." She said, hoping that compliments would help relax him.
His grip on her arms tightened when she said 'swimmingly' but loosened after a moment. "Can… can wwe get out noww?" he asked, his stutter seeming to become worse. Feferi nodded.
"Of coralse –Eridan." She said. She was tempted now, by the water that was trailing over her feet. But she wanted to make sure he was okay. She walked him back over to a flat rock, helping him sit. Once he had he pulled his feet up from the water, his eyes still wide as his breathing eased a bit. Shaking his head after a bit he lowered it.
"I'm sorry Fef…"
"No, no –Eridan. I'm proud of you. You let me pour sea water on your hands AND you stood toe deep in the water for a good two minutes. It's a step in, pun intended." She gave him the biggest hug she could. "I'm glad, and I'm so proud of you." She praised. And she truly was, she was happy he to the initiative to combat his fears.
Eridan shook his head but held tightly onto her. "That's nothing compared to you swimming out wwere you cant feel the sand anymore."
"Shh. Soon, if you want to, you will get to that point. Don't belittle what you accomfished today." She pulled back and placed both hands on his face. "Please?" she begged.
"I'll… try not to." He said. He wouldn't promise her something he couldn't be sure of. And he wasn't sure he wouldn't belittle his, 'progress' as she called it, the next time.
Feferi didn't reply, simply holding his face for a little longer. Sadly she couldn't ignore the sea's call forever. "-Eridan." She pulled back. "I'm sorry but," she motioned to the water, then at herself a sheepish smile on her face.
Eridan gave a small nod, then dropped his gaze to his lap. "Go ahead. I'll wwait here." He replied softly. Feferi felt terrible… but she had been ignoring the sea's call for a week. She was able to go longer, but there was nothing really blocking her now. So she guided him over to the blanket and pulled out his sketch pad for him.
"I'll be fast." After thinking for a moment she planted a kiss on his forehead and dashed off into the water. Ankle deep, knee deep, she slowed down once she reached shoulder dep. She breathed in and lowered herself into the water. She could already feel the waves washing away every bad feeling, doubt, guilt, until she was left optimistic and happy. She curled up and planted herself on the bottom of the sanded floor. Please, she said in a stream of bubbles. Please give Eridan the strength to enter able be able to calm in your arms. She felt something wash over her and she knew, he wish was heard.
Feferi just stayed curled up for a while, focusing on breathing through her gills and just clearing her mind. However, she didn't forget that she told Eridan she wouldn't stay in for long. Once she got a good fill she floated back up to the surface and swam back to shore. Once she was out and wringing her suit out, she noticed how Eridan was sitting. Sketch book closed at his side, him curled up and his face hidden in his arms. She felt something tug in her chest and the guilt came back. She wrung out her hair and suit as thoroughly as possible, then ran over to him uncurling him so she could slam him to the ground with a hug.
Eridan was startled when he was pulled from his ball of comfort, eyes wide as she held him against her. After a moment his eyes slid closed and he wrapped his arms around her as well.
They didn't move for a while, Eridan not really having much choice in the matter since he was hug-pinned by Feferi and she wasn't moving any time soon. She nuzzled his neck every once in a while, but stayed still and silent for the most part.
"Wwhy aren't you swwimming anymore?" he asked softly after a long while of silence, his grip on her loosening. Feferi shook her head, sitting up a bit.
"I did for a bit." She replied. She didn't want to tell him that it didn't feel right knowing he was on the beach, kicking himself for being scared of the water. "I got my fill." She said with some sort of smile.
"Fef, you'vve been awway from the wwater for a wweek. Last time you wwere out there all day and didn't get your fill." He sighed, looking away from her. "You're up here because of me." Feferi looked away as well, she didn't really have any response to that. True, she actually didn't get her fill but if she truly did want to get it, she'd have to practically live in the sea. As much as she liked that idea…
Eridan finally managed to stand, closing his eyes. "You should keep swwimming. It makes toy happy." He said as he picked up his sketch book and slid it back in his bag.
Feferi set her gaze on the blanket. "But seaing you smile… makes me happy too." She trailed off, her fins drooping.
That stopped him and he looked back at her before he sighed. "I' sorry Fef. I'm just… upset that I couldn't get further into the wwater before I had to quit."
Feferi stood and interlaced their hands together. "You reely should be proud of what you accomfished today though. And tomorrows a new day. Maybe you'll go further than you did today."
"Maybe." He said, picking up his bag. "I'm gong to head back up. Are toy going to stay dowwn here?" he asked, keeping his gaze from her. Feferi thought for a second, wanting to go with him but… She nodded. Better to leave him alone for a while. Eridan looked to her when he didn't hear a response, frowning softly. "Fef, I didn't mean to upset you." he said, sitting beside her again.
Feferi shook her head. "I'm more worried aboat if I upset you. And I nodded, you can go back up if you want. A bath sounds nice right now." She said, curling up. Eridan watched her for a moment, holding his hand to her.
"I wwon't leavve you out here by yourself."
"Alright." She said, standing and leaning against his arm as they walked back up to the castle.
Eridan felt a little better when she came without much a fight. He led her to the bathing wing of the castle, looking down at her. "Wwould you like me to wwait for you?" he asked.
Feferi looked up at him and winked. "You're free to join me~"
Eridan's cheeks lit up and he seemed to be feeling more like himself as he tugged at his scarf. "I don't think that wwould be a good idea." He replied.
"You need to lighten up Grumpygills~" she teased, pulling him into the bathing room. The baths were built into the ground, and one corner had two with a thin wall separating them. Perfect.
Eridan was helpless to resist her pulling and he found himself having a hard time looking at her. "Fef, I really don't knoww about this." He stuttered.
"Oh shoosh, it's fine. We'll use the divided one~" She squeaked, running over to the baths, starting them
Eridan followed her slowly, making sure to stay on his side of the divider. "Do you usually bath wwith Nepeta?" he asked. "Is that wwhy you wwant me to bathe here wwith you?"
"Mmhmm! We bathe with each other all the time! And there's a divider so NO P-E-EKING~" she giggled, untying her new swimsuit and letting it drop to the floor. He was planning on turning her head to tell her that he wouldn't when he heard her swimsuit drop. His head snapped forward and he shook it before he started to remove his own shirt.
Just because he was behaving didn't mean she was. She peeked around the divider for a nettle snipped of him exposed. His shirt was off and his back was to her. He wasn't buff, but he had some lean meat on those bones. She couldn't help but stare. He was… rather attractive… Oh. He was removing his scarf. Was, being the key word before she stepped forward and tripped over the towel bar.
In a flash his scarf was back around his neck and he hurried to her before realizing how bare she was and he looked away, offering her his hand. "Are… Are you alright?" he asked.
Feferi giggle nervously, taking his hand and squeezing it. "I-I'M FIN-E" she said a bit too loudly to be believable. That would be really embarrassing if she had to admit to being a peeping tom. "I sink I better check on the water. Do you have bubble stuff?" she asked, pulling a towel around herself.
"I'll get it." He said, pulling away and returning quickly with a bottle of bubble-soap. He set it on her side of the divider, then returned to his side. "Is there anything else you need?" he asked.
"Nope! Thank you though. Are you doing okay over there?" she asked as she popped the top off, pouring some mix into the bath.
"I'm fine." He said, moving his hands up to his scarf once again. With some hesitance he pulled it back off, his shorts being removed next before he slid into the bath. Feferi slid into the bubbly bath herself, sitting back with a comfortable sigh. The air became filled with humidity and Feferi grabbed some shampoo to lather her hair with.
"So I'm guessing it's just the sea that paralyzes you since you came in here without much struggle, reely." She said. Eridan nodded, then remembered that she couldn't see it.
"There's something about it being the ocean that scares me." He admitted, washing his own hair. "I guess it's because of the incident happening n the ocean."
"Maybe also because you can't control the ocean?" she offered, rinsing her hair. "I mean, here if you feel like you're going to drown, you can just pull the plug. But there's no plug in the ocean." She knew a troll once who had that problem.
"That could vvery wwell be wwhy." He replied. "I'vve nevver thought myself to be the kind to wwant control though." He added.
"You're royalty. As am I. It's our instinct to have control; over the small things, and the big ones. Otherwise, how can you expect to run a kingdom?" she explained. She was almost done now, finishing the washing over her body.
Eridan's hand ran along the silver like along the right side of his neck and he swallowed hard. Was that why Gamzee didn't want to be king? Because he knew he lacked control? "I guess you're right." He said, dropping his hand to wash the rest of his own body.
"I don't know. I could be wrong." She replied. "Thought it's nice to be right." She giggled. She was done by this point, but she stayed in got a few extra minutes to enjoy the water. "So who is going to be king? You or Gamzee?"
"He says he doesn't care to be king… but wwhat he doesn't knoww is wwhichevver of us fills their matesprit quadrant first wwill become king wwith out matesprits as our queen." He explained, wrapping a towel around himself, placing his scarf around his neck again.
Feferi could hear him splashing around and assumed he was getting out, so she stood up and grabbed a towel for herself and one for her hair. What he told her kind of shined a light for her; a reason as to why she was there. "So that's why Im here then? Because you two fail at filling quadrants?" she teased, popping her head around the divider to stick her tongue out at him.
That stung a little. "And howw many quadrants do you havve?" he replied, arching an eyebrow playfully at her. "Besides, wwe don't have girls around this kingdom often. Not long enough to fill a quadrant happily wwith anyway." Feferi did have to think for a moment as she dried her hair.
"Well, I don't have any Kismesis' or anemones. Nepeta could be considered a moirail, and I'm not austizing anyone." She wondered aloud, winding her towel around her hair. "But my red quadrant isn't filled yet either~" she teased, snapping him with her towel as she walked by with her clothing in her arm to change behind the curtain.
Eridan jumped at the crack of the towel, giving her a confused look. "So you have almost as many as I do." He commented, pulling his shirt back on, then his shorts.
"Maybe. Your turn for quadrant shaking~" She sing-songed as she dropped her towel, pulling her slip on. Sighing, Eridan thought that he should have seen that coming.
"Wwell… my moirail wwas forced to leavve this kingdom…" he admitted. "At least… I believe wwe wwere moirails…" he shook his head. "Obvviously no red quadrant and..." he trailed off for a moment. "That's all." He finished a little quickly, drying his hair off; careful of his horns as always.
Feferi came out from behind the screen, all dressed. "Finished that sentence reely quick. Have some black fish swimming around you?" she asked, coming up behind him.
"Black fish?" he asked, turning to face her as he fixed his scarf. "Wwhat do you mean by that?"
"Black fish. KISSM-ES-ES!" she exclaimed, tugging a little on his scarf. "Doooo you?"
Eridan grabbed the scarf, trying to keep how low it was pulled to a minimum. "Not exactly." He replied. "Wwell, more like not all the time." he corrected.
She scooted up closer to him, "Who is it?" she asked, getting up real close to his face.
Eridan wasn't sure if telling her would be the best of ideas. After all, he was better for the most part. His fits had eased it had been sweeps since the incident that caused him to fear and hate the male. He closed his eyes and sighed, "My step brother, Fef, Gamzee." He didn't hate Gamzee himself…more so he hated the sober side of Gamzee.
Fef stepped back a bit, some shock in her face. She wasn't sure what to think of this. Gamzee was Eridan's occasional Kismesis. Blackrom was usually built on hate, but not uncommon to be built on fear. Did Gamzee really do something that made Eridan consider him Blackrom? If so then that meant…Feferi was right.
Eridan opened his eyes to see her step back from him and he shook his head, turning to grab his wet towel. "I hope you don't drag Nepeta away from him." he said, running a hand through his hair. "He needs someone."
"Why does he 'need someone'? He had the garden and his messiahs or whatever he calls them. I mean, he's set!" She said with a laugh. But she was confused as to what Eridan meant by he needed someone. Eridan gave her a sad look before he turned his gaze from her.
"He's not like you, Fef. The garden isn't like the ocean is to you. He needs a friend, someone wwho wwon't leavve him." He said. He had tried to be close to him when the were little… But when that nubby troll was sentenced to death, he couldn't handle Gamzee anymore.
Feferi was even more confused now. There was more to be said that he wasn't telling her, but the bathing room wasn't the place for it.
"I sink we're done in the baths. Can we go back to your room?" Eridan nodded, then took lead from the bathroom to the sleeping hall, setting coarse for his room.
"Howw is Nepeta, but the wway? You havven't been around her much lately."
That stopped Feferi dead in her tracks, her hand dropping from his. She was about to answer when she realized… she didn't have an answer. It was true; she hadn't been spending… any time with Nepeta recently. Most, maybe even all… had gone to being with Eridan. Her heart sank, hoisted anchor down in the pits of her stomach, the weight bringing her to her knees. Guilt washed over her. She had even been sneaking out at night when she knew Nepeta hated sleeping alone. What kind of a friend was she to do that?
When Feferi's hand left his own he stopped, looking back before he kneeled down in front of her. "Fef, I didn't mean to upset you." He said, taking her hand again. Feferi just shook her head. She needed to make this up to Nepeta. She needed to see her. "Nep…"
Eridan paused, then nodded, helping her to her feet. "I'll help you to her." He said. "Do you have an idea where she is today?" He asked. That added more weight to her chest. She didn't have a clue as to where she would be. Or rather, where Gamzee would be.
"Wherever Gamzee is, she would be with him. Those two have attached each other to their hips." Was the only answer she could think of.