Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and the South Park residents are owned by Matt Stone and Trey Parker

Jessica, LaTanya, and Keira belong to me

"Hey Puffball could we talk?" Jessica asked.

"About what?" Stan asked.

"Why'd you puke? You nearly hit us." Jessica said.

"You can't tell no one this yet, but I think I like LaTanya." Stan said.

"So you puke?" Jessica asked.

"It's a bad habit. Its not my fault honestly." Stan said in a whiny tone.

"Stan wants to ki-ss LaTanya Har-ris." Cartman sang.

"Shut up Fatass!" Stan snapped.

"I'm not fat goddamn it! Big-bone and besides everyone knows you only puke when you're in love." Cartman said.

"I'm about to kick your ass Fatass!" Stan snapped.

"While you're at it you could kiss it too." Cartman taunted as Jessica giggled and Stan turned red.

"Goddamn it Cartman!" Stan snapped leaving.

"Stan's such a pussy." Cartman said smirking.

"Why did you come over Kyle's yesterday?" Jessica asked.

"Why do you care?" Cartman asked annoyed.

"Because you hate Jews." Jessica spat as Cartman sighed.

"Because--" Cartman started when Mr. Garrison came in cheerfully.

"Oh class I have wonderful news." Mr. Garrison said.

"You're quitting teaching?" Craig asked.

"No goddamn it," Mr. Garrison snapped as he smiled again, "Even better."

"What?" Cartman spat.

"Mr. Slave and I are back together." Mr. Garrison said dreamily.

"You're gay?" Jessica asked.

"I thought Mr. Slave and Big Gay Al got married after you turned into a woman?" Stan asked.

"They did. Big Gay Al and Mr. Slave went to the Jonas Brother concert." Mr. Garrison said.

"(They're fags.)" Kenny muttered scornfully.

"So?" Craig asked.

"So Big Gay Al seen Mr. Slave masturbating at the concert and confronted him about it." Mr. Garrison explained.

"We don't care." Kyle said as Clyde yawned.

"So?" Tweek asked.

"So after that they argued and they got a divorce." Mr. Garrison said.

"Will we be graded on this?" Heidi asked.

"So welcome your old/new class assistant." Mr. Garrison said as Mr. Slave came in.

"Hello everyone. Nice to see you all again. Oh Jesus Christ." Mr. Slave said.

"Please don't put no more poor animals up you're butt again. Please don't!" Butters begged.

"Alright now back to real class. Today we're gonna be doing a lab project involving eggs." Mr. Garrison said.

"We already did that." Cartman said.

"Yes, but I want to prove to Mr. Slave I could take care of a child." Mr. Garrison said.

"Adopting too?" Red asked.

"But we did this ten months ago Mr. Garrison!" Cartman whined.

"Stan nearly cost me by grade!" Bebe whined.

"Shut up Bebe!" Cartman snapped.

"I don't care! Besides Eric you broke the first egg!" Mr. Garrison snapped.

"You fat son of a bitch! You broke the egg and didn't tell me!?" Heidi snapped.

"Hey! I don't have to take crap from a fuckin girl!" Cartman snapped.

"You should have told me you fat fuck!" Heidi snapped.

"Suck my balls bitch!" Cartman snapped.

"No asshole!" Heidi snapped.

"You can't talk to him like that you slut! Only I could! And another thing he's not fat, he's big-fucking-bone!" Jessica snapped as she along with the whole class gasped as she quickly covered her mouth blushing.

"Okay for pairs it's gonna be Kenny and Keira, Kyle and Millie, Timmy and Nellie, Cartman and Jessica, Stan and LaTanya, Jimmy and Lola, Francis and Wendy, Clyde and Heidi, Leroy and Red, Kevin and Esther, Bradley and Annie, Butters and Bebe, Token and Sally, and Craig and Tweek." Mr. Garrison said handing each one of them an egg.

"This is retarded." Kyle muttered.

"This is lame." Clyde said.

"(Woohoo!)" Kenny cheered.

"TIMMY!" Timmy screamed.

"I guess we pretend parents for awhile." LaTanya said as Stan puked.

"Kick ass!" Stan cheered.

"But I don't wanna be paired up with Butters!" Bebe whined.

"Hey wait a minute! Why are Tweek and me together?" Craig demanded.

"Because there were no more people left." Mr. Garrison said.

"This is gonna suck donkey balls." Cartman said.

"Now remember treat your egg like a child and NO BREAKING IT." Mr. Garrison demanded.

"Ugh!" Cartman groaned.

I hoped you like the chapter. I got the chapter idea after watching Follow That Egg!, The Ring, and Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina. Anyway I hoped you like and please review