Disclaimer: I do NOT in anyway own Durarara.
The flea was standing in front of me, and somewhat blocking to way into his apartment. He looked rather annoying, but his eyes were blank and didn't piss me off as much as they usually did. I guess it was the fact that he always watching to see when I would mess up and then mock me somehow that had always really pissed me off.
"You're here, talk and get out." The flea's voice sounded angry but there wasn't anything behind it.
It was sorta weird. The flea I knew always had some double or triple meaning behind everything he said; he was always trying to get something out of everyone else and yet give up nothing of himself. Now his speech just sounded empty, like he had really just given up on everything. That was just creepy, as much as I hated the old backstabbing flea, I actually preferred him to this guy.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Sitting around like this and sulking like some lovesick teenage girl? Shinra went a little crazy trying to save your life, and then you just walk off without so much as thanking him? I'm really regretting bothering to save you, flea."
The flea reached across his chest and grabbed one of his forearms and gripped it tightly. He looked so pathetic there that I actually started feeling bad for saying something like that. His gaze fell, and he refused to meet my eyes.
"I'm sorry." His voice was like a whisper, "Tell Shinra that'll I send him some money, okay? So can you just leave?" There was nothing behind his words, they were empty and pleading.
I was going to just leave to save the flea from making himself look more pathetic when an all too familiar scent hit me. The smell of blood, and its metallic tang was something I knew all too well from the many fights I had been involved in. Did he really?
I didn't wait to answer my own question and made for the flea and grabbed the arm he had been clawing into, and pulled it up above his head. He winced as I gripped his arm, and made a sad attempt at getting away, but he seemed more ready to just accept any injury.
Pulling down his sleeve revealed bandages through which blood was seeping through.
"Always though you would be too heartless to ever have to resort to something like this, flea." I loosened my grip a bit on him.
"Well, I'm not a god yet, so sorry for having feelings. You wanna hit me? Then just do it already." There was just the tiniest bit of defiance that slipped back into his voice, but it still seemed so pleading.
"That's what you want flea? Someone to come over to you and beat you, do you think that getting hurt willingly is gonna change anything? There's no magic fix to everything in life, you should know that, everything thing you do, all the shit is gonna follow you around forever, stop running you aren't gonna get anywhere like that." It was pissing me off that after all the shit that flea had gotten me and countless other people into, and he couldn't even deal with his own problems and just went around making shit even worse for everyone else?
He still wasn't meeting my gaze. I tightened my grip and pulled his arm up higher until I was almost lifting him off the ground, "Well? Got anything to say for yourself; any new witty remark?"
"Um." He mumbled something, then raised his voice a bit more, "I tried."
"Tried?" I kinda lost what the flea was sayin'
"To stop." He stated, "I tried a lot, and distanced myself more and more from everything, and tried to stay on top of things, but…" He trailed off, his voice cracking.
I couldn't make myself keep talking, I realized that I probably looked insanely pathetic and afraid, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. Everything around me just felt like it was crashing down. Memories so long suppressed, all the things that I had pushed to the back of my mind and tried to pretend didn't exist or had never happened came back to me.
I moved the arm that Shizu-chan wasn't holding up and grabbed the material of his suit. I pulled myself upwards without even realized what I was doing and pressed my lips against his.