Once upon a time, there was a young couple that was camping together in a spacious, pointed tent near a small, shallow lake that covered a couple of square miles in upstate New York. The couple consisted of two college students who had known each other since childhood. The young woman was sharp-tongued and stubborn, yet deep down she was quite kind-hearted. She was tall and lean from battling creatures in her youth and had, according to her boyfriend; blond hair curled like a princess's, grey eyes stormy enough to lose yourself in when conversing with her, and was smart, beautiful.

The young man was good-natured and clever; but most of all he was brave. He had cute, tousled dark hair and handsome green eyes as per his girlfriend. He had built muscle after many years of strenuous fighting against his opponents, usually comprised of ancient Greek monsters and the Greek gods themselves.

*Narrator smiles sheepishly* [Sorry! I meant bullies from grade school.]

Though sarcastic at times, he was considered a very nice guy. The couple, while different from each other in many ways, went together like satyrs and tree nymphs.

*Narrator coughs loudly* [Or, to suit your understanding better: like peanut butter and jelly.]

The man enjoyed swimming in the lake water at dawn since he had an innate immunity to the cold temperatures. The woman enjoyed reading, particularly books on architecture, Greek myths, adventurous tales, and esteemed modern and classic novels and series such as Little Women or the Maximum Ride series.

On the second morning of the couple's camping trip, the man took a swim in the lake in the early morning and swam about for several hours. Upon his return he took a nap, and the woman set off outside with a book in hand. Although she wasn't familiar with the lake, she borrowed a boat from a fisherman and steered it into a secluded, tree-canopied area and began to read her book in peace.

After a handful of minutes, a park ranger patrolling the lake drove his boat right beside hers. He said to her, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading my book," she scoffed, thinking to herself, Isn't it obvious?

"This is a restricted fishing area," he informed her, pointing to his badge to signify his own importance, or rather, impudence.

Sighing, the woman replied, "But I'm not fishing, Officer. Can you not see that?"

"No matter, Ma'am, you have all the necessary equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I will charge you for rape!" snapped the irate woman, blond curls scurrying about her face.

"But… I haven't even touched you," the ranger replied, bewildered.

"Yes, that's true," she retorted, "but you have all the equipment for it, don't you?"

Leaving the ranger sitting in his boat with a gaping mouth, the woman rowed the boat to a new spot on the lake and continued reading. The ranger disappeared into the woods for the afternoon.

Later, the woman's boyfriend was taking a stroll through the woods as the woman built a fire back their campsite. The ranger was absentmindedly walking through the forest as well, and soon found himself colliding into a black-haired man in an orange t-shirt. The young man, believing the ranger was possibly dangerous, bound his arms together until the ranger yelped and kneed the ranger to the ground.

"What do you want?"

The ranger stuttered, "Nothing! My apologies for knocking into you; I was a bit distracted…"

The man let him stand, but wove a rope around his wrists for protection. "I've dealt with a lot of shadowy characters, and I see no reason I should trust you."

The ranger shrugged, saying, "I can respect that. But since I'm here, I've been dying to tell someone what happened to me today."

The man raised his eyebrows and sat atop a rotting log. The ranger sat on a log opposite to him; hands still bound, and retold the story of the woman to him. When he was finished, the man burst out laughing.

"That's my girl!"

The ranger stared at the man, eyes bulging. "Excuse me, what?"

The man stood up and grinned, untying the ranger's hands. "I'll let you go. Anyone as stupid as you can't possibly hurt me."

"What – hey!" the ranger protested, standing to his full height. He was much taller than the man, but the man did not look intimidated. On the contrary, he appeared all the more dangerous.

"That woman," the man said, eyes twinkling mischievously, "is my girlfriend of five years."

"Figures," muttered the ranger as he began to walk away.

"Wait just a minute there, Officer!" the man sniggered, crossing his arms. "I have to check if you learned your lesson today. What is the moral of the story you just told me?"

The ranger grudgingly turned around and croaked, "Just because a person has fishing equipment does not mean they're fishing?"

Chortling, the man corrected him: "Never argue with a woman who knows how to read!"

Looking mortally wounded, the ranger drudged away, humiliated.

The man, still doubled over with laughter, called to his retreating back, "Especially if that woman is my Annabeth!"

The story of the dim-witted ranger served as a source of hilarity for the remaining part of the couple's camping trip. After the couple drove back to their home in New York City, the incident was forgotten as new worries and hopes kept them preoccupied. The tale would resurface again every couple of years: remembered from a glance at a fishing boat or lake, told around a coffee table or patio; but the couple always had more important things to fuss about and would forget it yet again.

The only person who would always remember the story was, of course, the ranger. He had, believe it or not, been taught a lesson that day; and the experience undoubtedly left him wiser than before. The ranger made sure not to threaten to arrest people who were truly not doing anything wrong and prayed his silly badge wouldn't get to his head. He also never again attempted to argue with a woman who knew how to read, or anyone likely smarter than he.

*Narrator coughs* [Most everyone...]

FIN