D. Interlude III
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"So you made the final call to have them tell me nothing about your whereabouts?" Shinichi asks after a long silence. She doesn't respond, but this time, she makes it clear that her silence is affirmative. His voice cracks. "Why?"
"I don't know," she says in a low whisper and looks at her feet. Her hands, tucked behind her back, are tightly clasped together. "Maybe it was because I was afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
She lifts her head and throws a glance at the clock on a building near them. 5:53pm. Then she looks at him and shrugs. "Afraid... Afraid that you really cared. Afraid that I was wrong. I didn't believe them when they told me you were frantic. At least I didn't think that you'd be frantic because..." Her voice trails off.
"Then why come back now?" Shinichi asks in a barely audible voice.
"I felt that we needed to clear up some things. Some misunderstandings." Her voice is firmer, full of confidence. Shinichi knows that she is back in control.
"Misunderstandings," Shinichi repeats. He nods. "Misunderstandings..."
So many things are still unclear to him. What happened to Saruwatari is clear enough, though he has yet to find out how she died. Suicide, most probably, he thinks. He scoffs at the idea, which he now finds to be the most probable when he has refused to even consider the possibility of suicide until just now. He scoffs at himself.
Shinichi raises his eyebrows in the way one will when one is helpless and sighs. They all lied when they told him they had no idea where she was. Hondo... when Hondo told him that he and the others didn't find her when they broke into the first building. James... when James told him that she was most probably dead – there were so many rooms, so many buildings, so many explosions, so few people to search for her. Even Gin... when Gin told him they'd done what they do to traitors... Shinichi supposes he will never figure out why Gin would say that. But then again, Ai doesn't remember being brought back to the Organization. He believes her.
Now that he thinks back to the reactions from the FBI agents, he knows he should've realized that they were keeping information from him. Jodie was a pretty awful liar when it came to telling him nothing about Ai. She must've wanted to tell him. The only person who could've pulled it off was Akai. Shinichi looks at Ai and decides not to ask about Akai.
He was too distracted. Too distracted to notice the signs from the FBI agents.
But what does anything matter now?
"They..." Shinichi says as he takes in a deep breath, as if to start afresh. "Ayumi-chan, Mitsuhiko-kun, Genta-kun, and the professor... have you met up with them yet?"
"I will. Tomorrow."
He casts a baffled look at her. She didn't come to see him first, did she? Speaking of which... "How did you know I was here, anyway?" he asks. All he receives as a response is a short laugh. There is some sort of expression on her face, in her eyes right after the laugh, but before he can figure out (some sort of expectant expression, waiting for something, some words...), a honk catches both their attentions. They both recognize the truck.
"So. He's here to pick you up?" Shinichi asks, as if asking the question will change everything. She will not leave, perhaps.
Still looking at the truck, she nods. "I... hope that we've cleared up all misunderstandings," she says as she turns her head around to face him again. "What I know, you now know, too. As for what you know, I may not know, but..." She falls silent.
"You said you're going to... visit the professor and the others tomorrow?" He resents the usage of the word "visit." It sounds as if she is just here for a short period of time. Well, she isn't, right? She's come back to continue her life as Haibara Ai, right? He doesn't even care if she takes the antidote to return to being Miyano Shiho or not. He just doesn't want her to leave.
She doesn't answer his question. "My flight's tomorrow afternoon. I won't have time to visit her, but tell your girlfriend I said hi and wished her well."
Her statement throws him off. But he manages to sort through the intentional mesh and asks, "Where are you going this time?" When he remembers that he should add that Ran isn't his girlfriend and won't be, she has spoken.
"You want to know?" There is genuine surprise in her tone.
He hesitates. "Stay. Please."
She stares at him. However, already back in control, she shows no emotion that will help him figure out what she is really thinking at that moment. "I have places to go. Things to do."
"Can't it be here?"
"Why do you want me to stay?"
"Because... Why do you have to leave?"
"What I'm searching for is not located here."
"Have you looked for it?" he snaps. But he doesn't mean to direct it at her. It's just something that will be haunting him from now on. Have you looked for it? Have you actually looked for her?
"Yes, I have," she says decisively. "I spent a lot of time looking for it. All those times when I would stay up past midnight. I'm searching for the antidote."
"The antidote?" he echos with much surprise and disbelief. "But... I... you..."
"Shinichi," she calls his name in a soft voice. He feels his face heat up. "Where from?" she quotes, pulls from her pocket an amber with an ant trapped inside it, and shows it to him. Gives it to him. "Where to?"
Then with a small, soft smile, she turns her heels.
