Don't own Naruto.

Sorry for not updating as fast as I did before. I'm you know how life always seems to get in the way of… well… living.

We are getting close guys! Just a little further and we will get to the reason why this is rated M!

Anyway, carry on please!

Sakura stood in front of a grave. She had never done so before; there had never been a reason to do so before. Her parents were still very much alive and she had never known her grandparents so there was no reason to mourn them. No one on her team had died and though she had known ninja who had, none of them were close enough to her to cause great loss.

Sure, she sympathized for those who loved those fallen soldiers of Konoha but she didn't openly mourn them.

It was hard work mourning someone, Sakura decided. When one openly grieved they went against all the things that made a ninja just that, a ninja. Ninja were supposed to rise above human emotion. Yet, this graveyard and its adjacent field where the monument resided were proof that ninja felt.

Why else would they take such good care of the dead?

Sakura looked down at her feet. Her toes wiggled in the confines of her peak-a-boo sandals. She itched to take them off and feel the grass between her toes. Giving into the urge, she sat down and slipped off her sandals, laying them to rest beside her. In front of her were the flowers she had put down, unsure of exactly where to place them.

In Sakura's humble opinion it seemed stupid to give flowers to the dead. First off, it wasn't like they could smell them or appreciate their beauty. Secondly, the flowers would wither and die in a matter of days. In conclusion, Sakura had long since decided that if she were to visit someone's grave she would want to leave something behind that would last. Last like a rock maybe. Sure rocks weren't exactly pretty but they were part of the earth, part of life. Rocks would last through time and be a constant reminder that someone had come to pay homage.

Yet here she was with stupid flowers. What she needed was a rock.

Sakura stood and left the flowers and her sandals behind. She walked up and down the rows of similarly shaped headstones until she reached the gates.

Along one side of the gate was a stream which she knew had a rocky bottom.

Sakura picked up her dress until it was to mid thigh and waded out into the water. It was frigid around her calves but the feeling was welcome. The chill sent up her spine was just one more reminder that she was still living. Sakura was beginning to doubt if she was human anymore.

With her skirt in one hand, Sakura reached down with the other and let her fingertips skim the riverbed. She came up a few moments later with a small red hued rock resting in the open palm of her hand.

The rock itself was entirely unimpressive. It's red-brown color common to most rocks. It was fairly measly size wise as well and looked like a rock meant for skipping as it was particularly flat. All-in-all it was not a noteworthy rock. Perhaps it was because of this that the sight of it made Sakura smile.

In spite of its unattractive appearance it was just what she had been looking for, something unimposing. The rock was a simple gesture to let the spirits know that she had come and paid her respects to the loss of a fellow member of the Will of Fire.

Sakura closed her hand around her now precious item and slowly walked back over to the grave. She let her dress down. It stuck to her wet calves like a second skin.

An onlooker might have praised the dress for doing this since the tug on the fabric by her damp body caused it to stretch and strain, pulling it taunt in all the right places.

Though right and wrong is all in the eye of the beholder. And it just so happened that there was someone to behold the sight of Sakura and her wet dress. But the beholder at that moment didn't want to out themselves as an odd sort of peeping tom.

Sakura knelt in her pervious spot and reached out tentatively, placing the bouquet of white carnations by the headstone. Ino had told her they were the flowers of remembrance, commonly used to visit graves. Apparently the use of red roses was not proper if you didn't love the deceased.

That was fine with Sakura since she held no love in her heart for the person buried beneath her. She didn't know them, couldn't have ever known them in fact. She had only seen their face briefly.

Placing the rock on top of the head stone, Sakura admired how it balanced on the edge. It was a small adornment to an otherwise monotone obtrusion from the ground.

Sakura withdrew her hand into her lap as her eyes moved over the slab before her. There was a single word etched in an otherwise blank expanse of gray stone. Gesei.

The word called out to Sakura. She vividly remembered the tattoo on the young girls chin. It was her namesake apparently.

Sakura remembered how she had pressed a gloved finger over the tattoo to indentify that it was, in fact, ink. The feeling of the cold flesh under her fingertips was nothing new to Sakura but now it sickened her. The word, the name, Gesei, needed to be felt.

Sakura moved forward, her knees flattening the lush grass. She stopped just short of the tombstone and sat back on her heels. She dug her fingers into the soft dirt that surrounded the stone where grass had yet to take root. It was moist between her fingers.

She picked up a clump and crumbled it in her lap before letting go. The bits of dirt sprinkled over her light blue summer dress. Dirt was stuck under her fingernails; she could feel it but not see it.

Brushing her now dirty hand over the sunken in letters of an unknown person's name, Sakura felt her shoulders begin to shake. Was it sadness? Exhaustion both mental and physical?

Why was she even here?

Logically it was because everyone deserved to have someone mourn for them. Illogically, because perhaps by mourning his daughter, she was mourning him and their lost chance to move on together.

Her hand dropped and she ducked her head, letting her chin fall against her chest. Her lips moved, a silent whisper, meant to fall on deaf ears. Because, of course, the dead didn't hear like the living did.

Her prayers finished Sakura wiped her face. Her tear stained cheeks were smudged with dirt as she drew the back of her hand across her eyes.

Sakura didn't move to stand or adjust herself as she crouched awkwardly.

Thunder sounded in the distance, a warning of a coming storm. The sky had been dark and cloudy all day. Sakura looked up and patiently waited for the rain. Rain washed the soil away, made life spring anew.

She felt dirty inside. Not for the first time, Sakura wanted to be washed away down into the drains under the city. She wanted to be wiped clean off the earth. People had always disappointed her and she them. She was tired of waiting for something better to happen. She was tired of hoping for sun and always, always, ALWAYS, getting rain!

Sakura closed her eyes, faced still upturned. "Please," she spoke in a near whisper "Please, Rain."

Tsunade sat with her chin resting on her upturned palm as Shizune paced back and forth in front of her. She had stopped listening to the young woman's ranting a few minutes ago but was still amused by her frantic waving and rather animated facial expressions.

At the moment, Shizune was hung up on the present situation between Tsunade's other apprentice and a certain silver haired jounin. Apparently, Sakura had not visited him since he had woken up, much to Shizune's chagrin.

Since Sakura hadn't been willing to, the duty then fell to her. It wasn't that Shizune didn't want to help Kakashi, he was a dear friend, Shizune had explained multiple times, but she had plenty of other things to do.

Why should their inability to get their shit together impugn on her life?

For the most part Tsunade agreed with this. However, she couldn't deny she found it funny that Shizune wanted her to intervene when only a year prior Shizune had deplored the idea of meddling in other peoples affairs. The turnaround was not a surprising one considering the present state of things but Tsunade couldn't let the irony go unnoticed. So she cleared her throat causing Shizune to stop and face her.

"I understand your concerns perfectly, Shizune. I fail to see what this has to do with me however."

Shizune's hackles immediately rose. "Fail?" She sputtered indignantly. "You're the Hokage! You should be involved in the affairs of all your ninja."

Tsunade looked at her nails, picking out imaginary dirt from underneath them. "As I recall, you reminded me that it isn't my place to mess in personal matters. Was that not the case?"

Tsunade looked up at Shizune. She could almost see the steam rising from her head. "But Lady Hokage…" Her voice trailed off and she sighed dejectedly. "You are right. But don't you think that something should be done?"

Tsunade nodded ever so slightly and looked back at her nails. "I have a plan of sorts. Kakashi is being checked out of the hospital as we speak."

"Checked out? But he has at least another week of observation before he even has to chance to be considered healthy enough to take care of himself. That is unless he had a medic watching him. Oh… Oh!" Shizune's eyes lit up in understanding. It was like a light bulb had gone off. Tsunade could almost picture the little flashing light beaming over Shizune's head.

"Yes. All that is true. Of course, Kakashi doesn't know that, yet."

Shizune nodded and tried not to smile. "Are you sure that Sakura will go along with this? It does seem a tad underhanded and a little too cliché."

"Ah, but things are only cliché because they have obviously worked so many times before. Don't you agree?" Tsunade didn't wait for an answer. "Send for Sakura. I will debrief her on this new mission as soon as possible. She will be the one to tell her patient. " Tsunade's lips unturned into a devilish grin.

Kakashi was released on good behavior as it were; a week early too, thank Kami. Apparently he had an abnormally fast regeneration of cells which meant he healed better than the normal ninja. Yes, he owed his genetics a lot of thanking for getting him out of the torture establishment known as a "hospital". Quotation marks defiantly needed.

Though to be fair, it wasn't all that bad. The food and the drugs had greatly improved since his last extended stay. It wasn't the worst experience of his life but no ninja liked being cooped up for extended periods of time. Ninja's had routines, schedules that kept them on track. So when he was released, true to his ninja ways, he didn't return home but rather went to the monument, his usual place of rest.

It was midday but very overcast so the streets weren't as crowded as usual. Most people opted to stay home or in restaurants and stores rather than in the parks or on the streets. This was fine with Kakashi; he knew the value of silence, of solitude.

Most of his hospital stay had been alone. Sure Naruto had come to visit with Hinata and their new baby girl. Kurenai had come by with her son who looked more like Asuma every day. Genma had dropped by multiple times with the offer of a stripper which Kakashi had adamantly turned down.

And, of course Guy came to see him, twice in fact. The first time he had been characteristically un-Guy and told Kakashi he was sorry for his condition before leaving silently. That Guy had so unnerved Kakashi that he almost wept with joy when Guy's second visit came with a "The Blissful Road of Youth!" and a "Spring Beauty Is Eternal!"

But even with those drop-ins, most of Kakashi's days and nights were silent; just him and the beeping machines and his little orange book which Genma had been nice enough to provide him.

No Sakura though.

The thought made Kakashi pause on his walk to the memorial. He stood outside the gate that led to its field, his hand resting on the cool metal grating.

Sakura hadn't come by once after they had spoken. He was fairly certain that was intentional since Naruto had filled him in about Sakura's visiting habits beforehand. Apparently, it was her that had worn in the seat in the corner of his room from all the nights she had spent sleeping by his side. She was also the only one who had attended to him on a regular basis. She had been the one to change out his bags, to make his bed, to give him sponge baths, to check his vitals. It was almost enough to make him smile.

Sakura had now seen his face more than any one person had in his life. Hell, she'd probably seen his naked body more than anyone alive.

Alive. Rin…

Rin.

Rin.

Rin.

Sakura.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kakashi caught a glimpse of pink.

His body swiveled around to face the cemetery. Through the fence that separated one from the other Kakashi could see Sakura slip out of the river.

She let the skirt of her dress drop and Kakashi couldn't help but notice how it clung to her wet legs. The attached fabric stretched in such a fashion that Kakashi could see every dip and curve of her lithe body.

Her back was to him as she continued to weave through head stones. Kakashi watched the sway of her hips and how the fabric hugged her ass, her very tight ass.

Kakashi shook his head as if that alone would rid him of his treacherous thoughts. Maybe Icha Icha had addled his brain more than he had previously thought.

He continued to watch Sakura until she dipped down in front of a row of headstones and he could only see the top of her pastel hair.

She called out to him without knowing it. He wanted so badly to hold her.

What happened next couldn't be explained by rational thought. Kakashi, in all honestly, couldn't have answered how he found himself in the middle of the cemetery, just a few feet away from Sakura. He didn't remember his feet moving. Yet here he was, hovering behind his former student with her blissfully unaware. There was no sun for him to cast a shadow and she must have been wrapped up in her own thoughts because she hadn't noticed his chakra signature either.

Kakashi's eyes drunk in the sight of her. He noted the way her hair tumbled over her shoulders, how her blue dress sat off center because one of its strap had slipped off her shoulder, the lack of a bra strap which probably meant she had her bindings on instead, the curve of her legs as they pressed together underneath her. Her arms wrapped around herself. Her small frame was shaking. Shaking? Was she cold? Was she crying? Who for?

Kakashi looked up at the realization that Sakura was here because she was visiting someone's grave. Duh. But whose?

In front of both of them was a plot with three graves. The first two were unmarked and the third contained a single word.

He knew this place, this plot. He had only been here once but that was enough. The image of the two gravestones without a name to signify who was buried there was a picture that had been burned into Kakashi's brain. It was the last memory of his parents. And now, this same scene would be a lasting memory of his daughter and of Sakura; forever imprinted over the sullen portrait of his parents non-existent funeral was his former student, head bowed in front of his family plot.

The air was knocked out of his chest. Kakashi felt himself fall to his knees. He heard Sakura gasp and saw her hair fly as she spun around and their eyes met. He felt her reach out to him as he bowed forward, curling in on himself.

Sakura's arms came around Kakashi's shoulders as she instinctually cradled his head to her chest. She didn't know when he had gotten there or how long he had been standing behind her but none of that mattered; he was shaking as badly as she was. Against her better judgment she held on tight.

Kakashi's arms slid around Sakura, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her sides. He wound the sheer cotton of her dress into tight balls in his fist. His cheek pressed against her collar bone. Her skin smelled in rain and strawberries and her hands in his hair were reminiscent of heaven. He breathed her delicious scent in.

Meanwhile, Sakura couldn't breathe. Her brain couldn't compute what was happening anymore. Kakashi, the person she had spent the better part of a month avoiding was now in her arms, clinging to her as if letting go would kill him.

She let her fingers glide through his hair, her nails gently scraping along his scalp. The action earned her a low grumble in response. A good thing, she surmised.

Sakura let her head fall forward, her cheek coming to rest in his pure white hair. It wasn't sticking up in its usual gravity defying manner. Sakura absentmindedly guessed that this was probably because his hitai-ate was not in place. His thick locks fell in layers around his face. It was soft against her skin. Sakura involuntarily nuzzled into them, loving the way they tickled her cheeks and lips.

"Breathe, Sakura"

She couldn't hear the words but she felt his lips move against her skin and as if the command alone was enough she gasped, sucking in the oxygen she had unintentionally been depriving herself.

Kakashi loosened his grip and laced his fingers together at the small of her back. His thumb traced lazy circles there.

Sakura immediately tensed, her grip in his hair marginally tightening. Her nails dug into his skin and his chest rumbled. Sakura could feel his lip curl up in a silent snarl. She felt a whimper bubbling up in her throat but somehow managed to keep it down.

Such close proximity to Kakashi was exactly what Sakura had wanted and feared most. She needed to move away but couldn't bring herself to; she didn't know if she would ever be this close to him again.

Kakashi didn't seem to be in much of a hurry to get away either so Sakura stayed put even though her body was beginning to ache from her painful position and his extra weight on her. She was afraid if she shifted or spoke or breathed in too deeply the moment would be gone, shattered, like the moon light in a recent dream.

After several long moments, Kakashi lifted his head and looked at her with mismatched eyes. Sakura wasn't sure which eye to focus on. They seemed to be sending different signals. The charcoal eye looked at her with profound sadness while the Sharingan held something much more primal in its depths.

As he spoke he drew her attention from his eyes to his lips. Sakura wished his mask was gone so that she could see the smooth, full mouth she remembered from their last mission together.

His voice, soft as it was, cut through the silence that enrobed them. "Why did you come here Sakura?" His eyes searched hers as if the answer he was looking for was written plainly on her face.

Sakura released him, her hands falling limply at her sides. Her eyes darted down and to the side, a tell tale sign that she was uncomfortable. "People deserve to be mourned. If I-" Sakura gulped and shot a glance at Kakashi before looking back at the ground again. "If I were to die I would want someone to visit me."

Kakashi's gaze softened at her admission. "Many would mourn you, Sakura. You are a beloved member of this village. You are an amazingly accomplished young woman."

Sakura flinched at that. Even after all that had happened he still didn't see her as a peer. She would always be a 'young woman', never simply a 'woman' to him.

"No one has ever come to this plot. No one has visited these fallen souls." Sakura bit out. She knew it was a low blow but he deserved it. It wasn't like he ever paid respect to his own family. He grieved for his fallen teammates regularly but couldn't spare an extra minute to do the same for his own blood. Young woman? Ha. He was the immature one here, not her.

Sakura crossed her arms over her chest and pushed herself up. She stood in front of the still kneeling Kakashi looking down at him as he inclined his head back to peer up at her. She expected him to get mad, to admonish her for assuming she knew what he did or didn't do but instead he simply asked, "What's the rock for?"

Sakura stole a glance over her shoulder at the small rock sitting atop the gravestone, looking very purposeful in its placement. She shrugged and sighed, "Proof that someone came, I guess."

"Isn't that what that flowers are for?" Kakashi questioned as he stood up too, dwarfing her with his sheer size. His hand brushed past her as he pointed at the bouquet behind her and Sakura did her best to ignore his fingers against the bare skin of her arm.

"Flowers die. But no one would mistake the rock for an accident. It couldn't have gotten there itself. It's proof that someone came here. It's proof that will last much longer than any flower."

"Very philosophical of you Sakura but what about if you planted the flowers instead?"

Sakura felt her cheeks flush. "Don't patronize me Kakashi. I am not your student anymore, not like I ever really was. And I am not your subordinate. I have just as much authority as you do!"

Taken aback Kakashi admonished, "I don't know where you're getting that from. I was not trying to be demeaning, Sakura."

"Yeah. Sure. I seriously doubt you're as innocent as all that." Sakura hissed.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed and he scoffed. "What you lack in understanding you more than make up for with your recalcitrance."

Sakura jabbed him hard in the chest, knowing that it would leave a bruise. Kakashi, however, didn't respond to the jab. He acted as if she hadn't even touched him.

"You would know a thing or two about that wouldn't you? Always so resistant to change and authority! When do you ever follow the rules?"

"Do as I say not as I do, Sakura."

"I'm not your student! You never did a thing for me! It was always Naruto, Sasuke, Naruto, Sasuke! How easy it was to forget the girl in the middle of it! You know you never came to me once when I was training under Tsunade! Not once! How dare you act all high and mighty!"

Sakura temporarily paused in her ranting to emphatically point at herself before continuing on. "I was the one who sought you out! I was the one who asked you to train with me! I have always been the one Kakashi! Don't' you see that! I've always been the one…" Sakura deflated. She hadn't meant to let that slip.

Truthfully, she never really believed that Kakashi had intentionally ignored her all those years but she couldn't deny the deep seated resentment she felt for being the" one left out". She was over it, really she was, but in anger, Sakura knew it was the easiest thing to hurt Kakashi with.

She couldn't look at him. She knew what she would see. She knew that sadness that would be evident in his posture, his gaze, the set of his mouth that could be seen against the thin fabric that covered the lower half of his face.

Sakura moved backwards until she bumped in the gravestone. Its cool surface against her now flushed skin was the motivation she needed. She took off like a shot, leaving Kakashi behind.

He made no move to follow her. Instead he stood there, in front of his family plot, looking down at his hands.

He saw red. So much blood on his hands. And his family, all dead, all gone.

Nothing more than unwritten names on empty tombstones.

He knew he should go after her. He knew the best course of action was to chase her down, grab her by the shoulders and tell her everything, plain and simple. He knew that was all she wanted.

Most importantly, he knew he couldn't.

Kakashi continued to stare down as his hands went from open with upturned palms to fists, vibrating with repressed anger.

Why did she have to be so damned difficult? He was doing what was best for both of them, or at least, trying to. Why did she have to be so irresistible?

The thought itself was incredibly stupid. Kakashi knew he was the one to blame for not being able to control himself. But for once it was nice to put the blame on someone else.

Kakashi looked at the ground in front of his daughters grave and saw the rock previously perched on top now laying on the ground.

He carefully walked forward and knelt, picking up the small stone in his hand and rolling it between his thumb and forefinger.

He gingerly placed it back in its original resting place.

Maybe Sakura did have a point.

Kakashi stood and began to walk away but unlike the last time he had visited, he intended to return soon with a rock for each of the three graves.

Sakura stalked up the steps to her apartment door, fully intending to fling herself onto her bed and never emerge again but as her door came into view Sakura stopped short. In front of her apartment was Shizune with a hand up and poised, heady to knock. Sensing Sakura's chakra, Shizune turned to face her and smiled, eyes crinkled closed. "Sakura. Hi. I have a miss-"

"No!"

Shizune eyes snapped open and she stared at Sakura awestruck. Sure, Sakura had a temper but she was never rude.

"Sakura is something wr-"

And again. "No!"

Sakura stormed past Shizune, practically pushing her out of the way and threw her apartment door open which luckily stayed on its hinges. Before Shizune could speak again Sakura slammed the door in her face with another resounding "NO!"

Shizune looked at the closed door, inches from her nose for a minute, blinking slowly.

"Well, that was… unexpected"

TBC…

Stick with me readers! There are approximately five chapters left in this story and then it's on to the next one which I already have in the works. Yup, that's right guys. I'm writing another Sakura x Kakashi fanfic totally unrelated to this one but still good! So when this one is over please be sure to check it out!

Also, on a total side tangent to all this stuff, has anyone ever noticed that there's absolutely no mention of Sakura's family? I mean, maybe I missed it somewhere but I'm pretty sure there isn't. There tons of details about the background of the rest of Team 7 so why is there nothing on Sakura? Anyone know why? LOL

And seriously, Sakura's chakra. I hadn't expected a rhyme there.

And don't forget to review! Pleaseeeeeee!